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meaculpaUIO



Registered: 08/26/19
Posts: 956
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Rejection and conflict in modern times 1
#26332750 - 11/20/19 06:22 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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People can't deal with rejection or conflict anymore. They think a relationship is ending just because there is problems. Which feeds the exact same thinking, leading to exactly those outcomes. Conflict is either supressed or it means the end of the relationship. This is shown in relationships of romantic nature, it is shown in politics, it is shown in academia.
The setting of conflict and disagreement ending relationships create a general feeling of unsafety, you cannot trust even your closed ones, they are just a set of variables that unvariably will betray you at some point, so you might as well keep other options open, and never commit to anything. You cannot truly worship and be sure in something, cause it will surely be taken away by disagreement and conflict later. Or it will turn sour and disgusting, meaningless, from the energy expenditure of supressing obvious conflict of interests.
Disagreement. People are getting worse at keeping a constructive (or any) relationship with their opposites and their political opponents. They have to keep to people who will not challenge their opinions, nothing is right or wrong anymore in debates, and you can lie your ass off publicly cause everyone is so used to lies and deceit. You cant speak your mind publicly, you canot speak your mind in the workplace, you cannot give your true thoughts to your boss, as it will unvariably lead to conflict and disagreement, which takes away the relationship since we cannot handle this anymore
rant against 2019 complete
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living_failure
unworthy



Registered: 06/13/19
Posts: 352
Loc: spain, madrid
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: meaculpaUIO] 1
#26332771 - 11/20/19 06:47 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Are you sure this is about 2019 or your 2019?.
Maybe this is only a phaenomena happening to you.
Also, maybe isn't about conflict and rejection avoidance because of fear, but because those things aren't a necessity anymore. You can dump your wife, friends, job ... without fear of consequences because there are none.
You can cheat on a woman, laugh at her crying and party the day after or just tinder another chick
Why fight when you can move on and choose a new product?
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Antigov



Registered: 03/17/19
Posts: 792
Loc: Deep within the BibleBelt
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: meaculpaUIO] 1
#26332795 - 11/20/19 07:05 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think the bigger issue is we live in a culture where everyone is right, and everybody is an expert. To sum it up(and the shroomery is the biggest example of all) you have fools arguing with fools. You CANNOT win an argument with a fool. A fool sees no folly in what they do or say. Life is way to short to argue with a fool.
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living_failure
unworthy



Registered: 06/13/19
Posts: 352
Loc: spain, madrid
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: Antigov]
#26332818 - 11/20/19 07:21 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Antigov said: I think the bigger issue is we live in a culture where everyone is right, and everybody is an expert. To sum it up(and the shroomery is the biggest example of all) you have fools arguing with fools. You CANNOT win an argument with a fool. A fool sees no folly in what they do or say. Life is way to short to argue with a fool.
And thinking you are not a fool is exactly what an expert who isn't and expert would say.
Not insulting, just that figuring out who isn't a fool or where to speak in general is impossible a priori.
Edited by living_failure (11/20/19 07:24 AM)
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Antigov



Registered: 03/17/19
Posts: 792
Loc: Deep within the BibleBelt
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: living_failure]
#26332826 - 11/20/19 07:28 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
living_failure said:
Quote:
Antigov said: I think the bigger issue is we live in a culture where everyone is right, and everybody is an expert. To sum it up(and the shroomery is the biggest example of all) you have fools arguing with fools. You CANNOT win an argument with a fool. A fool sees no folly in what they do or say. Life is way to short to argue with a fool.
And thinking you are not a fool is exactly what an expert who isn't and expert would say.
Not insulting, just that figuring out who isn't a fool or where to speak in general is impossible a priori.
And you are right my friend.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: Antigov] 1
#26333067 - 11/20/19 09:24 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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I have been trying for personal integrity since before I was rejected by my peers, but after I rejected them. slowly slowly I have come around to accepting each person as a comrade in human perplexity.
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: meaculpaUIO] 1
#26333192 - 11/20/19 10:24 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
meaculpaUIO said: People can't deal with rejection or conflict anymore. ... rant against 2019 complete
...Seems partly because, of our culture; one aspect of which is no education as regards: nonviolent communication ...however a very good introduction is available for free here, it just takes some commitment of time, and a willingness to learn. It has a proven track record.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nonviolent+communication+marshall+rosenberg
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laughingdog
Stranger

