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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
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Registered: 10/16/18
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What 'humbled' you?
    #26378622 - 12/13/19 07:41 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I think we've all had that one trip that kind of really humbled us. Some crazy type of experience that showed us to tread lightly with these things. Doesn't have to be loss of self(even if that's what humbled you). Could have just been as little as a weird thought.. or maybe even a visual.

Please share any very strange memorable experience you have had that really stuck with you.. that may have had you put the mushrooms down for a bit. After my last experience, I've been very hesitant on taking them again because they humbled me to the point of being extremely grateful for my sanity. Haven't really wanted to take them again after that.

But, just had the thought today that I may just take them this weekend. I'll see how things pan out - was just wondering any experience you've encountered that may have made you weary about dosing again!

Not that it's a negative thing. Mine wasn't so much negative. It was more humbling and understanding that a clear and sane mind is such a beautiful thing that a lot of us take for granted. Most of the reason that we feel like we won't take them again for awhile is because we were taught a huge lesson and just needed to step the fuck back and integrate & let the fire cool down.

Share below!


--------------------
:greyalien:




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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26378748 - 12/13/19 09:04 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

My 3g experience a few months ago which was pretty disorienting has kept me away from doses larger than 1.5g (and it wasn't that bad I just haven't had the want to do it, until now :hehehe:)

However, I have been microdosing and I did take 1.5g for a Tool concert which was awesome. But I had a moment at the concert (before Tool started playing) where I peaked pretty hard and felt like I could hear every individual sound of the crowd (If you've ever seen the Bruce Almighty movie, it was exactly like when he couldn't stop the voices of all the people's prayers in his head from overwhelming him). In that moment I had a very brief "I need to get the fuck out of here moment" but I wasn't going to leave Tool if my limbs were being detached so I quickly calmed myself and ended up having a great experience.

And you gotta take that leap to 5g like you said :mushroom2: I want to read that trip report :cheers:


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Offlinefootpath
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Registered: 07/16/19
Posts: 1,367
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26378763 - 12/13/19 09:11 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I'd have to strongly agree with the feeling of relief when returning to your unadulterated state of mind.

I think it gets lost on a lot of people new to psychedelics - that we should take them as a way to expound upon our chemically-uninfluenced selves.
It seems that a lot of people, my younger self included, just can't wait for their next time on that other plane. And that gets abusive.

So I guess another humbling time for me was when a dose proper kicked my ass and didn't let me return to my clear and sane state of mind for many months after.
I think it was letting me know that I was abusing it.
And that, since I wasn't treasuring myself, it felt it could strip that of me.

I never appreciated myself more, once I made the arduous journey back to myself.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26378777 - 12/13/19 09:18 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Vibe_Enthusiast said:
I think we've all had that one trip that kind of really humbled us. Some crazy type of experience that showed us to tread lightly with these things. Doesn't have to be loss of self(even if that's what humbled you). Could have just been as little as a weird thought.. or maybe even a visual.

Please share any very strange memorable experience you have had that really stuck with you.. that may have had you put the mushrooms down for a bit. After my last experience, I've been very hesitant on taking them again because they humbled me to the point of being extremely grateful for my sanity. Haven't really wanted to take them again after that.

But, just had the thought today that I may just take them this weekend. I'll see how things pan out - was just wondering any experience you've encountered that may have made you weary about dosing again!

Not that it's a negative thing. Mine wasn't so much negative. It was more humbling and understanding that a clear and sane mind is such a beautiful thing that a lot of us take for granted. Most of the reason that we feel like we won't take them again for awhile is because we were taught a huge lesson and just needed to step the fuck back and integrate & let the fire cool down.

Share below!




Hey Vibe_Enthusiast,

Great post, I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from! How about a 28 year lay off! Had a really intense Liberty Cap experience at the end of the 80s when I was about 21. I will write up a proper trip report and get it on here for you guys to digest, but can’t be arsed at the moment! It;l take some effort! Anyway, to summarise, it wa a proper ego death, which I had no fore-knowledge of. Weren’t really on the internet then  so was pretty clueless on dose and what to expect. I went to the DMT place described in The Spirit Molecule - many of those taking part in that study reported a place like a waiting room for your energy , THAT WAS VERY FAMILIAR! But it’s scarred me for life, and even now am only slowly learning to let go properly in trips. I came back to shrooms to help with depression, after reading and watching loads of stuff on the internet about the research.

Anyway, that is not the trip I want to tell you about! Trips can humble you for many reasons. So recently had another intense Liberty Cap trip, but only about 3.6g dry (was many times that 30 years ago). So the following trip I went for 3.8g Psilocybe Cubensis B+. Trip report here.

What humbled me was the fact that the psychedelic gods / the mushroom  spirits were gentle with me. And the trip was awesome. I was infused with energy, and danced for bout 4 hours. With eyes closed I was with a multitude of beings, all one tribe, nd it felt tribal. We were on giant fairground style machinery, all swaying and dancing to the music. I was floating, upside down, completely 3D. Then I started to feel eternity. It overwhelmed me and I had to sit down for 5 minutes. Head in hands I started crying, overwhelmed with good emotions, maybe euphoria, and eternal gratitude that there are mushrooms to guide us. It is really hard to explain. It was like the mushrooms wanted to help me.

Hope this has added something. I will write that other,trip report too!

Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineCountHTML
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26378826 - 12/13/19 09:43 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Roughly 2 years ago I had a terrifying mushroom trip that changed the way I relate to and take mushrooms. I had been tripping about once per month for 6 months prior to this without any problems. All joyous, beautiful experiences. This one was different right from the start. There was just, this deep, deep undercurrent of fear and dread that wouldn’t go away. I was strapped on this terrifying ride for the greater part of four hours, all I could do was ride it out.

It’s like perfect existential terror. I suspect this type of trip signals deeper demolition of certain ego structures and the ego perceives this as horrifying. I say this because after this trip, a big chunk of who I thought I was simply wasn’t there anymore, and didn’t come back. Cold fear and signs of trauma hung around for about a year.

I wish I could conjure up more details right now to describe the trip more vividly. This experience was humbling, matured both me and my relationship to psychedelics. I now know where the experience can go, and I don’t believe anyone is immune. I think it’s a numbers game; out of one-hundred trips, some percentage of them is going to turn in that direction.


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OfflineSFS96
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: CountHTML]
    #26378856 - 12/13/19 09:56 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

35gs wet truffles + 20gs wet apes = scary ass humbling experience


--------------------
How I make and preserve tea


Consuming consumes a man That was never a purpose of life To only crave for material joys Is believing the lie - Mellow Mood


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: CountHTML]
    #26378891 - 12/13/19 10:08 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CountHTML said:
Cold fear and signs of trauma hung around for about a year.





How did you dig yourself out of that?


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Offlinewolf8312
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath]
    #26378909 - 12/13/19 10:15 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

My favorite trip of all was also my most intense in a purely psychedelic sense (psychotic break was the most terrorizing/damaging), and after that I became ridiculously careful with Anahuasca, and psychedelics in general.

Whereas before I was brewing up fistfuls of Chaliponga, after that I got a scale, and rarely went over about 3 grams of mimosa.

I would love to summon the courage to do go that deep again, as when I peaked and realized I was going to be okay it was truly, not merely the best trip of my life, but hands down one of the best/most significant experiences.

But hyperspace for that duration of time is a truly daunting prospect...


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"I'm every nightmare you ever had. I am your worst dreams come true. I am everything you ever were afraid of."

Pennywise the dancing clown



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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: CountHTML]
    #26378924 - 12/13/19 10:20 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CountHTML said:
It’s like perfect existential terror.

.You’ve just sent shivers down my spine countHTML! I think I get the existential fear every trip. I always do upwards of 3.3g dry PC. But sometimes the level just goes up and up. I often find myself changing rooms in the first hour, hour and a half, to not panic, and change something.   

I wish I could conjure up more details right now to describe the trip more vividly. This experience was humbling, matured both me and my relationship to psychedelics. I now know where the experience can go, and I don’t believe anyone is immune. I think it’s a numbers game; out of one-hundred trips, some percentage of them is going to turn in that direction.

.  Im doing all my trips alone these days, nd somehow I reckon this makes it easier to handle the fear and the anxiety nd the existential dread, and somehow easier to just let go. The type of trip you get never seems to be logical, by that I mean, you can never predict a trip! 
   




Take care all,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineThe Mycologist
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26378926 - 12/13/19 10:21 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I was most humbled when I saw someone else be torn apart by acid


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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Offlinefootpath
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Registered: 07/16/19
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: The Mycologist]
    #26378961 - 12/13/19 10:38 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Acid, almost certainly LSD, is what tore myself from me.
I mean, really I was what tore myself from me. But the acid was a really good catalyst.

Mushrooms have roughed me up from time to time, but they always let me off easy.


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OfflineCountHTML
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #26378963 - 12/13/19 10:38 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I experimented with various forms of self administered psychotherapy for the course of a year and seemed to triangulate on a solution. I knew that trauma is the result of an event happening to us which is beyond our ability to cope or make sense of. So, I made sense of the experience. I wrote about it. I tried to accommodate/assimilate the experience into my broader worldview. I was lucky enough at the time to have very close friends, quasi family, who I tripped with frequently who I could talk to about it and be received with empathy and understanding. Genuine empathy from others is very, very healing.

I also happen to have spiritual practice and follow a tantric tradition which provides a context for this type of thing. A friend recommended a book by Robert Anton Wilson called The Cosmic Trigger and suggested that I had blown a huge part of my ego to smithereens and that I was basically in what he dubs “chapel perilous,” a place of spooky metaphorical entities, uncertainty and radical agnosticism about the reality of anything. It was a useful framework for me even if maps aren’t the territory. But the fear, the entities, what do you do? Laugh at them. You keep doing so until the phenomena clear.

What I was ultimately left with was tougher skin and increased insight into the nature of trauma though arguably my case was light. I don’t regret this odyssey though I would not haven chosen it. But hey, such is what it is to be a psychonaut. Sometimes we sign up for things without realizing what it entails, but we look back with that subtle warmth knowing that the adventure, the truly strange is something we love.


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Offlinefootpath
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: CountHTML] * 1
    #26378998 - 12/13/19 10:53 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like we had a similar, most profound and earth-shattering existential crisis.

Mine was largely relieved over the course of about a year with breathing, meditation, exercise, and incremental exposure to society.

I explored the practices of Wudang Taoism and Shaolin Buddhism. Martial/Spiritual/Medicinal.

I got out into nature - A Lot. I did reckless endurance practices like biking as far as I could with just the clothes on my back or going up the Appalachian with only a few granola bars for sustenance. It was really dumb and I would never advise anyone do similar. But it absolutely helped me to reconnect with reality. See fears bigger than those my mind could create.

