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OfflineHotdog from Space
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High dose of magic mushroom feels like death
    #26363473 - 12/05/19 05:17 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I just took somwhere between 4-8g of magic mushroom, lemon tek. And it felt like I was dying, the body decaying, like I had swallowed lethal poison.


But I did not have a ego death, I guess I need to do more next time. I did however have eupohric visions, but I gotta say

oh, the body load ... like drinking cyanide, like eating Satan.

well, well ...


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26363484 - 12/05/19 05:21 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I wonder, does the ego death come when the body feels so poisoned that you absolutely think that your going to die?


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OnlineNorthernerM
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26363493 - 12/05/19 05:25 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, that's pretty common... You think you're going to die. Then you do.

Then sometime later you realise you're not dead.

Not usually a pleasant experience. Then again it's not all sunshine and rainbows.


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OfflineSugabearcrisp
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Northerner] * 1
    #26363510 - 12/05/19 05:31 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

4-8g is a pretty wide margin of error, have you no scale?


--------------------
Indirect Weighing tek


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Sugabearcrisp]
    #26363525 - 12/05/19 05:36 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

heh!

I've ordered one from China, got tired of waiting, then ate what I consider a lot of mushrooms. Frees perception, but the body dont like it, according to the body it is pure poison.


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OfflineCountHTML
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26363544 - 12/05/19 05:42 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Feature of high doses of psychedelics. It’s a faux death of sorts. At least that’s the quality of the experience and the way the mind seems to frame it. In some sense there is a “what is death, even?” type of thing going on, too.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: CountHTML] * 1
    #26363547 - 12/05/19 05:44 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

The weird thing is...i never feel like i am going to die on mushrooms or DMT. I know in my head i wont die so i dont get distracted by that thought which i believe allows me to go further :shrug:


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363566 - 12/05/19 05:48 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
The weird thing is...i never feel like i am going to die on mushrooms or DMT. I know in my head i wont die so i dont get distracted by that thought which i believe allows me to go further :shrug:




Further than death?

Well, I might feel like that on high THC cannabis, cause of the "head high", I can just forget the body.

But mushrooms at high doses, sheesh, feels like eating someones asshole and dying of food poisoning


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26363619 - 12/05/19 06:12 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Now, still a bit high, i got the though: what if i instead of write my name as a signature, draw a penis, after all. Ones signature needs not be readable.

Maybe Im a lost cause.

But I find the thought funny


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363640 - 12/05/19 06:20 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

It sounds like you were right on the edge of ego-death. The associated kinda OBE moment where you 'realise' you're dying.

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
The weird thing is...i never feel like i am going to die on mushrooms or DMT. I know in my head i wont die so i dont get distracted by that thought which i believe allows me to go further :shrug:




In a way I think it's that moment where you either have to let go or fight with all your might to resist. Truth is it's better to let go, lose yourself in your senses (or lack of). The first time is hella scary to me it was like a system reboot, because you literally have to piece your coherent thoughts back together when you come round. Thoughts like "Oh yes I'm a human" hahaha.

Worth it once or twice though :wink:


Edited by teenagehippie (12/05/19 06:21 PM)


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: teenagehippie]
    #26363641 - 12/05/19 06:23 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

If you arent comfortable fully letting go you probably shouldn't be doing more than that 4-5g side of ur threshold, start there and youll have more time to ease into it.


Edited by teenagehippie (12/05/19 06:29 PM)


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: teenagehippie]
    #26363650 - 12/05/19 06:30 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

What I am scared of is dying and then again coming back and realize I am a human.

What a bummer.


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26363653 - 12/05/19 06:32 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

:bathtub40lol:
Quote:

Hotdog from Space said:
What I am scared of is dying and then again coming back and realize I am a human.

What a bummer.




That made me lol.


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: teenagehippie]
    #26363677 - 12/05/19 06:46 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I really wonder what is the point with the human race. I like one thing about humans and that is compassion.

Otherwise If I have a say, I think we should whipe out the whole human race

The whole body-thing isnt working, its such a drag.

Seems to me that there would be a lot more jazz without bodies.


Edited by Hotdog from Space (12/05/19 06:47 PM)


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OnlineNorthernerM
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363680 - 12/05/19 06:48 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
The weird thing is...i never feel like i am going to die on mushrooms or DMT. I know in my head i wont die so i dont get distracted by that thought which i believe allows me to go further :shrug:



I've been so dead on DMT. Died, seen my body been destroyed, moved on into the spirit realm... then after eternity started sensing parts of my body again. Suddenly been able to see again, not been sure where or what I am... then it all comes flooding back. It's fkn weird stuff hey. Messes with my head.
:omgz:

I know not everyone gets these sort of experiences though. Maybe because I always add harmalas it might drag it out long enough that the disassociation becomes very deep. Just guessing though.


--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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OfflineSizlChest
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363694 - 12/05/19 06:57 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
The weird thing is...i never feel like i am going to die on mushrooms or DMT. I know in my head i wont die so i dont get distracted by that thought which i believe allows me to go further :shrug:




In my earlier mushroom trips I would often. Not so much anymore, and yes, you can relax and let your weight drag you deeper.


--------------------
PrimalSoup's Tea Tek

"I always say the tea is like eating a burning tire covered in dog shit while someone steps on your nuts. Good luck!"
"Hell, shrooms have blown up from under me and kicked my ass on 2 grams once."
"I think ill eat some shrooms right about now, and ill continue to until it doesnt feel like the right thing to do."


