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Divine Hermit of the Everything
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Registered: 02/19/02
Posts: 7,575
Loc: border of Canada and Mexi...
Last seen: 1 year, 13 days
The man who accepted all experience as real.
    #2615303 - 04/29/04 10:53 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Jonny Bradson lived with his parents. One night, while he was asleep, he bought a lottery ticket and won a hundred million dollars. The person at the lottery redemption office said they would honor the transaction, but it would take 24 hours for all the funds to process. When he awoke, he jumped out of bed overjoyed with his most recent luck.

Throughout the day he made his plans; he figured he would start by giving half of his money to charity and put half his money in savings. He called ahead to The Childrens Miracle Network and asked them to anticipate a big donation, and to be ready with an oversized check and a photographer to document the occasion. Little Jonny spent so much time making plans for his money that he didn't even call in sick from work. He was exhausted, so he went over to his bed and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, he floated out of his body. He thought this was amazing, but not too amazing... after all, with his recent good luck he had figured out that he was better than any one else on the planet so super powers didn't come as too much of a suprise. He flew around the room a few times and then decided he would fly over to where his girlfreind lived. When he sailed through her bedroom window he was shocked to see her laying in bed with another man.

Jonny sat up in bed screaming. He was very upset... how could she do this to him after so many years of a trusting relationship? Well, he tried to fall back asleep so he could use his super powers to give both of them an advanced stage of cancer. But dispite his best efforts he couldn't, he was just to wound up. Finally, he called her.

"Hello?..." he recognized her voice, but he was listening to the background sounds for clues to the intruder. "Hello?" she repeated. Jonny mumbled something indecernable. "Jonny, is that you? It's 4 o'clock in the morning, I was just sleeping--" Jonny interrupted her, "Yeah, Sleeping with him!" and then he hung up the phone. He was very upset. There was no way he was going to share his money with that succubus. His money! How could he have forgotten... He jumped onto his computer and checked his bank account. He thought it was odd that the balance was still $8.26. The man at the lottery redemption office promised it would be there in 24 hours, and it had been 25!

"Well," he thought, "I'm going to get this sorted out right now. I'm not going to let anyone take advantage of my good nature." Jonny Bradson then took a handfull of sleeping pills from a bottle in the bathroom cabinet and chased it with a glass of water. He layed on the bed, with a scowl on his face, getting more and more drowsy. He had a few things to take care of, but he knew after that he would never have to work again, or be betrayed by someone he loved. He shut his eyes, and embraced his eternal nap.

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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: The man who accepted all experience as real. [Re: TheShroomHermit]
    #2615983 - 04/29/04 01:41 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)


Your kind isn't welcome around these parts....

Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 2,819
Loc: state
Re: The man who accepted all experience as real. [Re: Sclorch]
    #2615987 - 04/29/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Off with his head!! 
/me gets axe and copies of PsuedoScience Weekly  :evil: :devil:

Persons denying the existence of robots may be robots themselves.

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Resident Cynic

Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 5,385
Loc: Apt #6, The Village
Re: The man who accepted all experience as real. [Re: TheShroomHermit]
    #2616009 - 04/29/04 01:52 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I like it.

To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.

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Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: The man who accepted all experience as real. [Re: TheShroomHermit]
    #2616119 - 04/29/04 02:24 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

How dare you challenge people's beliefs, you close-minded skeptic! Don't you know you're supposed to accept everything you're told at face value? Otherwise you're blind and close-minded.


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Registered: 10/18/01
Posts: 264
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: The man who accepted all experience as real. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2616832 - 04/29/04 04:27 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I don't get it. Was he trying to sleep to get to his girlfriend or .....or...uh...

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