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Gremlinchode
LoneWolf



Registered: 01/11/14
Posts: 104
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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5g Golden Teacher Silent darkness Fasted 9+hrs "Alone"
#26367563 - 12/07/19 06:13 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Nov 28th 2019 6:30 pm. 5grams of home grown Golden Teachers PF TEK.
I want to start by telling you that it had been a crazy year for me and I hade been stricken with grief from the start of the grow until after the trip date. My Aunt recently died and you would not believe that 5 days after her celebration of life my Mother died too they were both in their very early 60's.
I had a rough go with the Pf TEK and ended up with only three cakes that had some green mold. I almost tossed them but said what the hell and let it go. During the grow I prepared a San Pedro Cactus and drank the tea with seemingly no effects but I think there is truth in Shamanic healing and the fact that you get the dose you need at the time. That night was the first time since my Mothers death that I could look at her photos and smile with her without feeling pain and hurt from the past.
The first flush produced 5g dried which included a fair share of aborts. I weighed it three times with two same brand kitchen scales and the last time after being frozen prior to eating. I though that was strange and sort of a sign. I kept them in the freezer and got one more flush from the cakes just north of 20 grams dried but with dunking and rolling this time.
I kept the first flush in a separate container and those are the only mushrooms I ended up taking.
I kept looking at them and finally it was like watching myself, one by one I ate them chewing them and enjoying the slight burnt popcorn/earthy flavor before I knew it they were gone and I turned the light off and laid on the futon with a mask covering my eyes to block any residual light.
My heart was pounding and I was terrified of how I would react alone and in silent darkness facing my demons. Prior to the experience I had been working with a councilor that helps heal past trauma and had been given an assignment to list many painful events chronologically and she would help take me back to the painful memory through visualization techniques.
I laid there waiting for the entire come up in silent darkness and stayed that way for the entire experience only to sit up to take a drink of water (I had a gallon jug half full) and to eventually use the restroom twice. The Magnitude of power and color like a tidal wave made of tiny cubes and terrifying images within cannot be put into words that do it justice. I felt the spirit of the mushroom and "The great one" or God working in tandem and they took me back to my suffering.
I was shown right away that I was never alone in my suffering and tears came down my face like rain. Unexpectedly I was show the suffering of those that hurt me as well, And I prayed for their forgiveness. I prayed that all the pain I have carried all these years would become medicine for the world, Medicine for my children, and my wife and that all their pain would become medicine for the world.
The mushroom and The Great one taught me the true meaning of forgiveness and how when people would apologize in my heart I didn't truly forgive them. The next day I forgave my ex wife after 10 years of silence and I asked her to forgive me too and I meant if with every fiber of my being. I forgave many others too. Thank your for reading.
Gremlin
-------------------- “In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rock feller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways.” -Chuck Palahniuk-
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi



Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,773
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 3 days, 7 hours
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Re: 5g Golden Teacher Silent darkness Fasted 9+hrs "Alone" [Re: Gremlinchode]
#26367577 - 12/07/19 06:18 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hey Gremlin
Best wishes to you and those near and dear.
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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Gremlinchode
LoneWolf



Registered: 01/11/14
Posts: 104
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: 5g Golden Teacher Silent darkness Fasted 9+hrs "Alone" [Re: WhoManBeing]
#26370618 - 12/09/19 10:13 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you, same to you and yours this holiday and beyond!
-------------------- “In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rock feller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways.” -Chuck Palahniuk-
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Socrateshroom
сталкер


Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 17 days, 12 hours
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Re: 5g Golden Teacher Silent darkness Fasted 9+hrs "Alone" [Re: Gremlinchode]
#26373139 - 12/10/19 01:28 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you very much for sharing. I cannot imagine the pain you must have felt through your loss but I am glad that you were able to have this experience.
And your words brought a tear to my eye and a reminder of many things that I am working on in myself. Thanks again and best wishes to you on your life's journey.
Mush love
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Gremlinchode
LoneWolf



Registered: 01/11/14
Posts: 104
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: 5g Golden Teacher Silent darkness Fasted 9+hrs "Alone" [Re: Socrateshroom]
#26374810 - 12/11/19 10:48 AM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you, I will be thinking of you and sending you good vibes, I hope your journey continues to strengthen and teach you and push you to becoming the greatest version of yourself!
-------------------- “In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rock feller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways.” -Chuck Palahniuk-
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