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: SizlChest]
    #26363701 - 12/05/19 07:00 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

i literally died when i iv'd 4-aco-dmt. i shot it, i died, i woke up. i literally was saying my goodbyes as the rush hit. i thought i got poisoned and fucked up massively by injecting this foreign substance and the guilt i felt for my family was beyond anything i could say. That is really the only true time i thought i died/dying.

all the other high dose psychedelics i never TRULY felt like "i literally just killed myself..FUCK" besides that one time.

im just saying that going into these experiences i know i literally will not die, so i dont really get tricked into thinking it. i believe that i might go crazy and never come back to reality, but i dont believe i am actually going to die. i guess you could say some experiences feel like dying...but to me it feels more like being transported to a whole different dimension. i dont consider that thinking i am dying.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: SizlChest]
    #26363708 - 12/05/19 07:04 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Btw, I had this funny feeling that I was in control of everything. My neighbour started the car, and I became him, and the car. Sort of like a possesion.

I felt slightly bad for violating his privacy, like I was some kind of predatory animal.


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363713 - 12/05/19 07:05 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Shit that's intense.

I mean I didn't physically die but even then you do think about your family the first ego death, or for me who'd never heard of or understood what it was that 1st time. Its was awful.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: teenagehippie]
    #26363723 - 12/05/19 07:12 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

man ill never forget that shit. a lot of people say things like they arent afraid to die or they will embrace it...but when you are literally 100% convinced you ended your life by accident theres just no words to describe it. in about 7 seconds i went from feeling so guilty, afraid and convinced to literally having no choice but to accept it. i felt like if i didnt accept it, i would botch it. i would fuck up the dying process. thats why i accepted it the last couple seconds because i wanted to "make the clean break" but those 5 seconds of literally feeling "FUCK I JUST KILLED MYSELF FUCK IT LETS GO" is a feeling and a rush like no other.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363743 - 12/05/19 07:21 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I wonder why something is, instead of nothing.

It seems to me to be perfectly logical that if you have existence why not just make it all fun and games.

But then I remember when I play Civilization VI on my computer, if I have no competition, I dont bother to play. The competition, wars,death and famine makes the game interesting.

So it would seem to me that the Buddha, or Nirvana, is when you stop playing Civilization, and why do I play Civilization? cause I want pleasure.


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OfflineCountHTML
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363752 - 12/05/19 07:28 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Interesting, makes me wonder if the very archetype of “death” as encountered in the psychedelic experience is simply a threshold at which the mind hits its capacity. Too much, too many impressions. Must be dying/dead. But then you realize you’re not dead, only expanded.

“Nothing” will only ever be abstraction for us. A better word I think is unconscious vs conscious. Even when we die, I’ve always thought that, even through a purely materialistic worldview, that final flash, even if mediated by the brain, may seem to last an eternity.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26363781 - 12/05/19 07:48 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Hotdog from Space said:
I wonder why something is, instead of nothing.

It seems to me to be perfectly logical that if you have existence why not just make it all fun and games.

But then I remember when I play Civilization VI on my computer, if I have no competition, I dont bother to play. The competition, wars,death and famine makes the game interesting.

So it would seem to me that the Buddha, or Nirvana, is when you stop playing Civilization, and why do I play Civilization? cause I want pleasure.





yes, life is about pleasure in the body. but the real angels are the ones who looks at this world in a way like "this seems familiar, i did this before and i will not succumb to pleasure and let it be the compass of my life" those people are the ones who inherit the kingdom of God.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


Edited by Bill_Oreilly (12/05/19 08:25 PM)


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26363838 - 12/05/19 08:23 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Edit: In response to your post on last page Bill.

Feels good when you come to though right? Being thankful to be alive is powerful.


Edited by teenagehippie (12/05/19 08:24 PM)


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: teenagehippie]
    #26363839 - 12/05/19 08:24 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

its the most gratifying feeling.

but that particular experience, i was kind of too busy picking up the pieces of my shattered self. i remember being in a facepalm position thinking "oh my fucking god what was that..i cant believe it..i CANT believe it" while crying


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26364357 - 12/06/19 06:28 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
man ill never forget that shit. a lot of people say things like they arent afraid to die or they will embrace it...but when you are literally 100% convinced you ended your life by accident theres just no words to describe it. in about 7 seconds i went from feeling so guilty, afraid and convinced to literally having no choice but to accept it. i felt like if i didnt accept it, i would botch it. i would fuck up the dying process. thats why i accepted it the last couple seconds because i wanted to "make the clean break" but those 5 seconds of literally feeling "FUCK I JUST KILLED MYSELF FUCK IT LETS GO" is a feeling and a rush like no other.



Just the thought of that freaks me the fuck out. I've never experienced something of such on Mushrooms. But, I've never taken a dose that I would consider able to do that. Most I've taken was 4.5g and that's still my dose because I'm still learning. I step up the scale slowly.

Also, I'm very much capable of getting lost on these doses. Almost feeling as nothing but a thought.. nothing but a vibration surfing... but I know I'm still "alive"... and that I'm tripping. Idk it's very hard to explain. It's almost as if I'm disengaged & engaged with my body when I want to be.

It's a very therapeutic dose for me

Quote:

Hotdog from Space said:
I wonder why something is, instead of nothing.

It seems to me to be perfectly logical that if you have existence why not just make it all fun and games.

But then I remember when I play Civilization VI on my computer, if I have no competition, I dont bother to play. The competition, wars,death and famine makes the game interesting.

So it would seem to me that the Buddha, or Nirvana, is when you stop playing Civilization, and why do I play Civilization? cause I want pleasure.



If we were to live in this world forever.. there would be no motivation. We would have no purpose. Now, when you give us a short time on this experince.. we try to find pleasure. Things we enjoy doing and doing it often. But, we get sick of anything that's over moderation. Such as work.. games.. shit, even pointless sex. Repetitiveness takes away from the pleasure when you do the same thing over and over and over.

