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(L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic * 1
    #26101272 -

So everything has been getting worse lately I’m afraid to sleep because of how bad the nightmares are getting, I broke two teeth now just got the last one fixed for a lot of money and the one that just happened the other day will be 700+ I have to barrow from my stepdad which is going to be shit. I’ve already been extremely broken about losing my baby  , in constant pain, very depressed and if I didn’t have friends and family right now I’d kill myself. Thank god I have that support system.

However I’ve been having constant panic attacks and daily nausea from the anxiety and it’s just becoming fucking unbearable. If I didn’t have my 6mg diluadid a day I’d be completely bed bound not to mention the twitches,extreme light sensitivity,numbness, searing hot rod being pushed into my spine. . Not prescribed though because of the fuxkin opiod national emergency horseshit. So I have to split meds with a very close family member and I always tell her I feel like shit that we have to do this and seeing me in pain all the time is hard for her but I can’t help but to feel like a useless parasite. When I say these things those she underdstands and I finally got my mri done a few days ago so I’ll be able to get help from the neck specialist I hope.

Today was another bad day of many and had to take a lot of pain meds, even as I’m typing I’m realizing I’m on a sorta high dose just because I’ve been trying to get that pain to go down.

I feel very lost, my thoughts have become rather repetitive and dark no matter how hard I try to be positive or enjoy something. Also for the first time in my life my doctors are telling me that they cannot give me the treatments they think I need. Not only what they think I need but dosages that were keeping me from constant misery and be able to live with a little quality in my life and even the meds only do so much. Ironically the opioid crisis hasn’t really effected our situation on the pain meds but with Soma they cut me 30 pills and ever since I’ve been a sharp physical decline and I was also on 4mg Xanax a day for severe panic disorder to help the ptsd episodes among many other related illnesses and they cut that to one 2mg Xanax a day. So every day of my life I have to pick out of the 3-5 panic attacks a day when do I want to be medicated shit choice. It would not be that way if I were on a proper dosage and it’s all because of President dumbshits “Notional opiod emergency” which hasn’t helped shit btw


Sorry about venting so much I’m just not in a good place.

How are y’all doing tonight?


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #26101284 -

I'm really sorry to hear that you're doing so bad, man. That sucks, and you don't deserve it at all. I hope that things start going better for you soon. You're not a useless parasite at all. You're a valued and fantastic member of this community, and I'm sure that not only do we love you, but your family also loves you. Your family member is helping you because they love you so much.

I know this is a shitty option, but you might consider taking an SSRI for a little while, they can help with the dreams quite a bit, and they might also help with the anxiety a little.

Thanks for making an LNC. I had been waiting for one, but it seemed like no one was making them anymore.

I'm doing pretty good, thanks for asking, just tired from working as usual. I wish I had more energy and more hours in the day.

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: nooneman]
    #26101290 -

Teeth shity unless you forget I'm only back into the door to the plane under his teeth


--------------------
Kno remains but you have a filter you need to give it

nge[/url

, bbb bit

Text to speech isn't the chili rizza rizza no none k

Pleading like if you take a tank Paul you would understand

And you have an appointment I see there paidd

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: nooneman]
    #26101295 -

I was just door dashing downtown on my ebike in the bike lane. While deliverings wings & two 32 oz cokes I bounced off a car breaking off the drivers side miror with my right thigh then slammed into the back of a parked SUV.

I got completely covered in coke.

Some strangers pulled my bike out from under the SUV.

My ebike is the fucking bomb. Nothing broke.

Now I'm sittiing in a message chair about to hit up the hydro message bed.


--------------------
Life. 2008

Ascension Energy | UFOs | 2021

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #26101332 -

Why is this place so quiet? I feel like we must have lost a ton of members somehow since over the last year+ that I've been gone. I used to hardly be able to keep up with all the new posts. Now I can barely find anything to post in.

