As much as I do enjoy occasionally tripping with friends on approximately 3g dried with plenty of cannabis and experiencing synchronicity with others, the real intrigue to me is looking behind the curtain with minimal distractions.
Not to bore you with rambling prelude but I think it's important variable knowing at least a little bit about the path leading up to one of these "journeys" or "events" - I'll try to keep it short. 19 years ago was my first experience with mushrooms, never tried any acid but have experienced shrooms maybe 30 times since. in last few months, for some reason, I have felt highly elevated conviction to push my conscious boundaries. Curiosity is one way to put it but it really feels like something actively drawing me in, wherever "in" is...
After listening to many descriptions of trips involving animated entities that speak and converse with the participant, I realized I have never experienced this and want to get there. Not to derogate the mushrooms but I would certainly try DMT if I could ever find some... for now, it's shrooms. I'm not necessarily afraid of 5 grams but I want to navigate this realm with some wits about me; go deeper on each journey using experiences from previous journeys to have as much awareness as possible of what's going on. This isn't just about entertainment value, I seek to participate.
The substance: mix of PC arenal volcano and PC corumba brazil, bone dry and ground to a flour, mixed with chocolate and coconut butter. Each chocolate contains almost exactly 1gram, if anything a little more.
intent is to close eyes and meditate (which I honestly have little experience). Fresh bowl of cannabis ready. I found some 3hour youtube recording of meditation music that has description about some frequencies that are supposed to activate DMT. No idea if there's anything to it but I thought it was worth experimenting with. analog watch in front of me as well as notepad for record keeping while I was able.
I had relatively empty stomach. ate an orange maybe 2+ hours prior and no other food for previous 6 hours. Just water and some lime juice.
trip begin: 2019/8/25 1:30GMT consume 1gram 1:35 consume 1gram
nice night, took the dog for a walk, by the time I got back home feeling very strong body buzz
2:01 consume 1gram 2:02 consume 1gram (total 4grams)
sitting upright on floor, back against couch.
2:07 visuals begin. Normally I'd take a toke or two of cannabis by now, but something told me to try this session without. Definitely makes a difference in everything, I'd say there's less colors and less "busy" stuff going on in the visuals, makes for not so much of a "happy" trip but it felt cleaner, more purposeful.
2:09 fractals everywhere.
the come-up was strong. I had the volume set fairly low for that meditation music but it became too annoying. All lights became annoying. in the next 5 minutes or so I struggled to move around and turn off all lights and other electronics. I sat back down on the floor where I started, shut my eyes and didn't move until 5:49GMT (over 3.5 hours)
In some ways i like spreading out the dose over 30 minutes or so because it gives the brain a chance to sort of recalibrate going into the trip. That being said, my least favorite part of the come-up is this higher pitch noise, sounds sort of insect like, but it's always there for me on the come-up and I cannot escape it. eating the full dose all at once might minimize this phase... guess I'll have to experiment later 
what happened between my ears over the next 3 hours.. was certainly different than any other of my experiences, and nothing like anything I've read or listened to. It started with some deep inner reflection. If I didn't have prior experience with bad trips, this would certainly have been a very bad trip, but I felt like it was an event like a snake shedding its' skin so it can continue to grow. Shed some tears but powered through and made it to the next phase.
The importance of the psyche I call "mine" and the physical body I call "mine" became nil. I felt strongly a co-dependence of fungi and all other life that we know. For a moment I felt like I was experiencing the neural network of the mushroom. It wasn't anything in english, but rather just feeling connected with it.
Then to the next phase:
i never got to meet or converse with another entity... but somehow felt like I was another entity and looking/feeling from it's perspective. it got a little bit unclear whether I was viewing from point of view of a variety of entities or just one. There was some mischievous grinning - mostly playful.
but then...
I felt like I unleashed a formidable beast, a beast that many try to keep caged. Again, I felt like somehow I was the beast - I wasn't afraid of it, but in fact felt like I was bringing absolute terror to whatever was around me. I say "beast" but we're talking about mushrooms and at this point I'm in the cosmos. It's not like I was raiding villages of humans. It was a convicting feeling that it's a beast that will put order back in the universe with ferocious authority because of too many personal agendas getting in the way of some greater cause and no amount of discourse would solve it; the beast instills fear and is there to take action of some sort if absolutely necessary but has no specific intent of evil that I can tell.
5:49GMT I open "my" eyes and back in that human body to the "reality" i'm more familiar with. I find my way through the dark house, find my dog and go to sleep shortly after.
this time, no weed FTW. 4grams FTW. up next: 5 grams.
-------------------- "...If you have any kind of intellectual filter at all, you quickly can satisfy yourself that our best efforts are nothing more than half completed stories told around the campfire; we don't actually know what our predicament is." -Terence McKenna
 
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