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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 29 days, 4 hours
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So are you on the shroom squad now?
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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Nature Boy
Stranger than most



Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 8,241
Loc: Samsara
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
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Quote:
The Mycologist said: So are you on the shroom squad now?
Not sure what that means. All I can say is that LSD (on two occasions) took me farther and "humbled me" more than any dose of mushrooms I have taken to date. The second time LSD did it was June of this year, while I was in Sedona, AZ.
You can find that report in the Trip Reports repository. If you can't, I'll edit and post a link.
-------------------- All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies. Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit. Note well: Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend. If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.
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acidgoofy
Freak


Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 192
Loc: Germany
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath] 1
#26379315 - 12/13/19 01:58 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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when I did 5 grams I was kind of underestimating the power/intelligence of the divine and it paralyzed me for a few seconds
it showed me I know nothing and dont have any control
-------------------- “What you seek is seeking you” Rumi
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Vibe_Enthusiast
Mushroom Technician



Registered: 10/16/18
Posts: 2,420
Loc: GPS signal lost..
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: acidgoofy] 1
#26380695 - 12/14/19 06:05 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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What great replies! I'm glad everyone has had their one type of experience that "set them straight". And for the ones that dont have that story, will one day
I have yet to take 5g. I've been playing around the 4/4.5g range. My last trip was on 4.5g and I was working my way up to 5g slowly.. but after that exp I think I'm going to take 4g and see what happens from there. Scared me off a bit.. in the best of ways.
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Aldebaran
Psilo-Scribe



Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Altered States of Europe
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Quote:
Some crazy type of experience that showed us to tread lightly with these things.
My first ever trip was on a low dose of liberty caps, which was all good. My second trip was on acid. I was 17 at the time.
The trip itself wasn't 'bad' and I don't think the dose was especially high, but I got confused, separated from my friends and started to experience the crazy side of psychedelics while outside, alone and inexperienced.
I was wandering around a village / small town without my shoes on, talking to myself, becoming delusional. I thought an electrical transformer was the source of all the ideas in the universe. I tried to stop time by taking my watch off and putting it in the back of someone's pickup truck. I was knocking on random doors as if was perfectly normal to do this late at night. In fact this story has some parallels with the one Nature Boy tells - the people that answered the door were more confused than angry when I politely asked if I could come in.
Inevitably the police were called and I ended up tripping inside a police cell until my Dad came to pick me up. A trip report describing this experience was my first post on the Shroomery - Burned by Acid Rain – My one and only LSD trip
It wasn't a terrible experience; despite the chaos I felt strangely relaxed through the whole thing, but when I started tripping again (13 years later as it turned out) I always had that trip in the back of my mind as an example of what can happen when you bite off more than you can chew, or the setting isn't good.
  
For a humbling experience, one of the most remorselessly intense trips I had was on 30g of potent sclerotia (equivalent to maybe 5 or 6 grams of dry cubes).
By this time I'd become used to writing in a trip journal during my trips and these are some of the comments during the onset:
Quote:
When you are awake and asleep at the same time. When you lose your sense of self and you are everywhere.
You want to fall asleep and you close your eyes and you try to hold the pen and you are falling through yourself.
This drug twists your entire mental state.
Everything convulses within itself.
Hallucinations so strong you have to check you are still in possession of your remaining teeth
I feel dangerous and delusional. The feeling of going crazy
Complete sensory jumble. A need to fall asleep within my hallucination. I feel punished. I do not enjoy this
I give in to this because there is no alternative. The evil God that lurks within my hallucinations. I am falling into a dangerous hallucination.
I see bones. Frameworks of bones. Bones everywhere. The stuff of nightmare. A TV that is switched off and transmits awfulness. Driving persecution on all channels. Wires in my brain.
Christ on a bike this is awful.
The poison from within. The curing from without.
I cannot handle this and I need to fall asleep.
I pray for release from the devils which torment me. Never again. This is 16 shades of hell.
We fought monsters in the deep ocean. We are terrified. I am falling into the hell I foresee.
There is more. Lost cities and fallen hopes. The metaphysics of catastrophe