And then, as plain as it may sound, I got a job in retail. It took me a long time of being the super weird and quiet guy with a shaggy beard but, after a few months, the constant exposure to all the weird sheeple of the world made me really grasp that I wasn't so lost anymore. At least not in comparison to everyone else.


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Offlinegrati
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath]
    #26379009 - 12/13/19 11:00 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

footpath said:
Acid, almost certainly LSD, is what tore myself from me.
I mean, really I was what tore myself from me. But the acid was a really good catalyst.

Mushrooms have roughed me up from time to time, but they always let me off easy.




Eat more :wink:


--------------------
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind


:trippinballs: Candyflipping :omgawesome:


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Offlinefootpath
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: grati]
    #26379032 - 12/13/19 11:10 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

The more I take, the easier it gets.
Most of the turbulent mushroom trips I've had were mid-range.


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OfflineThe Mycologist
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath]
    #26379107 - 12/13/19 11:55 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Yea I agree. The more I go on I think high dose acid is just bad. It can be easier for low doses, but high doses just frys you. Shrooms take me there but it doesnt feel as hard on my body.

Hard to describe. But Im on team shroom


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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Offlineermine
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26379109 - 12/13/19 11:57 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I was humbled after 10 years off these things, and revisited.  I thought I knew everything and had a spiritual outlook on life that was judgmental of other people.  That got blown out the window with some nice fungus...much happier since.


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OfflineCountHTML
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: ermine]
    #26379120 - 12/13/19 12:04 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, haha my hell trip was on 3 grams. I had taken up to 6 grams prior without any problems, wonderful heavy experiences. The bad one had a different vibe and quality altogether.


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OfflineAshamedPakiHenna
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: CountHTML]
    #26379195 - 12/13/19 12:44 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

my mom's genetics


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OfflineNature Boy
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath] * 1
    #26379272 - 12/13/19 01:26 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

footpath said:
Acid, almost certainly LSD, is what tore myself from me.
I mean, really I was what tore myself from me. But the acid was a really good catalyst.

Mushrooms have roughed me up from time to time, but they always let me off easy.




:whathesaid:

For my answer, here is a "cut and paste" from my 2013 interview by Learyfan.  The event itself happened circa 1970, nearly 50 years ago.  There's more, but here is the core of it:


Q: What was your worst drug experience?

A: No doubt about that one.  Picked up ten tabs of Orange Sunshine from the house of a girl in my high school.  Took one out of the foil, and swallowed it (no water) as I neared the park where I intended to spend my time listening to a band shell concert.  I was alone. Less than 15 minutes later, I was already DEEP in trouble.  As I walked across the grassy field towards the band shell, the blades of grass started singing.  SINGING!!!!!  My flip flops looked twelve feet away, and the lawn was waving like the deep Atlantic after a hurricane.  I remember making the executive decision to go back to the car and cower in the rear seat until things settled down.  The last thing I remember is looking up through the rear window of the car, and seeing the tree limbs come alive and reach down towards the car for my soul.

Some time, many hours later, in a place many miles from the park, I walked up to the house of a complete stranger simply because the door was open (there was a screen door) and the outside light was on.  A woman answered the knock or the bell.  I handed her my wallet and asked her to please tell me who I was.  Suffice it to say, the husband came out to talk to me, and the police were called.  The male homeowner was very nice to me.  So was the cop who showed up, who I did not even recognize as law enforcement.

Apparently, because I was clean cut looking, young, and respectful, the cop called my dad.  Because I had our only car, they had to borrow a neighbors car, and my dad AND mom had to come, since both cars needed to be driven away.

Anyway, I had zero interaction with my mother, who was sent home immediately with the neighbors car.  I was told by the nice officer I had to leave with the ANGRY man (my father, whom I also did not recognize).  I did NOT want to go with him.  He was so angry and MEAN.  Why did I have to go with HIM???  Anyway, I got driven to an area hospital ER close to our home by the angry man.  The nice cop had given the angry man the other 9 tabs of Orange Sunshine to give to the hospital doctor so they would know what I’d taken.  I had told him they were in the glove compartment since he was so nice.

I spent the next few hours watching the green and white ER curtains wave, and when I was finally recovered enough to recognize my dad, I was allowed to leave.  The acid was left with the ER doctor(s).  For months my parents treated me like a criminal and a pariah.  Every time I came or went I was scrutinized.  My room was repeatedly searched.  Fast forward about three months.  I’m laying in bed in my underwear sleeping.  Cops (detectives, actually) bust into my house with a warrant.  I was charged with possession of LSD and cuffed face down in my bed in my underwear.  Having taken so much shit from my parents, this was the last straw.  I told the “pig” I wasn’t in possession of anything, I was in my fucking UNDERWEAR!  As they marched me down the stairs I was singing “Have you seen the little piggies, in their starched white shirts”...

Needless to say they cuffed me HARD, bent over in the back seat of the cruiser for the ride to be booked and fingerprinted.  My dad (furious again) hired a lawyer and got the whole thing dismissed.  There was nothing linking me (the chain of evidence had been broken when the cop gave the ‘cid to my dad, who gave it to the ER who later gave it to the cops) to the LSD, so other than dad having to pay a lawyer, I got off scott free.  No record whatsoever as I was given a youthful offender unconditional discharge.  Records were completely expunged one year later.


--------------------
All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies.  Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit.  Note well:  Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend.  If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.

