Hello everyone. I’m not new to this forum but I can’t remember the pw I used for my old username and I can’t remember which email address I used to set up my old account as I made the account like 12 years ago and haven’t been around for a long, long time. I was mostly a lurker anyways and a young teen that didn’t have much to offer as far as mushroom growing (i assume I’ve reached the statute of limitations for being on here under the age of 18? I’m well over now ) Background When I first heard about psychedelics in DARE class in 6th grade I was immediately intrigued. Crack sounded whack, meth sounded worse, and I knew I’d never touch them. I never thought I’d touch cannabis either at the time. But my fascination with the effects of psychedelics came the moment I was introduced to the idea that these effects were possible from eating a mushroom. When I first tried mushrooms at age 15 it was everything and more that I thought it would be. First trip was amazing. Second trip that same year was even more amazing as I was able to get my hands on more that time.
Shortly after this, my opiate addiction began. My third trip was fine but not as good as the first two. Then as my opiate addiction grew my trips became darker. After a few of those I finally realized the mushrooms were communicating that I was going down the wrong path, that I needed to fix A, B, and C about myself and if I returned to the mushroom without doing so I would just receive the same message. And so I stepped away from mushrooms, was able to still do LSD, but until I changed my bad habits, mushrooms had nothing more to teach me. So I said goodbye to them even though they rewarded me with my best experiences in life I’ve ever had and continued sniffing OxyContin from 2007-2010 then when the formulation changed I started shooting heroin from 2010-2017.
In 2013 I was introduced to tampanensis and galindoi but only went for a level 1 experience and then later got pan cyans and pan bisporus but only took the cyans. The bisporus just looked scary to me. I only ever took .5g of the pan cyans though and never got too deep, was sober enough to be in public. But I could feel the difference and despite my life circumstances, the surface I was scratching was one of beauty. I’ve been on suboxone for 2 years now but I still haven’t found a good opportunity to go to a level 5 experience, mostly because I ended up moving back in with my parents to get clean and remained there until I finished my associates degree. I am now on my own again and ready to continue my mushroom journey. I never lost my love for psychedelics and listen and re-listen to Terence McKenna lectures more than I listen to music or watch TV.
I’m going to be trying my first grow soon and have been lurking here this past week but while digging for cultivation info I’ve found I need to be a member for 2 weeks and have a certain number of posts to access certain areas of the forum. So I will be mildly active to achieve that status. I generally prefer to lay in the cut when it involves stuff like this cause I’m paranoid and don’t trust anyone (probably from years of dealing with scumbags that exist in the world of scumbag drugs like opiates.
There are still major changes I need to make in my life, i.e. gain weight/muscle mass, start working out regularly, cut sugar out of my diet, watch less NFL, go out into nature more, read more books, get off suboxone, apologize to the people I’ve been a jerk to, etc. I fear that if I don’t do these things that I KNOW I need to do, my next big mushroom trip will be saturated with these thoughts that may potentially take away from the beautiful experience I long for.
After getting a taste of those pan cyans, that’s all I really want. I don’t even want to bother with cubes again. Has anyone ever just started their first grow with Pan Cyans and skipped the cubes? I’ve seen some say if you can grow cubes you can grow pans, but a lot of people on the internet are prone to saying things that make them look “cool” or whatever. Is this the case? If I’m gonna grow cubes solely for the purpose of getting experience under my belt so I can move on to Pan cyans, should I just skip to the good shit and forget about growing cubes?
Also, has anyone else had the experience of each mushroom trip being worse than the last? I’m wondering if my opiate addiction coinciding with my mushroom Trips turning darker was a coincidence. Terence always said they’re nice to beginners. But the message of those dark trips was so clear...don’t fuck around with them opiates!
I’m looking forward to being on here more and associating with people that share my views on psychedelics because the people I grew up with that appreciated psychedelics ended up going down a bad path with other drugs.
If you read all that, thank you! Be seeing y’all around.
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