At that point the peak hits and overwhelms me. This is the kind of onset where you get that oppressive feeling of imminent doom, and you stare into the walls which have shifted from white to a glowing yellowy-green, and you know the trip will get worse before it gets better. The "need to sleep" is probably a sign that I would have been better off lying down and just surrendering to the trip, but I was too scared.
I described this feeling once as "The punishment that comes from within" and it is not pleasant. It was like facing the wrath of God, and by the time I returned to my senses I felt as though I had been judged by God, shown what would happen at my death and then allowed to come back. Something like that.
After going into the peak in a state of fear and delusional paranoia, I come out of it in a state of mania with grandiose delusions, evidently thinking I have become God. The writing in the trip journal then continues:
Quote:
God says: Die whenever you want
Play God. You will understand.
I say: Play God I say: Play God That is your homework, you idle cunt
God says: You better hope that your God dies before you do. But he won't. I'll see to that.
The greatest hallucination of them all --> Death
If you ever wake up, it's bad news. I have unfinished business.
God says: There is only 1 universe and there are no instructions. Sorry. I was busy

And so on. It's hard to know what to make of this kind of trip. It's as if the process of picking up the pieces after obliterating myself goes too far - I start to think that the universe only exists inside my head, leading to a form of solipsism and the conclusion that I must be God. It feels like a burden, a job, a problem that needs solving, a mindfuck that doesn't let go until the trip starts to calm down.
On the back of the exercise book I was writing in, it says:
Quote:
New improved 100% better universe contained within
which I must have written after I'd filled both sides of the other 36 pages with writing that gets bigger the more insane it gets.
I have experienced versions of this trip several times, sometimes with less fear but usually ending with some version of the "I am God!" routine.
The humbling thing was to go through it and than have to admit that almost the whole experience is completely insane and delusional, but there was something interesting happening that I wanted to understand and so I kept going back to the same place until I felt as if I had explored it a bit more.
Write until you go insane and then keep writing. That's just how I roll 
-------------------- I wrote that, but I meant something else
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
Last seen: 28 days, 1 hour
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Aldebaran]
#26382519 - 12/15/19 01:34 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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My last moderate dose pan cyan trip kicked my metaphysical ass into a new gear .
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  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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Nature Boy
Stranger than most



Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 8,241
Loc: Samsara
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Aldebaran]
#26382648 - 12/15/19 04:54 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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WOW, Aldebaran! That is an excellent tale, very well written up. Glad you had no legal consequences.
-------------------- All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies. Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit. Note well: Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend. If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.
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nulls


Registered: 01/30/19
Posts: 158
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Some intense stories here! Maybe I just haven't tripped hard enough, but I feel like the most humbling aspect of tripping has been accepting truth when it conflicts with your former framework of beliefs. My most difficult trip was simply where I was trapped with a father like figure that forced me to forgive people that I was bitter against, but that wasn't the most humbling. The most humbling aspect has been realizing that I don't believe in the bible anymore, when it was formerly my roadmap to life since 5 years of age (now in my 40s). It has taken me almost a year to accept it fully. To discover you've been doing it all wrong and caused harm and hurt isn't easy to accept, but thankfully now I am no longer enforcing those damaging patterns.
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: nulls]
#26383419 - 12/15/19 02:15 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
nulls said: Some intense stories here! Maybe I just haven't tripped hard enough, but I feel like the most humbling aspect of tripping has been accepting truth when it conflicts with your former framework of beliefs. My most difficult trip was simply where I was trapped with a father like figure that forced me to forgive people that I was bitter against, but that wasn't the most humbling. The most humbling aspect has been realizing that I don't believe in the bible anymore, when it was formerly my roadmap to life since 5 years of age (now in my 40s). It has taken me almost a year to accept it fully. To discover you've been doing it all wrong and caused harm and hurt isn't easy to accept, but thankfully now I am no longer enforcing those damaging patterns.
I was brought up in a very strict religious background. Church every Sunday. Mushrooms taught me the same as you, and I no longer trust the bible. However, I would say they have confirmed there is a god, maybe just not a god that is sold to us by the 4,300+ religions!
Take care, DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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Cujllickduo



Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: DJ Ed]
#26383585 - 12/15/19 03:45 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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knowing im able to chat freely and bring light to people having not a worry whilst being comfartable in my skin which im not for obvious reasons being in a bad shape.
only purpose ive now isto relax which im never able to do if im sitting down its not possible for me to sit, only time i was humble is at the shops today there was no issue's. thank god.
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HolyBolete
Mold Slayer



Registered: 12/15/19
Posts: 263
Loc: USA 🇺🇸
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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One humbling experience was being launched into a tunnel with some of my beliefs that no longer serve me. Almost being directly tied to trauma. It felt like going to court in the sense that my belief system was on trial and was being challenged one by one. Felt like a chemical rewiring was happening during this experience.
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Vibe_Enthusiast
Mushroom Technician



Registered: 10/16/18
Posts: 2,420
Loc: GPS signal lost..
Last seen: 18 days, 20 hours
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A lot of you are speaking of your beliefs. I'm curious as to what changed. Were you guys church-goers & came to an understanding that, that's not how it is? Or a full blown atheist that now believes in a God or 'higher power'?
I myself, am in limbo. I will not say theres a god, nor will I say there's a God.. because I don't know. Same as talking about life other than us out in the universe. We can assume so.. but we don't know for sure.
Regardless, whatever we are living in is a magical creation. We're living in an infinity which always blows my fucking mind. But then thats always got me thinking.. what makes us so special? Are we just lucky? Is there a different type of "life" out there.
Not alien life.. but just a different type of life. Heard to explain. But how we have these belief systems and cultural & political views blah blah.. I'm talking about a whole different type of conscious being thats in sync with infinity & understands it.
Who fucking knows lmao. Kinda getting into the rabbit hole. But I was just wondering what has changed on your guys behalf of your belief system.
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Socrateshroom
сталкер


Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 17 days, 7 hours
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Quote:
Vibe_Enthusiast said: A lot of you are speaking of your beliefs. I'm curious as to what changed. Were you guys church-goers & came to an understanding that, that's not how it is? Or a full blown atheist that now believes in a God or 'higher power'?
I myself, am in limbo. I will not say theres a god, nor will I say there's a God.. because I don't know. Same as talking about life other than us out in the universe. We can assume so.. but we don't know for sure.
Regardless, whatever we are living in is a magical creation. We're living in an infinity which always blows my fucking mind. But then thats always got me thinking.. what makes us so special? Are we just lucky? Is there a different type of "life" out there.
Not alien life.. but just a different type of life. Heard to explain. But how we have these belief systems and cultural & political views blah blah.. I'm talking about a whole different type of conscious being thats in sync with infinity & understands it.
Who fucking knows lmao. Kinda getting into the rabbit hole. But I was just wondering what has changed on your guys behalf of your belief system.

What changed for me:
Spiritually I was a militant atheist beforehand. After my first and most transcendent experience, that slowly dissolved away from me. I'm still an atheist in regards to the Judeo-Christian religions (I believe that they are a form of control) but I'm no longer on the offensive. I consider myself a "spiritual" atheist. Not that this label means anything beyond the fact that it is to separate me from the materialistic atheists. I believe that there is more to this world, reality and beyond than we can understand. I think its naive to think there is "one" God who takes the form of a "human like figure" and condemns everyone who doesn't follow one specific religion. Perhaps there is a singular entity of origin but it is unlike anything a human can conceive. Or there are an infinite amount of deities. Perhaps the Earth is sentient. Whatever the case may be, I now believe that there exists realms beyond the material that play an important, if not the most important, role in our existence.
Philosophically (Similar as above) I have a degree in Philosophy so a lot of my views were shaped by the particular classes I took (almost indoctrinated in a sense). My philosophical belief was rather empirical and materialistic (as stated above) although I preferred texts of the more "literary" philosophers (I always thought true philosophy came from stories rather than the purely analytical texts). Nonetheless the dominating field of philosophy where I studied was the analytic side and this shaped how I interacted with the world. After my first trip I dropped the whole thing. I now believe that just because something cannot be verified or epistemically validated does not dismiss its validity. I believe that the scope of contemporary western philosophy lacks the motivation (and perhaps is afraid) to delve into the uniquely subjective psychedelic experience. So my philosophical reality moved from an objective one to a subjective one.
Emotionally I'm more emotionally stable because my cynical beliefs melted away. I used to believe in hard determinism and that made me pretty cynical. I still believe that prior causal factors influence who we are and what happens but I believe that there is maneuverability within that space (that psychedelics somewhat remove one from the determined space for a brief period). This gave me the belief that we truly can change and that we have some dimension of free will.
Anyway, I'm still early into my overall psychedelic experiences so all of this can change. The ultimate belief that I've acquired from my trips thus far is that my beliefs are very malleable and that I need to be open to new things, irregardless of my current beliefs.
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footpath
ὕδωρχοίρος

