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Offlineyeah
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Sublimating sexual urges
    #25869818 - 03/12/19 04:09 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

I've tried Mantak Chia's cool draw, sacral/cranial pump and big draw. None of that helps me with not needing to bust.

What works?


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 2
    #25869925 - 03/12/19 04:44 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

Discipline and self control.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25869930 - 03/12/19 04:46 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

nah man for me the urge is too physical to just tough through, can't focus on anything


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25869933 - 03/12/19 04:47 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

I just meditated outside and it took awhile but helped


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25869954 - 03/12/19 04:55 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
nah man for me the urge is too physical to just tough through, can't focus on anything



"Nah man, for me the urge to fuck/take drugs/gamble/steal/lie/etc/etc is too strong and I can't resist it."

You do realise what a total cop out answer that is don't you? If another human can control themselves, then so can you.

Perhaps you should go to AA or something, cause you sound like one of those people that needs to say 'I am powerless to control my urges!'.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25869996 - 03/12/19 05:11 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

you're kind of being a dick, bro

what the fuck am I supposed to do if the only thing I can process is the feeling in my dick? Not to mention I JUST said that I meditated and it helped. But you seem too eager to take a holier than thou attitude in a thread asking for advice. lots of people do that in this forum and I'd expect more from a mod.


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Edited by yeah (03/12/19 05:12 PM)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25870048 - 03/12/19 05:30 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

I'm not being a dick in order to try and be a dick.

I may be blunt in the way I try to help, but I assure you that my heart is in the right place and I am only trying to help, nothing more and nothing less.

I mean seriously though; my dick throbbed like fuck for any hole as a teenager. Still does now to a lesser extent, and for only certain holes. So what? It's part of being a man. Short of removing your testicles there's pretty much fuck all you can do about it.

I don't know if you want to just vent, or if you want me to mollycoddle you with some kind of 'there there, it's alright' kind of advice, but you need to take this thing into your own hands (LOL) and just learn to control yourself. Sure you can work with distraction as a tactic, but having a dick is having a dick, and the urge will come back sooner or later.

So what's better? Distraction and not dealing with it or dealing with it by means of discipline and self control?

The former only works for so long. The later works for ever, once you master it.

I wish you all the best, either way.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25870063 - 03/12/19 05:36 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

Yeah I just want to know ways to make the urge go away, not be told to just suffer through it for the rest of my life. For me it doesn't go away on its own once it starts, I've tried applying self control and after a few days of day in day out agony I realized that I needed another approach.



--------------------
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Edited by yeah (03/12/19 05:37 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 2
    #25870110 - 03/12/19 05:59 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

You need stuff to work on and stay productive. Or just beat ur dick until it can't be beaten any more. Then find productive stuff to do with your time


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Offlineflugelizor
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25871173 - 03/13/19 08:19 AM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
You need stuff to work on and stay productive. Or just beat ur dick until it can't be beaten any more. Then find productive stuff to do with your time



This
If you have a tenancy toward obsessive focus on sex, a busy job will keep your mind off it.


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OfflineGeinstein
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: flugelizor]
    #25871177 - 03/13/19 08:25 AM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Options:
Go get a hooker
Ask one of your female friends for sex
Ask a random person to have sex with the(this actually works)
Get a Fuck buddy(really make shore it Mutual or else you end up with overly attached Girl that your just into enough for sex)


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Offlineflugelizor
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Geinstein]
    #25871185 - 03/13/19 08:48 AM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Quote:

Geinstein said:
Options:
Go get a hooker
Ask one of your female friends for sex
Ask a random person to have sex with the(this actually works)
Get a Fuck buddy(really make shore it Mutual or else you end up with overly attached Girl that your just into enough for sex)



OK, but IMHO having sex doesn't stop compulsive thought/behavior.
OP asked how to stop sex, not have sex.
But I'm not a psychologist.


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: flugelizor] * 1
    #25871206 - 03/13/19 09:13 AM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Yeah I'm more interested in things that work in the short term, too. Like meditations or breathing exercises.

I get that lifestyle adjustments are a big part of it but they are harder to implement and I need something that works fast now that I am back into combat sports and my test is spiking.

