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InvisibleCosmicTwin
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Registered: 02/26/18
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Loc: Never too far.
Lessons Learned on an open heart * 2
    #25983643 - 05/10/19 09:58 AM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Dating, relationships, even "casual sex" is an investment. You should never gamble with more then you are willing to loose... emotions, energy, time & effort. Protect your heart.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a bit spent once again, but I chose to keep an open heart and mind and soul for this one. I decided to step all the way into the present moment, and loved every second of it. Now that its over, despite the hurt, I have a sense of pride and happiness, because I can say I have always acted out of a place of honesty within myself. I never did anything I didn't want to, and only said what I meant.(While he strung me along on empty promises and confusing behaviors.)

I'm gathering the lessons and moving accordingly but the fuckery is real, how do you not become jaded and callused?



-Will Love Again, and again probably lol

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Anonymous #1

Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: CosmicTwin] * 1
    #25983686 - 05/10/19 10:24 AM (4 years, 10 months ago)

love's a trip
take your time to integrate your last experience before tripping again so you don't get burnt  :tunnel:

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #25983940 - 05/10/19 12:31 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

I feel your pain CT. Been through hell in the years since I lost the woman I was convinced was 'the one'. It completely destroyed me. Spent about four years in hell/the long dark night of the soul after that. Lots of unhealthy behaviour in that time, including very much the relationships I got involved in. Nonetheless I never operated from a place where I was intending harm or using others. I just wasn't really available.

Finally come through it now though, and am all the way in the present and am enjoying every minute of it. To me the most salient lesson in regards to relationships has been 'don't go looking for one, and instead work to foster having the best one you can with yourself'. What you need will find you, IMO.

If you're really good and happy with you, everything that everyone else does, did or could ever do matters so much less.

Love yourself, first and foremost.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisibleCosmicTwin
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25984128 - 05/10/19 01:53 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

"What you need will find you."
Thank you so much for your words, I appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss, but the knowledge you have gained to share is valuable.
I have to be careful with my love and trust, but I cant help but give so much of myself especially when it comes to relationships. People feed on my compassion.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: CosmicTwin]
    #25984151 - 05/10/19 02:08 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

You're most welcome CT. Although I must say, I don't really agree with this:

Quote:

CosmicTwin said:
I have to be careful with my love and trust



We've all been hurt, often by those closest to us. The worst thing we can do as a result of that is reign in our love and trust, IMO. If anything we should share it more freely for in healing we become stronger because of those pains.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisibleCosmicTwin
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25984313 - 05/10/19 03:50 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Your right and that's where I'm trying my best not to become jaded and calloused. Its my nature to give and makes me feel good, regardless of what reciprocated. Thank you for listening and your advice.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: CosmicTwin]
    #25984386 - 05/10/19 04:40 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicTwin said:
Your right and that's where I'm trying my best not to become jaded and calloused.



I'm right there with you in that struggle sister. It's hard. Stay strong.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisibleAcuriousmycologist
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: CosmicTwin] * 2
    #25984948 - 05/10/19 09:10 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicTwin said:
Your right and that's where I'm trying my best not to become jaded and calloused. Its my nature to give and makes me feel good, regardless of what reciprocated. Thank you for listening and your advice.




But if you do, remember that being jaded and calloused doesn't have to be a permanent state. It might just be a temporary shell to give your soul time to heal more.

In my case I was lucky enough to meet someone who understood why I was jaded, calloused, self-protective, and thought it worth investing the time and effort for that to break down some over time. Be gentle with yourself whatever your experience.


--------------------
We're all mentally ill. We're all delusional. We're all junkies. It's just a matter of degree
(the Venerable Robina Curtin)

Anything I say here is a fiction, for role play or research only. Full of bollocks I am. I wouldn't believe me.

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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: Acuriousmycologist]
    #25985171 - 05/11/19 12:08 AM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Wise words. Time really heals all wounds. Sometimes a lot of time...…

Once you find another person you fall in love with, you will totally forget about the negative experiences of the past and focus on the good of the current one.

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InvisibleCosmicTwin
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #25985682 - 05/11/19 09:47 AM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Thank you all for the messages.... feels great! Right now just loving myself is enough, wishing everybody a fantastic weekend.

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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: CosmicTwin]
    #25986362 - 05/11/19 03:50 PM (4 years, 10 months ago)

If you can learn to love yourself, you're one step closer to being happy by yourself. :yesnod:

But loving yourself completely isn't easy.

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OfflineBlackbird33
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Re: Lessons Learned on an open heart [Re: CosmicTwin]
    #25994067 - 05/15/19 09:39 AM (4 years, 10 months ago)

Damn your post really hit close to home I am too dealing with the fall-out of “over-investment”. I really wish I had utilized this advice months ago.

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