Registered: 07/16/19
Posts: 1,367
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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I hold some regret for how far I travelled with psychedelics before maturing more. By 17, when I had my truly catastrophic experience, I had already lost count of how many times I'd tripped and exactly how many things I had tripped on. I didn't hold much reverence to the true spirituality that psychedelics harbored. And I didn't hold any reverence to myself and the value of my own life. So, in a respect, I owe just about everything to them. I'd have probably seen myself off, were it not for the appreciative perspectives that I gained from their influence. But I do have a persistent curiosity of the trajectory my beliefs may have taken, had I abstained.
I'll echo the malleability and openness. Sometimes it's a little too malleable. It could almost be seen as a sort of purgatory that I find myself in. Blissfully ambivalent. Without alignment. Sometimes I have to pry morality out of myself, but, at the same time, I hold just about everything precious. Terminal lost meaning to me because I see everything as having a resonance - every thing, every moment, leaves an impression to be admired. Simultaneously, nothing is ever precious and everything is always precious.
It may seem confused or fickle, but really, it just let me have a genuine sense of being. The comfort that being is all that really matters. Letting life happen. That we experience is more god than all the skybeards combined. But those skybeards, too, are part of the experience. This, here, present is far more important than anything before or after. But looking back or forward, too, is part of now.
It's all amazing. Every bit of the cosmos. Pain, love, death, birth, nebulae, pollution, disease, mirrors, torture, litter boxes, momentum... whatever it is. Not one bit of it isn't spectacular. I have psychedelics to thank for that view.
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nulls


Registered: 01/30/19
Posts: 158
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: footpath]
#26389191 - 12/18/19 05:18 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I grew up in the church and going to christian schools so it was ingrained from the beginning. Went to church multiple times a week, went on mission trips, and traveled performing music as a family. It was a very fear based teaching and home life was anything but christian so that was the first issue. What chipped away at my faith was first that I'm inquisitive and break everything down to see how things work. This brought me to study the bible, which it was clear, I was lost and lying when I said I believed, because my actions proved otherwise. I always struggled, because I tried to live up to the ideal, but fell so short that I made the faith look bad. I was the kid that would impulsively say "fuck" in the middle of a prayer, and was obviously demon possessed. So, I began to believe that I was going to hell. I'm sort of a glutton for punishing myself, so I rolled with it until it nearly destroyed me. Desperation led me to mushies for answers, and that caused me to question the character and nature of a god that intentionally made 'flawed' creatures that he intended to torture forever. Before mushies, faith turned my brain off when i came to questioning god or his word. I realized that god was a tyrannical monster, not a loving and merciful god that he claimed to be. Even with flawed human understanding, none of us that have any semblance of love would torture 10 minutes, never mind forever because that's so beyond excessive it boggles the mind. Therefor I cannot believe the bible. I guess I would have to classify myself as agnostic now because as a numbers guy, the odds are against evolution's success, but I also have no evidence to prove otherwise. If I had to answer one or the other instead of waffling, I'd say that there is possibly a creator or designer but not necessarily a god.
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Turvenuija
Up shroom creek without a paddle

