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Social anxiety around normies. * 4
    #26183164 -

Once upon a time I used to drink alcohol and that would make me feel brave enough to face the normies at gatherings. I could drink 4 beers in the space of half an hour and then not give a fuck about any of them, their trivial drivel and gossip coupled with asinine jokes. Sure there would be someone there I could talk to and by the end of the night I'd be drunk enough that I didn't really care that I didn't have a good time.

Now I don't drink anymore, it doesn't work for me. What I'm finding is these social situations are hell. There's no way to numb the inanity of the conversation or gatherings as a whole. I don't even want to stand next to the people let alone partake in their conversation.  Give me a fire surrounded by creative people who talk about subjects with meaning. Hell, give me a doof with trashy trippers just pouring their hearts and minds out as it comes to them. Anything that seems more real than these silly word games.

Anyone else get these sort of feelings at social occasions?


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Northerner]
    #26183174 -

Wait, you mean you're not deeply fulfilled by talking about sports, politics, or tabloid drama 24/7?!


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"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Loaded Shaman]
    #26183200 -

I know, strange hey.  :tongue:

Sometimes it seems I'm one of the weird ones, but I know it's them not me. But being so outnumbered makes it hard.

Usually I don't give a fuck, but I'm really feeling it tonight. Forced to be part of some toss event.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Northerner]
    #26183251 -

I know what you mean, I used to just get wasted at those things just so I didn’t have to engage in it, but I stopped drinking 3 years ago. Christmas is always tough with all the ridiculous socially enforced gatherings. I usually take non-alcoholic beers just to make it look like I’m drinking, but when the drunk normies find out it’s not alcohol your in for a torrent of shit and ridicule.
Hope it goes fast for you buddy

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Dwoody1984]
    #26183274 -

I definitely understand and feel the same most of the time. Right now I'm on a business trip for 4 days with my boss and a co worker and the only thing they talk about is work. I don't even want to look at them anymore but I'll just fake it for another day.


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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Dwoody1984]
    #26183290 -

Now a days if it's too much like you described in the op I just do an Irish goodbye. That's when you just leave without saying bye to anyone. I try my best to not waste energy in playing along with people


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Trees is dead, this is his mum posting



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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: searching] * 1
    #26183296 -

I would consider myself extremely socially awkward.which was part of the reason I drank. It's not just at social gatherings though (although they are hell imo). Things like training courses I've been on, at coffee break instead of standing talking with the other people on the course I've sat looking at my phone. Not even doing anything on it just looking at it to avoid having to speak to anyone.

Unless I know someone pretty well and I've spoke to them on a number of occasions, theres no way I'm going to make small talk with someone.


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"great things may come to those who wait, but only what's left by those who hustle"

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Bumholio] * 3
    #26183302 -

Just what exactly do you mean by normies?
Straight people... Or just boring people.
I can't help you with the first , but I can offer some advice on the latter.

  Look around , man.... Where you see an awkward situation , I see a situation ripe with opportunity.
Look for the person that looks as miserable as your self... Are they faking it as well?  Strike up a conversation.


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Texas Honey Badger said:
I went to boys town in Nuevo Laredo when I was in my early ‘30s
There was a bunch of trannys even way back then
I paid probably $20 but I was so drunk I couldn’t get a hard on:faded:
-Whenever you hear 5 blasts from the emergency horn that’s the signal for a 30 minute buttfucking break-      Fiery said:
I wish I was a young sexy woman so I could have awesome sexy adventures all the time[/quote]
split_by_nine said:
i did the man bun.[/quote]
1234go said:
I don't have a dog. I can't stand em...They're needy animals for needy people.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Urb]
    #26183316 -

How about stop going to social gatherings where you are forced to talk to people you give fucks not about; avoid places that you have to interact with people and avoid pointless (to you) conversations. Go to a library and read a book, Join a gardening club or some kind of club where others share your interests and you toil together instead of talk and stuff and you don't have to be drunk to cope. If you are in a situation and think this would be easier if I was drunk but wish not to drink, Find a situation that drinking doesn't help.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Groo] * 1
    #26183323 -

Now that is a prime example of really bad advice. 

