After a break from shrooms for just over a month, I decided it was time to take a trip again. Unlike previous trips, I decided to finally do a very proper amount of research to prepare for a powerful trip. My first trip was just over 2 months ago and I took 1.75g. After a couple more lighter trips I decided it was finally time to turn up the dosage. I had a fairly decent set and setting, although not perfect. My grandmother's house that I have known since before I could remember. The only reason that it could have been better is because it’s a fairly big house with lots of dark areas, and we have a real spider problem here. I’m not much into spiders so I was a little worried that if I saw one it would spiral me into a terror trip. But I had my brother to trip sit me. On previous doses I would be able to handle myself but for my first time taking a higher dose it was very nice to have a good sitter, I believe that’s part of why things went so well.
I prepared the shrooms by finely cutting them up and eating them with a bar of chocolate, I’ve heard good things about the combo and I can verify that it makes the medicine go down way easier. I knew at this point I had about half an hour to get all the final prep work done. I had a bucket with me in case I felt uneasy, on previous comups I’ve usually felt like getting sick. I made myself cozy on the couch with a couple of blankets and sort of cocooned my head with pillows, it made me feel pretty secure. I made sure to talk to my brother about how I was feeling because I was quite nervous deep down about the dosage I had taken, was I ready? My hands got very clammy and I couldn’t tell if it was from me being anxious or the onset of the medicine, maybe a little of both. I made sure to control my breathing and talk to my brother. At about half an hour in I began to start feeling definite effects, subtle changes in perception of time and some mild warping and breathing of objects. I told my brother that I was on the come up and he might see me do some odd things or talk about weird stuff. I reassured him that I would let him know if I felt like I needed help.
One of the reasons that I was so nervous was because I was expecting to experience ego death, I’d read a few reports about how some people can achieve it on a milder dosage so I was curious if a stronger one would send me down. Long story short, it didn’t. Slowly until an hour or so after consumption I reached my peak. I was going on about nothing to my brother. Having really good thoughts but then having them slip before I could process them into words to describe to my brother, but I still understood them even though I couldn’t put into words. I remember at one point I asked my brother for a hug and then got confused when he got up and came over to me. I asked what he was doing and he said he was going to give me a hug, for a quick minute I completely forgot what a hug was.
At this point in the trip the visuals were stronger than I had ever experienced before, my grandma has a pretty geometric decoration that’s hung on the wall that I would use as my reference for how strong visuals were. The more I looked at it the more complex it got, and colors began to swirl into it. We watched some youtube, my brother pulled up some monster jam, we used to be very into that as kids. As I watched the monster truck it became less of a vehicle and more of a living being, it confused me why people would cheer at an animal literally destroying itself but then I remembered that someone was driving it and it wasn’t controlling itself. I began to notice very vibrant trails and color shifting, to the level where it seemed like someone had taken an rgb wheel and was slowly adjusting the hue in photoshop or something of the sort. It was extremely beautiful.
I laid on the ground just chatting with my brother about whatever it was, I honestly can’t recall. That was until I saw a spider pretty close to me and I flipped a bit, not as much as I thought but still pretty scared. I had my brother verify that it was real so I knew that I wasn’t just seeing things. I was worried that this would send me down to a bad trip but I kept my spirits up and moved away from the area still talking to my brother. At one point I felt very heavy, so heavy that I couldn’t move. Did I even know how to move? This didn’t really scare me at all. I described to my brother how I felt. I told him to imagine being a computer processor that’s pretty old and then introducing this new piece of hardware to it that it didn’t have drivers for, so it didn’t know what to do with it. My brain being the processor and my body being the high tech hardware. He seemed to understand pretty well. I made sure to update him along the way of how I was feeling. To my surprise I was handling myself very well, I had made it to my peak without going insane.
We talked for a little bit more, I remember messing around with his hand and describing just how much work had to go into creating a being such as a human or anything for that matter, my appreciation for life and consciousness was profound. I understood it on a completely different level, something I can’t describe but that other trippers are probably familiar with. After a while longer I told my brother he could sleep if he wanted, after all it was a bit later in the night. I reassured him that I could handle myself from here, I was feeling much better than I had anticipated and I wasn’t so far gone that I would have any lapses in judgment.