                                                                               


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OfflineThe Mycologist
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Nature Boy]
    #26379282 - 12/13/19 01:31 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

So are you on the shroom squad now?


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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OfflineNature Boy
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: The Mycologist]
    #26379290 - 12/13/19 01:34 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

The Mycologist said:
So are you on the shroom squad now?




Not sure what that means.  All I can say is that LSD (on two occasions) took me farther and "humbled me" more than any dose of mushrooms I have taken to date.  The second time LSD did it was June of this year, while I was in Sedona, AZ.

You can find that report in the Trip Reports repository.  If you can't, I'll edit and post a link.


--------------------
All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies.  Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit.  Note well:  Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend.  If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.

                                                                               


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Invisibleacidgoofy
Freak


Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 192
Loc: Germany
Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath] * 1
    #26379315 - 12/13/19 01:58 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

when I did 5 grams I was kind of underestimating the power/intelligence of the divine and it paralyzed me for a few seconds

it showed me I know nothing and dont have any control


--------------------
“What you seek is seeking you” Rumi


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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: acidgoofy] * 1
    #26380695 - 12/14/19 06:05 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

What great replies! I'm glad everyone has had their one type of experience that "set them straight". And for the ones that dont have that story, will one day:lol:

I have yet to take 5g. I've been playing around the 4/4.5g range. My last trip was on 4.5g and I was working my way up to 5g slowly.. but after that exp I think I'm going to take 4g and see what happens from there. Scared me off a bit.. in the best of ways.


--------------------
:greyalien:




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OfflineAldebaran
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26381996 - 12/14/19 07:49 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Some crazy type of experience that showed us to tread lightly with these things.




My first ever trip was on a low dose of liberty caps, which was all good. My second trip was on acid. I was 17 at the time.

The trip itself wasn't 'bad' and I don't think the dose was especially high, but I got confused, separated from my friends and started to experience the crazy side of psychedelics while outside, alone and inexperienced.

I was wandering around a village / small town without my shoes on, talking to myself, becoming delusional. I thought an electrical transformer was the source of all the ideas in the universe. I tried to stop time by taking my watch off and putting it in the back of someone's pickup truck. I was knocking on random doors as if was perfectly normal to do this late at night. In fact this story has some parallels with the one Nature Boy tells - the people that answered the door were more confused than angry when I politely asked if I could come in.

Inevitably the police were called and I ended up tripping inside a police cell until my Dad came to pick me up. A trip report describing this experience was my first post on the Shroomery - Burned by Acid Rain – My one and only LSD trip

It wasn't a terrible experience; despite the chaos I felt strangely relaxed through the whole thing, but when I started tripping again (13 years later as it turned out) I always had that trip in the back of my mind as an example of what can happen when you bite off more than you can chew, or the setting isn't good.

:aweoverdose::awecid::aweoverdose:

For a humbling experience, one of the most remorselessly intense trips I had was on 30g of potent sclerotia (equivalent to maybe 5 or 6 grams of dry cubes).

By this time I'd become used to writing in a trip journal during my trips and these are some of the comments during the onset:

Quote:


When you are awake and asleep at the same time. When you lose your sense of self and you are everywhere.

You want to fall asleep and you close your eyes and you try to hold the pen and you are falling through yourself.

This drug twists your entire mental state.

Everything convulses within itself.

Hallucinations so strong you have to check you are still in possession of your remaining teeth

I feel dangerous and delusional. The feeling of going crazy

Complete sensory jumble. A need to fall asleep within my hallucination. I feel punished. I do not enjoy this

I give in to this because there is no alternative. The evil God that lurks within my hallucinations. I am falling into a dangerous hallucination.

I see bones. Frameworks of bones. Bones everywhere. The stuff of nightmare. A TV that is switched off and transmits awfulness. Driving persecution on all channels. Wires in my brain.

Christ on a bike this is awful.

The poison from within. The curing from without.

I cannot handle this and I need to fall asleep.

I pray for release from the devils which torment me. Never again. This is 16 shades of hell.

We fought monsters in the deep ocean. We are terrified. I am falling into the hell I foresee.

There is more. Lost cities and fallen hopes. The metaphysics of catastrophe





:myfaceismelting:

At that point the peak hits and overwhelms me. This is the kind of onset where you get that oppressive feeling of imminent doom, and you stare into the walls which have shifted from white to a glowing yellowy-green, and you know the trip will get worse before it gets better. The "need to sleep" is probably a sign that I would have been better off lying down and just surrendering to the trip, but I was too scared.

I described this feeling once as "The punishment that comes from within" and it is not pleasant. It was like facing the wrath of God, and by the time I returned to my senses I felt as though I had been judged by God, shown what would happen at my death and then allowed to come back. Something like that.

After going into the peak in a state of fear and delusional paranoia, I come out of it in a state of mania with grandiose delusions, evidently thinking I have become God. The writing in the trip journal then continues:

Quote:


God says: Die whenever you want

Play God. You will understand.

I say: Play God
I say: Play God
That is your homework, you idle cunt

God says: You better hope that your God dies before you do. But he won't. I'll see to that.

The greatest hallucination of them all --> Death

If you ever wake up, it's bad news. I have unfinished business.

God says: There is only 1 universe and there are no instructions. Sorry. I was busy





:sunstone:

And so on. It's hard to know what to make of this kind of trip. It's as if the process of picking up the pieces after obliterating myself goes too far - I start to think that the universe only exists inside my head, leading to a form of solipsism and the conclusion that I must be God. It feels like a burden, a job, a problem that needs solving, a mindfuck that doesn't let go until the trip starts to calm down.

