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OfflineSpiralspider
Bigguy

Registered: 06/20/16
Posts: 223
Last seen: 3 months, 15 days
Stuck everywhere
    #26395045 - 12/22/19 06:40 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I dont know if you feel this too or not, but im not a huge drug consumer i just do it at parties and im a controlled guy even because i dont do very strong doses, maybe with alcohol i dont control very much but its just ocasionally that i drink.

My daily life seems to make no sense because ive got zero imagination and althought i seem to have no fear im afraid to leave home to whethever i want to go or do. So it seems i got rid of superficial fear but the fear is deep grounded on my subcounscious and really i dont know if i just should kill myself.

Nothing makes sense because we are going to die anyways old or young and we keep goong on on our daily lifes and without noticing everything we said we enjoyed is gone and i ask myself whats the point?

Really im stuck and im not the unhappiest person in the world its just im living just for the reason i have some hope things will be better in the future becauseif it was for right now i literally wouldnt want to live even one more second.

And besides that i hate myself feeling judged all the time by people who are doing better than me and because of that im always sleepy and sometimes i fake to be a sleep a whole day just to dont talk wi th people.

If anybody want to talk please pm me or you can write on the thread.


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InvisiblefeeversM
Male

Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc: Flag
Re: Stuck everywhere [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26395120 - 12/22/19 08:04 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

whats the point?




There are a lot of people that'll give you a lot of answers to that question, entire religions and philosophies based around it.

It's fun to ponder.

Ultimately, it's likely that most of it just won't sink in or click with you on a deeper level. Even the stuff that does... it'll probably change and be replaced with new philosophies as you grow older and have more experiences.

For myself, paying more attention to my mind state and how it is swayed by different actions and factors has helped me find a sort of purpose in it all. Your mind is your karma, it's your self-created heaven or hell, your actions and thoughts build your internal dwelling place, moment by moment.

It gets complicated with mental illness and psychological issues. Things like depression and anxiety can be used as guides in a way, as you become more self-aware they directly point out flaws and cognitive distortions in your worldview, things to work on. The work isn't easy or fun.

I guess my advice would be to start becoming intimately aware of the little things that make you happy/content, and those that make you unhappy, angry etc. Start trying to build your life so your days gradually consist more of the former. Sounds simple and obvious, but we all live mostly in routine, and much about our routines could be made more fulfilling. These little things add up. Changes can't be seen day by day, but can be monumental in the long term. If you just take one step up every day, after a year or two you're a whole lot higher up than you were to begin with.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Stuck everywhere [Re: Spiralspider] * 1
    #26395124 - 12/22/19 08:06 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like nihilism. I've spent a considerable time stuck there myself.

I think, to escape the clutches of that feeling, one has to work to define a meaning or generate a sense of purpose for oneself.

Not an easy task, but a far better outlook to focus on the way out of that prison than to spend time wallowing in it.

I wish you luck and perseverance and determination brother.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,030
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 24 minutes, 50 seconds
Re: Stuck everywhere [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26395284 - 12/22/19 09:54 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spiralspider said:

Nothing makes sense because we are going to die anyways old or young and we keep goong on on our daily lifes and without noticing everything we said we enjoyed is gone and i ask myself whats the point?




We can gracefully accept the fact life is impermanent. I suspect we'd figure out how to be unhappy even if we lived forever.   

Quote:

Spiralspider said:

And besides that i hate myself feeling judged all the time by people who are doing better than me  . . .




If you feel judged by people who are "doing better" than you - you have 2 problems. One, you have an active inner critic that's probably fueled by shame. And you are engaging in a boundary violation. You have no idea what other people actually think and feel and experience. So to speculate they are judging you is a boundary violation. Stay in your lane.


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