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 split_by_nine
i am the liquor
Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
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 Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do.  [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
#26132532 - 08/12/19 04:36 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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find yourself some new friends.. easier said than done, yes, but not impossible.. find some new friends to spend time with. maybe some work buddies or even old acquaintances you havent seen in a while. dont worry about how he is doing or how he feels. its more important for you to focus on you. ghost him or not, you need some space away.
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🐴
hpoo or die
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Yonatin
Registered: 09/05/17
Posts: 654
Loc: 
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: split_by_nine] 2
#26133679 - 08/13/19 11:45 AM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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It sounds like the best part of your guys' relationship is in your head. He is totally using you and you are letting him because of the fairy tale in your head. Stop the free drugs and see how nice he is to you then, I've been in this exact situation and it's worse when you realize they are using you and you did nothing about it for months. I'm sure you're desperate for a friend but this guy is no friend. I would first of all stop giving him free drugs, then stop talking to him, then delete his number and move on. People like that are only out for themselves, then you add free drugs, it's no wonder why he keeps coming around and it's not your company.
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Edited by Yonatin (08/13/19 05:29 PM)
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 PoisonousLookalike
A lazy bastard living in a suit
 
Registered: 06/14/18
Posts: 657
Loc: Between the Devil and the...
Last seen: 6 months, 13 days
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: Yonatin] 2
#26134004 - 08/13/19 03:41 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Very well put.
To be honest I agree about the "in my head" part; it definitely is that way, as I can't really figure out why I have come to like him so much considering he's the worst person I know.
I mean I dont have a lot of friends but I think I have quite a few good ones (ones that aren't like A), so it isn't even like he is all I have.
I feel pretty shit for having neglected the better people in my life for the sake of A...
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"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen
"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake
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Morel Guy
Stranger
Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
#26134059 - 08/13/19 04:07 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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He probably hates that you are bi sexual and honestly you might do things that you do not realize.
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"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"
In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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Yonatin
Registered: 09/05/17
Posts: 654
Loc:
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: Morel Guy]
#26134232 - 08/13/19 05:36 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Some people have that charisma that just draws you to them, I wouldn't beat yourself up over falling for it. Just remember who he is and remind yourself of it when he is around. When you start cutting him out of your life or cut the drugs see how he reacts and that is the actual "A." You sound like a really nice person so don't let him tear you down and kick him to the curb.
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Bumholio
What's the craic
Registered: 07/23/18
Posts: 4,269
Loc: Shroomsville
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
#26134820 - 08/14/19 04:36 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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So many alarm bells in your op man
Hes well in to his drugs and you're providing "free drugs". I'd say hes exploiting you for this reason alone.
You've made it clear how you feel about him and I think hes using this to get what he wants from you and nothing else. That doesnt sound like best friend material to me, I'd gtfo before you get hurt (if you arent already)
Like hes said he doesnt care about his family and friends, what makes you think he'll be any different about you? It sucks man, but toxic people do nothing for a persons mental wellbeing.
Good luck
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   "great things may come to those who wait, but only what's left by those who hustle"
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already
Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,311
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: Bumholio]
#26134943 - 08/14/19 07:28 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sometimes by not being an asshole to someone you're either being an asshole to yourself or enabling the other guy so that makes you an asshole anyway. "Don't be an asshole" is more like a sprinkle on the sundae of life, it's not the ice cream. The ice cream is your "give a fuck." Two separate entities coming together for their ultimate form. Yet somehow, they don't actually need eachother. And no one just eats sprinkles. They'd think you're weird. Just like I'm cautious with people who are nice to me, because some of the nicest people I've ever met have been the most toxic and manipulative. So get out there and be an asshole slugger! You deserve it! Seriously. It's not a big deal. Let this be a lesson in timidity and self worth.
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flugelizor
Furious ball of nothing
Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,186
Loc: Western NY
Last seen: 4 hours, 11 minutes
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: larry.fisherman]
#26137231 - 08/15/19 02:33 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Lots of long posts here, and I think I caught most of it.
But what about the elephant in the room...
You are bi, obviously have a crush on this guy.
He is straight, therefore incapable of the kind of relationship you want.
Just treat it as a platonic thing, or if you can't handle it, move on.
I am guessing treating you like shit is his way of making it easier to move on.
I understand "move on" is easier said than done. But anyway, Good luck man!
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PoisonousLookalike
A lazy bastard living in a suit
Registered: 06/14/18
Posts: 657
Loc: Between the Devil and the...
Last seen: 6 months, 13 days
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: flugelizor]
#26144365 - 08/20/19 10:34 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Yonatin said:
Some people have that charisma that just draws you to them, I wouldn't beat yourself up over falling for it. Just remember who he is and remind yourself of it when he is around. When you start cutting him out of your life or cut the drugs see how he reacts and that is the actual "A." You sound like a really nice person so don't let him tear you down and kick him to the curb.
I know right! I didn't believe people could actually be so charming until I met him, haha.
Thanks, I try my best to be nice 
Quote:
Bumholio said:
So many alarm bells in your op man
Hes well in to his drugs and you're providing "free drugs". I'd say hes exploiting you for this reason alone.
You've made it clear how you feel about him and I think hes using this to get what he wants from you and nothing else. That doesnt sound like best friend material to me, I'd gtfo before you get hurt (if you arent already)
Like hes said he doesnt care about his family and friends, what makes you think he'll be any different about you? It sucks man, but toxic people do nothing for a persons mental wellbeing.
Good luck
I agree, there have been many times in the past when he has pissed me off and I have come crawling back, so he has probably concluded that he can say or do ANYTHING and I will come crawling back.
I am the kind who could never use or exploit anyone, even people who have fucked me over... It is just not comprehensible to me...
