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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Sometimes it takes a bad time
#26392027 - 12/20/19 07:16 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Drank too much last night, didn't have a lot of fun. Was going up to the drive thru evening after evening. It is sooo hard not to want to drink when I wake up early.
I just want to be sober for Christmas. I made a pizza last night and it was great, but man...woke up feeling shitty at 2 am.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: Morel Guy] 1
#26392047 - 12/20/19 07:32 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I had a wake up call on Thanksgiving about my drinking. Don't remember half the night (or the Turkey), I got that plastered on Bourbon in the day. Felt like I let my friends down in the process, which hurt, and forced me to take a good hard look at the reasons for my drinking. Turns out the overriding one was a case of nihilism, which I've been working hard to address since.
Also, I've quit hard alcohol for the first 100 days of next year (until April 10th). Will probably extend it too, but nice to have a short term goal.
What could you quit for 100 days next year that would make your life better?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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christopera
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Registered: 10/13/17
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: Morel Guy]
#26392072 - 12/20/19 08:01 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah, bro. I'm so tired of drinking. Yet I find myself doing it all the time. My family and my wifes family drink all the time. Every time I say I want to take a break my wife looks at me sideways. I've dialed it back big time, blacking out and hangovers are a no-no, but I still drink way too much. The sad thing is, I love beer, I love bourbon, but drinking so much has ruined it for me.
-------------------- Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result. A Dorito is pizza, change my mind. Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things I’m sorry it had to be me.
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: christopera]
#26392136 - 12/20/19 08:55 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've poured down the drain about as much hard drink as I've drank. I rarely go 4 days without. There is a forgetting problem, forgetting how it can stink.
Last night I had 2 24oz honey brown which is no biggie. It was the 2 19.2oz 9% abv voodoo ranger imperial. Waking up early sucks so bad and I wanted to drink around 1pm but held off to 3pm. So I bought enough to ieep me busy untill 7:30pm which is my dogs supper. Then I take him out to go potty and go to bed.
I basically pay to get fat. Sometimes it is fun but it always gets expensive. Between lotto and beer it's a waste of money. My dog loves the drive thru cause they give him a cookie and love. Pretty mufh all the social life I have other than family is the shroomery and buying crap at the drive thru.
I live on a dead end street, right at the top 120 feet down the main road is the drive thru. They never say I drink too much there.
100 days without beer would encounter a lot of resistence. I did that last winter when I broke the last time from rhodiola rosea. Not to mention piecing together some bad repressed memories. Well that was earlier but still it was a rough patch.
I think most importantly is sleeping and eating right.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: Morel Guy]
#26392180 - 12/20/19 09:44 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm getting a little outta control too but
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: I'm getting a little outta control too but 
You've been doing that for a while IIRC?
Fucking slippery slope that is.
I'm so glad to be off it.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Dilsnique
Admiral Admirable


Registered: 04/22/14
Posts: 3,800
Loc: Netherworld
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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I've been closing the year out somewhat on a binge myself. After New Years, I plan on no more drinking til my berfday in March.
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Hand of Glory
Snufkin


Registered: 12/19/19
Posts: 12
Loc: Orange County, Southern C...
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: Dilsnique] 1
#26392304 - 12/20/19 11:19 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I am an alcoholic.
I have now been sober for 2 1/2 years. If you ever want to chat about sobriety please feel free to drop me a PM. If nothing else i'm always glad to listen to your experience.
I'm not advocating sobriety for anyone, however I have never woken up in the morning and said "I sure wish I drank that beer last night."
-------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Don’t worry we shall have wonderful dreams, and when we wake up it’ll be spring.” -Jansson
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Dilsnique
Admiral Admirable


Registered: 04/22/14
Posts: 3,800
Loc: Netherworld
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Quote:
Hand of Glory said:
I have now been sober for 2 1/2 years. If you ever want to chat about sobriety please feel free to drop me a PM. If nothing else i'm always glad to listen to your experience.
Noted, Hand of Glory, and thanks!
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: I'm getting a little outta control too but 
You've been doing that for a while IIRC?
Fucking slippery slope that is.
I'm so glad to be off it.
Yeah I mean I've always been on and off with booze. The holidays are just an excuse for me to get smashed and I usually overdo it.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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coAsTal
Friend


