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I lost a loved one today
    #26075963 -

The pain is immense. I am grateful for the opportunity to share the burden. If anyone has any song suggestions, I’m putting together a grieving playlist. I’ve found it helpful in the past. I would appreciate any recommendations. Right now I just want to hear sad stuff.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

Edited by vault123 (06/26/19 09:56 PM)

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 3
    #26075993 -

Hang in there friend. Life can be cruel and it hurts like hell -many including myself have been there. Take as much time as you need and do what you gotta do. I wish you the best... :heart:

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26075998 -

10000 days tool it’s an album he made after his mom passed and it mostly all about how he felt and  dealt with it.. you have my condolences..


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: scarabaeus] * 1
    #26076010 -

Sorry for your loss! I've lost a few close people to me and Lord know it isn't easy to cope with. People say "time heals all wounds" but it takes a long time to get over some things. I lost my Grandma almost 10 years ago and I still think about her and all she did and taught me to this day.

We have a great community here filled with people who are available to talk you through this tough time, I wish you all the best and I hope one day you find closure my friend.


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: FruitOfLife] * 1
    #26076032 -

I've come to learn that heartache is a beautiful thing. It's a deep connection with love. Every time I think I've "lost" someone, I challenge that egotistical viewpoint. Peace.

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 2
    #26076050 -

My heart goes out to you brother. Just know that we're here for you. Sending love.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26076099 -

Thanks. Thank you very much. You wouldn’t believe how happy this makes me. I can’t help but think. “Why am I still alive, when so many others I know aren’t?” It feels like we’re surrounded by death. Some how it hasn’t come for me yet.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076104 -

I’m currently building a shrine in my yard out of rocks and other stuff lol. I’ll post a pic when I’m finished with it. I haven’t been sleeping very well recently anyways.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26076157 -



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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26076160 -



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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26076181 -

vault123 said:
The pain is immense. I am grateful for the opportunity to share the burden. If anyone has any song suggestions, I’m putting together a grieving playlist. I’ve found it helpful in the past. I would appreciate any recommendations. Right now I just want to hear sad stuff.



I've never had to go through anything like that yet. But i know it's coming.

Duno what you're into. I'd probably be scoring opiates and playing nothing but classical for a few days.

Bitter:


Hopeful:


Wholeshabang:


I think the idea would be to allow whatever emotions to express themselves and meditate on the persons transition and life, trying to bridge the gap back to your own life as directly as possible, while reflecting on how you can enable a part of them to live on through your actions.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076183 -

in case anyone didn’t already know that I’m completely out of my mind. I’m sleeping by it. I just can’t do anything else right now. On the bright side. I was having some anxiety about death a few months ago. Right now that no longer bothers me. I feel like I completely got past that whole thing. Like jokeshop said I actually look forward to seeing what’s next. If it really is nothing, then I won’t care.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076185 -

Who was it, tho?


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: The_Ghost]
    #26076190 -

That is beautiful, and very heartening. I will do just that. It sucked being out in public earlier because it’s embarrassing to see a grown man get emotional in public. I’ve got my shrine now though, and my playlist, and there’s no one else around.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: The_Ghost]
    #26076191 -

I can’t say. It is not my information to share. Please be understanding.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076197 -

vault123 said:
I can’t say. It is not my information to share. Please be understanding.



Of course. All the same to me. Was just curious, and didn't make sense off-hand to not be able to share that, but I can understand having personal reasons and whatnot. We're all cut from the same fabric ultimately. Grief is just as fundamental to the human condition as love. Soon enough the tide will turn.



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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

Edited by The_Ghost (06/27/19 01:03 AM)

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076198 -

I thought these fit the mood pretty good too.





I have no idea what the artists intentions were in these songs. I would argue that it doesn’t matter.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: The_Ghost]
    #26076200 -

Life is complicated.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26076206 -

This made me think some on the concept of shrines in general. By creating a material abstraction, one enacts both a sort of communion tether that people come to expect from such sites, but also helps shed oneself of direct unexpressed attachment to whoever the shrine is addressed-to; acting as a sort of ground-wire for what may otherwise turn into pockets of static that end up getting expressed with far less elegance.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

Edited by The_Ghost (06/27/19 01:43 AM)

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: The_Ghost]
    #26076221 -

That is brilliant. You have got a talent for words.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076222 -

I’m gonna need to think about that for a little bit.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076230 -

So happy. I’m finally getting sleepy. Building the shrine did seem to release a lot inner tension that felt like it was just building and building. Now I’m getting sleepy. Sometimes I feel like I go into zombie mode and just keep dragging my body around.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076244 -

I just felt like I had to do something. I had no idea what, but something. This is certainly something.