You'd think consistent martial arts training would be a good outlet but noooo it just has to make it worse :crankey:


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25872610 - 03/13/19 10:08 PM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
but they are harder to implement



What worth having ever came easy?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleBlu Spore
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25872674 - 03/13/19 10:35 PM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Why do you feel it necessary to sublimate the urge in the first place? If you are young and male then the urge is a natural function, if anything it means you are healthy.

Even with spiritual practice or meditation will not eliminate urges or so-called negative emotions like anger or jealousy. You simply become aware and less dominated by them. You still get the feelings arising but have a modicum of control whereas before you may totally identify with the feeling. (I think spiritual control of all states is almost unheard of nowadays in the west)

you could just ride it out...My sex drive is less now at mid 30's than my 20's and I imagine by old age I may wish it was still there at all.

Maybe channel it into a functional relationship?


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25883608 - 03/19/19 03:12 PM (1 month, 5 days ago)

You can beat this! Take matters into your own hands!


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25895322 - 03/25/19 08:33 AM (30 days, 18 hours ago)

Highly recommend mediating. Theres a calming quality to repeated meditation that helps center yourself. Very beneficial.

However, the most difficult thought-distraction to overcome for Tibetan Monks is sexual thoughts. Blasting past it is the tricky part.


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #25895420 - 03/25/19 10:20 AM (30 days, 16 hours ago)

Yeah I meditate.

When I'm horny I don't even necessarily think about anything sexual, though. There's just an overwhelming physical urge to seek release and it's analogous to the feeling you get in your stomach when you're hungry.

The last time I opted to meditate first before fapping it helped a little but and then just came back in an hour.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25895441 - 03/25/19 10:33 AM (30 days, 16 hours ago)

Yeah. It can be very much a physical thing, like a need to exercise. Perhaps weight lifting might help?


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25895442 - 03/25/19 10:35 AM (30 days, 16 hours ago)

Do you not see that, as a human male, this urge is completely unavoidable?

You wouldn't be here right now were it not for the urge of all living things to procreate. That's what life does, and has been doing, for 3.5 billion years.

Perhaps, if you become a monk and live on the outer edge of society (or in a cave) for many, many years and spend all your days in practice, you could overcome it along with any other human facet, but it seems silly to seek to change that which is one of your prime reasons for existing without changing your entire life in pursuit of that goal.

Still, there's always the option of testicular removal if it gets too much for you.

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
Perhaps weight lifting might help?



That would almost certainly make it worse. Higher testosterone levels = increased sexual desire.

I like it personally. I love being horny, whether I'm getting any or not. It makes me feel alive, and human.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25895487 - 03/25/19 11:01 AM (30 days, 15 hours ago)

I mean if you don't know it's cool but you don't have to put your $0.02 in if it doesn't really help.

Does your libido ever get so bad you can't even watch a movie? And if so, you like that?

The higher energy level from minor retention makes me feel more alive and all that but when it gets to a point where I can't function then I want some way to handle it without busting a nut because if I do that any time but right before bed then I feel off for awhile and that sucks, too.


--------------------
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25895517 - 03/25/19 11:21 AM (30 days, 15 hours ago)

It sounds like part of your plight is mental issues as well. To what degree, I can't say.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25895523 - 03/25/19 11:26 AM (30 days, 15 hours ago)

If you ask a question of the community then you're asking for the $0.02 of the community. If you don't like the answers you're getting because they're not what you want to hear then perhaps you should refrain from asking the question, or, even better, accept that people are trying to help you by taking their time to explain and offering their $0.02. Do you only consider help to be help if it aligns with what you want to hear?

Yes, sometimes I get so damn horny that I need to unload. And unload is what I do. I see no issue with that; quite the opposite in fact - I consider it healthy. I have read numerous books about the reproductive dances and functions of humans and there is very good reason for us to frequently unload.

I've played with retention, discipline, and just letting loose in my time. I have tested for benefits and downsides. I see no point in being pointlessly strict about it, for I have seen 0 benefit from being so.