On the back of the exercise book I was writing in, it says:

Quote:


New improved 100% better universe contained within





which I must have written after I'd filled both sides of the other 36 pages with writing that gets bigger the more insane it gets.

I have experienced versions of this trip several times, sometimes with less fear but usually ending with some version of the "I am God!" routine.

The humbling thing was to go through it and than have to admit that almost the whole experience is completely insane and delusional, but there was something interesting happening that I wanted to understand and so I kept going back to the same place until I felt as if I had explored it a bit more.

Write until you go insane and then keep writing. That's just how I roll :lol:

:scaryshroom: :owl: :raptorJesus:


--------------------
I wrote that, but I meant something else


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OfflineLoaded Shaman
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26382519 - 12/15/19 01:34 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

My last moderate dose pan cyan trip kicked my metaphysical ass into a new gear :cool:.


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"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius


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OfflineNature Boy
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26382648 - 12/15/19 04:54 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

WOW, Aldebaran!  That is an excellent tale, very well written up.  Glad you had no legal consequences.


--------------------
All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies.  Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit.  Note well:  Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend.  If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.

                                                                               


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Invisiblenulls
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Nature Boy]
    #26383289 - 12/15/19 12:31 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Some intense stories here! Maybe I just haven't tripped hard enough, but I feel like the most humbling aspect of tripping has been accepting truth when it conflicts with your former framework of beliefs. My most difficult trip was simply where I was trapped with a father like figure that forced me to forgive people that I was bitter against, but that wasn't the most humbling. The most humbling aspect has been realizing that I don't believe in the bible anymore, when it was formerly my roadmap to life since 5 years of age (now in my 40s). It has taken me almost a year to accept it fully. To discover you've been doing it all wrong and caused harm and hurt isn't easy to accept, but thankfully now I am no longer enforcing those damaging patterns.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: nulls]
    #26383419 - 12/15/19 02:15 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

nulls said:
Some intense stories here! Maybe I just haven't tripped hard enough, but I feel like the most humbling aspect of tripping has been accepting truth when it conflicts with your former framework of beliefs. My most difficult trip was simply where I was trapped with a father like figure that forced me to forgive people that I was bitter against, but that wasn't the most humbling. The most humbling aspect has been realizing that I don't believe in the bible anymore, when it was formerly my roadmap to life since 5 years of age (now in my 40s). It has taken me almost a year to accept it fully. To discover you've been doing it all wrong and caused harm and hurt isn't easy to accept, but thankfully now I am no longer enforcing those damaging patterns.




I was brought up in a very strict religious background. Church every Sunday. Mushrooms taught me the same as you, and I no longer trust the bible. However, I would say they have confirmed there is a god, maybe just not a god that is sold to us by the 4,300+ religions!

Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26383585 - 12/15/19 03:45 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

knowing im able to chat freely and bring light to people having not a worry whilst being comfartable in my skin which im not for obvious reasons being in a bad shape.

only purpose ive now isto relax which im never able to do if im sitting down its not possible for me to sit, only time i was humble is at the shops today there was no issue's. thank god.


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OfflineHolyBolete
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Cujllickduo] * 1
    #26384452 - 12/16/19 03:10 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

One humbling experience was being launched into a tunnel with some of my beliefs that no longer serve me. Almost being directly tied to trauma. It felt like going to court in the sense that my belief system was on trial and was being challenged one by one. Felt like a chemical rewiring was happening during this experience.


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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: HolyBolete]
    #26384534 - 12/16/19 05:50 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

A lot of you are speaking of your beliefs. I'm curious as to what changed. Were you guys church-goers & came to an understanding that, that's not how it is? Or a full blown atheist that now believes in a God or 'higher power'?

I myself, am in limbo. I will not say theres a god, nor will I say there's a God.. because I don't know. Same as talking about life other than us out in the universe. We can assume so.. but we don't know for sure.

Regardless, whatever we are living in is a magical creation. We're living in an infinity which always blows my fucking mind. But then thats always got me thinking.. what makes us so special? Are we just lucky? Is there a different type of "life" out there.

Not alien life.. but just a different type of life. Heard to explain. But how we have these belief systems and  cultural & political views blah blah.. I'm talking about a whole different type of conscious being thats in sync with infinity & understands it.

Who fucking knows lmao. Kinda getting into the rabbit hole. But I was just wondering what has changed on your guys behalf of your belief system.

:cheers:


--------------------
:greyalien:




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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26384624 - 12/16/19 07:56 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Vibe_Enthusiast said:
A lot of you are speaking of your beliefs. I'm curious as to what changed. Were you guys church-goers & came to an understanding that, that's not how it is? Or a full blown atheist that now believes in a God or 'higher power'?

I myself, am in limbo. I will not say theres a god, nor will I say there's a God.. because I don't know. Same as talking about life other than us out in the universe. We can assume so.. but we don't know for sure.

Regardless, whatever we are living in is a magical creation. We're living in an infinity which always blows my fucking mind. But then thats always got me thinking.. what makes us so special? Are we just lucky? Is there a different type of "life" out there.

Not alien life.. but just a different type of life. Heard to explain. But how we have these belief systems and  cultural & political views blah blah.. I'm talking about a whole different type of conscious being thats in sync with infinity & understands it.