" Yeah man, embrace your meekness and become a recluse... A hermit... Who needs people in this world? "


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Texas Honey Badger said:
I went to boys town in Nuevo Laredo when I was in my early ‘30s
There was a bunch of trannys even way back then
I paid probably $20 but I was so drunk I couldn’t get a hard on:faded:
-Whenever you hear 5 blasts from the emergency horn that’s the signal for a 30 minute buttfucking break-      Fiery said:
I wish I was a young sexy woman so I could have awesome sexy adventures all the time[/quote]
split_by_nine said:
i did the man bun.[/quote]
1234go said:
I don't have a dog. I can't stand em...They're needy animals for needy people.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Northerner] * 1
    #26183344 -

I like small groups of people I know and like. Randoms can be alright if I trust the person bringing them to me, but for the most part I don't let down my guard and relax unless that person has more or less proven the more eccentric parts of myself aren't something I should hide. Bare minimum if I can't trust talking drugs with someone then I don't trust them at all. It seems like such a childish frame of mind on the surface but they are a part of my life. I need to trip out every now and then. For my sanity. That means anyone who doesn't agree with that doesn't just disagree with me, like as a person, but they aren't on that wavelength of freedom and personal expression that most users tend to develop. When I start seeing people like that it's like looking at a different species because the amount I can relate is no deeper than those surface conversations that make my brain meats start cooking. It's like having conversations with Oblivion NPCs and then all of a sudden you run in to a player character and you didn't even know you were online. "I thought I was playing by myself this whole time :pokerawe: "

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Urb]
    #26183354 -

How about stop going to social gatherings where you are forced to talk to people you give fucks not about; avoid places that you have to interact with people . Go to a library and read a book, Join a gardening club or some kind of club where others share your interests and stuff and you don't have to be drunk to cope. If you are in a situation and think this would e easier if I was drunk but wish not to drink, Find a situation that drinking doesn't help...
Urb said:
Now that is a prime example of really bad advice. 

" Yeah man, embrace your meekness and become a recluse... A hermit... Who needs people in this world? "


That's definitely what I said. Not... I mean don't go to the fucking bar and fake it if you don't wanna drink. Hang out with people that are easy and enjoyable to talk to. Go hang out with people that don't make you want to drink. Go to a place where you can feel good and live the way that makes you fulfilled and not drink. If you find yourself unable to to this go to a counselor that specializes in helping people overcome social anxiety.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Groo]
    #26183364 -

There are many reasons besides drinking to go to a bar.
And we weren't even talking about a bar. It was a social gathering. Was it in a bar? I dunno.
Where ever it was , isn't the point.

If we only practice or engage in things we have down pat , we will never grow as an individual.

Dude obviously is lacking in social skills. That is what he needs to work on. Not embrace it.

There is a youtube channel called " Charisma on command. " It's pretty good. OP should check it out.
It breaks down the dynamics of social setting with different peoples roles.


--------------------
Texas Honey Badger said:
I went to boys town in Nuevo Laredo when I was in my early ‘30s
There was a bunch of trannys even way back then
I paid probably $20 but I was so drunk I couldn’t get a hard on:faded:
-Whenever you hear 5 blasts from the emergency horn that’s the signal for a 30 minute buttfucking break-      Fiery said:
I wish I was a young sexy woman so I could have awesome sexy adventures all the time[/quote]
split_by_nine said:
i did the man bun.[/quote]
1234go said:
I don't have a dog. I can't stand em...They're needy animals for needy people.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Northerner]
    #26183369 -

Northerner said:
Once upon a time I used to drink alcohol and that would make me feel brave enough to face the normies at gatherings. I could drink 4 beers in the space of half an hour and then not give a fuck about any of them, their trivial drivel and gossip coupled with asinine jokes. Sure there would be someone there I could talk to and by the end of the night I'd be drunk enough that I didn't really care that I didn't have a good time.

Now I don't drink anymore, it doesn't work for me. What I'm finding is these social situations are hell. There's no way to numb the inanity of the conversation or gatherings as a whole. I don't even want to stand next to the people let alone partake in their conversation.  Give me a fire surrounded by creative people who talk about subjects with meaning. Hell, give me a doof with trashy trippers just pouring their hearts and minds out as it comes to them. Anything that seems more real than these silly word games.

Anyone else get these sort of feelings at social occasions?


I hear you completely man. I don't drink often at all, but it's not rare I have to have a few in me before even getting to an event with people who are sold on the plastic life. If not, it's hell.

I'm usually fine with anyone in 1 on 1 conversation, but in groups the dynamic is totally different and it always seems to be either mundane small talk or a circle of people trying to pump their egos up. With some booze in me I can start causing ripples and entertain myself, when I'm sober I'm just counting the minutes and dreading having to say bye to everyone and explain why I'm leaving early.