Is there some reason that you're totally adverse to just jacking off when you need to? What is this 'feeling off' you describe? Have you had any traumatic sexual experiences in your life?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25895554 - 03/25/19 11:46 AM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
If you ask a question of the community then you're asking for the $0.02 of the community. If you don't like the answers you're getting because they're not what you want to hear then perhaps you should refrain from asking the question, or, even better, accept that people are trying to help you by taking their time to explain and offering their $0.02. Do you only consider help to be help if it aligns with what you want to hear?

Yes, sometimes I get so damn horny that I need to unload. And unload is what I do. I see no issue with that; quite the opposite in fact - I consider it healthy. I have read numerous books about the reproductive dances and functions of humans and there is very good reason for us to frequently unload.

I've played with retention, discipline, and just letting loose in my time. I have tested for benefits and downsides. I see no point in being pointlessly strict about it, for I have seen 0 benefit from being so.

Is there some reason that you're totally adverse to just jacking off when you need to? What is this 'feeling off' you describe? Have you had any traumatic sexual experiences in your life?



My thoughts as well. OP, we need an answer please!


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25895582 - 03/25/19 12:01 PM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
I've tried Mantak Chia's cool draw, sacral/cranial pump and big draw. None of that helps me with not needing to bust.

What works?




Where in that did I ask for anyone's opinion?

And I'm not "totally adverse" to jacking off when I need to. You just replied to a thread I made the other day about having jacked 3x as much as I used to since getting back into combat sports so I'm not sure why you have that idea.


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25895585 - 03/25/19 12:02 PM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

When I say I feel "off" its the typical stuff nofappers say they retain for. A big one is not feeling as poised around attractive women. Need some warrior qi to be calm, you know?

never had any sexual trauma, either. At least that I'm aware of. Like never been molested or taken advantage of in any way.


--------------------
Not all those who wander are lost.


Edited by yeah (03/25/19 12:04 PM)


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah]
    #25895600 - 03/25/19 12:12 PM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

Ahhh, so you think by not masturbating at all that when you are around a woman you find attractive it will give you an edge needed to get said woman in the sack?:confused: Kids these days,lol.


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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #25895608 - 03/25/19 12:15 PM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

holy fuck you judgmental brainlets are so god damn insufferable I'm about to stop fucking posting in this subforum

how are you going to tell me I can't tell how I feel after fapping? Why did you assume I'm just trying to fuck girls with nofap? Did it occur to you that maybe I want to feel relaxed for my own sake?


--------------------
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25895629 - 03/25/19 12:26 PM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

Hey now, let's just calm down a bit. Maybe you should go jack off to release some tension? I was just asking, I didn't assume, that is why I asked.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25895643 - 03/25/19 12:37 PM (30 days, 14 hours ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
Quote:

yeah said:
What works?



Where in that did I ask for anyone's opinion?

And I'm not "totally adverse" to jacking off when I need to. You just replied to a thread I made the other day about having jacked 3x as much as I used to since getting back into combat sports so I'm not sure why you have that idea.



A. 'What works?' is a request for discussion and exploration, which invaraibly involves opinion, since that is all we each have.
B. I don't keep track of every response I make to every thread, and I don't know you well enough to remember your habits exactly.
C. If you can't have a simple discussion about masturbatory habits without getting your knickers in a twist then I agree; you should stop posting in this subforum.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25895662 - 03/25/19 12:48 PM (30 days, 13 hours ago)

Yeah!


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OfflineWhoManBeing
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #25895681 - 03/25/19 12:59 PM (30 days, 13 hours ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
You can beat this! Take matters into your own hands!




Just eat it!


--------------------
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Offlineyeah
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Re: Sublimating sexual urges [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25895902 - 03/25/19 03:20 PM (30 days, 11 hours ago)

A is just incorrect and it seems like you don't want to admit that you have trouble resisting the urge to show others how superior your understanding of matters is

C is also incorrect. If you read the two sentence OP carefully you will see the premise of the thread is to discuss how one can diminish sexual urges. It shouldn't be hard to understand how I could get frustrated when I have to deal with people who can't stay on topic and try to veer the discussion to irrelevant areas

just lock the thread I'll go to leddit or something next time I want to post here


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