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: nooneman] * 1
    #26101337 -

nooneman said:
I'm really sorry to hear that you're doing so bad, man. That sucks, and you don't deserve it at all. I hope that things start going better for you soon. You're not a useless parasite at all. You're a valued and fantastic member of this community, and I'm sure that not only do we love you, but your family also loves you. Your family member is helping you because they love you so much.

I know this is a shitty option, but you might consider taking an SSRI for a little while, they can help with the dreams quite a bit, and they might also help with the anxiety a little.

Thanks for making an LNC. I had been waiting for one, but it seemed like no one was making them anymore.

I'm doing pretty good, thanks for asking, just tired from working as usual. I wish I had more energy and more hours in the day.



Thank you so much nooneman :hug: :heart: it does help me a lot to have a friend like u and many others on here that can remind me that I’m not a lesser person because of what I’m going through or that I’ll never get it back or it won’t get better. There will always be hope for my future though with my loving family and friends irl and my shroomite family like you to remind me I matter and generally support me through these torturous time. I’ll defintely ask the next time I’m at my psychiatrist but he seems to not care to try changing anything depression insomnia meds wise but he’s litterally the only psychiatrist of my medical insurance in my area.



But yessir there  should be an LNC everynight just seems strange otherwise plus I love it because it’s really chatting about life whether it’s an EMC,MDC or LNC it’s all dropping pretense and talking about what’s going on in our lives right now. Sorry you’ve been beat and tired bro but I suppose that’s the sign of a hardworking man.


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: nooneman]
    #26101423 -

nooneman said:
Why is this place so quiet? I feel like we must have lost a ton of members somehow since over the last year+ that I've been gone. I used to hardly be able to keep up with all the new posts. Now I can barely find anything to post in.



We have lost a ton of key members here and it’s fucked. I miss chatting with MM ALL the time
I still think political debates ironically led to alot of this crap. Also the ignore feature should barely ever be used on this site unless you are a straight toddler who can’t take an opinion oppisite theirs. I believe if everyone could put politics away while we r here it’d be a better place. Right now people are getting pigeonholed into “libtard pussies” or “ Racist Nazis” after a while why continue that line of responses at all?


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: PumpJackTeX]
    #26103746 -


nooneman said:
Why is this place so quiet? I feel like we must have lost a ton of members somehow since over the last year+ that I've been gone. I used to hardly be able to keep up with all the new posts. Now I can barely find anything to post in.



This place fucking sucks now that's why.

I got banned for 10 days for calling some idoit a Nazi.

Who the fuck wants to waste their spare time here anymore?

Not me


--------------------
Life. 2008

Ascension Energy | UFOs | 2021

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: PumpJackTeX]
    #26106306 -

That's the xanax, I remember when I was addicted to snorting ritalin I would always take klonopin at the come down, I only did it for a week, but it was enough to give me withdrawals where i would have intense anxiety during the day and really fucked nightmares at night like my mother being split in half kind of nightmare.

Never touched any benzos again, the nightmares are really the worse part
You need to quit the xanax bro
I seriously don't understand why doctors precribe this, it only cures anxiety temporarily but make it way worse in the long term.

Ask your doctor for mirtazapine this medication is really amazing for insomnia and it doesnt mess your gaba receptors.

Edited by Heinrik (07/13/19 04:21 PM)

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Seriously_trippin] * 2
    #26106311 -

I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #26106318 -

I think you're actually really lucky to get xanax, dilaudid, and soma (also called the holy trinity because they way they synergize together.  The clinic I'm at doesn't even prescribe soma to anyone.  And they don't let any patients be on benzos while also on opioids (they check the stupid prescription monitoring program).  Do you take the 6mg dilaudid all at once or like 2mg every 6 hours?

Btw the weird dreams could be due to the dilaudid.  I would get the same side effect as well.  Oxycodone seems to work better with less side effects.


