Home | Community | Message Board

Kratom Eye
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: MagicBag.co Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags by Magic Bag   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice
    #26020527 -

Hi,

I really struggled to title this thread properly within the limited number of characters :P


Anyway, here's a summary of what is happening:

Around a month ago I had a train-wreck trip on an accidentally high (>100mg) dose of 4-HO-MET - I ended up in hospital with minor injuries resulting from jumping in front of cars, off of walls, etc...


You can read the whole, detailed trip report here if you like:
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/25994399

Mentally and physically, during my waking hours, I have been feeling really good and positive after the bad trip - It may just be relief that I'm still alive, I don't know.

But the problem is... My sleep is not so good.


It's worth mentioning at this point that I am taking kratom every day, but no other drugs, no alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, prescription drugs, or anything.
Nor am I withdrawing from anything. I quit a daily morphine habit (also about a month ago) and switched to kratom, but I don't think that is relevant as opiate withdrawals don't cause this kind of shit as far as I know, and anyway, the withdrawals are long gone.



It all began the first night I got home, out of hospital (I had been in hospital for about 3 days after the trip);
I was not taking kratom even at this point...
Just as I was about to fall asleep, I kept getting sleep paralysis, and I would try to shake myself out of it.
This happened a few times, then the final time I became paralysed as usual, and I heard a loud pulsing high-pitched noise, and my vision flashed bright red to black in time with the noise.

The sound was maybe around 1kHz in frequency, and each pulse lasted maybe half a second...
Half a second on, half a second off, etc.

This went on for only a few seconds, and I involuntarily shouted aloud as I felt like I was dying.

Startled, but writing it off as a residual effect of the psychedelic, I rolled over in bed and fell asleep.

Since then, various odd things have been happening.

Almost every night, I have been having at least one episode of sleep paralysis, and I have been having very vivid dreams.

Before the 4-HO-MET trip, I had dreams, and they were always the same kind - The content would vary, but it would always be that I would wake up and then I would be able to remember the dream... I have never actually felt like I was conscious during the dream, you know?

Only in my memory did the dreams exist; And if it had been a bad dream, the memory might be unpleasant, but that was it.

I thought the whole concept of dreams so vivid you actually live through them was a myth, made up for movies and such like where a person pinches themself to check if they are dreaming.

Until now.

I've had three of these dreams so far; The first one was the only dream I've ever had involving a false awakening; I woke up in the dream, in my bed, exactly as if it were real... Various things happened, and I ended up talking to my Dad.

Suddenly I was unable to speak, then I began to choke and I was unable to breathe, then as I would have died in the dream, I woke up in consensus reality.

I had actually been conscious in the dream, and I believed it was real; I didn't expect to wake up, and the dream had been just as real as the reality I woke up into...

I had another dream like this, but it wasn't particularly frightening so I'll skip this one.

Almost every night I have been having sleep paralysis, but not always these dreams.

Then, last night, I was having sleep paralysis again, but this time I found myself shaking violently as it took hold; I would try to break out of it and get up out of bed, and this worked every time.

In one of the episodes of paralysis, I heard some vivid auditory hallucinations; My parents were having a conversation... I can remember every word they said, and it was so real that I thought they were actually in the room.

Anyway, I eventually did fall asleep, and I ended up having a horrific dream that was basically a flashback of the trip, with some sleep paralysis and psychosis thrown in, and I woke up screaming that I was dying.

Again, it felt as real as reality...

A little history:

I have had occasional sleep paralysis throughout my life, maybe 2 or 3 times a year, never this much.
I've never had persistent insomnia, never had dreams like this, I've never felt these tremors during sleep paralysis, never had these seizure-like effects either.



I've maybe had 50 separate episodes of sleep paralysis over the past month, and the seizure-like things seem to have happened 5 or 6 times, and the weird dreams about 3 times, but I can't be sure exactly.


Even having slept only 4 hours last night, I still feel very good at the moment, I'm really just not looking forward to going through all that again when I try to sleep tonight.

I apologize for the fragmented nature of this post, I just wanted to get all the details written down and posted before I die in a dream and never come back from it. Lol.

