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Jewstress
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favorite online dating sites
#26278475 - 10/26/19 02:22 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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and go
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Kryptos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#26278564 - 10/26/19 02:52 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Jewstress
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26278571 - 10/26/19 02:54 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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omg it hurts my ears. i got 13 seconds in sorry
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Kryptos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress] 2
#26278616 - 10/26/19 03:10 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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You're missing out.
I think online dating is a waste of time, at least from a male perspective. You either need to be incredibly attractive (like, top 5%) or you need to have some serious social media marketing skills, i.e. knowing exactly what kind of pictures to take and how to take them. Actually, the ability to properly stage photos may be even more important, because some of those top 5% dudes won't get anything either because they can't take pictures.
Recently (last couple weeks), I ended a long hiatus from dating and started trying to get out there again. Here's my results thus far, compared to my results with online dating both consistent and half-hearted occasional swiping during hiatus.
Background description-- I'm a 6'2ish white guy with blond hair, blue eyes, no facial blemishes, in pretty good shape (not quite six pack, but no chub either), with a six figure job, in my late 20s.
My results on online dating were roughly one match a month when I was doing it consistently and burning through all my daily tinder/bumble swipes. That one monthly match always resulted in at least one date. During my hiatus, when I was swiping a couple times a week maybe, no matches.
My results from the last few weeks, going out to bars/breweries/meetup events were 1-3 numbers per night, with dates from each one I tried to pursue.
Online dating seems to be the definition of choice paralysis. That and grass is greener effect. It's really a waste of time.
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Jewstress
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26278804 - 10/26/19 04:25 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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I guess it’s a matter of opinion.
I’m a single mom of two trying to re enter into the dating scene. When I’m not working one of my two jobs I’m doing fun activities with my kids.
I also don’t drink so I don’t go to bars unless I’m going to see music... which just doesn’t happen cause there is no good music where I am unless I travel about an hour and half both ways.
Online seems to be the only chance I got until my kids are older and I don’t need to find sitters to “get out there”.
Plus I’m getting my tube(I only have one) tied, I’m trying to enjoy that life as much as possible.
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Kryptos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress] 1
#26278855 - 10/26/19 04:51 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Oh, it's definitely different for women. You'll probably have significantly better results, at least superficially.
From my conversations with female friends, they match with 9/10 dudes they swipe on. A large proportion of them never answer or initiate (due to being in that top 5% category and having options), and a lot of them are pretty shitty all around. Dick pic openers and such.
If you put "single mom" or any reference to kids in your profile, you'll probably have a larger percentage of dudes looking for a quick pump-and-dump. Personally, I swipe left on anyone that has kids, because I hate kids. I've only ever been attracted to one single mom, but that was someone I met IRL who was (a) insanely attractive and (b) similarly well educated.
There is a general association with single moms of "I need someone who can afford to take care of my kids for me" in some of the darker corners of the internet.
I think your biggest problem is going to be sorting through the swamp of dick pics and assorted shitheads to find the people you are actually going to be able to have a relationship with. The problem for dudes on dating apps is getting matches, the problem for women on dating apps is getting matches that can actually result in something other than a one night stand.
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Jewstress
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26278859 - 10/26/19 04:55 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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You’re right.
And I really hate the whole “I need someone to afford to take care of my kids” thought process. I don’t need help tending to them — honestly I would rather my significant other never meet them or meet them after many years of dating.
It sucks most single moms out there are looking for that though. I’m an educated woman with a decent income, I don’t WANT or NEED help.
I just want loveeeeeee
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Kryptos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#26278888 - 10/26/19 05:07 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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That's the thing with online dating.
Everyone deals with a certain amount of bullshit. The flavor of the bullshit depends on your individual appearance/circumstances.
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Jewstress
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26278897 - 10/26/19 05:14 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Got a website? I’ll take chances.
Unless you wanna throw that hate for single moms out the window hubbahubba
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Kryptos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#26278922 - 10/26/19 05:28 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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I use bumble only, when I use any dating sites.
If you put in the traveling work and I don't have to meet your kids and you're reasonably attractive, mebbe.