--------------------

Edited by AmericanPsycho (07/13/19 04:38 PM)

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Shroomslip]
    #26106338 -

Shroomslip said:
I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.



good to hear slip

and happy birthday man


--------------------
:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #26106348 -

nooneman said:
for the first time in my life my doctors are telling me that they cannot give me the treatments they think I need. Not only what they think I need but dosages that were keeping me from constant misery and be able to live with a little quality in my life and even the meds only do so much. Ironically the opioid crisis hasn’t really effected our situation on the pain meds but with Soma they cut me 30 pills and ever since I’ve been a sharp physical decline and I was also on 4mg Xanax a day for severe panic disorder to help the ptsd episodes among many other related illnesses and they cut that to one 2mg Xanax a day. So every day of my life I have to pick out of the 3-5 panic attacks a day when do I want to be medicated shit choice. It would not be that way if I were on a proper dosage and it’s all because of President dumbshits “Notional opiod emergency” which hasn’t helped shit btw



Have you showed them this recent CDC newsroom release where they discuss how doctors are misinterpreting the guidelines?

https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2019/s0424-advises-misapplication-guideline-prescribing-opioids.html


--------------------

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Nifflerz]
    #26106382 -

Niffla said:
Shroomslip said:
I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.



good to hear slip

and happy birthday man



Thanks.

I'm old ._.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Shroomslip]
    #26106384 -

Shroomslip said:
Niffla said:
Shroomslip said:
I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.



good to hear slip

and happy birthday man



Thanks.

I'm old ._.



me too buddy, me too

:feelsoldman:


--------------------
:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #26106477 -

It's not dilaudid
AmericanPsycho said:
I think you're actually really lucky to get xanax, dilaudid, and soma (also called the holy trinity because they way they synergize together.  The clinic I'm at doesn't even prescribe soma to anyone.  And they don't let any patients be on benzos while also on opioids (they check the stupid prescription monitoring program).  Do you take the 6mg dilaudid all at once or like 2mg every 6 hours?

Btw the weird dreams could be due to the dilaudid.  I would get the same side effect as well.  Oxycodone seems to work better with less side effects.




His not lucky to get xanax bro stop giving bad advice, if you think xanax is so harmless I dare you to take 2mg everyday for 10 days stop cold turkey then come back and tell me how you feel

Edited by Heinrik (07/13/19 06:06 PM)

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Shroomslip]
    #26106482 -

Shroomslip said:
I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.



Happy Birthday man! Any special plans with the wife? Any explicit drug use? :awehigh:

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Heinrik]
    #26106491 -

Heinrik said:
His not lucky to get xanax bro stop giving bad advice, if you think xanax is so harmless I dare you to take 2mg everyday for 10 days stop cold turkey then come back and tell me how you feel



I have done that in my early 20s and didn't get any withdrawal symptoms.  But there's still the option to taper off if he does get withdrawal symptoms..


--------------------

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 2
    #26106497 -

LogicaL Chaos said:
Shroomslip said:
I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.



Happy Birthday man! Any special plans with the wife? Any explicit drug use? :awehigh:



No real plans.

I don't use drugs/alcohol anymore. Been sober since January of last year.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Shroomslip]
    #26106506 -

Ok a sober birthday. Sounds like a real chill time. You gonna have cake and ice cream? What kind do you like?

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26106511 -

No cake or ice cream either. She asked if I wanted to get one, I said no. But favorite cake is probably German chocolate.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Shroomslip]
    #26106529 -

Well damn, German Chocolate is pretty dank. With that Vanilla Bean ice cream al la mode :solidnod:

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Re: (L)ately (N)ightmares becoming (C)austic [Re: Shroomslip] * 1
    #26106679 -

Shroomslip said:
LogicaL Chaos said:
Shroomslip said:
I'm just bored as shit. But I'm not at the shelter so I don't care really.

It's my birthday today and wife managed to get the weekend off, and my weekend pass got approved so I'm over here at her apartment.



Happy Birthday man! Any special plans with the wife? Any explicit drug use? :awehigh:



No real plans.

I don't use drugs/alcohol anymore. Been sober since January of last year.



Ehh it'll still be dope bday it's a day to be a little selfish :p :leocheers:


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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