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Offlinecrk
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Registered: 06/23/19
Posts: 1
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
A Journey Towards Psychedelics and Beyond. * 1
    #26068688 - 06/23/19 02:43 AM (4 years, 9 months ago)

Around 12 years ago upon the arrival of a psy-trance party somewhere in the hills of northern NSW Australia i was given an unknown quantity of liquid LSD.
This was the scariest experience i have ever encountered, humans morphed into large praying mantis's and it was as if the lights of the party was a glow light attractor for the humanoid bugs whom were trying to lead me towards the light so that they could devour me, turns out it was just my friends who had dosed me tyring to coax me off the roadway down towards the party, after an incident which involved my friend diving through my car window pulling the
keys out and running away due to me trying to start the car and get away from the giant praying mantis's i finally submitted to my friends requests who were desperately trying to calm me down, In the party I had a bizarre experience following an ever elusive and stunningly beautiful women who i thought was cleo patra, only to find out i was stalking some poor girl around the dance floor. I then proceeded to have what could only be described as a panic attack and spent the night locked up in my car, foetal position on the back seat under a blanket completely awake my only memories of that night from here are fear and psychosis.
So for years i tried to wipe my 1st psychedelic experience from my mind and tried not to mentioned this story due to the unknown nature of what
happened that night, i also had no desire to try any chemical drugs whatsoever after this traumatic episode.

Around 2 years ago my life started to change dramatically, after a culmination of circumstances all of the sudden i had a spike in interest towards human psychology and the evolution of human consciousness, i stumbled across some intriguing research done by Dr Clare W Graves through a man called Steve. Steve travels the world talking about Dr Graves work, and as part of his talk he mentions how psychedelics can help with something he
termed "the change process".
After recognising this process occurring within myself, and society, my interest in consciousness turned into somewhat of an obsession
which for better or worse lead me towards psychedelics, terrence mckenna, stoned ape theory, dmt and psilocybin/ lsd studies, of course all related to
consciousness and very interesting topics in their own right.
I am now ready to revisit this space, and with a reset world view i attempt to use it to help better my understanding of the nature of my reality and spiral up through the change process hopefully helping to evolve my consciousness along the way.

It was 6 weeks ago i was at the stage in my research into psychedelics where i was ready to experiment, i was in fact very eager to delve my mind into the
relative unknown of hallucinations and the psychedelic realm.
As so often appears to be the way in life the universe provides everything we need, literally the 1st cow paddock i went into looking for the golden teacher(psilocybe cubensis) they were their, growing perfectly in random cow dungs all over the place and for the next 4 weeks me and a like minded work colleague were able to accumulate 3 or 4 ounces each before the season finished and winter began to kick in, thus ending the perfect weather conditions that are required for these magical golden teachers to grow.
Over these 6 weeks i tried many different doses of these magical shrooms with the intent of understanding and gauging the varying effects of the experiences.
My doses ranged from microdosing 0.5grams on multiple random occasions, to having 2g 3g 4g 5g 7g and 9g dose's all dried cubensis, last weekend was the most profound dose(9g) and experience so far.
I am going to report on the 3g and the 9g trips as they were by far the most intense trips with the most profound experiences.

2nd May 2019 The 3g Trip
This was the 2nd time i had what i would classify as a psychedelic experience.
I consume 3g of powered shrooms with orange juice around 7pm, 30mins later as the effect of the psilocin begins to kick in all of my senses are beginning to heighten... smells, sounds, visuals and touch all sensations seem enhanced, This trip was spent laying on the couch in my lounge room with My partner sitting opposite me just in case anything went wrong (i was still nervous of bad trips at this stage) and headphones in my ears playing meditative frequency music to try and enhance the experience, after some time of laying down eyes closed i started getting feelings of being upside down feet in the air hanging in space, i would then start going up through my body to the standing position before spinning back upside again, this repeated perpetually for a while before i realized i was under what i thought was some sort of cloud or icesheet ( I now believe this was what i would call a field a consciousness) at the time i was unable to completely decipher exactly what this was but i knew it was significant in some way, i felt myself slipping up into and out of what i now call the consciousness field trying to float over to my partner and share the experience with her, once i was in the field i was only able to drop out again confused and feeling strange that i was unable to reach her.
I remember i went through a period after this where i felt that my body was morphing into what looked like a cartoon hotdog bun with eyes and a pointy sausage nose which moved, sliding up and down the bun laughing at me as i watched this from a third person perspective... strangely i felt like i actually was the cartoon hotdog bun.
This was the majority of the intensity of the trip that i remember i slowly started just getting random patterns on the edges of my peripherals with eyes closed, i remember moving my head chasing the patterns which seemed to be coloured although impossible to catch, as i open my eyes i am staring straight at the ceiling and the cornices starts to slide with the ceiling causing a nausea feeling, i close my eyes again and wait for the trip to come down.
Random thoughts fill my head mostly primal shit that reminds me of the devil on ya shoulder character always trying to please himself.
After a while i feel like im back its about 1030, my mind is massively stimulated for a few hours and i am unable to calm my thoughts for bed, this was a thoroughly enjoyable experience that i am still contemplating and integrating it into my frame of reference today.