Registered: 11/07/18
Posts: 190
Last seen: 18 days, 6 hours
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: nulls]
#26391674 - 12/19/19 11:03 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Having a 3g trip by myself on my bed my brain absolutely froze after the come up and I couldn't move a muscle until the peak had passed. My thoughts were stuck and I had a single six pointed star shape visible in the center of my view even with eyes open. It wasn't too bad but I realized psychedelics aren't always fun as they had been until that point. I started respecting the mushroom a little more.
Holy moly Aldebaran that's a hell of a story.
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Antigov



Registered: 03/17/19
Posts: 792
Loc: Deep within the BibleBelt
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What humbled me was a 8+gram ride I took a while back. During this trip I relived some of the really fucked up shit I have done to people in the past. My empathy gauge was redlined and I laid in the floor and sopped uncontrollably. Freaked the wife out. A part of me wanted to get some things off of my chest, luckily I had some of my wits about me and I kept my mouth closed. Some things are better left in the past.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής



Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,162
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Antigov] 1
#26391703 - 12/19/19 11:43 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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What humbled me was my first psychedelic experience, which was 25c nbome, at 1000μg. This was an insane experience. I was flying through a void in my room the lights were off and I was surrounded by hieroglyphic geometry in neon-like lights. I felt as if I hadn't even been in my room before. That is where I get the name Blue Lux for blue light. I thought I wouldnt remember it so i remember jotting so many things down, especially "dont take this again." Lol. It was terrifying but extraordinary. I felt as if I knew nothing about anything and my who le life was taken from me, put in front of me and shown to me. What I was was nothing and everything at the same time. I was convinced I could never come back to a normal reality, one that would go day to day. It was as if the present moment lasted so long. I went down these spiral loops of thoughts bouncing and connecting like gears to other thoughts, and it was as if i was the connecting force, which I could literally see and feel all around me. I was it. It was absolutely incredible. The next day I had to go to catholic church! My father came to my room and when he turned the hall light on I was mesmerized but I somehow got dressed and put some sunglasses on and went to church. The marble floors turned to an ocean and the flowers were changing colors at the altar. By that time it was coming down but I will never forget those moments. There was one moment in the chaos I glimpsed my face in dim light coming from the moon and also from a few multicolored lights coming from a sound system I had and in that face was this incredible realization. I said "is that me?" "Oh my god that is me!" I felt an expanse within myself I didn't know existed and to this day words can never express that experience, the intricate geometry and dozens of epiphanies in wordless conceptions. If there was some way i could just put it in words... i remember saying that. I tried to write something down but when the ink came onto the paper and started running around and twisting and popping I couldn't even get two words down. This humbled me so much, as I was before quite materialistic and superficial. After this experience I found myself desperate to read philosophy and poetry and find more about the mind. It was without doubt one of the most important things that ever happened to me.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
Edited by Blue_Lux (12/19/19 11:51 PM)
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής



Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,162
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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I feel so divided philosophically. Part of me wants to adhere to strict reason and epistemological varifications and logical constructions, but you are right, the psychedelic experience just doesn't make sense philosophically, without resorting to metaphysics, which modern philosophy simply disdains. I think this is so unfortunate, because what happens within the psychedelic experience, if you take enough or are perhaps lucky enough, is just beyond words. I cannot explain it. That is why I have "Curae leues locuntur, ingentes stupent" in my signature as well. It means, "Trivial concerns talk, great ones are speechless." From Seneca the Younger, Phaedra.
Edited by Blue_Lux (12/20/19 12:24 AM)
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
Last seen: 28 days, 1 hour
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Re: What 'humbled' you? [Re: Blue_Lux]
#26391773 - 12/20/19 01:06 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Blue_Lux said: I feel so divided philosophically. Part of me wants to adhere to strict reason and epistemological varifications and logical constructions, but you are right, the psychedelic experience just doesn't make sense philosophically, without resorting to metaphysics, which modern philosophy simply disdains. I think this is so unfortunate, because what happens within the psychedelic experience, if you take enough or are perhaps lucky enough, is just beyond words. I cannot explain it. That is why I have "Curae leues locuntur, ingentes stupent" in my signature as well. It means, "Trivial concerns talk, great ones are speechless." From Seneca the Younger, Phaedra.
Great post I'm going to send you a PM to go a bit deeper; you actually sound like you understand how philosophy works!
--------------------
  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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