Registered: 04/04/06
Posts: 2,970
Loc: 8a
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: Morel Guy] 2
#26392400 - 12/20/19 12:44 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I know where you are-- I've been there.
I latched onto alcohol for many years in my 20's-- it was always a good time because I felt more like myself and wanted to be around people more. Then at some point I realized I was drinking at home by myself to feel happier. Then I was drinking a 12 pack every night.
It was devastating-- it got the the level that I was getting ripped and walking out into the woods naked getting all banged up in a stumbling daze. It took some hard-core bad decisions to drive home to me that I had to stop-- and I did-- turned my life around, started working out, eating clean, and got to the best shape of my life. I stayed sober for 12 years, then when I was out of state working I took a beer from a friend on the 4th of July-- which led directly to another couple years of the same terrible hole I was free from for so long.
I was always pretty functional-- which is why it was so hard to quit. I had plenty of ammunition to talk myself into why it was OK-- but I knew I was a mess, and I always went to darker and darker places as time went on.
I will always be an alcoholic by the definition of it-- it's bound to me in a way that always re-surfaces if I drink.
There's no question that the most important thing to do is to gain some time separation from where you are now-- in my experience, I was never really able to see the totality of how fucked up I was until a long time had passed after quitting and I could see it through the lens of my own history.
But that will happen, if you can break out of the habit and let it.
-------------------- I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of Imagination-- John Keats Spore Trading List
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qman
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Registered: 12/06/06
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Last seen: 17 hours, 40 minutes
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: christopera]
#26392452 - 12/20/19 01:17 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
christopera said: Yeah, bro. I'm so tired of drinking. Yet I find myself doing it all the time. My family and my wifes family drink all the time. Every time I say I want to take a break my wife looks at me sideways. I've dialed it back big time, blacking out and hangovers are a no-no, but I still drink way too much. The sad thing is, I love beer, I love bourbon, but drinking so much has ruined it for me.
You have a wife that gets upset when you slow down on drinking?
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Samiam76
Stranger



Registered: 08/29/19
Posts: 86
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Hand of Glory said: I am an alcoholic.
I have now been sober for 2 1/2 years. If you ever want to chat about sobriety please feel free to drop me a PM. If nothing else i'm always glad to listen to your experience.
I'm not advocating sobriety for anyone, however I have never woken up in the morning and said "I sure wish I drank that beer last night."
Quote:
Dilsnique said:
Quote:
Hand of Glory said:
I have now been sober for 2 1/2 years. If you ever want to chat about sobriety please feel free to drop me a PM. If nothing else i'm always glad to listen to your experience.
Noted, Hand of Glory, and thanks!
I've been 13 years without a drink, and I can say it's been the best years of my life. It was hard at first, but worth it for sure.
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gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire



Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 13,172
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 22 minutes, 49 seconds
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: Samiam76]
#26393893 - 12/21/19 11:34 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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im inadvertently sober, I started kratom and I just stopped drinking, i keep meaning to pick up a bottle of wine from the store and get wasted but I never do, been about 12 months since I would drink whenever possible, I only drank maybe 3 times in the last 12 months and 2 of those times it was because I was trying to boost my phenibut high
-------------------- For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome. Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it. My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy
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feevers


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc:
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: gopher] 1
#26393900 - 12/21/19 11:38 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I envy you if one bottle can get you wasted
my last few months have been a rollercoaster, I've gained like 15lbs probably just from drinking. Gonna start 2020 off with some mushrooms and hopefully some mdma and get back on track, saving the booze for special occasions only
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: gopher] 2
#26393930 - 12/21/19 12:05 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Kratom is not sober.
I gained a bit less than 20 from the year. Lost 4 pounds of bloat not drinking for a couple days. I still eat a good bit. Just think. 800 to 1200 calories from drinking is very easy.
Which is odd cause off med I wasn't a fan much of drinking. Mostly toked.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire



Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 13,172
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 22 minutes, 49 seconds
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: feevers]
#26394024 - 12/21/19 01:13 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
feevers said: I envy you if one bottle can get you wasted
my last few months have been a rollercoaster, I've gained like 15lbs probably just from drinking. Gonna start 2020 off with some mushrooms and hopefully some mdma and get back on track, saving the booze for special occasions only
no even with no tolerance I need like 2 bottles to get as drunk as I like to get, 1 bottle of vodka will do it though a mickey is not enough, I need a 26, but the only problem here is they tax the hell outta alcohol here a bottle of wine is like 10-`15 dollars for the cheapest one and vodka is like $30 for the 26er
-------------------- For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome. Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it. My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
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Re: Sometimes it takes a bad time [Re: gopher]
#26394034 - 12/21/19 01:24 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I just drink a beer or two for the taste
Found a nice little independent micro brewery
They have strawberry wheat beer and stuff , it's nice
Not so long ago I was drinking most of a 24 case of beer
With some whiskey for desert almost everday
I dont remember what I did but I'm not proud of it
It wasnt anything too bad
Then I found 2 jobs while I was going through thought loops of regret
I'm pretty sure they saved my life , they deffenitly took my mind off things
Edited by watermelon mon (12/21/19 01:26 PM)
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
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Some girl mentally abused me and stuff
Back in 2017
It drove me to drink
I picked up her father or whatever from the hospital once
He said so you're her friend
He told me good luck and gave me some money
I see what he meant the way he said it and the look on his face
Edited by watermelon mon (12/21/19 01:29 PM)
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Cujllickduo



Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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I left my grandparent's house who my grandfather was a massive alcoholic and that drove me round the bend my whole life until very recently am sick to death of alcohol and the thought of old family members who I don't give a shit about.
got 2beers for tomorrow ill have and try to enjoy them and then Christmas I'm going to have some wine maybe and that'll be the last of my alcohol consumption for a well long amount of time.
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