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Offlinedaba
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Registered: 12/30/02
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I'm in a moral dilemma.
    #2600365 - 04/25/04 10:35 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Hi folks. I'd like to thank you guys in advance for taking time out of your life to read this.

Well, this summer I got offered a great, once-in-a-lifetime internship with a company. However, this summer my grandmother (who I love dearly, one of the few, if not the only person in my life) also wants me to go to China with her as she sees it as one of the last chances to spend some quality time with me before I am completely occupied. However, I really can't pass this job up... the experience gained from it will be invaluable.

My grandmother is getting old, and it disheartens me but I feel like I cannot confront her and tell her I cannot go. I already told her I have a job and I cannot go, but she is ill (she had a stroke, so her memory is not very accurate) and calls me at least once a week to ask me again, with which I give her the same response. Her calls wrench my heart everytime I have to deny her.

I am really confused and upset. Any advice?


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OfflineBarbi
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2600381 - 04/25/04 10:44 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

follow j0r heart y0


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Offlinecastaway
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2600459 - 04/25/04 11:27 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

What does Grandma want to do in China?
I can't think of much in the way of sight-seeing...I'd like to see those chinese Junks but those could be seen anywhere I suppose. I knew a guy who used to buy rubies from Burma. I'd like to buy silks for curtains and bed-spreads.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2600492 - 04/25/04 11:38 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Theres no chance of you being able to take a week off. What if you explain the situation to them. Maybe they would understand. There are millions of jobs out there and only two grandmas.


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Offlinejarby
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: ]
    #2600722 - 04/25/04 01:25 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

just try explaining it to them, its only what, one week? big deal.


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OfflineMetaShroom
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: jarby]
    #2600791 - 04/25/04 01:48 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

If they won't let you take a week out to visit your Grandma then they are not the kind of company you want to be working for surely?


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: MetaShroom]
    #2601238 - 04/25/04 03:37 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Indeed. Just explain to them that your Grandmother won't be around much longer, and you need a week or so to spend with her. If they can't understand that, then maybe you really don't want to work there.


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Invisibledjfrog
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2601273 - 04/25/04 03:50 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

hmm

Internships are pretty short, I'm not surprised that they won't allow a weeks vacation. Internships can also be a big deal in terms of getting the job you want in the future, which is a reasonable thing for you to prioritize. You can visit her without going to china. When she calls, maybe she just wants to talk and has nothing else to talk about. Maybe start planning a weekend trip to her place and get her excited about that.


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Offlinemonkey_monkey
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Registered: 03/10/04
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2601317 - 04/25/04 04:05 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

What will you regret more if you dont do?
Go with your heart.


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InvisibleAdom
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2601335 - 04/25/04 04:12 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Grandma is wayyyyyyyyyyy more important.. Careers are fake anyways, that feeling in your heart is REAL.


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Offlineeve69
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2603987 - 04/26/04 09:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

There's other jobs, always.


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Offlineeve69
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: eve69]
    #2604069 - 04/26/04 10:24 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Now that I think more on this subject I want to say that as a person there will always be moral delimmas regarding work. Too many to give examples for, and so what I want to say is this. Right now, when you are young you can make a stand and do what your heart tells you. These people that provide the jobs basically just want unthinking, unfeeling machines to fill the spaces. They don't care about you. And so you must care about yourself. Don't do what will burden you later in life with guilt. Make peace with your life moment by moment and as the situation arises. Compromise is ok if necessary as long as it's not a sell out. Be whole and be real and your life will be whole and real. Be fake, and be for the corporation and your life will be fake and corporate. It's your decision. You know, I was working with a lad from the projects and he stopped one day full of emotion as he was deep frying something and he said, "I feel like I'm rich!" I asked him how and he said that he's surrounded by family and friends in the projects and all his needs are met. You see it's not the place, or the money but the blanket feeling of connection which makes life worth living. Maintain your connections and heart ties and you too will remain rich. Money can't buy you love. I also am a poor mother fucker but I also feel rich at times. Best wishes.


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2604367 - 04/26/04 01:34 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Go for a shorter time and come back and work.

Im sure you could be able to get a week vacation or somthing?


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InvisibleGalvie_Flu
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2609603 - 04/28/04 01:51 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

your lucky you have grandparents, I never saw any of my grandparents. Cherish them. Sounds like many people like their grandparents more then their real parents.


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Offlinedaba
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: Galvie_Flu]
    #2610288 - 04/28/04 03:56 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I decided to go to China at the end of summer.

Thanks everyone for their input.


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Offlinel0st
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Registered: 04/17/04
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Re: I'm in a moral dilemma. [Re: daba]
    #2610329 - 04/28/04 04:06 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

i think u made the right choice man. i think you'd regret not spending the time with your grandma. i know i can't stop kicking my self for spending more time with my grandfather when he was around the house working away. now hes in a nursing home and can't go out except for a few hours and it breaks my heart just to see him. the even shittier part is that i didn't even do anything productive like an internship when i didn't spend time with him, i j ust got high and played video games. always put your elders before yourself, they paved the way for you to live and not paying them the respect they deserve will come back to haunt you, i know it has for me.

good luck and i hope you enjoy your trip to china. who knows maybe things will work out even better career wise for you, its funny how things work out sometimes.


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