That's why I do feel like working is good and bad. Mostly bad.. but good because it gives us a reason to get up in the morning and serve a purpose.. then getting off to do something we enjoy and look forward to doing.. for our pleasure.

It's a weird rabbit hole.


--------------------
:greyalien:




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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26364454 - 12/06/19 07:42 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Vibe_Enthusiast said:
Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
man ill never forget that shit. a lot of people say things like they arent afraid to die or they will embrace it...but when you are literally 100% convinced you ended your life by accident theres just no words to describe it. in about 7 seconds i went from feeling so guilty, afraid and convinced to literally having no choice but to accept it. i felt like if i didnt accept it, i would botch it. i would fuck up the dying process. thats why i accepted it the last couple seconds because i wanted to "make the clean break" but those 5 seconds of literally feeling "FUCK I JUST KILLED MYSELF FUCK IT LETS GO" is a feeling and a rush like no other.



Just the thought of that freaks me the fuck out. I've never experienced something of such on Mushrooms. But, I've never taken a dose that I would consider able to do that. Most I've taken was 4.5g and that's still my dose because I'm still learning. I step up the scale slowly.

Also, I'm very much capable of getting lost on these doses. Almost feeling as nothing but a thought.. nothing but a vibration surfing... but I know I'm still "alive"... and that I'm tripping. Idk it's very hard to explain. It's almost as if I'm disengaged & engaged with my body when I want to be.

It's a very therapeutic dose for me

Quote:

Hotdog from Space said:
I wonder why something is, instead of nothing.

It seems to me to be perfectly logical that if you have existence why not just make it all fun and games.

But then I remember when I play Civilization VI on my computer, if I have no competition, I dont bother to play. The competition, wars,death and famine makes the game interesting.

So it would seem to me that the Buddha, or Nirvana, is when you stop playing Civilization, and why do I play Civilization? cause I want pleasure.



If we were to live in this world forever.. there would be no motivation. We would have no purpose. Now, when you give us a short time on this experince.. we try to find pleasure. Things we enjoy doing and doing it often. But, we get sick of anything that's over moderation. Such as work.. games.. shit, even pointless sex. Repetitiveness takes away from the pleasure when you do the same thing over and over and over.

That's why I do feel like working is good and bad. Mostly bad.. but good because it gives us a reason to get up in the morning and serve a purpose.. then getting off to do something we enjoy and look forward to doing.. for our pleasure.

It's a weird rabbit hole.





Yeah that feeling is impossible to replicate on mushrooms because what caused it was the intense rush. it was a rush like no other...it was such a digital and sterile rush, so much so i thought it was death. i thought the rush was me dying. i thought injected poison or something because the feeling was just so peculiar and unlike anything psychedelic whatsoever. Its a whole new level. part me feels like i really did die that day and ive been a ghost ever since. thats how convincing it is. the only way to explain it is that IV 4-aco-dmt is more intense than dmt is that dmt and mushrooms are. thats how big of a leap it is from anything i have ever experienced. it was psychedelic rape. psychedelic freight train knocking you out cold. i have injected cocaine and that rush was always the most intense rush until i did this. this makes a cocaine IV rush look like childs play.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineHotdog from Space
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #26364551 - 12/06/19 08:53 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

By the way, is there a way to decrease the bodyload on the mushrooms?

I was totally couch locked on this dose, and the body felt like it weighted 1 ton while i was being pushed down into the sofa.

No nausea or stomach discomforts thought.


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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26364579 - 12/06/19 09:18 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

From my experience its hit or miss. I hike on 4g of mushrooms frequently. Well, during the warmer months. I could always feel them in my legs and slowing me down a bit, but I think once they get the hint that I'm not stopping.. the bodyload subsides.

Now, when I'm in a place where there's a bed or couch, bodyload hits and I end up not moving. I think its because I know I can lay down and the mushrooms know it. I honestly dislike the bodyload to an extreme. Too lazy to even scratch my own nose. Or I know I'm not comfortable but too heavy to reposition myself lmao.

One time I was slouched half way off the couch and just sat like that for an hour. Was pretty much drooling on myself. I didn't pay too much attention to how heavy my body was because the visuals were gasping. But once I acknowledged I was halfway off the couch I finally just let my body fall to the ground then laid on the floor haha.

Shit sucks. But it is what it is. Just have to get past that mental barrier. My ex gf couldn't even pick her arm up off the floor before. Haha.


--------------------
:greyalien:




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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26364585 - 12/06/19 09:20 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

This whole "I died" thing is just.. ugh. All it is, is a marker for who's more susceptible to delusion. It's not a badge of merit. There's nothing positive about describing an experience that way. It does nothing but ascribe a connotation of deepness and wonder that drives people to chase this metaphorical dragon that is this vast scope of indescribable nuance. And this gets tied in to "ego death?" I thought I died, couldn't understand anything.. so I died! My ego couldn't have been any deader! What drivel. My god I miss joe malloy.


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space] * 1
    #26365118 - 12/06/19 01:45 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Hotdog from Space said:
By the way, is there a way to decrease the bodyload on the mushrooms?

I was totally couch locked on this dose, and the body felt like it weighted 1 ton while i was being pushed down into the sofa.

No nausea or stomach discomforts thought.




Lemon Balm tea, helps a lot with bodyload ime.


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #26365463 - 12/06/19 04:54 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

larry.fisherman said:
This whole "I died" thing is just.. ugh. All it is, is a marker for who's more susceptible to delusion. It's not a badge of merit. There's nothing positive about describing an experience that way. It does nothing but ascribe a connotation of deepness and wonder that drives people to chase this metaphorical dragon that is this vast scope of indescribable nuance. And this gets tied in to "ego death?" I thought I died, couldn't understand anything.. so I died! My ego couldn't have been any deader! What drivel. My god I miss joe malloy.