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Jewstress
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26278926 - 10/26/19 05:30 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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I live in campers. Traveling comes EASyyYyyYyy.
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Kryptos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#26278963 - 10/26/19 05:47 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Lol, 1/3...
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Jewstress
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26279113 - 10/26/19 07:17 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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No kids is fine and the other is matter of opinionnnnnn so idkidkkdk
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LogicaL Chaos
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#26279379 - 10/26/19 10:43 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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LincolnCityTripper
Mushroom Maniac



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Amanita86
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress] 1
#26281569 - 10/28/19 06:06 AM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jewstress said: and go
The Shroomery..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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DoneKildatReason
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Amanita86]
#26285594 - 10/29/19 06:50 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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I wish I could find a woman who Does NOT want to meet my kids so bad.... I've dated 3 women in the past 15 months since my kids' mom split.... All of them started pushing to meet my kids. I know I'm lucky to have 4 kids and find a woman who wants to meet them or be a part of our lives.... but I want to take it slow.... what is hard to understand about that? After the relationship becomes sexual, they have all seemed to take it as an insult that I didnt want them to meet my kids.... I'm just trying to meet the right person and let some time pass before my kids see dad with another woman.... no one seems to understand that....
Jewstress - do men usually push so hard to meet your kids?
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Jewstress
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No. Men don’t.
They don’t have the maternal desire women do though. Kids do things do us i don’t think even women fully understand until they have their own.
Also meeting kids is like the signing of the contract it’s official and seriously serious.
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DoneKildatReason
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#26288763 - 10/31/19 12:19 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Exactly.. well put. I've been seeing a woman for about 6 months, and have known her for almost a year.. we instantly clicked and now she wants to be serious and see me more than one night on the weekends.... she wants to meet my kids, has openly asked me when she will and why I have not introduced her yet. She wants to know I am serious. it is a maternal desire that she has.... she knows my kids went through a lot of pain watching their mom slowly disappear and she just wants to mother them.... i never thought of it so simply, thanks for that. it's just too soon for them to even want to see another prospective mother other than their own. But that isnt this women's fault, and I'm lucky to have someone as sweet as that in my life right now. It's just too soon though. I should have waited a few years.... it's hard not to let things get serious sometimes when there are exciting connections and good feelings between people.
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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living_failure
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Recently i registrered in one ( i don't know rules allow to name dating sites). It is a paying site for men and women, so i want to believe women here want something more than sex
No date yet.
Honestly i think it is a bad idea. i can't think of a reason that would make a woman join the site.
I know there is a single mother in the thread. I am ruling out single mothers of the equation because reasons
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
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Quote:
DoneKildatReason said: Exactly.. well put. I've been seeing a woman for about 6 months, and have known her for almost a year.. we instantly clicked and now she wants to be serious and see me more than one night on the weekends.... she wants to meet my kids, has openly asked me when she will and why I have not introduced her yet. She wants to know I am serious. it is a maternal desire that she has.... she knows my kids went through a lot of pain watching their mom slowly disappear and she just wants to mother them.... i never thought of it so simply, thanks for that. it's just too soon for them to even want to see another prospective mother other than their own. But that isnt this women's fault, and I'm lucky to have someone as sweet as that in my life right now. It's just too soon though. I should have waited a few years.... it's hard not to let things get serious sometimes when there are exciting connections and good feelings between people.
Don’t go letting her leverage you into situations you don’t already want to get into. Chicks like to use ultimatums and play these mind games on a brother that gets guys to ‘give in’ even when they really don’t want to do whatever it is. I see this shit on the daily, they play mind games. I’m sure this doesn’t need to be said but keep what’s good for the kids first and if she somehow tries to categorize that as a deal breaker then so be it. You can’t shake a real chick, they stick around..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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yeah


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Quote:
living_failure said: I know there is a single mother in the thread. I am ruling out single mothers of the equation because reasons
Most men who haven't had children yet and don't register on the soy scale aren't interested in single mothers...
All the guys I know of who are respectable men and don't mind have already had children of their own.
