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 OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
 
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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It is "old home week' here at PSP. Funny how tragedy does that.
Good to see you back!
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Don't worry about his dogs. I know from years of talking about this that they were provided for well. I also know by who.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Quote:
his philosophy is going to live on and pester our own for the rest of our lives
Lets hope not. I wrestled intellectually with this for years knowing it would lead to my best friends death, but daring to hope otherwise. In the end it was loneliness that fucked with him. Even with people who loved him he declared them all to be ghosts. He was the only true hermit I ever knew. Superficially he seemed to love people but over time he kept them at a comfortable distance. his upbringing stranded him an outcast to those who cared for him. Him dying and me being able to say nothing was traumatic. I still keep hoping he will post here to laugh at his joke so I can tell him off and never speak to him again.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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 Re: Icelander Left Us Yesterday  [Re: Huehuecoyotl] 1
#25902936 - 03/28/19 08:59 PM (5 years, 20 days ago) |
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When I first heard of Icey's illness, I offered to call him. Even though we had exchanged literally thousands of PMs, he asked "What would we possibly have to talk about?" thus pushing me away.
When he was dating Veritas, who in my mind was quite an amazing woman, she told me that he would not let her get close; that he feared real intimacy.
Like many of us, it seems he had some core childhood wounds that never healed. 
I have known many people like this who choose pets over people because they are "safer" to relate to. Myself, I have a strong streak of being a hermit as well, so I can definitely relate. I am certainly not passing judgment.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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I will pass judgement. I stayed his friend because I thought it enlightened not to...my bad completely. Even with his neuropathy John was hiking 5 to 10 miles everyday with his dogs. He was more activew than most people you know. His illness was uncomfortable, but had not slowed him down...I know first hand. He used it as an excuse. He was talking suicide within 5 years of our meeting...before any illness of any sort. I think cognitive issues were what spurred him on. Of course cognitive issues are embarrassing...no one likes to discuss it.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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 MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida 
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Icelander Left Us Yesterday [Re: Huehuecoyotl] 1
#25903065 - 03/28/19 10:42 PM (5 years, 20 days ago) |
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You probably know more of the details, but Ice was a victim of childhood abuse. When his father died, Ice said that he was well compensated and that he no longer had to worry about expenses, especially at the conservative consumerist level he boasted of. Ice was tortured by physical and psychological maladies alike, and it was frustrating to have one's best intentions for him rebuffed at every attempt.
Ice was a hermit who identified with the Cynic philosopher Diogenes of Sinope who lived in a large krater (or a drain pipe) with dogs, whose company he preferred over those of men. This is the image of The Hermit on the Tarot card of the same name. Diogenes was thought to be mad since he went about by day carrying a lantern (or lamp) by day and when asked what he was doing replied "I am looking for an honest man." This was the philosopher who when approached by Alexander the Great and asked what he could do for Diogenes replied with ""Stand out of my sunlight," for The Great conqueror was casting his shadow onto Diogenes. Alexander is said to have replied, “If I were not Alexander, I would want to be Diogenes.”
 Diogenes Sitting in his Tub
by Jean-Léon Gérôme (1860)
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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Yep, that was John alright...Merrill John Miller. I ain't being friends with suicidal hermits anymore...it is an unforgiving task. I would as soon kill them myself as watch them slowly kill themselves. Orgone by comparison is fucking Bozo the clown in his cheerfulness. I always thought OC would be more negative from reading his old trollish Swami personna, but in person he was quite positive and courteous. He also greatly impressed my wife with his gentle attitude and positive demeanor. Maybe I'll catch back up to him sometime soon if he is amenable. Maybe you too Markos...but you live in Florida which is hard to visit from here. Of course any of you guys could come see me down on the border...
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
Of course any of you guys could come see me down on the border...
Can you sneak me across the Mexican border? 
Maybe I will visit next year if/when I can actually hike again. Will have to see how my recovery goes.
The main problem though is that I absolutely hate driving long distance.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Long distance? Your 6 hours away. We can go to Mexico no passport needed...just ID...we can sneak if you feel the need though. My son in-law is from Oaxaca and knows northern Mexico quite well if a guide is needed so come on down. If you want to fly I'll pick you up in Tucson and take you back to the airport there.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
We can go to Mexico no passport needed..