I can do and say shitty things from time to time but this is one thing I could never do.
As a result I can't really understand why he would do this to me, considering that I have been probably the only person, aside from perhaps his parents, who has loved him this much.
I don't understand why he would throw this away for the sake of getting what he wants from me, but maybe he just doesn't value friendship.
Quote:
flugelizor said:
Lots of long posts here, and I think I caught most of it.
But what about the elephant in the room...
You are bi, obviously have a crush on this guy.
He is straight, therefore incapable of the kind of relationship you want.
Just treat it as a platonic thing, or if you can't handle it, move on.
I am guessing treating you like shit is his way of making it easier to move on.
I understand "move on" is easier said than done. But anyway, Good luck man!
Haha.
Well, he seems to be straight, however he seems to enjoy the fact that I am into him.
He raises sexual topics quite often, seemingly encouraging me to flirt with him, and he seems to enjoy it when I do.
But not so much like he is aroused by it, more like he finds it funny/amusing and maybe it gives him some feeling of power over me, and he seems to be the type who would like to be in a situation where he has some power over his fellow man.
Whatever his intention, he has made me very comfortable with saying ANYTHING to him, I've told him many times that whatever he is saying/doing is making me hard, told him I want to suck his dick, told him I'd jerked off to pics of him, etc, I guess I love(d) this aspect of our relationship because I felt like I could be open about these things but in a playful way.
I can see all of you rolling your eyes now... Haha.
Suffice it to say that he seemed to encourage me to make these comments, send him dick pics, etc, without actually explicitly encouraging me... It's just the impression I got from the way he reacted, and also how he never once told me to stop.
But yeah, now that I think of it, he probably enjoyed the power he had over me, even in a non-sexual way.
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"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen
"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake
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SkulletteDemystifi
Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 93
Loc: Gulf Coast
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: PoisonousLookalike] 1
#26144385 - 08/20/19 10:49 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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He only encourages you because he desperately needs to feed his starving ego. I know several women who do the same thing and then get all bent out of shape about the situations when a guy finally tries to make a move. It's a game of cat and mouse to them.
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When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head!
  
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PoisonousLookalike
A lazy bastard living in a suit
Registered: 06/14/18
Posts: 657
Loc: Between the Devil and the...
Last seen: 6 months, 13 days
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: SkulletteDemystifi]
#26144416 - 08/20/19 11:08 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
SkulletteDemystifi said:
He only encourages you because he desperately needs to feed his starving ego. I know several women who do the same thing and then get all bent out of shape about the situations when a guy finally tries to make a move. It's a game of cat and mouse to them.
Yeah exactly. That kind of behaviour seems to be most associated with females but evidently there are exceptions :P
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"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen
"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake
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SkulletteDemystifi
Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 93
Loc: Gulf Coast
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: PoisonousLookalike] 3
#26144474 - 08/20/19 11:34 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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As a female myself I always call women out on this bullshit behavior. People aren't mind readers and it's obvious those types of people are purposely sending mixed messages. It's a mental and emotional mind fuck. They manipulate people to get what they want and then act like they did absolutely nothing wrong or flat out say "they are trying to be friendly". Pfft... They know exactly what they are doing.
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When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head!
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: PoisonousLookalike] 1
#26144726 - 08/20/19 01:50 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn bro. The more details you post the more fucked this gets. Get the fuck out man, this has got to be one of the most toxic relationships I've ever heard of
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Bumholio
What's the craic
Registered: 07/23/18
Posts: 4,269
Loc: Shroomsville
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: SkulletteDemystifi]
#26144796 - 08/20/19 02:33 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
SkulletteDemystifi said:
As a female myself I always call women out on this bullshit behavior. People aren't mind readers and it's obvious those types of people are purposely sending mixed messages. It's a mental and emotional mind fuck. They manipulate people to get what they want and then act like they did absolutely nothing wrong or flat out say "they are trying to be friendly". Pfft... They know exactly what they are doing.
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"great things may come to those who wait, but only what's left by those who hustle"
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SkulletteDemystifi
Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 93
Loc: Gulf Coast
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: Bumholio]
#26144885 - 08/20/19 03:27 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Lol. Just keeping it real. I don't have many friends that are female because it's too much drama. And bitches don't like being called out on their bullshit. It's a win win situation for me. I don't have to deal with the drama; they don't have their feelings hurt when they get called out.
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When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head!
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stzacrack
Stranger
Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 3,889
Loc: United States
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: SkulletteDemystifi]
#26146707 - 08/21/19 05:52 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Be a man and stand up for yourself
Hes a piece of shit selfish junky using you for your time money and affection
Stop chillin with him, get high in your own (or with a co-dependnt girl preferably), and shit will b fun again fir you
This dude is gonna get you arrested
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already
Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,311
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: stzacrack]
#26147350 - 08/22/19 03:50 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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But he's trying to be nice about it! 
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testtesttest
Stranger
Registered: 07/13/19
Posts: 31
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: My best friend belittles me and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do. [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
#26153109 - 08/26/19 01:32 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PoisonousLookalike said:
Furthermore, I have told him this.
I have explained just what I have explained here, and I've said that all I need is one sentence to show that I actually matter, to show me that I haven't wasted 1000s of hours of my life on a relationship that is worthless.
But he will not even give me that.
Just about this section. Maybe I'm old fashioned but most straight guys don't really interact with each other this way within friendships.
So even if this were a normal friendship (and to be clear, I agree with the others that it's not) then you wouldn't be reasonable to expect explicit declarations of best-friend-ness from him. The nearest thing you get is the realisation that he's the first person you think of to call to the bar when you have free time, and you're the first person he thinks of (assuming you're paying equally).
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