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I'm a young 30 something Latino male who grew up in the Catholic tradition. I've been in therapy for a few months. Seems to help. Life hasn't been the same since becoming deaf in one ear. I've been following my Dao, drinking less, smoking more weed, working out more, meditating, body rehab, getting back to my root chakra....
One thing still bothers me. And I'm reminded of the shame and guilt every time I satisfy myself to transsexual porn. I didn't always watch transsexual porn. Like a lot of guys I started watching porn in middle school. Whatever I could get my hands on in 2003, mostly Penthouse and whatever DVD my big bro could steal at a porn shop. And I jerked off fine to it. I've had crushes, whatever the hell that means in 2nd grade with your non-functioning dick. All you know it does is pee comes out and someone whispered "girls didn't have these". My first interest in transsexuals and crossdressers started seeing Maury Show "Man or Woman?" or Jerry Springer "My son is now my daughter" and was fascinated that these were men dressed as women but they looked hot.
By 2004 I graduated to shemale/ladyboy porn almost exclusively. I still had interest in dating girls though. I dated a lot of girls. Got ED for a couple of awkward years and wondered if it was because of my transsexual porn addiction. So I reduced my jerking to transwomen from everyday to twice a week so I'm "more interested in having sex with a girl by the weekend". Although I've gone back to everyday without any consequences. I've dated around 20 girls in my dating life, 2 who were male-to-female transsexual, yes with the dick. "The dick makes it better" lol.
I wonder if I'm gay, bisexual, some interesting offshoot of bisexual, or just horny all the time?? I know in 2019 this sort of thing shouldn't bother me, but I'm getting married in 6 months to a biological female I plan on having a family with.
Hopefully your wife will be as understanding as mine is, nothing wrong with trans porn imo I’ve always leaned more towards realizing I sometimes want to dress up myself. Best thing is be honest from the beginning, because if anyone else besides her finds out it can make both of your lives unpleasant although if your honest she will probably allow you to come to a more realistic option that both can enjoy
You got to let go off the guilt sir. I’m Catholic too and that affected me as well. I was ashamed of lots of things I did. But you have to understand that God created you just the way you are and God loves you.
Now you have to love yourself. If transsexual porn is something you don’t want to watch then try not to watch it. But at some point you’re going to have to shed your guilt.
If you’ve dated cross dressers and you like it than that’s your thing. Let go of the guilt and be the person you want to be just love and respect others. Try and be happy
Nothing wrong here at all. The only thing I'd feel slightly concerned about, in your shoes, would be my fiance's feelings about it, and if I'd be happy with her for the rest of my days (i.,e - is this just fetish/taboo, or is it something that I really want deep down?).
Don't sweat it, just be real.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
Nothing wrong with liking the trannies. If you meet the right woman and the right trans-woman then the three of you could actually have a lot of fun together. And it may be a profoundly positive experience for all of you.
Whether you're gay/bi/tri/quad/etc doesn't matter. That's just a consequence of living in a society that identifies itself through sexual neuroses. You don't have to justify liking dudes, not liking dudes, liking chicks-with-dicks or liking big hefty beefcakes with vaginas as long as everybody's having a good time and you aren't hurting your partners.