Yeah maybe you're right, there's a bit of hocus pocus flying about. I've never met a person who has had a death experience on mushrooms.

As well as myself I know personally one other person who has had a death experiences on DMT. It's not a badge of merit nor something that happens to people susceptible to delusion. It's something that happens when you take fucking waaay too much drugs at once. The moment of impending doom, dying and leaving of your body, having to accept you are dead and there's no way back, travelling off as a spirit completely forgetting being a human, then the shock of returning to your body, remembering who you were/are and the wonder and relief that you're not actually dead... then the headfuck that persists for a long time afterwards. It's nothing short of a traumatic experience and in no way something to ever ascribe to. It put me off DMT for a long time, it's never been the same since. I've never been the same. There's some shit you just can't unsee.

Is it an amazing out of body journey into the spirit realm? Fuck no. It's just a hallucination of horror and wonder. But it's pertinent to remember that everything is just an illusion, some are just more persistent than others.


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26377762 - 12/12/19 06:00 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I wonder, does the ego death come when the body feels so poisoned that you absolutely think that your going to die?




In the context of a strong trip, I think it happens when the mental intensity becomes so overwhelming that it feels as though the trip is encroaching on your conscious existence, as though your sense of self occupies an increasingly small space within your mind, and then gets obliterated entirely. The body load and feelings of anxiety or panic that come with this level of intensity can make you think you are dying, but it doesn't have to be like that (you can 'surrender' to the trip before it obliterates you, which makes the process less stressful).

:sunstone:

I found an old post which talks about this. It mentions Grof who has this well known quote about ego death (as he sees it):

Quote:

Grof: Sometimes, we not only experience the sense of personal annihilation, but also the destruction of the world as we know it.....we have a sense of all-pervading anxiety and impending catastrophe of enormous proportions. The impression of imminent doom can be very convincing and overwhelming. The predominant feeling is that we are losing all that we know and that we are. At the same time, we have no idea what is on the other side, or even if there is anything there at all. ....we experience total annihilation on all imaginable levels. It involves physical destruction, emotional disaster, intellectual and philosophical defeat, ultimate moral failure, and even spiritual damnation. During this experience, all reference points, everything that is important and meaningful in our life, seems to be mercilessly destroyed.




:aliceshocker::scaryshroom:

Quote:

Aldebaran wrote: You are right to be somewhat wary of an experience which is described in two words, the second of which is death. Ego death implies the death of your "self" - something that feels like your own death.

I don't think there is one single type of "ego death" or "ego loss" experience; not all of them involve the feelings of imminent doom and total catastrophe that Grof talks about. It's possible to accept what is happening and "go with the flow" and still end up in some kind of transcendent, mystical experience that would fit most descriptions of ego death.

On the other hand, one reason the experience is labelled "ego death" is simply because during high-dose trips it can often feel as though you are dying. OK, so it's some kind of metaphysical death, not actual death, but you don't necessarily know that at the time, especially the first time it happens.

To some extent, this is linked in with the idea of a "bad trip." People say "I had a bad trip, I thought I was dying, I'm never taking mushrooms again." They may not realise that they were on the brink of a stunning mystical experience which would have shifted the trip into something fantastical, mind-blowing and extremely euphoric.

I've had various mushroom trips which fit Grof's descriptions. The intensity would build until it became uncomfortable, and then increasingly unbearable. I would find it difficult to swallow normally as my anxiety levels increased up to near-panic levels. A creeping feeling of dread, guilt and persecution takes over the trip. I feel that I have crossed a line that I shouldn't have. The trip is beginning to consume me. There is some prescence that I can feel coming from within the trip itself. And then it would occur to me in a flash - this is God. This is God and God is pissed-off. I would feel helpless and panic-stricken (especially since I am an athiest). Everything I know is wrong. My world is falling apart. I'm falling into a fathomless abyss of death and hell and torture.

And then I realize that all I need to do is just accept defeat. Just give in. Just accept my own death and plead for forgiveness. And that's when I would feel a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. I no longer feel responsible for struggling through my trip - it is being guided and controlled from elsewhere. The afterlife seems to be strange and psychedelic, but not unpleasant.

Other trips involve a cataclysmic backdrop (in my thoughts / CEV) of disaster, war, alien invasion, endless bombing, new kinds of metaphysical weapons, the collapse of civilization.

As for blinding white lights and forgiveness/liberation, there have been occasions where I've gazed at the light in the ceiling and watched it seem to grow in intensity, with a rapidly increasing sense of awe that this is a sign from God. Psilocybin is certainly capable of producing incredibly intense mystical rapture and wonderment, but when initially encountering this kind of raw power the experience can be very unpleasant - like you are being sucked headfirst through the engine of creation.

I wouldn't say it's "the scariest experience a human can have" - but it can reach uncomfortable levels of psychological intensity that make you desperate to return to the sober normality of everyday existence, and doubtful whether you can.




Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said: The weird thing is...i never feel like i am going to die on mushrooms or DMT. I know in my head i wont die so i dont get distracted by that thought which i believe allows me to go further




If you've experienced this type of trip more than once, it becomes easier to think of it as a process where you are more confident of coming out the other side.

If I can feel a trip is building up to a high intensity, sometimes I say to myself that I'm going to have to "die" (i.e. allow my sense of self to be obliterated and then come back again) to get through the trip, but I understand it's just part of the trip. This idea did backfire once when I started to think "what do you mean die and come back, that's insane, fuck!!!"

