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OfflineHadrian88
Tryhard

Registered: 11/23/19
Posts: 33
Loc: The Great Southern Land
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Any PTSD Success stories on here?
    #26341659 - 11/24/19 04:36 AM (4 years, 2 months ago)

Hi everyone,

I have suffered combat related PTSD since 2011 and have tried the whole medicine cabinet to deal with it. The only thing these medications provided was 20kg weight gain (in 9 fkn months!), killing libido/sexual energy and turning me into a kind of drone. I decided that suffering PTSD medication free was a better option, which is putting huge stress my relationship with those who I live with.

Recently though, I was medically discharged due to my mental health, which opened up a few more options (as I wouldn't get drug tested). A friend gave me a small dose of psilocybin and it has changed my world. From my research, it would have been nowhere near the dose that has been recently tested in clinical settings, however it gave me a taste of the healing potential. I felt emotions I thought I would never feel again and it lasted days.

So, while I figure out how I am going to get what i need and how I am going to do it, is there anybody out there that has tried this in a non-clinical setting and experienced some level of healing? I stress non-clinical as I don't see a way I would ever be able to control the variables as much as the they did in the John Hopkins research.

Hope I get a few of you who can relate :smile:

Cheers


--------------------
"Creativity breeds happiness and happiness breeds creativity"


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OfflineVP123
Strange
Male


Registered: 06/27/19
Posts: 1,341
Loc: Midwest
Last seen: 10 days, 2 hours
Re: Any PTSD Success stories on here? [Re: Hadrian88]
    #26341761 - 11/24/19 06:19 AM (4 years, 2 months ago)

Welcome to the shroomery. I'm sure there are plenty of people who have self medicated with magic mushrooms. I've been dealing with depression for decades if not my entire life. I'm not sure it is PTSD but I  have some very painful childhood memories. I've been treated with antidepressants three times. The first time about 30 years ago. It worked to help me gain my energy back but it caused constant dry mouth and horrible constipation. It also "dulled" my emotions and lost all motivation to do my job. Second time about 25 years ago tried zoloft and it didn't help much either. Then about 10 years ago tried a medication that contained SSRI and tricyclic antidepressants, it didn't do a damn thing other than killing my libido and again dulling emotions. After that I decided to deal with depression on a day by day basis. Running, meditation, healthy diet helped me feel better. But feeling better doesn't mean being ok.

The last two years it's been specially hard. Not being able to sleep well in spite of running long distances every day. Thoughts of suicide creeping back into my mind. Lack of interest in life and not being able to enjoy anything and this also included lack of sexual desire. It was also interfering big time with my concentration and ability to do my job. But from my prior experiences I didn't want antidepressants.

I had been reading scientific reports on psychedelics for a long time. Maybe 20 years or more. When I saw the research at the Imperial College in London and Johns Hopkins the results were simply amazing. Unfortunately I don't qualify for the trials and some have ended. Magic mushrooms are not legal here but I decided to try. Only done them twice so far, 0.8 grams the first time and 1.6 g the second. The results were instantaneous. The first time the trip started with uncontrollable laughter. It had been probably almost 30 years since I had a good laugh. It lifted my depression instantly. A month later I tried the second dose of 1.6 g. The second trip was not as good. Parts were good and others weren't but it showed me some images of my childhood. I wasn't well prepared for the second trip but I  did it because it will be a few months before I can do it again. I don't want my son asking questions about my use of these mushrooms. My wife just tolerates it but she doesn't want to know anything about my experiences.

Sometimes we have to experiment with ourselves.


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OfflineHadrian88
Tryhard

Registered: 11/23/19
Posts: 33
Loc: The Great Southern Land
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Any PTSD Success stories on here? [Re: VP123]
    #26342976 - 11/24/19 04:44 PM (4 years, 2 months ago)

Thank you VP123. For your welcome and more so for sharing your journey. It means a lot to me.

I understand your struggles. PTSD is one of those things that doesn't hit you by itself, and as such I have also been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and anxiety disorder.

I have been working out, meditating and eating clean, but you hit the nail on the head with your statement - feeling better doesn't mean being ok.

I also have a family and the same concerns as you. I look at them and know that i love them, but i don't 'feel' anything. When it's bad, i can barely be in public for more than 10 minutes before going into overdrive, then it's all down hill from there. What has helped me with this is being fully transparent with them. After 10 years of keeping it internalized and acting like a macho man, being transparent has improved out relationship dramatically. It has also created understanding with my partner in why I want to take this journey and she is fully supportive. This may help your situation (if you haven't tried it). Be warned though, to be honest and open is going to open another can of worms you need to be ready for as you also need to be honest with yourself. My kids are too young to ask questions, but when they are old enough, I plan on telling them everything. My story is their story and the lessons I learn will hopefully help them in life.

The other thing I wanted to acknowledge is the long distance running. Before my knees and ankles turned into chalk, I also used to run 15-20km 3 times a week. After a few months I noticed a severe drop in energy, motivation, libido and difficulty sleeping. I was also following a 'wild' diet, so I was confused that I was feeling so bad. It turns out that for some people, long distance running can totally squash the bodies ability to produce testosterone efficiently, thus the side effects. Now I have only ever do HIIT training when it comes to cardio and it feels heaps better, and in only a fraction of the time.

Thanks again mate. Please keep me updated and I will do the same once things keep rolling. Also, PM me if you just want to vent. Always happy to listen.


--------------------
"Creativity breeds happiness and happiness breeds creativity"


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OfflineOldnameforgotten
Traveler
Male User Gallery
Registered: 10/19/19
Posts: 956
Loc: Pilbara Australia Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 10 days
Re: Any PTSD Success stories on here? [Re: Hadrian88]
    #26347716 - 11/26/19 11:19 PM (4 years, 2 months ago)

I uhhh...... I have it. Kinda just dealing with it. Has it gotten better? I mean no. I am reacting to it better though. Living life better. I kinda dont feel like its possible to fully forget? Each year that goes by I think about it less. But sometimes it really wraps itself around me tight and I start having facial spasms and "disgust" sounds come out of my mouth.

For the first year or so after the events this was a daily happening. I'm now down to about one mild case a week and one major case a month.

Before I had these issues I was mainly focused on the anger. So I didn't have any weird spasms and things. I just had this immense rage. It was so powerful its really hard to describe. It was just flowing. Everywhere. And one day the rage was flowing like a giant waterfall pumping deep through my bones and I realized I was fighting against this rage and something just clicked and I relaxed and the rage seeped into my bones and into my being. It was very refreshing to feel that but at the same time kind of evil feeling?

Ever since I kinda feel like I'm not allowing myself to fight what I should fight.... and the shame comes and I have these spasms. Thats my self diagnosis. My doctor thinks I just need time. Its been 5 years. I guess I need 20? Thanks for the help doc.

I work out mildly. I read books. And I am considering taking up a video game. An RPG. Something to focus on and put all the pieces together you know? I want to tinker.


I dunno I'm rambling. Hard for me to talk about.


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