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Anonymous #1

Stigma with being single * 3
    #25870131 - 03/12/19 06:11 PM (6 months, 2 days ago)

People often eventually ask me if I have a GF and this is just a bad nosey question that always leads them to either expressing pitty for me, or nagging me for why I'm single or assuming im gay and laughing about it to themselves in a way that they want me to notice or theyre like "omg you must be dying / deprived" or "wtf do you even do with your time?"

I lose respect for so many people because of this. I don't need a GF and I don't need to provide reasons for why I chose to be single. Unlike many people who feel incomplete without a romantic partner, I am 100% complete and way better off without one. Every man in my family has been cut throated and supressed by their relationships. All just for the pussy and emotional support. That's pretty much all the gain I've ever seen from it. Every GF I ever had growing up only slowed me down and put me through unneccessary emotional toil


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Anonymous #2

Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25870321 - 03/12/19 07:52 PM (6 months, 2 days ago)

just keep focused in improving yourself, you don't give a fuck about that kind of attitude from others when you're happy and it shows. probably you're still insecure about it


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25870341 - 03/12/19 08:07 PM (6 months, 2 days ago)

where do you live?


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Not all those who wander are lost.


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InvisibleNimph
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25870933 - 03/13/19 02:49 AM (6 months, 2 days ago)

Those girls weren't keepers, you dont keep eveey fish you catch an you shouldnt expect to.

You keep an so for the same reasons you keep an stray dog or your favorite pipe.

Just say you aint got time for hoes or you just aint found one you like, quality over quantity for sure.

Just because girls hurt you doesnt mean every girl will.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25872645 - 03/13/19 10:22 PM (6 months, 1 day ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
nagging me for why I'm single or assuming im gay and laughing about it to themselves in a way that they want me to notice or theyre like "omg you must be dying / deprived" or "wtf do you even do with your time?"



As much as I completely empathise with you here, I also think 'meh, people are sheep'. It's not surprising. The masses will always try and push/guilt trip you into doing what the masses are doing. Such as it ever was. One has to be prepared to be ostracised and be looked on as a social pariah if one chooses to not do what everyone else is doing.

Find the right people to spend your precious time with and this won't be a problem.

Personally, I think it's truly commendable to not need a 'other half' (as so many would put it). To be complete and whole in oneself. I've little doubt, as long as you're not purposely avoiding relationships, that someone really good for you will come your way, in time. For there is far more to be gained than 'pussy and emotional support'.

With the right frame of mind yourself, and the right partner, you can grow in ways you never dreamed possible. You can gain 'the world'. There's no greater catalyst IMO.

And that, IMO, makes all the struggle worth it. Of course the masses probably won't see it that way. How could you when you need someone to 'complete you'?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25875082 - 03/15/19 03:40 AM (5 months, 30 days ago)

The place you live sounds very judgmental.

I usually only get that kind of judgement from my family.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Stigma with being single [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #25876437 - 03/15/19 07:14 PM (5 months, 30 days ago)

I think it has to do with my persona or looks or something. Idk why people always asked me this question all over the country. Even when running into old friends "so you got a gf or what??" As soon as I say "nah" I can literally see their thoughts stiring about why and i have to play it off tactfully and come up with some bullshit thatll make sense to them to keep them from losing their minds but its draining. People are strange creatures


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25876786 - 03/15/19 10:20 PM (5 months, 30 days ago)

I don't have a gf because it's too hard to meet women anywhere but online dating and that is total shit


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Anonymous #1

Re: Stigma with being single [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25876823 - 03/15/19 10:48 PM (5 months, 30 days ago)

I might be diagnosable as an autist. I don't want to accommodate for people's social needs. Even my best friends from early on and my own family - I can't stand them for too long even though i do truly care about their wellbeing and I enjoy hearing from them every now and then. I am sexually attracted to women, I get boners for hot titties and Ive enjoyed banging nice women, but to spend enough time with new people seriosuly drains me and I'll know in the back of my mind that ill much prefer solitude, and when I do finally achieve solitude it feels really great. It could be that all the weed and psychs over the years developed me estranged from people

My mind is like a psychological kaleidoscope of strangeness for reality now that I think about it. It carries over well into my sobriety too, as ive found when I take multi week long breaks from everything


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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25876856 - 03/15/19 11:05 PM (5 months, 30 days ago)

Do u ever say straight up "Im most happy when Im single" or "I prefer being alone" or maybe "Im working on myself right now"?

Cause i feel like thats the best answer. I would hope people you know would be understanding to that.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Stigma with being single [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #25876874 - 03/15/19 11:17 PM (5 months, 30 days ago)

Ive probably said something like those before, it always sounds lame to me and those responses usually opens their doors to grilling & roasting me in a dumb way and then they say "haha I'm just messin with you man." But it's actually kind of real what they say. I need to come up with wittier excuses.

I'm also hesitant to say certain things cause sometimes I say something real and I start seeing their own insecurities whirling around in their eyes and i feel a little guilty. I could be delusional but shit, I'm damn certain that i really know what people are feeling most of the time. Kinda sucks when you feel like you can see too much in someones eyes. Being blissfully oblivious must be rad


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Invisiblewatermelon mon
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25877045 - 03/16/19 01:40 AM (5 months, 30 days ago)

iv'e never really been with a real girlfriend , once when i was like 15 but that's about it and it doesn't really count

if it doesn't happen again at least i got to feel what it was like , i hope everybody finds or is with someone that treats them well

one thing if for sure nobody is going to step on or play with me ever again , seems that's almost all it is out there , so alone is good


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:dazedandconfused:


Edited by watermelon mon (03/16/19 01:57 AM)


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Invisiblewatermelon mon
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: watermelon mon]
    #25877052 - 03/16/19 01:50 AM (5 months, 30 days ago)

this sounds kind of gey but i am more of a romantic type , it is rare to non existent in the culture i am around

no one here wants to see the sun set or anything like that they like TV sets

also way better off without a relationship and happy


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:dazedandconfused:


Edited by watermelon mon (03/16/19 01:55 AM)


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25877433 - 03/16/19 10:22 AM (5 months, 29 days ago)

Sounds like you have a high ability to pick up on social cues. Thats pretty interesting and is a very practical skill.

Anyway, i see three choices. Catfish people into thinking you have a girlfriend when u actually dont, come up with more types of excuses for why dont have one, or lastly learn to not be bothered from people's judgmental comments.

U might also wanna play the "asexual" card. I am 50% asexual which means my sex drive can dip to levels so low I dont even have a sex drive. In a sense, wanting to be single and not seeking sexual situations is a sign of asexuality. So if u think u could admit to that, you could try that :shrug:


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InvisibleSociety
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Re: Stigma with being single [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #25878191 - 03/16/19 05:25 PM (5 months, 29 days ago)

I just tell people, "I'm having too much fun being single" or something similar. If there are any follow-up questions, I am also not shy at just flat-out telling people I am not interested in dating, marriage, or ever having kids.

Don't be insecure about it yourself. The value and empowerment of singleness for me is such that other people's judgements are 100% irrelevant.


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