I sometimes think of the closed eye visuals on mushrooms as being a kind of view into a realm of the dead, so it's hard to shake off the whole dying vibe completely :uhoh:


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #26378888 - 12/13/19 10:07 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

larry.fisherman said:
This whole "I died" thing is just.. ugh. All it is, is a marker for who's more susceptible to delusion. It's not a badge of merit. There's nothing positive about describing an experience that way. It does nothing but ascribe a connotation of deepness and wonder that drives people to chase this metaphorical dragon that is this vast scope of indescribable nuance. And this gets tied in to "ego death?" I thought I died, couldn't understand anything.. so I died! My ego couldn't have been any deader! What drivel. My god I miss joe malloy.




I suffered an “ego death” 32 years ago. I had taken an horrendous amount of Liberty Caps. While I was still lucid I was begging for forgiveness from both god and Satan, who were staring down at me out of the sky, like games masters. And I was overcome with sorrow that I was dying; the pain and suffering I was going to cause to my mum and dad. I was distraught. I don’t remember what happened next, but basically I was dead. I existed simply as consciousness in a dark void. It was cold and lonely, and seemed to last literally thousands of years. The following weeks my mental state went into decline and I eventually checked into the local hospital. I was terrified now of dying, because I now knew you don’t actually die; rather, you continue to exist forever without a body in a cold and lonely dark void. And I thought I was going mad. It felt like my mind was constantly racing, and my heart was palpitating. Saw a counsellor for months, but have been psychologically scarred for life.

Back then, I had no idea of mushroom dosage, nor of what to expect on a catastrophically high dose; I’d had a previous mushroom trip with a much more sensible amount, but even that freaked me out. I had done loads of LSD, so thought I knew what I was doing. There were six of us. We all got split up. We all died!

Even if “ego death” is not the best description for the psychedelic space you go to on high doses, but at least everyone knows what you’re alluding to. And it’s no laughing matter. I try to get there again these days, but it very difficult to let go. I believe if I can let go, I can maybe get to one of those spiritual / mystical places that is really therapeutic.

Take care,
DJ Ed


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26382335 - 12/14/19 10:09 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I don’t remember what happened next, but basically I was dead. I existed simply as consciousness in a dark void. It was cold and lonely, and seemed to last literally thousands of years.




That's a fascinating description of a very high dose experience. :takingnotes:

Quote:


...and behold, horror and great darkness fell upon him. (Genesis 15:12-13)





I'm reading a book of short stories at the moment by Matt Cardin called "To Rouse Leviathan". It's weird fiction / cosmic horror with a theme of there being a dark side to religion, some dark primeval void existing beyond even God (that Genesis quote appears at the beginning).

Matt Cardin also runs a website called The Teeming Brain which has some fascinating articles in its archives on topics which often relate to consciousness, spirituality, psychedelics e.t.c.

Quote:

I was terrified now of dying, because I now knew you don’t actually die; rather, you continue to exist forever without a body in a cold and lonely dark void. And I thought I was going mad. It felt like my mind was constantly racing, and my heart was palpitating.




It's slightly bizarre but that mirrors the kind of situation some of the characters face in Matt Cardin's stories. There's an interview where the author explains this idea behind his work:

Quote:


What would you say are the core underpinning themes and ideas in your work?

MC: The horror of consciousness, and more specifically, self-awareness. Intimations or suspicions of something fundamentally grotesque and nightmarish at the core of existence itself. The inescapable sense of being drawn to find a metanarrative, a pattern, a God’ s-eye view and understanding of one’s experience and the world at large, and then of being horrified at the revelation that this overall pattern and meaning are actually hideous and unbearable. That life isn’t meaningless, it’s meaningful – and the meaning is awful.

The fear that God by whatever name, under whatever cultural guise, may be monstrous. The sense not only of horror but of unbearable loss, grief, and despair that accompanies such a sense of things. The related fear or possibility that artistic and intellectual creativity carry profound dangers because they serve as portals to and for that nightmarish primal ontological reality to communicate itself and corrupt or destroy the artist.





:owl:

To give an example from one of the stories, this is from a story called "Teeth" about a picture that pulls anyone who views it into a horrifying black void:

Quote:


...the picture had become the whole of my consciousness, and it encompassed me, and I stared through it into a cavern of measureless meaning whose very essence was a horror.

...I felt the attention of a massive and malevolent intelligence turned upon me... I knew with absolute, horrified certainty that this nightmare abyss was also staring into me.

A buzzing blackness. Darker than darkness. Corrosive and cold. That was everything





:aliceshocker:

The author had a very religious upbringing but this particularly dark element to his writings is strongly influenced by a series of terrifying 'sleep paralysis' episodes that he experienced.

This dark, lonely void is almost the polar opposite of the kind of ecstatic unity which is usually associated with "ego death". Interestingly, Stanislav Grof in his writings which discuss ego death, speaks of a Metacosmic Void, a primordial emptiness distinct from the "Cosmic Consciousness" of the Universal Mind:

Quote:

Grof writes: In its farthest reaches, individual consciousness can identify with  Cosmic  Consciousness  or  the  Universal  Mind  known  under  many  different  names - Brahman,  Buddha, the Cosmic Christ, Keter, Allah, the Tao, the Great Spirit, and many others. The ultimate  of  all  experiences  appears  to  be  identification  with  the  Supracosmic  and  Metacosmic  Void,  the  mysterious  and  primordial  emptiness  and  nothingness  that  is  conscious of itself and is the ultimate cradle of all existence. It has no concrete content, yet it seems to contain all there is in a germinal and potential form.




All very intriguing, I thought you might find this interesting as the experience you describe obviously had a profound effect on you, and it seems to link in with some of these ideas.

Quote:

Even if “ego death” is not the best description for the psychedelic space you go to on high doses, but at least everyone knows what you’re alluding to. And it’s no laughing matter. I try to get there again these days, but it very difficult to let go. I believe if I can let go, I can maybe get to one of those spiritual / mystical places that is really therapeutic.