At this point I struggled to figure out how much time had passed since I started my journey, It had to have been at least a couple to a few hours if I had to guess. At this point in the trip, I realized that I didn’t prepare nearly as much as I thought I had. I didn’t really set an intention, rather just seeing what the medicine showed me. I think that was one of my first mistakes, I had no idea what to do and I got stuck in a thought loop about what exactly I wanted to do for about two hours. During this time I would listen to some music and pace between the living room, kitchen and garage. I spent a lot of time just existing, it’s a very weird concept to describe. I was perfectly content with just being but I did wish that I had set my intention so that my trip would be a little more guided.
I spent some time listening to some of my favorite music and I got very into it. I was feeling very creative and wanted to play some guitar but my brother was asleep in the other room and there was nowhere that I could go to be able to play as loud as I wanted. This kinda bummed me out but I remembered to keep my spirits up and just enjoy the moment. I hung out with my grandmas dog for a bit, she’s a little lap dog and she was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen, I felt like I could understand her on a different level. I had lost track of where the spider was from earlier and got a little spooked. I thought I saw one on the stairs but it turned out to be a shady area in the carpet. It took me a very long time to figure that out. I have pretty bad arachnophobia.
I was feeling very good but was a little bummed that the trip wasn’t as strong as I had anticipated. I tried to do some research on if it was safe to take more to up the trip level but I didn’t make any ground due to still being in thought loops and ultimately decided that it would be best to just ride the rest of the trip as it was, to respect it. I connected with my roommate to come pick me up, I really wanted to go out and experience the world. At this point in the trip the effects had begun to taper off slowly so I knew I could very well handle myself. The time was about 2:30-3:00 in the morning. I work swing so I’m usually up until 5am.
It seemed like it took forever for my friend to get me, but I realized that I was still experiencing time dilation. I have smoked cannabis on a regular basis for a while now and decided to take a couple hits to relax me out of the rest of the trip. I think it worked pretty well but I would still continue to roll out of the trip for another hour or two. My friend finally came to get me. We spent a while talking about our Miatas, we’re both obsessed. I told him I thought it was funny how as a Miata owner you own what you think is the best and worst car in the world at the same time, he agreed so I knew it wasn’t just the medicine.
We got some taco bell, thank god taco bell exists. However I honestly wasn’t that hungry, I just wanted to hang out with my friend. After this we went back to our apartment, I figured I would have a much easier time trying to sleep there. We watched youtube for about half an hour and I began to get very mentally drained, I knew the trip was coming to a complete close. I went to my room and tried to get cozy but nothing really worked, I remembered having this trouble in my previous trips. It got to the point where I just got up again and walked back to my grandmas house. I was pretty much sober, if anything just a little high from the weed. The walk was very nice, about 45 minutes or so. The sun slowly rose and by the time I made it back to my grandmas house it was morning. On my walk, I thought it was interesting to see just how much of the town that I grew up in I didn’t know. We spend a lot of time in our cars driving from A to B not looking much at what’s in between. I kinda viewed this as a metaphor of sorts and it was a very good thought.
I finally settled down on the same couch that I had started my journey on and things came to a close. Almost like it would have been impossible to sleep if I hadn’t finished where I started. I finally fell asleep.
It’s currently the following morning and I’m documenting everything that was noteworthy incase I inevitably forget. I do feel pretty drained, mentally and physically. But I am very happy with my experience to the point where I’m confident doing the same dose again. After having some time post trip I was able to collect my thoughts about it all. Next time I set out on a trip I definitely need to have a clear intention, it’s much too hard to think about what you want to do while tripping. I think I will try my apartment for my next trip because I feel that I’m much more confident in that setting, as well as it not being spider infested. I also think that I slightly tarnished the trip by eating a little bit about 4 hours earlier. I will also trip in the morning next time to walk in the yard if I feel confident enough, I forgot just how late it was when I was tripping. I would have to say the only thing that I was successfully able to remember for my trip was to breathe and stay calm. Anytime I would get mildly anxious or frustrated because I didn’t know how to do something I would stop trying and just breathe. This was pretty much out of my control too, I didn’t tell myself to calm down I kinda just did on my own without direction. I really valued how grounded I could keep myself and try to steer the trip in a happier direction when it threatened to turn sour.
Ultimately a voyage can never clearly be put into words but I feel very happy about what I was able to remember and take with me from it, even though I didn’t really set out to do anything in the first place. I feel a lot more like me and I really like the feeling.
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