Who fucking knows lmao. Kinda getting into the rabbit hole. But I was just wondering what has changed on your guys behalf of your belief system.

:cheers:




What changed for me:

Spiritually
I was a militant atheist beforehand. After my first and most transcendent experience, that slowly dissolved away from me. I'm still an atheist in regards to the Judeo-Christian religions (I believe that they are a form of control) but I'm no longer on the offensive.
I consider myself a "spiritual" atheist. Not that this label means anything beyond the fact that it is to separate me from the materialistic atheists. I believe that there is more to this world, reality and beyond than we can understand. I think its naive to think there is "one" God who takes the form of a "human like figure" and condemns everyone who doesn't follow one specific religion. Perhaps there is a singular entity of origin but it is unlike anything a human can conceive. Or there are an infinite amount of deities. Perhaps the Earth is sentient.
Whatever the case may be, I now believe that there exists realms beyond the material that play an important, if not the most important, role in our existence.

Philosophically (Similar as above)
I have a degree in Philosophy so a lot of my views were shaped by the particular classes I took (almost indoctrinated in a sense). My philosophical belief was rather empirical and materialistic (as stated above) although I preferred texts of the more "literary" philosophers (I always thought true philosophy came from stories rather than the purely analytical texts). Nonetheless the dominating field of philosophy where I studied was the analytic side and this shaped how I interacted with the world. After my first trip I dropped the whole thing. I now believe that just because something cannot be verified or epistemically validated does not dismiss its validity. I believe that the scope of contemporary western philosophy lacks the motivation (and perhaps is afraid) to delve into the uniquely subjective psychedelic experience. So my philosophical reality moved from an objective one to a subjective one.


Emotionally
I'm more emotionally stable because my cynical beliefs melted away. I used to believe in hard determinism and that made me pretty cynical. I still believe that prior causal factors influence who we are and what happens but I believe that there is maneuverability within that space (that psychedelics somewhat remove one from the determined space for a brief period). This gave me the belief that we truly can change and that we have some dimension of free will.


Anyway, I'm still early into my overall psychedelic experiences so all of this can change. The ultimate belief that I've acquired from my trips thus far is that my beliefs are very malleable and that I need to be open to new things, irregardless of my current beliefs.


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Offlinefootpath
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26384722 - 12/16/19 09:06 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I hold some regret for how far I travelled with psychedelics before maturing more.
By 17, when I had my truly catastrophic experience, I had already lost count of how many times I'd tripped and exactly how many things I had tripped on.
I didn't hold much reverence to the true spirituality that psychedelics harbored. And I didn't hold any reverence to myself and the value of my own life.
So, in a respect, I owe just about everything to them. I'd have probably seen myself off, were it not for the appreciative perspectives that I gained from their influence.
But I do have a persistent curiosity of the trajectory my beliefs may have taken, had I abstained.

I'll echo the malleability and openness. Sometimes it's a little too malleable.
It could almost be seen as a sort of purgatory that I find myself in.
Blissfully ambivalent.
Without alignment.
Sometimes I have to pry morality out of myself,
but, at the same time, I hold just about everything precious.
Terminal lost meaning to me because I see everything as having a resonance - every thing, every moment, leaves an impression to be admired.
Simultaneously, nothing is ever precious and everything is always precious.

It may seem confused or fickle, but really, it just let me have a genuine sense of being.
The comfort that being is all that really matters.
Letting life happen.
That we experience is more god than all the skybeards combined. But those skybeards, too, are part of the experience.
This, here, present is far more important than anything before or after. But looking back or forward, too, is part of now.

It's all amazing. Every bit of the cosmos. Pain, love, death, birth, nebulae, pollution, disease, mirrors, torture, litter boxes, momentum... whatever it is. Not one bit of it isn't spectacular. I have psychedelics to thank for that view.


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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath]
    #26389191 - 12/18/19 05:18 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I grew up in the church and going to christian schools so it was ingrained from the beginning. Went to church multiple times a week, went on mission trips, and traveled performing music as a family. It was a very fear based teaching and home life was anything but christian so that was the first issue. What chipped away at my faith was first that I'm inquisitive and break everything down to see how things work. This brought me to study the bible, which it was clear, I was lost and lying when I said I believed, because my actions proved otherwise. I always struggled, because I tried to live up to the ideal, but fell so short that I made the faith look bad. I was the kid that would impulsively say "fuck" in the middle of a prayer, and was obviously demon possessed. So, I began to believe that I was going to hell. I'm sort of a glutton for punishing myself, so I rolled with it until it nearly destroyed me. Desperation led me to mushies for answers, and that caused me to question the character and nature of a god that intentionally made 'flawed' creatures that he intended to torture forever. Before mushies, faith turned my brain off when i came to questioning god or his word. I realized that god was a tyrannical monster, not a loving and merciful god that he claimed to be. Even with flawed human understanding, none of us that have any semblance of love would torture 10 minutes, never mind forever because that's so beyond excessive it boggles the mind. Therefor I cannot believe the bible. I guess I would have to classify myself as agnostic now because as a numbers guy, the odds are against evolution's success, but I also have no evidence to prove otherwise. If I had to answer one or the other instead of waffling, I'd say that there is possibly a creator or designer but not necessarily a god.


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OfflineTurvenuija
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: nulls]
    #26391674 - 12/19/19 11:03 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Having a 3g trip by myself on my bed my brain absolutely froze after the come up and I couldn't move a muscle until the peak had passed. My thoughts were stuck and I had a single six pointed star shape visible in the center of my view even with eyes open. It wasn't too bad but I realized psychedelics aren't always fun as they had been until that point. I started respecting the mushroom a little more.