The examples I have given may not seem like that big of a deal, but the combination of all these things just makes for a really terrifying experience, I can't take much more of these dreams or the feeling of impending death every night.


So I'm just looking for advice about what I should do really.

I am tempted to smoke some weed to suppress the dreams but I'm not sure it would be a good idea in terms of the seizures and stuff...?


Do you think these are seizures of some sort, or is it just an effect of sleep paralysis?
I highly doubt the latter to be honest, as I've never experienced these effects before, nor can I find them mentioned online relating to sleep paralysis.

Is there likely to be any danger here, or is it just distressing?



I actually have anxiety which is why I take kratom, the only other thing that works for my anxiety is gabapentin which is an anti-epileptic; So I guess if I do have epilepsy or something, they might prescribe gabapentin, and that would kill two birds with one stone.


Finally, do you think there is any chance that kratom is exacerbating or causing these effects?

(I have used kratom millions of times before, with nothing other than the occasional hypnogogic imagery)


Thank you so much for reading this.


--------------------
"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen

"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: PoisonousLookalike] * 1
    #26022125 -

That sounds like typical, albeit intense, sleep paralysis. Your RC experience may have something to do with it, either neurologically or psychologically-  Anxiety about the bad trip feeding more anxiety and sleep disturbances that make you even more anxious. I think a lot of people who have bad trips worry that they have somehow fucked themselves up permanently.

google kratom and sleep paralysis. It definitely seems to be something people are reporting. You already seem predisposed to it and psychoactive compounds and withdrawal can induce attacks. If you were a long term opiate addict, then I might suggest it could be withdrawal related. Studies have shown that opiates can suppress nacroleptic type sleep disorders, so withdrawal may cause rebound.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice *DELETED* [Re: koods]
    #26051729 -

Post deleted by PoisonousLookalike

Reason for deletion: Accidental double-post


--------------------
"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen

"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
    #26051739 -



Whoops. I think my brain has liquefied; I thought I had responded to this. Sorry :/

Yes, I've gathered a bit more information since my post, and what you are saying seems spot on.

I would agree that it is sleep paralysis, and not seizures, so that's good, however it is not getting better.


I have found out that the horrific vivid dreams were caused/worsened by my pre-bed kratom dose; I have cut that out, now my final dose is 4 hours before bed, and the dreams are now back to normal.

I took a week off of kratom (which was a bit dull to say the least) and the withdrawals were less than expected considering I take up to 20g per day, but even by the end of the week I noticed no improvement or worsening of the sleep paralysis; But with a great deal more tiredness during the day which has been caused by the disturbed sleep but which kratom suppresses wonderfully.

So now I am back to taking kratom, but without the pre-bed dosing, and the problem is still there.


As for your idea about opiate withdrawal, I think you may be on to something.

I have tried various drugs at my disposal to see if anything helps the problem, here are my results:

Alcohol - May slightly lessen sleep paralysis but worsens sleep quality.
Gabapentin - Seems to almost completely get rid of the problem, and improve sleep too.
Kava - Makes it easier to fall asleep but seems to greatly worsen dreams and sleep paralysis.
L-theanine - Same as kava.
Hash brownie - Improves sleep, suppresses dreams of any sort, seems to slightly lessen sleep paralysis.
Kratom - As said above, worsens dreams but doesn't seem to affect sleep paralysis.
Codeine - Improves the problem for a short time but codeine has a short half-life so the sleep paralysis returns by 5am.
Poppy tea - Completely gets rid of any sleep paralysis, nasty dreams, or sleep problems of any sort.


I was using poppy tea daily for around 8 months, I quit 1.5 months ago and switched to kratom.
The acute withdrawals were not particularly bad and I had no sleep problems, especially with kratom to help me.

Within a week I was wishing I had quit ages ago because kratom was almost as good and didn't have the same side-effects.

Unfortunately I have since "lost" that good batch of kratom and the stuff I am now using is not quite so good but anyway that's another story.