I'm in a full time cohort-based grad program with 95% 22-26 year old females, so my life is more or less a series of these dreaded events. Plus I'm totally sober now. It's a challenge because I basically need to fit in to succeed in my program. I've found that just trying to get interested in peoples lives and asking them lots of questions helps a little, but with a lot of people it's a painful process.

Edited by feevers (09/12/19 07:13 AM)

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: feevers]
    #26183393 -

I'm in a full time cohort-based grad program with 95% 22-26 year old females

Wtf is the problem?


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Texas Honey Badger said:
I went to boys town in Nuevo Laredo when I was in my early ‘30s
There was a bunch of trannys even way back then
I paid probably $20 but I was so drunk I couldn’t get a hard on:faded:
-Whenever you hear 5 blasts from the emergency horn that’s the signal for a 30 minute buttfucking break-      Fiery said:
I wish I was a young sexy woman so I could have awesome sexy adventures all the time[/quote]
split_by_nine said:
i did the man bun.[/quote]
1234go said:
I don't have a dog. I can't stand em...They're needy animals for needy people.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Urb]
    #26183399 -

Urb said:
There are many reasons besides drinking to go to a bar.
And we weren't even talking about a bar. It was a social gathering. Was it in a bar? I dunno.
Where ever it was , isn't the point.

If we only practice or engage in things we have down pat , we will never grow as an individual.

Dude obviously is lacking in social skills. That is what he needs to work on. Not embrace it.

There is a youtube channel called " Charisma on command. " It's pretty good. OP should check it out.
It breaks down the dynamics of social setting with different peoples roles.



, their trivial drivel and gossip coupled with asinine jokes. Sure there would be someone there I could talk to and by the end of the night I'd be drunk enough that I didn't really care that I didn't have a good time.

He literally said  "Give me a fire surrounded by creative people who talk about subjects with meaning" Aka hobby/similar interest group gathering (fire) Creative people (People at the similar interest group)

I am suggesting to to the fire (place where you actually want to be with people that you like)

He doesn't need fucking charisma classes

he says "There's no way to numb the inanity of the conversation or gatherings as a whole." Aka he can conversation tango with the fakest of the fuckers and get along fine

But it makes him wanna pull his hair out.


"Hell, give me a doof with trashy trippers just pouring their hearts and minds out as it comes to them. Anything that seems more real than these silly word games."

You will find your realness at the groups of gatherings in your similar interests not in fucking charisma classes. He already is good at inane conversation he doesn't want a PHD in it.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Northerner]
    #26183400 -

Maybe it's not social anxiety maybe these people are just asshats


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

Remember to always courtesy flush

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo. -tiny_rabid_birds

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Groo]
    #26183409 -

I can totally relate, between social anxiety and being an empath on top of it social interaction with the general population is draining for me. I used to drink alot to deal with both but I have no self control when I drink so that wasn't much better.
    I quit drinking a few years ago and don't really have any desire to either. Down side is I really don't have much of a social life either.


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The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride".

CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: Urb]
    #26183441 -

Urb said:
I'm in a full time cohort-based grad program with 95% 22-26 year old females

Wtf is the problem?


married

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Re: Social anxiety around normies. [Re: feevers]
    #26183499 -

Yeah I was sure there were shroomerites who would identify with how I was feeling.

For a bit of background, it was the end of year soccer party and presentations for my kids. I was kinda compelled to go so their Dad could be there and see them get their season trophy. Otherwise I just wouldn't have even showed. As soon as they started serving the food I got in, seemed like a good time to make an entrance. I ran into a guy who like me is also alien. We both do volunteer work for a local conservation mob and then I met someone else I know. She's a nice quiet hippy woman whos son is friends with my son. Clearly she was uncomfortable there too, would have much preferred to have been eating good food with good company rather than a barbecue with a crowd of drinkers. She was there for the same reasons as me. I had a few trivial nonsense interactions but managed to avoid the crowd pretty well.

All in all it wasn't so terrible as much of the evening was taken up with presentations too.

The dread that I would be alone in a crowd of adults beforehand was palpable though. It's happened before. I'm pretty sure the people who I talked to were relieved to speak to me too.

Not so bad after all this time.


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We are the music makers, the dreamers of dreams.

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