Holy moly Aldebaran that's a hell of a story.


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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26391688 - 12/19/19 11:22 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

What humbled me was a 8+gram ride I took a while back. During this trip I relived some of the really fucked up shit I have done to people in the past. My empathy gauge was redlined and I laid in the floor and sopped uncontrollably. Freaked the wife out. A part of me wanted to get some things off of my chest, luckily I had some of my wits about me and I kept my mouth closed. Some things are better left in the past.


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InvisibleBlue_Lux
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Antigov] * 1
    #26391703 - 12/19/19 11:43 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

What humbled me was my first psychedelic experience, which was 25c nbome, at 1000μg. This was an insane experience. I was flying through a void in my room the lights were off and I was surrounded by hieroglyphic geometry in neon-like lights. I felt as if I hadn't even been in my room before. That is where I get the name Blue Lux for blue light. I thought I wouldnt remember it so i remember jotting so many things down, especially "dont take this again." Lol. It was terrifying but extraordinary. I felt as if I knew nothing about anything and my who le life was taken from me, put in front of me and shown to me. What I was was nothing and everything at the same time. I was convinced I could never come back to a normal reality, one that would go day to day. It was as if the present moment lasted so long. I went down these spiral loops of thoughts bouncing and connecting like gears to other thoughts, and it was as if i was the connecting force, which I could literally see and feel all around me. I was it. It was absolutely incredible. The next day I had to go to catholic church! My father came to my room and when he turned the hall light on I was mesmerized but I somehow got dressed and put some sunglasses on and went to church. The marble floors turned to an ocean and the flowers were changing colors at the altar. By that time it was coming down but I will never forget those moments. There was one moment in the chaos I glimpsed my face in dim light coming from the moon and also from a few multicolored lights coming from a sound system I had and in that face was this incredible realization. I said "is that me?" "Oh my god that is me!" I felt an expanse within myself I didn't know existed and to this day words can never express that experience, the intricate geometry and dozens of epiphanies in wordless conceptions. If there was some way i could just put it in words... i remember saying that. I tried to write something down but when the ink came onto the paper and started running around and twisting and popping I couldn't even get two words down. This humbled me so much, as I was before quite materialistic and superficial. After this experience I found myself desperate to read philosophy and poetry and find more about the mind. It was without doubt one of the most important things that ever happened to me.


--------------------
I the music, not the bling
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𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱
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  LXIVAMOR 
Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.


Edited by Blue_Lux (12/19/19 11:51 PM)


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InvisibleBlue_Lux
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #26391708 - 12/19/19 11:49 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I feel so divided philosophically. Part of me wants to adhere to strict reason and epistemological varifications and logical constructions, but you are right, the psychedelic experience just doesn't make sense philosophically, without resorting to metaphysics, which modern philosophy simply disdains. I think this is so unfortunate, because what happens within the psychedelic experience, if you take enough or are perhaps lucky enough, is just beyond words. I cannot explain it. That is why I have "Curae leues locuntur, ingentes stupent" in my signature as well. It means, "Trivial concerns talk, great ones are speechless." From Seneca the Younger, Phaedra.


Edited by Blue_Lux (12/20/19 12:24 AM)


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OfflineLoaded Shaman
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Blue_Lux]
    #26391773 - 12/20/19 01:06 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Blue_Lux said:
I feel so divided philosophically. Part of me wants to adhere to strict reason and epistemological varifications and logical constructions, but you are right, the psychedelic experience just doesn't make sense philosophically, without resorting to metaphysics, which modern philosophy simply disdains. I think this is so unfortunate, because what happens within the psychedelic experience, if you take enough or are perhaps lucky enough, is just beyond words. I cannot explain it. That is why I have "Curae leues locuntur, ingentes stupent" in my signature as well. It means, "Trivial concerns talk, great ones are speechless." From Seneca the Younger, Phaedra.




Great post I'm going to send you a PM to go a bit deeper; you actually sound like you understand how philosophy works! :cool:


--------------------



"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius


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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Loaded Shaman]
    #26391880 - 12/20/19 04:34 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I took an ‘impulse’ rip of some salvia a friend had made for me and thought I died, it doesn’t sound intense but it was as serious as it gets.  When I was dead the weirdest thing happened, I could see my mind and it was my name spelled out.  Like right now we’re ‘in’ our minds, middle center, you know?  Well I rose above mine and looked down on it and I could see it was my name spelled out.  I eventually ended up back on my bed feeling like I had just survived taking a shell point blank to my face, real as it gets, and as I sat there something came to mind.

Rev 3:5 - 'He who overcomes will thus be clothed in white garments; and I will not erase his name from the book of life, and I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.

It added a new context to these verses that refer to the book of life and having your ‘name’ written into it.

I’ve had the ones where you’re relieved to get back to the point where language makes sense and you have a new appreciation of your ‘boring’ sober mind and I’ve had the ones where right from the start you’re going against the grain and it can’t wear off quick enough even though it hasn’t even really kicked in yet.  Horrible anxiety and fear, where you feel like you’re a terrible person for how you’ve conducted yourself.  The whole 9, obviously you guys know what I’m talking about.  But that salvia rip was something else, it takes 1st place for me..


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
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Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineAldebaran
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast] * 1
    #26392609 - 12/20/19 03:00 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

A lot of you are speaking of your beliefs. I'm curious as to what changed.




