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OfflineShaman Of Andals
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Registered: 05/11/19
Posts: 12
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. * 1
    #26187336 - 09/14/19 03:46 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

You need to read this. Please. I went on a journey. Some of it was euphoric. Some of it was weird, and some of it was outright terrifying.

************
Ok. So CLEARLY....I made a dosage error.

DOSAGE: The scale (which is an old scale that only ticks up 1g not 0.1g) said I ingested 2-3g of dried subs. I picked them myself. I tend to pick them young (but no pins), so I anticipated a higher concentration. So either the scale is wrong or the concentration was off the charts.

SETTING: At home, by myself. Ingested around mid-morning after 30min meditating.

SET: I won't go into much here as I don't want to be identified.

PRIOR EXPERIENCE: I took a small ~1.5g dose a few months ago and had an amazing experience. This was the powder of the same batch mixed in with a new batch.
*******************COMING UP******************
Within around 20-30min, I start getting visuals. I start noticing patterns in art. Patterns start moving around. Then my monitor starts moving around...like its a flag or something. I trip out on this for around 30min and move to my bedroom.

In bed with blankets, eyes covered. Here.we.go...

*********THE BEGINNING***********
I start having a conversation with a different version of myself removed from my own body. One of [us] chastises the other for all the melodrama we create. Its not all about you. You don't have real problems buddy. Do your thing and help others who are struggling to get to where they want to be.

At this point, I start getting some seriously cool hallucinations. It feels like the shrooms are showing me a reality of what it would be like if I followed their advice. It was blissful and everything felt so perfectly synced - the ideal of harmony is the best way to describe it.

I start thinking about my loved ones and how grateful I am for them. I appreciate their wisdom. I feel for my grandparents who are growing old and will one day die. Tears, followed by euphoric comfort.

The visuals start getting crazier. Some of them are a little disturbing but I can handle it and just surrender to it. I start talking to the shrooms. 'You guys are weird hahahaha'...visuals get more pretty but also more intense...

**********PEAKING***********

I hear ringing in my ears and feel euphoric...time literally stops. Crazy visuals. Euphoria. Thoughts stop. Feelings stop. I visualise time but am not subject to it. The concept of thoughts starts to evaporate from reality. Nothingness. I think I stopped breathing, but it was strangely comfortable. Then 'I' stopped as a concept. There was just consciousness witnessing space.

It felt like I was in space. Then the shrooms started ripping into my understanding of space. It's not what we think it is and it doesn't end where we think it does. I just literally 'processed' and 'recorded' what I witnessed. I can't describe it. It was beautiful and amazing. The mushrooms were literally playing with me, giving glimpses into alternate realities. They had a wild sense of humour. I alternated between laughing, being in awe and euphoric for what felt like eternity.

***Serious crazy talk starts below***
I got weirded out by the fact that 'time' and 'events' have already happened. The shrooms are determinists. There is no free will, everything has already happened in time. Everything is in harmony already. Our task is to witness the future. Our consciousness tries to string together events in the future (as it witnesses events in time), but the future has already happened.

The comedy of existence and the illusion of free will is how we string events in the future together as we witness them. We only see a few dots in history but think we know enough to make narratives. We build narratives implicitly by constructing reality. We construct reality from the things we witness and make 'guesses' about the future. Those narratives are either wrong or meaningless because the future has already happened.
***********[end crazy rant]**************

******THE TERROR********
I 'wake up' and feel euphoric. I've been out for 5 hours. As im getting up, things take a turn for the worse. The above 'reasoning' combined with what I witnessed leaves me with a sense of existential dread. Who am I? What is reality? Is this real? Are thoughts real?

I try to deal with this by moving to a different room with different lighting. It gets worse. Major anxiety. I start feeling hot. I can't breathe. I take off my shirt and rock back and forth for what seems like an eternity. I look at the clock. It's been around 20 seconds. Fuck. I'm stuck in an existential crisis and time has stopped. I start thinking self-harm to get out of it. I talk myself down internally. It's the shrooms I tell myself. No self harm. Just wait it out.

I force myself up and drink some water. I get worried that using the same cup that I drank water from to wash down the mushies will keep me high. Get a new cup from dishwasher, fill with water and drink. Slight relief.


***********GETTING BETTER AND COMING DOWN**********
I go to a different room in the house. Heater still on. Too hot. I go back to the previous room. Things randomly feel better. Catharsis. Resolution. Emotional stability. Sense of self starting to come back. A few flashbacks here and there but they pass quickly.

Still feel a little on edge about what just happened. Feel cold. Take a shower to get better. Reality stabilises by and large but I know i'm still high as a kite. Start tripping out on my own hair. Get dressed, go to window and trip out at trees.