14th June 2019 The 9g Trip
This was my last trip before writing this report.....i felt like i wasnt progressing any further until now, i had doses including 4g 5g and even a 7g without surpassing the previous 3g trip had weeks ago, plus they all seemed to be kinda the same. After reading up on shroomery i realised my tolerance was likely built up due to random microdoses and the regularity of use, so i decided i needed to wait a week to try to eliminate any tolerance i had built up and try to intensify my experience.
I must say it seemed to have the desired effect....I consumed 9 grams dried of my freshest picked shrooms in hope of least amount of degradation, obviously i have no idea if that played a role or it was just that my tolerance was down and i took a supposed heroic 9 grams, regardless this trip was by far my most profound experience of this initial experiment and has prompted me to document it due to the strange nature of my perception of this psychedelic experience.

Things started out like all my other doses, cold chills and the stoned feeling creeping on as visuals and sound begin to enhance, my thoughts begin to wander as i tinker around the kitchen smoking some cannabis, i decide its time to find a comfort zone, i lay down on the lounge completely covered by a warm blanket.
Again this is very similar to my previous trips my thoughts start examining the sensations my body is feeling, whenever this happens i get this lightbulb moment where it appears although different layers of consciousness become dominant, my mind begins to trigger primal thoughts, urges, feelings and desires things like uncontrollable happiness, strong sexual urges, egocentric thinking with a sense of power and lack of care for how i am perceived.
As i acknowledge this and fulfil these sensations through physical acts and mental imaginations i move on to the absolutistic consciousness, my thoughts move to all the rules i have to follow and how by doing this i am keeping my life in some sort of order, this is also where i start thinking of my family and how much i love them and have realisations that all these rules i follow are for us.
Multiplistic consciousness comes and my thoughts turn back to myself and how i need worry about my future and how i must better myself, taking psychedelics,education and time management seem crucial as i mull over life options and how i can navigate through them to achieve the most desirable results, i see myself as a speaker but not till im older and get a sense of impatience.
All these thoughts spin through my head and b4 i know it relativistic thinking starts and everything ive previously been dwelling on seems insignificant in fact i get angry that i have wasted energy on these things and start cursing myself before realising life conditions are generating this..."fuck life conditions".. wait my consciousness generate my life conditions...i can change this but it seems like so much hard work, its meant to be hard, i need a team, that seems impossible to me, i know only 1 like minded human and the friendship is still new, about now is when sadness creeps in, suicidal thoughts and anger at society i know these negative
thoughts are not beneficial and decide to get back to nature, picturing myself in a jungle in lifes natural environment, the texture and definitions, the smells fascinate and envlope me the sense of connectedness overwhelms me as i view the world from above, electrical energy fills my body, i stand up off the lounge and begin pacing around the room animating my fingers as if electricity oozes out my fingertips, systemic thoughts about the nature of everything and my role to play in this rhythmic system flood my mind causing dizziness and nausea, this forces me to go back to the lounge where i close my eyes and try to relax, shortly after this i get the wave wash over me and i begin to float into the consciousness field i visual my son sleeping on the other side of the wall my daughter down the hall in her bed and Ash in
our room, as i visualize this i feel myself floating down the hallway, and when i say myself i dont mean my physical body...that was still laying on the lounge, it was my thoughts, my consciousness wanting to enter my sons, daughters and partners consciousness, i felt like i could communicate with them this way, i felt love for them so strong that all i wanted to do was express that love directly through consciousness no words seemed required this was so profound because it felt so real, i truly felt like i had the power of telepathy or something, i looked around in this consciousness field and saw everything within my frame of reference, all that i could perceive
had consciousness and all could be found and communicated with through the field, i had no interest in doing this though my family was enough once i had finished expressing myself to my loved ones i returned to the couch and my body where i distinctly remember feeling like i had come down and the effects began to taper off, or so i thought.
Once i was kinda awake again i sat up and opened my eyes looking at the curtain the patterns starting moving and the rainbow colours looked fluorescent, watching this was weird and all of the sudden my vision glitches like a computer monitor flickering and i get a daunting sensation, i feel like ive just entered the future or some kind of alternate/parallel universe as i drift my mind over my surroundings everything seems different even my birds eye view in my head of the area i live has changed and then i kinda panic, thoughts of despair, this feels permanent like ive changed everything and their is no going back, i apologize to Ash and the kids repeatedly not knowing what possible effects i have had on them or if they even exist in this reality i get up and confirm their presence before returning to the
lounge confused, saddened...distressed. Again i start thinking about death i have this deep realization that death is just the beginning of a new life, a life in a realm infinitely more real than this one i think about what it would be like to be there and how homely it seems before snapping myself outta it thinking about my responsibilities in this human life i have created, "dont be selfish" i tell myself. I stand myself up and spend the next 30mins watching the clock having random thoughts feeling wired and stimulated thinking over all the things ive been doing this past 2 years and how different i have become, i realize that this is a personal
journey im on, not just a psychedelic one, and i realize that everything that has led me to this point is exactly what i needed to be doing with my life to get me here, We can truly do no wrong, everything happens for a reason, the universe provides all we need, love is the key.


Peace.

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