In practical terms, I think your "catastrophically high dose" was just way too big, resulting in a massively dissociative experience - the dissolution of not just the ego but most of what lies beyond it, or perhaps the separation of the ego from the fundamental "ground" of consciousness, or some mindfucking combination of the two...

I think the spiritual / mystical comes in at the sort of dose which is sufficient to fundamentally disrupt your sense of self, without being excessive. There is a kind of void as the trip overwhelms your normal conscious sense of self, but there is something in that void which rises up into consciousness and is experienced as "ecstatic unity" and so on.

Sometimes people associate 'ego death' with monster doses as if it is the ultimate, final destination possible, but I think you can easily exceed the dose required for a mystical experience and end up in states which become more and more dissociative.

I think the most difficult part of an 'ego death' experience is the period leading up to the peak - everything up until the moment you are able to let go. Beyond that point it is as if you had opened a door into a blissful realm inside your mind. It has been described as a 'radical liberation' where suddenly your whole perspective shifts away from the self, and all your worries just become irrelevant as an oceanic feeling of bliss takes over.

The comeup can be scary, the period after the peak can be exhaustingly manic and euphoric, but in many ways the state of 'ego death' itself is a refuge where you are at peace within the eye of the storm of the trip, from which you 'wake up' feeling incredible.

Here's to letting go...

:raisemyglass:

:nyan:


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Hotdog from Space]
    #26382510 - 12/15/19 01:24 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Hotdog from Space said:
I wonder why something is, instead of nothing.




Now you're asking the real questions :cool:.


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26382581 - 12/15/19 03:04 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Thank you, Aldebaran, from the bottom of my heart. You are the first person in 32 years who has added any kind of explanation for what I went through. Even today, I have not been able to reconcile my “ego death” experience, particularly with the recent research where psilocybin is given to end of life cancer patients, where the upturn is they lose their fear of dying. My experience has had the opposite effect on me.

I have some reading to do; thank you for the links and information, I will follow all this up.

I have never had a trip anywhere near the strength and intensity of that “catastrophic” Liberty Cap experience. Some features of it, before the void:

The trip came on very quickly. A framed picture of a dragon come alive and floated around the living room. We decided outside would be better. Tying shoe laces on shoes that had grown teeth and were trying to bite you was hard.

Outside it was cold dark nd wet, typical September / October night in Lancashire! The rain was multi-coloured. It was impossible to cross roads as the cars, even though taking tens of minutes to reach you, then sped by at light speed!

Rang my ex to pick me and one remaining mate up. She told us to F off!

So we walked into town and took shelter from the rain in a shop doorway. Sat down smoking a cigarette together we moulded into each other at the shoulder, becoming one person. As one, we watched the firework-like dragons flying through the sky.

Then I lost Glynn! All I did was stand up and look at him; he zoomed out backwards such that he seemed 100 feet away from me!

Panicking, I walked further into town. This was all within the first hour! It was then I had the conversation with god and Satan.

Then there I was. I had an image of me that can only be described as I wa an atom, an electron, a small spark of energy. And the dark, cold (wet), lonely void. Time dilated and I simply existed. All my sad emotions of letting everyone down dissipated. It had happened, I was dead, and fuck me is this it for eternity? There was no euphoria, nothing.

When I did eventually come round, having no idea how long I had been in that bodiless void, there were five or six Asian taxi drivers standing over me, all very concerned. I was led in the gutter. The rainwater had been gushing over me, oblivious to my environment and surroundings; may explain why this void was so cold and lonely!

I suppose the silver lining in this particular cloud, was that I was now convinced there was a god, and an after-life. My psychedlic experiences though have even more persuaded me that religion these days is just as much bullshit as our democracies! Religion is now in place to control us and keep us down. The holy sacrament (translation: psychedlic plant) is only given to the religious leaders; that shit is not for the sheep, the low level workers who prop up society for the few at the top of the pyramid.

I could write for hours about this one experience. It will take me some effort to do, and I want to write it up with good English, so although I can promise a trip report, it may be some time........

Thank you for your response, Aldebaran, you have inspired me to learn more.

Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Aldebaran] * 1
    #26382586 - 12/15/19 03:15 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

One other thing, and I say it a lot to newbies these days, is: do your Research!
My concern for newbies is that if you get your first dose wrong, it could turn you away from psychedelics for life, and that would be a shame.

Estimates on doseage would put 3.5g dried Liberty Caps as a heroic dose. Now imagine if you will an ASDA plastic carrier bag. We picked enough Liberty Caps to fill over half of the carrier bag. Six of us drank the tea, which was a full boiled potatoes size pan; about half a pint of thick black liquid each. Back then, we only had anecdotal information, which came from your shady clueless mates! We never took the insane amount as a badge of honour, we were literally ignorant of what was going to happen. And it wasn’t fear that has stood with me for life; it was the sorrow and sadness at the pain I was causing for my family, then the loss of any interaction with any other consciousness for eternity, I.e. sadness and loneliness of existing.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Take care all, do your research, and stay safe.
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26382874 - 12/15/19 08:07 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Wow, I need to read some Lovecraft: it feels chillingly familiar. In fact, I’m getting shivers down my spine!

From Matt Cardin’s Article on Teeth:


The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little. But some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

— H.P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu“   


Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
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“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26384230 - 12/15/19 10:13 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

The rain was multi-coloured




I'll swap you an ego death for some dragons and multi-coloured rain :smile: But then again, the best visuals always seem to materialize just before the trip becomes unpleasantly intense...

Quote:

Wow, I need to read some Lovecraft: it feels chillingly familiar. In fact, I’m getting shivers down my spine!




Oh yes, I am a big fan of Lovecraft! When I started reading his stories I thought "aha, here is someone who is describing the atmosphere of my mushroom trips!".