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Edited by yeah (10/31/19 07:56 AM)
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Jewstress
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Quote:
DoneKildatReason said: Exactly.. well put. I've been seeing a woman for about 6 months, and have known her for almost a year.. we instantly clicked and now she wants to be serious and see me more than one night on the weekends.... she wants to meet my kids, has openly asked me when she will and why I have not introduced her yet. She wants to know I am serious. it is a maternal desire that she has.... she knows my kids went through a lot of pain watching their mom slowly disappear and she just wants to mother them.... i never thought of it so simply, thanks for that. it's just too soon for them to even want to see another prospective mother other than their own. But that isnt this women's fault, and I'm lucky to have someone as sweet as that in my life right now. It's just too soon though. I should have waited a few years.... it's hard not to let things get serious sometimes when there are exciting connections and good feelings between people.
100% truth.
have you talked to your kids about dating, specifically you dating again? seeing how they feel? what their nonverbal communication says?
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress] 2
#26290886 - 10/31/19 10:52 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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From Amanita:
Quote:
"Don’t go letting her leverage you into situations you don’t already want to get into. "
....and....
"You can’t shake a real chick, they stick around..."
Yes I'm most definitely aware of the games, and thankfully this woman seems pretty mature for the most part, although she does have a way of spoiling me with things I love and making plans for activities or gifts that are a month or two off, and being so openly excited about them, that I cant seem to plan a time to let her go that wouldn't make me feel like a huge asshole.... but leading her on is doing the same thing! So I am kind of stuck.... and to be honest, she would be an amazingly supportive partner, and we get along great. I dont know what more i could hope for.... but i dont like how she says certain things that put me under pressure to have her meet my kids.... for example tonight. It was Halloween. She said , "they look great! I hope next year we can all be together...." or she said once.... "I cant wait for Christmas, I said fuckit and ordered your gift.... hopefully you will have told them by then, but it's cool if not... but hopefully..." Or she has a sensory deprivation thing she said she wants to do early next year..... which is awesome! I love that stuff! And she gets me the sweetest most thoughtful gifts. It's just things like that kind of make me feel guilty, because I dont see myself having anyone around my kids for another year or two.. I cant decide if she is planning the far off gifts or activities to make it harder for me to split with her, but i think she may be, because she has asked me multiple times: "Are you going to run away?" Or, "can I keep you? Like, forever?" Its just a little too much for me right now, and anyway how does she expect me to answer that? It isnt fair dammit! But life ain't fair, is it? It is rough, and I feel like such a fucking asshole for not ending it with her sooner.... but how do you end it with someone who just bought you a really sweet gift? She bought me this blanket for my 34th b-day in September, a rendition of my favorite Alex grey painting....

And she is always buying books online and sending them to me, because we read a lot together.... we have read 12 books in the last 10 months together... I love it! She is really so damn awesome and cool, and I would be lucky to have her as a partner, because she is a hard worker and a great mother to her own 2 kids.... we would make a great team.... but I didnt want this to get so serious so soon after I am out of an 18 year relationship with my kids' mom.. and the way she left was so painful....
From jewstress:
Quote:
have you talked to your kids about dating, specifically you dating again? seeing how they feel? what their nonverbal communication says?
No, I have not talked to them. But you are keen enough to ask about the non-verbal communication, which is exactly what tells me they arent ready. My daughter, 6th grade, has taken up playing the flute, which her mom played.... she also has pictures of Mom up in her room of them two smiling, right above her drawing and painting area where she spends most of her time. She also saw a text from the woman I am talking with. It wasnt anything mushy or anything, but it was saying "I cant wait to see you!" and similar things with heart emojis.... this was back in August that she saw the message.... then she made me this card on my birthday....

My daughter is so sweet, and I think about her well being all the time. All my boys' too. I think itd stress them all right the fuck out. They ask me now and again if I've heard from Mom, if shes doing better, and when they can see her. I almost think that I should wait UNTIL she IS doing better before i openly move on, so that my kids can see her and feel better....