As for the frequency, I typically get sleep paralysis at least once per night, sometimes ten times, rarely do I get a whole night without it.
It tends to occur early in the morning (if I go to bed at 0000 I will usually sleep through to 0600 without problems, and then as I drift in and out of sleep it will happen numerous times before, say, 0900)

This may suggest that it is caused by the lack of kratom during that period, but then again it may simply be due to the fact that I am not sleeping so deeply at that time due to having already slept.


It tends to occur, almost always, when I am fully awake and waiting for sleep.
Sometimes it's hard to even notice it, as it is just paralysis (one time I was listening to some Townes Van Zandt and then I realized I couldn't move, lol, so it happens even with sensory input and when in a seemingly non-sleepy state)

But other times it is accompanied by a popping sound in my ears, sometimes a loud tearing sound (like, I imagine, the tearing of the veil on a breakthrough dose of DMT...), and sometimes it's accompanied by strong feelings of physical warmth, almost euphoria, sometimes a sinking or falling sensation, a feeling of being under-water, sometimes strong tingling sensations in part or all of my body, and rarely more complex auditory or visual hallucinations, and one time a tactile hallucination where I thought someone was holding my hand.

Thankfully none of these have involved frank hallucinations of demons or shadow men, for which I am eternally grateful.


Despite my period of abstinence, I still wonder if the serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine reuptake effects of kratom have anything to do with it.


I really do not want to quit kratom though, as it helps me a lot.

It's like everything is telling me to go back to my seemingly non-harmful opium habit which I quit mainly due to reasons of constipation and similar problems.
Is this a message from God telling me to return to taking opiates and quit kratom?

Lol I do of course realise that that sounds like typical addict logic, so I say it as a joke, although the facts do speak for themselves.

Who knows.


--------------------
"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen

"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake

Edited by PoisonousLookalike (06/16/19 10:23 AM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
    #26053087 -

Hey man, what you’re describing is exactly what I was getting when having pretty severe alcohol withdrawls (it was bad I was having seizures).  Even the timeline matches up.  I’d get all my fuckery during the waking up process.  I don’t think that was because it was the longest period between drinks I think it was because of the actual process of my brain waking up.  Some sort of switch it was making from sleep to awake.

Looking at what goes on there it’s deregulated gaba so I thought I’d throw out there that you may have damaged or severely thrown the balance of all that out of wack.  I know absolutely nothing about the inner workings of 4-ho-dmt.  As far as kratom, when I take too much I get the shakes pretty bad so I’ve suspected for awhile now that it may play with gaba somehow but I haven’t looked it up, I just try not to take so much.

I’ve tried a few things that affect gaba when it wasn’t balanced but everything I came up with always eventually caused more problems than it helped so I’m out of ideas on that one.  So, that may give you an idea of where to look, but as far as a fix a doctor will know better.

For what it’s worth though I feel your pain man(I think).  I’ve not met too many people who can grasp what it’s like going through all that and what comes with it etc.  Keep us posted on how things are going and if I come across anything I’ll let you know..


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: Amanita86]
    #26055664 -

Amanita86 said:
Hey man, what you’re describing is exactly what I was getting when having pretty severe alcohol withdrawls (it was bad I was having seizures).  Even the timeline matches up.  I’d get all my fuckery during the waking up process.  I don’t think that was because it was the longest period between drinks I think it was because of the actual process of my brain waking up.  Some sort of switch it was making from sleep to awake.

Looking at what goes on there it’s deregulated gaba so I thought I’d throw out there that you may have damaged or severely thrown the balance of all that out of wack.  I know absolutely nothing about the inner workings of 4-ho-dmt.  As far as kratom, when I take too much I get the shakes pretty bad so I’ve suspected for awhile now that it may play with gaba somehow but I haven’t looked it up, I just try not to take so much.

I’ve tried a few things that affect gaba when it wasn’t balanced but everything I came up with always eventually caused more problems than it helped so I’m out of ideas on that one.  So, that may give you an idea of where to look, but as far as a fix a doctor will know better.

For what it’s worth though I feel your pain man(I think).  I’ve not met too many people who can grasp what it’s like going through all that and what comes with it etc.  Keep us posted on how things are going and if I come across anything I’ll let you know..