The post above yours expresses something I've often felt during trips at higher doses:

Quote:

HolyBolete wrote It felt like going to court in the sense that my belief system was on trial and was being challenged one by one




You could call it "the fear", a deep sense of dread. For me it was connected to a kind of metaphysical shock - coming from a more materialist / atheist position and then suddenly getting a strong sense of a 'higher power' from within the trip. Huxley mentions this feeling in The Doors of Perception:

Quote:

The literature of religious experience abounds in references to the pains and terrors overwhelming those who have come, too suddenly, face to face with some manifestation of the Mysterium Tremendum. In theological language, this fear is due to the incompatibility between man's egotism and the divine purity, between man's self-aggravated separateness and the infinity of God




Or in non-theological language - FUCK! Time to start praying...

:raptorJesus: :owl: :trippindude:

The idea of the Mysterium Tremendum is connected to the concept of the numinous

Numinous: "derived from the Latin numen meaning "arousing spiritual or religious emotion; mysterious or awe-inspiring""

Mysterium Tremendum: "a mystery (Latin: mysterium) that is at once terrifying (tremendum) and fascinating (fascinans)"

The C.S. Lewis quote from that Wikipedia page explains it quite well:

Quote:


Suppose you were told there was a tiger in the next room: you would know that you were in danger and would probably feel fear. But if you were told "There is a ghost in the next room," and believed it, you would feel, indeed, what is often called fear, but of a different kind. It would not be based on the knowledge of danger, for no one is primarily afraid of what a ghost may do to him, but of the mere fact that it is a ghost. It is "uncanny" rather than dangerous, and the special kind of fear it excites may be called Dread. With the Uncanny one has reached the fringes of the Numinous.

Now suppose that you were told simply "There is a mighty spirit in the room," and believed it. Your feelings would then be even less like the mere fear of danger: but the disturbance would be profound. You would feel wonder and a certain shrinking—a sense of inadequacy to cope with such a visitant and of prostration before it—an emotion which might be expressed in Shakespeare's words "Under it my genius is rebuked." This feeling may be described as awe, and the object which excites it as the Numinous.





With psychedelics, it can feel as though there is some "powerful spirit" not just in the same room as you, but inside your head...

That skin-crawling feeling of judgement, a powerful sense of wrongness, that everything you thought you knew is deeply, horribly wrong...

Over the course of a trip you can have your existing belief system shattered, to be replaced by the outlandish 'revelations' of your trip, then at some point you realize that you are inside a deep rabbit hole of pure insanity, and you end up back where you started, with a feeling that beliefs are not things to be entirely trusted at all.

:scaryshroom:

One of the more persistent 'messages' of shroom trips always seems to be along the lines that consciousness is more fundamental to reality than 'matter', that there is some greater realm of consciousness out there which you are coming into contact with. I expressed it like this in another thread -

Quote:

the physical realm no longer seems to be the primary reality... There seems to be a core of consciousness that can survive anything... there is a world beyond death where your consciousness will be transformed and combined into something greater, something unfathomably powerful




This has some similarity with the idea of perennialism which Wikipedia sums up as:

Quote:


a perspective in spirituality that views all of the world's religious traditions as sharing a single, metaphysical truth or origin from which all esoteric and exoteric knowledge and doctrine has grown.




This feeling of a "metaphysical truth" suddenly revealing itself during a trip is enough to make you pause, and reconsider the comfortable certainty of your background assumptions and beliefs.

In a non-spiritual type of trip, it can feel as though you have come across some kind of 'matrix' underlying reality, which causes Philip K Dick levels of doubt about just how real everything is. Even moderate doses of psychedelics are enough to make you question reality, perception, consciousness.

Quote:

We're living in an infinity which always blows my fucking mind.




:raisemyglass:

To be honest, whatever you believe in, reality is very weird, to put it mildly!

:aliceshocker:


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OfflineAldebaran
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Blue_Lux]
    #26392644 - 12/20/19 03:31 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:


I felt an expanse within myself I didn't know existed and to this day words can never express that experience, the intricate geometry and dozens of epiphanies in wordless conceptions. If there was some way i could just put it in words





I think you express it well :thumbup:

:sunstone:

Quote:


I feel so divided philosophically. Part of me wants to adhere to strict reason and epistemological varifications and logical constructions, but you are right, the psychedelic experience just doesn't make sense philosophically, without resorting to metaphysics, which modern philosophy simply disdains.





I think it can help if you reject the idea that you need to believe in one particular thing and be absolutely certain about it. The default position in philosophy is skepticism; the recognition that there is no certainty about anything, even your own stance of skepticism. Traditional religion usually operates along the lines of 'believe this, or else!" but this is a very narrow way of thinking.

You can 'inhabit' various viewpoints without having to commit to any particular one, and without having to be utterly credulous about every half-baked conspiracy theory.

If you start a trip as a materialist there's no reason you can't temporarily flip to another more mystical or spiritual viewpoint if it takes over during the trip; it makes the trip a lot easier to handle.

:busytripping:

Metaphysics still has a role in philosophy - despite the primacy of physics as a way of understanding reality, there are plenty of philosophical questions about what physics tells us, and what it can't tell us.

I still have my copy of Metaphysics: The Big Questions which is a cheap introductory text (full of different essays on various topics) if you get a 2nd hand copy of the original edition - I don't think the fundamental nature of reality has changed since it was first published!


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