I like the way he cultivates a sense of awe in his stories, where the horrors are not just frightening to the protagonists but show them a glimpse of the beyond.

:owl:

You can probably find all the stories online but for an introduction to his work I particularly like the order of the stories in this book: The Whisperer in Darkness: Collected Stories (Wordsworth Mystery & the Supernatural) which is only £2.69 on Amazon. There are two more books by Lovecraft published in the Wordsworth Mystery & Supernatural series which together include just about every story he wrote.

I think the sequence of Dagon - The Nameless City - The Hound - The Festival - The Call of Cthulhu gives an excellent introduction because the stories are short, atmospheric and express some of his key ideas. I particularly like "The Nameless City" because it has a strange trippy vibe to it.

Although most of my posts seem to end up being about ego death, when I trip the kind of vibe I am after is more Lovecraftian and weird, a kind of solid 'level 4' trip where you see strange things in your CEV and get that sense of awe that there is maybe something lurking there in the trip, something from beyond. I want to visit the nameless cities and gaze into the abyss, without necessarily getting devoured by it...

:cthulhu:


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26384764 - 12/16/19 09:37 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Haha, reading some “ego-Death” posts on here recently, it may seem I’m not as far away from this headspace after all. I definitely get the ego dissolution on 3.8g dry PC B+, and sometimes the feeling of both gratitude and euphoria I sometimes get when this dissolution kicks in, is quite frankly overwhelming. I often need to sit down for five minutes to cry, and let out my gratitude.

Thank you for the links, and info. I read quite a few as a child, so need to re-read and re-interpret.

Thank you,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26389946 - 12/19/19 02:24 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Taken 10gs dried PEU i haven't felt like my body was dying but i felt unreal if that makes sense( probably makes zero sense) but my hearing sounded like that zuwoop wooo sound at the beginning of earthbound police sirens sounded like hovering ufos and i felt like a walking question block off of super mario sry I can’t really remember everything from that trip it was amazing though. .-.


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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26390157 - 12/19/19 06:30 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
Haha, reading some “ego-Death” posts on here recently, it may seem I’m not as far away from this headspace after all. I definitely get the ego dissolution on 3.8g dry PC B+, and sometimes the feeling of both gratitude and euphoria I sometimes get when this dissolution kicks in, is quite frankly overwhelming. I often need to sit down for five minutes to cry, and let out my gratitude.

Thank you for the links, and info. I read quite a few as a child, so need to re-read and re-interpret.

Thank you,
DJ Ed



I've never done the whole thing of sitting in silence alone when I've taken doses. I'm either hiking or spending my peak in my hammock (during the warmer months).

Anyway.. I ALWAYS listen to music during my trips. I've had ego dissolution happen several times. But it was never scary to me. So.. it's very odd how it works. On a dose of 4g or so.. I'm still in touch with 'reality'. But.. when I focus.. and get lost in the music.. I literally can feel myself drifting away from my body. It feels like I'm going to "play" in my head and that I'm leaving behind my body for a little bit. I tell my body.. "you're safe, I'll be back shortly".. and I get lost in the music. I become the music. I feel free. Euphoria. Nothing else I'm thinking about other than the beautiful music I am.

At times, it has gotten very crazy feeling where I've had to open my eyes. The thing I like.. is when I open my eyes I get back in touch with 'reality'... if I need calm down before i go back into my phase.

That's why I've always like 4/4.5g.. its enough to get lost.. but not enough to never find your way back if need be. Idk. Maybe I'm missing out on something bigger.. but I'm extremely okay with the experiences the 4/4.5g have to offer. For now, at least.


--------------------
:greyalien:




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OfflineNOUS333
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast] * 1
    #26391653 - 12/19/19 10:40 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

My largest and basically first major mushroom trip i literally wrote a note to my fam stating i was sorry, i thought the mushrooms i grew were safe.  I was convinced i ordered the wrong spores or something got fucked up. I felt like i poisoned myself and was dying.    To top it off I was watching enter the void and anyone who’s seen it will know the scene where the cops are shown looking over the kids dead body on the bathroom floor.  I saw myself on my bathroom floor and clear as day hallucinated the back of my parents heads looking over me.  To this day I can see it in my head.  I’ll never forget it. The emotional state was so powerful that I still wonder if somehow I really did die that night and the way of the universe and how this life shit works I’m just in a parallel reality or something now.  It’s crazy what the mind can do and go through.    Ya know we get so obsessed with ourselves it’s funny how the first thing we think about when we think we are dying is everyone but ourselves.  And it’s also funny how when someone else is dying all we can think about is them. Consciousness is at its core truly selfless.  Yet if there weren’t egos and individuals this whole thing we call life wouldn’t really work.

It’s a trip man. And op, I hope your feeling a sense of newness. Of clarity, renewed perception.  I hope this benifited you in some way. Your post has brought me through an important set of memories.    I swear there is like levels to thought. Everyday life had me at level 7 , if 10 is the most superficial meaningless cluttered bullshit, and after reading this I’m in a level 1 head space. 

I think that’s what religion and shit is for. Bringing us to the level 1 or close to it.

There’s definitely something about mushrooms though that makes you hyper aware of your body and thus death of said body. I took a second dose on top of my original microdose yesterday and could feel my digestion....became totally conscious of it.    They say though consciousness oversees all bodily functions. I think mushrooms put your awareness at the level of pure consciousness, so you can experience what only usually happens subconsciously.    Imagine if some people only die subconsciously..


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: NOUS333]
    #26391870 - 12/20/19 04:23 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I had a similar experience 32 years ago. I was begging god and Satan to let me live, and the overwhelming feelings of sorrow because of the  pain I was going to put mum and dad through for dying has never left me. I too thought I’d poisoned myself.

Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineVibe_Enthusiast
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26391985 - 12/20/19 06:27 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I tend to think about all the terrible things I've said to my mother over the years. My mom and I are very close which is why we bump heads regularly. But, I also still live at home which makes a huge difference.

But I always get stuck in these past repressed sad emotional thoughts. I feel the pain I have caused when I said nothing but words. It destroys me. But I've used those trips to help and better myself with how I speak to people. Some things are left better unsaid... and to not let anger control you

Ps @ NOUS - beautiful post dude. You make some great points.


--------------------
:greyalien:




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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Vibe_Enthusiast]
    #26391992 - 12/20/19 06:38 AM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Vibe_Enthusiast said:
I tend to think about all the terrible things I've said to my mother over the years. My mom and I are very close which is why we bump heads regularly. But, I also still live at home which makes a huge difference.

But I always get stuck in these past repressed sad emotional thoughts. I feel the pain I have caused when I said nothing but words. It destroys me. But I've used those trips to help and better myself with how I speak to people. Some things are left better unsaid... and to not let anger control you

Ps @ NOUS - beautiful post dude. You make some great points.




Ive become much more disciplined recently maintaining regular fortnightly trips. And I say discipline because there are so many reasons often to miss a trip and wait. I’ve ended up skipping trips for months! But maintaining my discipline, the mushrooms have really been helping me work through years worth of issues and pain. Last trip I was disturbed at exactly 3 hours in by an Amazon delivery for my wife. I was confused and angry for an hour. But in that hour I thought about the situation and my reaction to it, and concluded I couldn’t be angry with my wife, shit happens. And in the last year, people have actually commented that I’m easier to get along with: can only be the mushrooms. They’re not only helping me (and giving me loads to think about, and loads of fun too), but they’re also helping all those close to me and those I work with 👊🏻

So schedule 1 / class A: FFS no medicinal value and high potential for abuse. War on Humanity, not Drugs!

Take care,
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineAldebaran
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Northerner]
    #26394470 - 12/21/19 06:09 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I've never met a person who has had a death experience on mushrooms.

As well as myself I know personally one other person who has had a death experiences on DMT. It's not a badge of merit nor something that happens to people susceptible to delusion. It's something that happens when you take fucking waaay too much drugs at once. The moment of impending doom, dying and leaving of your body, having to accept you are dead and there's no way back, travelling off as a spirit completely forgetting being a human, then the shock of returning to your body, remembering who you were/are and the wonder and relief that you're not actually dead




It would depend what you mean by a "death experience" - on mushrooms I wouldn't expect to get some kind of classic "near death experience" of floating above my body or travelling as a spirit or entering a tunnel and moving towards a white light.

I think on mushrooms the feeling of 'impending doom' sometimes gives way to some sort of mystical / dissociative state as if your brain is re-booting, so instead of experiencing your 'death' the trip suddenly does something unexpected.

The combination of feeling you are about to die or have your consciousness obliterated, added to some kind of weird blissful mystical state which takes over and into which you wake up feeling amazing, can leave you convinced you have seen some kind of underlying existence behind this one; as though you are already existing in some kind of afterlife and 'normal life' is something you are accessing from there. It feels like some core part of your consciousness cannot die.

Delusional - probably: you are 'dead' but you feel fine and massively euphoric about the whole thing. :lol:

I became convinced in one trip that the main effect of psilocybin was instant death and we were all living in this parallel reality. I'm not sure how that would work but there you go...


--------------------
I wrote that, but I meant something else


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OfflineNOUS333
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Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26394555 - 12/21/19 07:33 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Aldebaran said:
Quote:

I've never met a person who has had a death experience on mushrooms.

As well as myself I know personally one other person who has had a death experiences on DMT. It's not a badge of merit nor something that happens to people susceptible to delusion. It's something that happens when you take fucking waaay too much drugs at once. The moment of impending doom, dying and leaving of your body, having to accept you are dead and there's no way back, travelling off as a spirit completely forgetting being a human, then the shock of returning to your body, remembering who you were/are and the wonder and relief that you're not actually dead




It would depend what you mean by a "death experience" - on mushrooms I wouldn't expect to get some kind of classic "near death experience" of floating above my body or travelling as a spirit or entering a tunnel and moving towards a white light.

I think on mushrooms the feeling of 'impending doom' sometimes gives way to some sort of mystical / dissociative state as if your brain is re-booting, so instead of experiencing your 'death' the trip suddenly does something unexpected.

The combination of feeling you are about to die or have your consciousness obliterated, added to some kind of weird blissful mystical state which takes over and into which you wake up feeling amazing, can leave you convinced you have seen some kind of underlying existence behind this one; as though you are already existing in some kind of afterlife and 'normal life' is something you are accessing from there. It feels like some core part of your consciousness cannot die.

Delusional - probably: you are 'dead' but you feel fine and massively euphoric about the whole thing. :lol:

I became convinced in one trip that the main effect of psilocybin was instant death and we were all living in this parallel reality. I'm not sure how that would work but there you go...



Ive had the same thought. So maybe its true  and we are all dead


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OfflineRanger7227
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Registered: 11/27/19
Posts: 50
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
Re: High dose of magic mushroom feels like death [Re: Aldebaran]
    #26397373 - 12/23/19 12:35 PM (4 years, 1 month ago)

I've had the experience of feeling I'd left my body and existed only in some spirit realm. I actually thought that maybe I'd died and I was a ghost.

I am not even sure where my body was as I was tripping and had the sensation that it could be anywhere - in a hospital or jail even.

After I peaked, I slowly became aware of the real world again though it would be an hour or so before I became comfortable interacting with people or even entering buildings again.

Very strange but interesting too.


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