Hey,

Thanks for the nice reply : )

Yeah I agree, it's probably due to the stages of sleep rather than the duration of abstinence.
I'm glad you're better now though.


Yeah, GABA seems to suppress seizures and the lack of it (due to downregulating your GABA receptors by taking a GABAergic drug and then rapidly stopping) seems to cause seizures and a lot of nasty shit.

I have not noticed any help or hindrance caused by alcohol, however I did take 600mg of gabapentin and that seemed to diminish the sleep problems.

4-HO-MET is seemingly just a pure serotonergic psychedelic just like most tryptamines, but no one really knows, they can just guess, I guess.
I may be wrong, there may have been scientific studies into the receptors affected by 4-HO-MET, but I doubt it.

It's also worth noting that I had taken some kratom 1 or 2 hours before taking the psychedelic.

I've done plenty of research into the possible conflict between psychedelics and kratom, and I came to the conclusion that the worst outcome is that the kratom will dull the trip slightly.

Sure enough, I have taken shrooms on kratom in the past and, although the visuals were unchanged, the lovely familiar shroom headspace was all but gone.


Ahh yes the hideous kratom overdose.
I used to love white and green kratom but lately I've been finding it just stimulates me too much so I prefer reds now, even in the morning.

In the case of taking too much, especially a white strain, it seems to cause pretty violent shaking (not so much violent, but severe, I'd say), dizziness, dysphoria and just a yucky feeling.
Kind of like the feeling I got when I made tobacco tea :rolleyes:
Personally I suspect these effects might have something to do with the serotonin effects of kratom, as I've found antidepressants and serotonergics like kanna also give me that "washed-out" feeling.
Kind of like the colour has faded or has been taken out of everything (metaphorically).

You probably know exactly what I mean, that's what's awesome about people like us having such conversations, we always know what eachother is talking about :P


Anyway sorry I got carried away there (just took some kratom, go figure)


It's unfortunate that GABA drugs are some of the most dangerous out there :frown:
I don't have any benzos on hand unfortunately, or perhaps it's a good thing as they might help a lot and I might be tempted to keep using them.

If I had access to unlimited amounts of gabapentin I would probably take it, but then again even before these sleep problems I still wouldn't say no to gabapentin, it's a lovely anxiolytic (and I've tried almost every drug that might help anxiety, gabapentin is the only non-opioid that I don't hate)


I have been off of morphine for about 50 days, taking only kratom, so obviously my opiate tolerance should be at zero by now, and the acute withdrawal stage should be well and truly done.

That in mind, I took around 50mg of morphine (in the form of poppy tea) a few days ago (just for scientific purposes, of course, wink wink), and as I said in the first post, it cured the sleep problems entirely.
I took that dose three days in a row (I had officially run out of pods but I managed to find 30g by sieving the little pieces of pod out of the trash bags of seeds I have lol) and for those three days I was free of sleep paralysis or anything nasty.


I also think it's a little bit psychosomatic, as sometimes the paralysis occurs within seconds of my thinking "oh, I haven't had any paralysis yet tonight..."


Thank you my friend.
Yeah, I don't want to sound like a baby so I tend to downplay it a bit, even to myself, but the whole bad trip was far more traumatic than I had ever imagined the worst trip could be.

The memory of it is actually even scarier now that some time has passed.
I hate to say it as it sounds cliched but I feel violated. Lol.
It's like that "rapey" feeling some people report during trips; I didn't understand it until now.

I remember being grabbed and manhandled by lots of invisible hands; It was very personal and invasive somehow; And then I was actually manhandled out of my friend's flatmate's room, so that didn't help.
When he was pushing me out of his room I literally clung on to the doorframe with both hands, I only remembered that recently.


And I remember a hallucination of a person who looked like A but wasn't (A was at the other side of the room saying the same things over and over).
The hallucination was unbearably ugly in some manner, not in appearance but the whole thing.
He sort of represented the worst of humanity.
He was aggressive, impatient, intolerant, ignorant, etc, and the conversations I had with this hallucination are how I got this impression of his personality.