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Posts: 4,828
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: laughingdog]
#26333210 - 11/20/19 10:34 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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This also might be worth a look, hard to tell, without actually taking the time to learn, really listen to others, and testing it out with patience, and an open mind.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=clean+language
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meaculpaUIO



Registered: 08/26/19
Posts: 956
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: laughingdog]
#26333214 - 11/20/19 10:36 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Nonviolent communication is great, but you'll burn yourself out having to apply it to every conversation, it is demanding to keep your cool in face of adversity, and nonviolent communication is no exception. Not really a refutal.
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Yellow Pants


Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 1,386
Loc:
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: meaculpaUIO]
#26333315 - 11/20/19 11:25 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Have to pick and choose battles. Otherwise one will burn out and get spread too thin where a bad time is more likely to happen. So people then develop value systems where some aspects of their lives are regarded as more important than others. If I had to guess I would say the majority of people simply don’t value their people relationships all that much relative to other things like making money, being productive at work, keeping up appearances for the sake of self gratification, study, hobbies etc. However I know people that very much highly value their relationships to people to the extent that they make real sacrifices in other areas of their life in order to experience the subtleties and meet the challenges associated with real communication and relationship.
As has been alluded to I believe this is reflected accurately in mainstream media regarding politics where the majority of people involved, certainly the establishment, aren’t concerned with the nuances of inter relationships but rather favorable social perception at all costs, “winning” some perceived social competition in all sorts of domains like economics, USA vs. the world, left vs. right the list goes deep.
So the rejection of conflict and such is essentially the rejection of valuing inter relationships in favor of something else. It isn’t inherently right or wrong although certain situations will look different than others.
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: Yellow Pants]
#26333426 - 11/20/19 12:15 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Yellow Pants said: ...If I had to guess I would say the majority of people simply don’t value their people relationships all that much relative to other things like making money, being productive at work, keeping up appearances for the sake of self gratification, study, hobbies etc. ... So... the rejection of valuing inter relationships in favor of something else. It isn’t inherently right or wrong
Seem like a good points to me.
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laughingdog
Stranger

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Posts: 4,828
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: meaculpaUIO]
#26333460 - 11/20/19 12:32 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
meaculpaUIO said: Nonviolent communication is great, but you'll burn yourself out having to apply it to every conversation, it is demanding to keep your cool in face of adversity, and nonviolent communication is no exception. Not really a refutal.
...Wasn't intended to be a "refutal". America is supposed to be the most litigious society, you are clearly right, that this is not a happy state of affairs.
...As Yellow Pants, says to create a different reality in one's own life, often requires making changes in one's priorities, as well as a commitment to one's values. One suspects that not doing so, will result in nothing changing. But also as he says: "It isn’t inherently right or wrong", it seems just to be another choice as to how we like our world to feel. ...There are people who have a friendly vibe, and people who make one want to cross the street, to avoid them, when one sees them. ...There are mercenaries & gangsters, and therapists & red cross workers; there is room for both ways of being in the world. Seems to me the important issue is that we have some choice in the matter of 'how we be', regardless of whether the world makes it easy for us. ....Nonviolent communication, is just a tool some use to use to make their world happier. I am not trying to sell it. There are many tools.
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meaculpaUIO



Registered: 08/26/19
Posts: 956
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: laughingdog]
#26333476 - 11/20/19 12:38 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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I meant what I said wasnt meant as a refutal, because obviously non combative language can help a person.
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: Rejection and conflict in modern times [Re: meaculpaUIO]
#26333517 - 11/20/19 12:55 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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