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Anonymous #1
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How to get through holidays
#26399152 - 12/24/19 01:22 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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when you want to die? Admittedly I’ve been too much of a coward to end my life but I’m a ghost. I have zero attachment to this life. Every year I’m alive I just regret it.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: How to get through holidays [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#26399197 - 12/24/19 01:50 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Words are powerful. Change the words change your life.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: How to get through holidays [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#26400052 - 12/25/19 05:03 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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But do you/should you expect anything else?
Life is what it is, which is kind of shit, and for whatever reason doesn't seem to get any better. Maybe it's not possible for life to be good again, who knows.
The only reason I stick around instead of suicide, is to give life the chance to destroy me. I feel if I kill myself then dying wouldn't as satisfying, dunno.
My partner died 5 months ago, and yeah the holidays can suck a fat one. I've got nothing in me anymore, especially on Christmas fucking day. Break me, kill me, who cares, i'm done with it all.
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Anonymous #1
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But what if we live to old age and reach a point where we become prisoners in our own bodies.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: How to get through holidays [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#26400537 - 12/25/19 02:25 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I hope you guys find your spark for life. I can’t imagine the despair you’re going through to feel that way.
Christmas does suck I agree but I try to power through.
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Anonymous #3
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Then that's what life is, until it ends, if it ends. The good in life is so fucking fragile it may as well be a mirage. The worst in life is life actually being honest with you.
It's like in life there's a lot of bad but some good right, so you believe people when they say to focus on the good, be grateful etc.
But if life was a person, would you really want to know them or trust them? They're sometimes good to you, but then they do some fucked shit that makes you question whether you should hang around with them any more. It's like 'huh, ok so you're actually just a cunt'. If it took being old and trapped in my own body to realize that, then ok at least now I know.
The only thing that scares me is life not ending. Who's to say what's after death is better or worse. Just give me a damn end.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: How to get through holidays [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#26400985 - 12/25/19 09:13 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When I was younger, I hated the holidays, lonely and depressed. If life got better for a loser like me, it will get better for you.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: How to get through holidays [Re: Anonymous #5] 1
#26400996 - 12/25/19 09:33 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don’t know your situation but I think love and hope will always prevail. We need to work at it though, and some who have been knocked down hard have to put in overtime working at it.
Have you talked to anyone? Sought help? Mushroom therapy? Just reaching out here I think is a good start.
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Anonymous #3
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I was my partners full-time carer for the last 9 years. Didn't talk to anyone then, and that was when life was actually hard. If life is hard these days it's because of my shit choices, i'll have to find a new job at some point, or go on welfare but for whatever reason I can't bring myself to do anything to save myself.
A low dose might be good, it has been on my mind a lot, but I do know that mushies give you what you need, but not always what you want, makes me nervous. What I really need to do though is just lay off the N20, I always get depressed after a binge.
I don't know, maybe there just needs to be more people in the world like anon #4, #2 and #5 to balance out people like me...
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Anonymous #4
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Low dose might be a good start to get you comfortable. Do you have anyone to support or sit with you if you do a high dose?
Little things that might help too is helping others. Volunteer at a pet shelter or soup kitchen, VA or something. Not full on but an hour or two, see how it feels. If you’ve been alone and caregiving for so long it would be hard to just pull yourself up and jump back in to life again. Hard to know what your purpose is now.
Definitely lay off the N2O, but you know that already.
I really feel for you and your loss. caregiving takes so much out of you, you need to feed your own needs now.
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Anonymous #6
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Suicide doesn't guarantee things won't get worse. It only guarantees it won't get better.
I'd like to do it myself sometimes so I get it
Things always change, change is the only guaranteed thing in life
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Anonymous #7
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Life is what YOU make it. Within you exist endless opportunities\possibilities. Develop the situation and overcome. It will require courage. Forget audacity. Being bold is for the weak, it comes from weakness, courage comes from strength. It is the commitment to persevere, to wake every morning and practice the discipline to do the little things day in and day out to put yourself in a better position. The bold person makes one grand act but waivers in the face of adversity for they lack the strength of courage to have practiced discipline and committed themselves to the task of improving themselves every day. Wake up every day and practice the strength of courage.
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Anonymous #1
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If I’m dead there won’t be anymore problems or hoping for better change that will never come
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: If I’m dead there won’t be anymore problems or hoping for better change that will never come
Life is choice, things don't happen for you or to you. Things just happen. You can decide to be an active member in your story and develop it; or allow things to happen to you and be a subject of life. It's your choice. It is much easier to destroy life, it takes nothing and no time really. If run across a seedling I could easily uproot it or step on it, or I could nurture it. It takes less than 1 second to step on it and years of care to nurture it. I choose to nurture because I have chosen to provide that balance in the system that lends to destruction more readily. This gives me purpose. You need purpose.
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Anonymous #4
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Well said #7.
I hope every one of you goes into this new year with new hope and love. It’s not easy but making that intention will get you closer.
If any of you feel down and just need to know there is someone out there who cares, please PM me or keep posting here, I don’t always know what to say or how but can assure you there is someone out here who cares and will listen.
SunnyDayze
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Anonymous #8
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I wonder why we even bother living on the daily
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