--------------------
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076246 -

I have never built a shrine before in my life, but I’m finding it strangely comforting to be near it. It sort of feels like as long as I’m near it, time doesn’t have to continue on just yet.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26076247 -

vault123 said:
That is brilliant. You have got a talent for words.



Kind of you to say.
vault123 said:
So happy. I’m finally getting sleepy. Building the shrine did seem to release a lot inner tension that felt like it was just building and building. Now I’m getting sleepy. Sometimes I feel like I go into zombie mode and just keep dragging my body around.



Glad to hear that some sense of harmony feels at reach. Otherwise sleep would just spring away again. You should try and catch that wave if possible. Unwind the coil just a bit. Things will seem clearer tomorrow.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076292 -

Im sorry for your loss. Its always hard to deal with the loss of someone close to you :sad: Hang in there man :hug: Find some happiness in the gloom.

I hope this song makes you feel a little better:

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26076437 -

Nick Drake - Clothes of sand

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26076504 -

Rjd2- "Heres whats left"


Atmosphere- "Became"


Eyedea and Abilities- "By the Throat"


Modest Mouse- Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Heart cooks Brian



Guster- "Hang On"


Third Eye Blind- "God of Wine" and "Motorcycle Drive By"



Jimmy World- "Here you Me"


Of emo era,

Bright Eyes- "Happy, Lucky, Free"


Deathcab for cutie- I will follow you into the dark


Postal Service- "DC Sleeps Alone Tonight"


Kings Of Leon- "Closer"




GD- "Stella Blue"


Depending on your genre of choice, the Nothing is lost album by Shpongle.  The words by Terry at the end of the beginning get me every time.  7:16-28 for that piece.


Younger Brother- "Night Lead Me Astray"


Infected Mushroom- "Now is Gold"


Opiuo- "On Your Side"


Pretty Lights- "Samso"


Emancipator- "Pancakes"

"Elephant Survival"



Some spoken words of comfort:


I hope just one of these may help, my heart goes out to you.


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From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #26076536 -

When ever a friend or someone I know passes I just think to myself “well now they know” it helps to think they got let in on the secret whatever it is


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: birdeatingspider] * 1
    #26076563 -

Some great songs there BES. That's really kind of you to go to that effort.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076578 -

Hang in there vault! My condolences.:heart:


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26076579 -







These three songs have special meaning to me. Hope they help you a little :sunny::peace:


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

Edited by Thayendanegea (06/27/19 08:24 AM)

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: Thayendanegea] * 1
    #26076588 -

Awesome set of songs there!:heart: Wish you were here puts a lump in my throat, happy and sad one.


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26076663 -



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High as hell and low as heaven will go.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: The_Ghost] * 3
    #26077045 -

You were right.



I slept nine hours straight. I can’t remember the last time I slept that long. It was deep sleep too. I had the wildest dreams though. The most interesting part is that no matter how many years go by, it is still striking the difference in perspective morning brings. Especially after a good nights sleep.

I was in rough shape last night. It sort of felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on me. Today is much better.

I’m donating to the shroomery. This place is awsome. It needs to be funded as a public utility.


--------------------
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26077066 -

:heart: YAY!


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26077076 -

The craziest part is, it was all natural sleep. For years I’ve relied on otc sleep aids like Benadryl and melatonin. I had none of those last night and I slept amazingly.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26077090 -

Very good! I need at least 7 hours or more of sleep.


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26077235 -

Sorry to hear man. My condolences to you and your family.

I got lots of tunes to share but am on my phone so it's tough to link properly. But here is some good quality music. Hope you find something you vibe with :cool:

Land of talk- it's okay


Anathema - Untouchable


Moving mountains- an Ode we will bury ourselves


Live - lightning crashes


Trifonic - sooner or later

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26077255 -

vault123 said:
You were right.



I slept nine hours straight. I can’t remember the last time I slept that long. It was deep sleep too. I had the wildest dreams though. The most interesting part is that no matter how many years go by, it is still striking the difference in perspective morning brings. Especially after a good nights sleep.

I was in rough shape last night. It sort of felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on me. Today is much better.

I’m donating to the shroomery. This place is awsome. It needs to be funded as a public utility.



:loveheart:


--------------------
/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: The_Ghost]
    #26077392 -



--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: Shroomslip]
    #26078108 -

How are you ?