I dont know guys.. i dont know WHAT to do.... i realize the above is very personal, and i thank you all for reading, and also offer my apologies to Jewstress for being so off topic in her thread.... though it is about dating.... lol.
But i dont know guys.... i was just wanting to have some fun with a cool woman and the natural progression of things led to here.... and now i feel like whichever way i turn, I will feel like an asshole. The woman I am talking to is very cool like I said, and we really click. When we have sex, too, it is great, and we go for hours sometimes.. the first time it was like 5 hours, and I came 3 times. It was amazing. And the connection we have made it that way. So after the sex, she really wanted to get serious, but I was still okay with having fun and keeping it with no expectations of long term .... not her. She wants to KNOW that I want her, and only her, forever....
And I just dont think that I do.... not only do I worry about my kids' feelings, but her and I clash on spiritual matters somewhat. I have faith in a higher power of some kind. She thinks it is okay to fucking mock God and I cant stand that. I usually dont respond when she says shit like that, and somehow she hasn't noticed that I dont like it.... so theres that too.... I'm no holy roller, and even have some agnostic leanings, but I am not an atheist, so her jokes rub me way wrong... plus she is too pushy with the long term commitment.... And another thing... she has 2 kids... one is 15, one is 5. The 5 year old is a terror! He is probably going to be diagnosed soon with Opositional Defiance Disorder and ADHD.... he gets into lots of trouble and doesnt mind his momma at all.... and this young man has his Dad in his life.... I could see that stressing my kids the fuck out. My kids are super calm and respectful. I've spent their whole lives paying close attention to their individual natures and trying to nourish that with strict and consistent boundaries and love and understandings.... I dont know if she has done that with the youngest, although her older daughter is very cool and smart and calm.... they have different dads.... I dont know I think she is a good mom but this kid is wild! He seems cool though... but damn he is wild. And he may grow out of that, but my kids wouldn't deal well with that at all.
Also, I think she is worried about her time of finding a good guy running out, and she has had a lot of bad dates too, so when we clicked, she was so excited.... she is 2 yrs older than me, too, and is just very happy with me.. and so was i.... she treats me like I always thought people should treat each other, but I never got from my kids' mother.... who I will likely always miss and love and be sad for, because she let her sadness control her to the point of true self destruction....
From yeah:
Quote:
Most men who haven't had children yet and don't register on the soy scale aren't interested in single mothers...
All the guys I know of who are respectable men and don't mind have already had children of their own.
yes this is how I see it around me too.... I couldn't imagine being with a woman who doesnt have kids.... there is a certain understanding there....
Thanks for letting me ramble (:
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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DoneKildatReason
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Also.....
From Amanita:
Quote:
I’m sure this doesn’t need to be said but keep what’s good for the kids first and if she somehow tries to categorize that as a deal breaker then so be it.
I think you just said it best there.... and that is my top priority. I dont know when circumstances would change to a point where they would benefit from this women's presence or any other's presence in their lives.... but I know it isnt now.... of course maybe they would benefit in some ways, i am sure. But my eye is sharp on the scale, and it still leans one way over all.... Thanks for your thoughts (:
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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living_failure
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: yeah]
#26291956 - 11/01/19 12:38 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
yeah said:
Quote:
living_failure said: I know there is a single mother in the thread. I am ruling out single mothers of the equation because reasons
Most men who haven't had children yet and don't register on the soy scale aren't interested in single mothers...
All the guys I know of who are respectable men and don't mind have already had children of their own.
Well, i am almost 30, most people at my age and country don't have kids. Problem is, most woman at below 30 don't need a dating site. Hell, my sister have two kids and have no problem finding a different partner every week or finding a "serious" relationship.
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Kryptos
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Quote:
DoneKildatReason said: It is rough, and I feel like such a fucking asshole for not ending it with her sooner.... but how do you end it with someone who just bought you a really sweet gift?
Gotta rip off the bandaid.
That's what I did with my last ex a little while back. She was way into me, buying gifts, talking about the future, planning ahead, all that jazz.