Come down after around an hour. Friend calls. I pick up. We chat. We finish and I feel better. I start typing this trip report.

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InvisibleInflaton
Dr. Stranger


Registered: 03/28/18
Posts: 1,680
Loc: Limbo
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Shaman Of Andals]
    #26194615 - 09/17/19 07:34 PM (4 years, 6 months ago)



--------------------
Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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InvisibleInflaton
Dr. Stranger


Registered: 03/28/18
Posts: 1,680
Loc: Limbo
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Inflaton]
    #26194619 - 09/17/19 07:35 PM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Nice trip!

Love how that determinism came to bite your ass :lol:


--------------------
Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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InvisiblefeeversM
Male


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,658
Loc: Flag
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Inflaton]
    #26196283 - 09/18/19 06:41 PM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Awesome trip report :cool:

If you want to explore the concepts that came up, I’d recommend Sean Caroll’s book on the physics of time. A lot of what you experienced ties in well, time is more of a coordinate (4D, 3 spatial dimensions, 1 time dimension) than something we flow through or with, a crude and not completely accurate description would be the present moment being a time stamp on a film strip, which may already be complete. Also a google search for “spacetime is doomed” will lead you down a rabbit hole of related topics. It’s all far weirder than I can briefly describe

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OfflineShaman Of Andals
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Registered: 05/11/19
Posts: 12
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: feevers]
    #26196858 - 09/19/19 05:46 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks both :smile:

Quote:

Nice trip!

Love how that determinism came to bite your ass




Yeh it's been a few days now and i've largely stabilised. Still feel like i'm integrating a bit. I think i'll try a lower dose next time (and get a better scale), as I don't think I was ready to process all that and it freaked me out. The scary part was that it was the truest thing I have ever experienced. It felt truer than 'reality'.

A really big takeaway for me was the 'witnessing the future' point. It's helped me go way deeper into meditation and has really given me a new perspective on things.

I still don't quite understand what happened when I was in space and time stopped. It felt like I was perceiving different dimensions. I had a bit of that when I woke up too and still get flashbacks. It's like I'm starting to perceive a truer reality within this reality. Guess i'll meditate on it and figure it out.

Quote:

Awesome trip report :cool:

If you want to explore the concepts that came up, I’d recommend Sean Caroll’s book on the physics of time. A lot of what you experienced ties in well, time is more of a coordinate (4D, 3 spatial dimensions, 1 time dimension) than something we flow through or with, a crude and not completely accurate description would be the present moment being a time stamp on a film strip, which may already be complete. Also a google search for “spacetime is doomed” will lead you down a rabbit hole of related topics. It’s all far weirder than I can briefly describe




I am totally getting that book. Sounds right up my alley. I think I know exactly what you mean by 'time is a coordinate' I feel like I perceived that. I get this flashback of what looks like one of those cool space pictures with stars. But the bright lights are points in time.

Gonna start googling...

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InvisibleInflaton
Dr. Stranger


Registered: 03/28/18
Posts: 1,680
Loc: Limbo
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Shaman Of Andals] * 1
    #26196929 - 09/19/19 07:10 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah man, choose wisely what you do in life, since every moment is eternal and inmutable! :wink:

Its just semantics tough. Determinism only has the relevance you want to attach to it.

But the question of whether the universe is deterministic or not is open. I'm fine either way. I see some good/bad takes in each possibility.

- if deterministic, given the present fully detemines the future and the past, seems like you lose some "mystery" in the world. But it means that everything we do matters and will always matter. We are fully conected to the distant past and future. But we can never predict what will happen in practice. Even in principle. So who cares.

- if not deterministic, the future is a box of surprises! But means that the past will get progressively disconnected from the future. And everything, EVERYTHING, will eventually be forgotten. Nothing we do now will matter in the distant future.


--------------------
Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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InvisiblefeeversM
Male


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,658
Loc: Flag
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Inflaton]
    #26196988 - 09/19/19 07:54 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Agreed. Even as I've become familiar with the current physics and theories of time, and how they relate to determinism, it hasn't altered how I live my daily life. More just things to ponder. In what we experience, we're seemingly capable of making decisions and then having to live with their consequences, which is all we really need to need to know at this point imo.

Just a word on Caroll's book, it's certainly not a page turner, especially as you get further on. The concepts build on each other, and sometimes you need to just stay on a paragraph for a bit to get the concept down. Even just the first few chapters are great reading though, and will blow your mind a bit if it's new material to you

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InvisibleInflaton
Dr. Stranger


Registered: 03/28/18
Posts: 1,680
Loc: Limbo
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: feevers]
    #26197074 - 09/19/19 09:03 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Nice to see you have such interests feevers.

Caroll is a pretty good popularizer and a good scientist as well. But he is not up there in the pantheon.