I want to climb the wall! 
Not long to you, but six hours is a very long drive to someone who is already averse. When I was 22 I drove coast to coast in a record 2.7 days. Tolerances changes over time. 
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Icelander Left Us Yesterday [Re: Huehuecoyotl] 1
#25903139 - 03/28/19 11:59 PM (5 years, 20 days ago) |
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That is a very generous offer to drive roundtrip to the airport. 
I have some bridgesii and San Pedro in my garden that I have never sampled.  
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Thanks Hue, I appreciate the offer. I've come to hate geographical travel. Not exactly a shut-in, but I pretty much get my wife to travel with her daughter if she wants to go somewhere (like visit her step-sister and step-mum in S. Africa). I'm not gonna leave my cats or board them (I'm new to cats, never had one before. Practically telepathic with the indoor one). I haven't been outside of FL in years save one brief family-related excursion to Jamaica but that must have been 4 years ago at least. The pool, the yard, but most of all the safety of the house is an issue. I have an alarm system but have to lock the accordion shutters all around like a fucking armadillo. Miami is a hostile goddamn city, lots of lowlife. My wife is, how should I put it?...Well, she fidgets so much on the sofa I have to ask if she's maybe sitting on a pea, a wasabi pea because she is a princess of sorts. I have seen her squat in the bush in Nigeria however, so she can transcend that, but while she travels without me, I don't travel without her. Go figure.
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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Rose
Devil's Advocate
Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said:
Yep, that was John alright...Merrill John Miller. I ain't being friends with suicidal hermits anymore...it is an unforgiving task. I would as soon kill them myself as watch them slowly kill themselves. Orgone by comparison is fucking Bozo the clown in his cheerfulness. I always thought OC would be more negative from reading his old trollish Swami personna, but in person he was quite positive and courteous. He also greatly impressed my wife with his gentle attitude and positive demeanor. Maybe I'll catch back up to him sometime soon if he is amenable. Maybe you too Markos...but you live in Florida which is hard to visit from here. Of course any of you guys could come see me down on the border...
Anyone here who hasn’t, should talk to Org. He is my spirit animal. He is caught somewhere between depression and pure silliness.
Many here skew darker.
When I couldn’t hold ZIG up on my own, I passed him off to Org. It worked out for a while, but mostly, I just wanted Org to talk to this guy. To see if oil and vinegar could mix. Both just skewed to the cool side of crazy, and I had stuck my neck out to protect them both.
I’m afraid I share more in common with Ice. But you know, we all fry ourselves on the, “Brains on drugs” skillet. We all cook on said skillet differently.
Many of us old farts understand the story of Icarus on a whole new level.
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Fiddlesticks.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Icelander Left Us Yesterday [Re: Rose]
#25903253 - 03/29/19 03:04 AM (5 years, 20 days ago) |
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Buster_Brown
L'une
Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,690
Last seen: 15 minutes, 37 seconds
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said:
Late last week he sent me an email where he said he dreamed that him and myself stood on the edge of infinity and that he was telling me he was going on a journey into that infinity.
Now we are connected with American Roaming.
You can call out but there will be no incoming messages.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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I guess I get one last visit from Icelander, and we get one last adventure, but I don't relish it. I have been asked to spread some of his ashes over the desert around Bisbee Arizona...which he liked and considered moving to. He and I once spent all day around Bisbee...which is a relatively poor hippy town. He said it was like his town before the rich people from California moved in. We ate at a Mexican restaurant (real Mexican) and drank gin and tonics. That was a fun day...wish I had a do over. I had pestered him to make one more trip here...but not by USPS.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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I feel your heaviness, but he did honor your friendship by trusting this sacred duty to you. 
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
When he was dating Veritas, who in my mind was quite an amazing woman, she told me that he would not let her get close; that he feared real intimacy.
(I hope she doesn't mind if she is lurking)...
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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 20 hours
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He always told me that I likely fair so well mentally due to my partner. That picture made me sad when I look at it because I see a sense of relief and even perhaps release that I didn't really see in person. A wholeness.
A great photo but sad IMO.
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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