And at the same time, I was noticing myself just kinda pulling away. Suddenly, I'd rather stay in and play video games than see her. It just wasn't the same, for some reason. Guess I was getting bored, sort of.
Eventually, I knew I had to end it when I idly considered cheating. No opportunity or anything, but suddenly I remembered a conversation we had earlier where she was like "I don't mind if you sleep with other girls as long as it's only physical".
To me, that was the final red flag. Either I ended it, or it got worse.
It sucked. It really sucked. I felt terrible.
But not as terrible as I would have felt if I never officially ended it, even though it was over in my mind. Shit, I was approaching the cliche of "boss is making me work late" while going to the bar, except to sit at home and play video games.
I also think that women pick up on those vibes, even if they don't explicitly understand the vibes, and some will try to hold on tighter, depending on their past experience. That will not only make it harder to end, but more suffocating to stay.
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Kryptos]
#26292058 - 11/01/19 01:25 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kryptos said: I also think that women pick up on those vibes, even if they don't explicitly understand the vibes, and some will try to hold on tighter, depending on their past experience. That will not only make it harder to end, but more suffocating to stay.
I completely agree. Relationships are so push/pull sometimes, and the more you pull the harder the other will push, just making you feel like a bigger asshole when crunch time comes.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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FungiMaster
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I know plentyoffish used to work.
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JonathoCrisp
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I've used online dating a lot before, now it's very rare I give preference to traditional dating. I heard many stories about scams in this area, and someone makes money on this, so stoped to use it so often and always carefully choosing a site, reading reviews people who use it. For me, very important things are a security of personal data and protection from scams. I use applications such as Tinder or trusted platforms like this one for example... I’ve been using it for several years and don't have any problems. It's convenient to use and most important- it's safe!
Edited by Northerner (11/30/21 07:00 PM)
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Grateful Dead
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: JonathoCrisp] 1
#26561160 - 03/27/20 01:10 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Fetlife
-------------------- Life begins on the other side of despair...
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Brian Jones
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: JonathoCrisp] 3
#26561883 - 03/27/20 07:00 PM (3 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
JonathoCrisp said: I've used online dating a lot before, now it's very rare I give preference to traditional dating. I heard many stories about scams in this area, and someone makes money on this, so stoped to use it so often and always carefully choosing a site, reading reviews people who use it. For me, very important things are a security of personal data and protection from scams. I use applications such as Tinder or trusted platforms like this one for example spam .I’ve been using it for several years and don't have any problems. It's convenient to use and most important- it's safe!
One post. And it's a link to a cam whore site.
-------------------- "The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body" John Lennon I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,
Edited by Northerner (12/02/21 08:49 PM)
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gannondworf
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Brian Jones]
#27583044 - 12/15/21 09:36 PM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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bump
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body



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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: gannondworf]
#27593664 - 12/25/21 12:46 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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Holy shit. Memory lane. Wow. One of the great things about forums, is seeing old posts you'd forgotten about. Might as well update - I broke it off with the woman mentioned above in late January of 2020. I have not dated anyone since then, not seriously anyway. Just focusing on my kids and myself, work, sanity, trying to guide them through this fuckin ridiculously crazy world. It'd still be nice to meet a woman and get to know someone, have that adult connection. I learned some things from this last relationship.
Am definitely thinking it is better to meet new people in person.
I did make an acct on OKCupid. Anyone know of any other good sites to try? Anyone found - or know someone who's found - a good relationship online?
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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TrancedOutBrah
Stranger


Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 1,303
Last seen: 1 day, 55 minutes
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I met my girl of 2 years on plenty of fish. No idea how the site is now but it was decent in my area. I live in a big city though so
-------------------- Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say. Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion. Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one. Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin. MIND OVER MATTER

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vandago


Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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I’ve met more respectable women that are better in bed on OkCupid. Two long term relationships.
Plentyoffish women don’t play no games. Weird sex and no relationship.
Tinder is just a waste of time.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,325
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 21 minutes, 17 seconds
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Re: favorite online dating sites [Re: Jewstress]
#27957556 - 09/19/22 03:02 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Thats really cool! Clever use of an app!
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