If you want to warp your mind you can read the papers by Gerard 't Hooft in arxiv.org

He will sound a little like a cryptic oracle but he is the deepest and most original, philosophical and "out there" theoretical physicist there is right now. His ideas are out of the mainstream, but he is far from a crackpot. For one thing, has a freaking Nobel prize for the work he did in his PhD.

I see in fact he just published a book on determinism and free will, how relevant to this trip report! :lol:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Determinism_and_Free_Will.html?id=P92EDwAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description


--------------------
Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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InvisibleALX8721
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/06/19
Posts: 38
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Shaman Of Andals]
    #26197088 - 09/19/19 09:15 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Good trip report. The mushies have their way with you nmw. This is something I learned after a few 7-8g cube trips. Completely left my body and experienced existence without a body. No sounds, no blinking, no body, no time, just a small ball of consciousness. How are you doing these days?


--------------------
Just here to spread that love.

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InvisiblefeeversM
Male


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,658
Loc: Flag
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Inflaton]
    #26197201 - 09/19/19 10:34 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Inflaton said:
Nice to see you have such interests feevers.

Caroll is a pretty good popularizer and a good scientist as well. But he is not up there in the pantheon.

If you want to warp your mind you can read the papers by Gerard 't Hooft in arxiv.org

He will sound a little like a cryptic oracle but he is the deepest and most original, philosophical and "out there" theoretical physicist there is right now. His ideas are out of the mainstream, but he is far from a crackpot. For one thing, has a freaking Nobel prize for the work he did in his PhD.

I see in fact he just published a book on determinism and free will, how relevant to this trip report! :lol:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Determinism_and_Free_Will.html?id=P92EDwAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description




Yea I've listened to a few of Caroll's talks and interviews/podcasts, and disagree with him (or the way he argues it) on quite a few things when he gets more theoretical. Love his writing though, and it seems to pack a really good ease of understanding to content ratio for people new to the topics.

I've watched some stuff with Hooft on youtube in the past, definitely some heavy stuff. Got excited for that book, then clicked the amazon link and it's pushing $70 :eek: .

Edited by feevers (09/19/19 10:52 AM)

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InvisibleInflaton
Dr. Stranger


Registered: 03/28/18
Posts: 1,680
Loc: Limbo
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: feevers]
    #26197537 - 09/19/19 02:16 PM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, not sure how many copies they are gonna sell at that price! Probably for libraries only... but most of his thinking on the topic is likely here

https://arxiv.org/abs/1709.02874

Bit technical though... :eek:


--------------------
Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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OfflineShaman Of Andals
Stranger
Registered: 05/11/19
Posts: 12
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: ALX8721]
    #26210096 - 09/26/19 05:03 AM (4 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

ALX8721 said:
Good trip report. The mushies have their way with you nmw. This is something I learned after a few 7-8g cube trips. Completely left my body and experienced existence without a body. No sounds, no blinking, no body, no time, just a small ball of consciousness. How are you doing these days?




So it's been almost a couple of weeks since the experience.  I think i'm slowly integrating some things and am still getting flashbacks.

A couple of things ive noticed:
- I can get into a very meditative state very quickly by recalling the ego death. It's quite incredible really and has really helped because I sometimes suffer from bouts of anxiety.
- I am much calmer in stressful situations because I view them as already having happened and that I am simply witnessing them.
- I have adopted a much more 'live and let live' view of the world, especially with people I don't like/disagree with. I can't explain it well, but the mushies allowed me to visualise everyone's energy - their vibe (for lack of a better term) and everybody's is different and not all are compatible. It's about finding your own space and your own people that makes the difference.
- I'm a bit more emotionally attuned (I used to have really low EQ and I feel like it's getting a bit better), but also a bit more sensitive (I cry more - but I think it helps me let out some of my pent up feelings, as I used to be rather stoic).
- I still get cool interdimensional flashbacks.

All that being said, I still get anxiety (though it's more controllable now because I can go into a meditative state to snap out of it) and I can still be internally judgmental (but I fight that urge now).

I feel like i've grown as a person but still have to put into practice the gifts that the mushies gave me and be consistent about it.

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OfflineGypsy Boy
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Registered: 03/17/17
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Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Shaman Of Andals]
    #26247732 - 10/12/19 03:34 PM (4 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Our task is to witness the future.




:yesnod:


--------------------




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OfflineBsilver1987
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Registered: 09/02/19
Posts: 52
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. *DELETED* [Re: Gypsy Boy]
    #26300358 - 11/05/19 10:26 AM (4 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by Bsilver1987

Reason for deletion: .

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OfflineGypsy Boy
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Re: Accidental lvl5 trip - holy freaking cow. [Re: Bsilver1987]
    #26300378 - 11/05/19 10:37 AM (4 years, 5 months ago)

:yes:


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