And then there was the bit when I walked out of A's flat.

I have to emphasise how the whole thing was characterized by a lot of physical pain; Being manhandled by demons, being pushed out of the room, smashing glass in my hands, punching solid objects, etc.

I remember, as I said in the trip report, there was a point where I felt like I was being tortured in some hideous manner only possible in Hell.
With metal objects shoved in various places, metal hooks stuck in my body, horrible things stuck down my throat, blood everywhere, a horrible ripping pain.

And I was sort of aware at this time, so I was like, shit, this is real, I've ended up in Hell for all my bad deeds, and this is it, there's no bargaining out of it, I'm stuck here in unimaginable pain forever.

I felt so helpless, I couldn't move, etc, I thought this was gonna be it for eternity.


Also another thing is that the places I went to were not nice; And the trip just emphasised it, but that part was real.

Everything was metal and concrete.
It was dark, and cold, and everywhere was dark, doors were locked shut, no one helped me, they just walked around, all hard concrete surfaces, I don't remember seeing a single tree.

And this was the way it was in the city, I've always disliked that sort of urban Hell but this just showed me how awful it is.

I can't help but wonder if, had I seen a single tree to remind me I wasn't in Hell, that I would be in a totally different place right now :P



From a psychological perspective (and I'm no expert in psychology), I'd say part of the sleep problems stem from my new found fear of death or similar states.

When I woke up in hospital I was infinitely relieved to be alive, and I was suddenly terrified of death, or anything that might cause loss of ego.

I guess I'm like one of those people who take a psychedelic and their ego comes back stronger than ever, haha.

Either way, I feel a lot lighter as a result of it, I guess you could call it an afterglow, the joy of simply being alive is still present after the trip.


And sleep is another form of losing the ego, so maybe I'm subconsciously just trying too hard to hang on. IDK.

Anyway this is what kratom does, makes me type endless nonsense :smile:


Thanks again for replying; Any suggestions are much appreciated, and so too is the feeling of having someone to relate to.

Take care.


--------------------
"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen

"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
    #26058325 -

need to run more
get it out of your system
don't mess with psychs
there's a reason people have different personality types from them
not in excess and not more than once a year
weed is pretty mild in comparison but the effects are kind of there if you do it for a few months

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: PoisonousLookalike]
    #26062168 -

PoisonousLookalike said:
Nor am I withdrawing from anything. I quit a daily morphine habit (also about a month ago) and switched to kratom, but I don't think that is relevant as opiate withdrawals don't cause this kind of shit as far as I know, and anyway, the withdrawals are long gone.




I quit Kratom cold turkey 3 weeks ago, after a multi-year moderate daily habit.  The withdrawals from Kratom are no joke, don't let anyone tell you differently either.  It's not like coffee, blah blah...  You've simply just delayed the morphine withdrawal by using another opiate...Kratom.  You will have to pay the piper when you stop Kratom.  It's doable and not too terrible, I've had experience with various opiates going back over a decade. 

I too bought into the BS about Kratom being a safe alternative, etc.  It's propaganda I hate to say.  Hell, back in 2012 I sold hundreds of kilos of the stuff and believed it was harmless as well.  It's lowered my testerstone, made my hair thin drastically, killed my sex drive and killed my emotions.

Tread carefully friend

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: 1 month after a bad RC trip - Having paralysis, seizures, etc, when trying to sleep - Need advice [Re: TekLogiX]
    #26063595 -

TekLogiX said:
PoisonousLookalike said:
Nor am I withdrawing from anything. I quit a daily morphine habit (also about a month ago) and switched to kratom, but I don't think that is relevant as opiate withdrawals don't cause this kind of shit as far as I know, and anyway, the withdrawals are long gone.




I quit Kratom cold turkey 3 weeks ago, after a multi-year moderate daily habit.  The withdrawals from Kratom are no joke, don't let anyone tell you differently either.  It's not like coffee, blah blah...  You've simply just delayed the morphine withdrawal by using another opiate...Kratom.  You will have to pay the piper when you stop Kratom.  It's doable and not too terrible, I've had experience with various opiates going back over a decade. 