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: Shroomterd]
    #26087600 -

Good. Thanks for asking. I haven't slept very well since the last time I posted about it. I've been up since about 2:00 A.M. this morning. No sleep in sight right now. It's not all from the loss. It's partly due to back problems, and just having a lot to think about recently.

I try to see the good in any situation. In this case I feel like I've found a renewed purpose and motivation. There's a recession coming.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26093325 -

Man so it’s been like a lot of ups and downs. Like I’m up for a while and feel great, then like a few hours later I’m crashing again. The strangest thing. I’ve seen other people grove in similar ways before so I’m not totally shocked by it. Just that it is different to be the one going through it.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26093521 -

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now.

It may seem impossible right now, but it will get better over time. Just remember, what you're feeling and going through right now isn't going to last forever. There are going to be many good times in your future when you're happy and enjoying yourself, no matter how bad you feel today. It's just going to take time to get there.

I hope you feel better soon, man.

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: nooneman]
    #26093628 -

I lost my brother on Christmas from of of Valium and opanaa in 2012


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Bring your love baby Imma bring my Shame Bring the drugs baby Imma bring my pain


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: nooneman]
    #26094667 -

nooneman said:
I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now.

It may seem impossible right now, but it will get better over time. Just remember, what you're feeling and going through right now isn't going to last forever. There are going to be many good times in your future when you're happy and enjoying yourself, no matter how bad you feel today. It's just going to take time to get there.

I hope you feel better soon, man.



True words! Can confirm as I've lived it myself. You 100% will bounce back and it will get better over time, you just gotta hold on and tread water for a bit. Just understand that better days and times are on their way and this is only temporary :cool;

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: Shroom_guy4]
    #26101719 -

I have relatives in from out of town staying in my house with me right now. I’ve been avoiding them for two days. I have to come out and see them today. I feel a bit embarrassed for avoiding them for two days, but I was in no position to entertain anyone recently. I figure I’ll get my workout in like I usually do.

That usually puts me in a good mood. Then I’ll come out and say hello. I’ve never met these particular relatives before, but I’ve heard really good things about them. They’re the best kind of people from what I heard so I feel a bit bad for avoiding them so much. I literally sneaked out my back door to my house and got in my car so I didn’t have to pass them the first day they got here. I’m sure they’ll be understanding.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26101765 -

I could sneak out the back again today. They’re going to be here a while though so I can’t keep this up forever. They’re going to be here a little while so I just need to get it over with. After my workout.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26101802 -

If they are any kind of caring loving understanding people, they will understand and respect your actions and you.:heart:


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26101809 -

Thanks man


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26101873 -

Ok, here goes.

Courage music!



What’s the worst that could happen...right?...lol.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26101912 -

Ok these people are super cool. I thought they would be. I just quickly greeted on my way to the shower. I got that out of the way though that is the worst part.  Ow I feel much better about sitting and chatting for however long they would like.


--------------------
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26101913 -

I talk pretty fast, especially if I’m nervous. I have them the warmest friendliest smile and greeting I could muster. Which is usually pretty good. I slipped in one snarky remark about relatives that everyone laughed at that I feel a bit bad about now, but I’ll make up for it. I’ll win them over over breakfast.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123]
    #26101920 -

YAY! Awesome! Keep on keepin' on!:heart:


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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 3
    #26114481 -

No need to over think things. It's going to be what it's going to be. You sound like a good natured guy with good intentions so I would say that it's going to be all good regardless of what you do or say amigo

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: Shroom_guy4] * 2
    #26116417 -

Thanks. Starting to get back on my feet again. The swings are becoming less dramatic. I actually got a lot done today. I didn’t sleep real well, but pretty good by my recent standards. I still got up early. 5:00 AM this morning. Got a lot done today, but man I am smoked. I just gotta grind out a few more hours till I can take a break. Championship rounds.


--------------------
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

Edited by vault123 (07/18/19 04:58 PM)

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26116419 -

The relatives left a few days ago. I think it went pretty well. These are the kind of people who will make you believe it did no matter what though. All I can go off of is what they told me though and they only had good things to say the whole time. So I’ll take that as a win all things considered lol.


--------------------
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Judge Aaron Satie

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Re: I lost a loved one today [Re: vault123] * 1
    #26118443 -

I hear ya, me myself I just take things at face value, give people the benefit of the doubt. If I have no reason to question things then it's all good. And if they're hiding something or not being upfront then that's a them problem. Sounds like things are going well :cool:

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