I too bought into the BS about Kratom being a safe alternative, etc.  It's propaganda I hate to say.  Hell, back in 2012 I sold hundreds of kilos of the stuff and believed it was harmless as well.  It's lowered my testerstone, made my hair thin drastically, killed my sex drive and killed my emotions.

Tread carefully friend



Thanks for the advice.

Yeah I totally agree; I'm not saying that kratom is unsafe, but all the propaganda you find on r/kratom and such places is obviously partly or wholly false.
The Nazi moderators on there even ban people who mention bad side-effects.

Personally I think it is quite physically safe (just like heroin is...) and the effects on testosterone etc are not necessarily doing damage; I'm pretty gay anyway so I don't need a whole lot of testosterone. Lol.

The thing is, I didn't begin daily using morphine for fun, I did it because opioids are the only thing that makes me feel that life is worth living;
And I've tried a whole lot of drugs and non-drug "solutions".

Then I switched to kratom, not as a way to make the withdrawals from morphine easier, but as a pseudo-permanent replacement for morphine.

I quit morphine mainly because of the constipating effects, and the issue with pain-relief being ineffective if I end up in hospital or something.

I take kratom because it has basically the same psychological effects as morphine did; It gives me the will to live.

I have withdrawn from kratom once before, and it wasn't horrible, but it certainly wasn't like coffee WDs.

Runny nose, headache, total lack of energy, etc.

I've gone through morphine withdrawals quite a few times (my habit was never that heavy; Maybe 100mg morphine per day) and I can safely say that the kratom withdrawals are almost as bad.

But I imagine that a heavier opiate habit would surpass kratom in terms of the withdrawals.


So yeah, I'm sorry for the perhaps misleading post; I'm most likely going to be dependent on opiates for the rest of my life unless something magical happens.

As for the actual dangers of kratom, well on one hand it's almost an RC, but on the other hand it is a plant, and natural plant medicines don't usually cause chronic health problems, so I'm fairly confident it is safe on the body, but whether it messes up the neurotransmitter balance and/or has the potential to cause mental issues, I really don't know.


In an ideal world I would probably not use kratom at all, I would stick to morphine, but with the legal issues of morphine too and the potential that my supply will run dry eventually, I feel more comfortable with kratom somehow.

Some people might say that taking a drug to make myself happy is unsustainable, but what about antidepressant meds?

Also, even if there is some damage done, it won't be as bad as the damage I used to do to myself in various attempts to "exit" this plane of existence, or just the self-destructive behaviour I used to engage in because I didn't value life at all.

Nowadays I actually value life and I regret those things I did that might end up  killing me in the not too distant future haha.

Ain't life strange, ain't it funny.


Take care and thanks again for your suggestions;
Hope to hear back from you.


--------------------
"Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned" - Leonard Cohen

"We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light" - William Blake

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: MagicBag.co Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags by Magic Bag   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Desperately need help :-( Freaked out a month after shrooms
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )
lucid 42,181 159 08/30/12 09:49 AM
by Sherwin Maxawow
* I had a grandmal seizure last nite and it was my first Anonymous 4,320 17 03/19/03 02:26 AM
by FreakQlibrium
* ANti-depressants: Good ? Bad ? or Neutral?
( 1 2 all )
PsillyTheSeaGull 9,868 31 04/18/03 09:58 PM
by GringoLoco
* advice? will be tripping vampirism 2,380 11 07/28/03 12:44 PM
by djd586
* Sleep Paralysis The_Red_Crayon 2,230 18 02/18/04 04:06 PM
by The_Red_Crayon
* Sleep Paralysis jong21 1,830 9 03/23/04 12:28 PM
by Kremlin
* I did something very bad last night...
( 1 2 all )
RebelSteve33 6,363 33 08/15/03 04:54 PM
by wingnutx
* Traumatized From a Seizure? Earth_Droid 1,334 3 04/29/03 12:12 AM
by I_Fart_Blue

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Asante, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
626 topic views. 0 members, 38 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2026 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.031 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 19 queries.