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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 7 days
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Love makes me feel pathetic.
#2572325 - 04/17/04 09:36 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Maybe I need to rant about my romantic issues for once. I have what I think is a problem. I associate all of my happiness with a woman. Guess what happens when we're not together? I mope. I miss. I ache. I feel so lame and pathetic. I know, I know...it's all a part of the love package, right? Well, I despise it. I feel weak, dependent. If only I could spend every waking minute with her...but I can't (it's not realistic). So I'm left with all of these minutes to myself.
It gets harder and harder everyday trying to distract myself (it's the only way I can find relief). I wait, I watch my phone, I wait, I watch for her car, I keep waiting...and when I get a call or see she's back from work, I play it oh so cool (even though I could implode with joy). How lame is that?
Sigh...I just can't get enough of her. I'm addicted. I'm in love. I'm pathetic.
-------------------- "...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2572349 - 04/17/04 09:48 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Aw...I think your girl is a very lucky woman!
I think those intense feelings will improve with time. Do you think that you could try and not despise them so, and instead just accept them for what they are? (And they're definately not a bad thing, in my opinion!) And in the meantime, why don't you invest in a new hobby to interest you and fill in the time when you both can't be together? Or maybe while you're spending time apart, what about planning a romantic activity for the two of you to cherish while you're together? Just some suggestions. I know what you're going through, and it helps me to plan and arrange something special for my husband when we can't be together. Like a special, romantic surprise or something. I've also taken up quite a few new hobbies to supplement the time apart.
I hope I helped a little bit.
*me*
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BlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb
Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 19 years, 5 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2572427 - 04/17/04 10:14 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Man, don't complain! I have only felt those feelings once. It only lasted a few weeks, and then the girl screwed me over. Be happy, because these feelings mean you are in LOVE, which is awesome! However, you will learn with time how to control them. Love on
-------------------- ***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---*** :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams
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daba
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2572608 - 04/17/04 11:31 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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!
Sounds like a fun place to be! Hush up, you know you enjoy every last moment of it.
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DannyT
Danny Tanner
Registered: 10/12/03
Posts: 1,511
Loc: Souf Carolina
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2572611 - 04/17/04 11:34 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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you...lucky...bastard I'd give just about anything to be in your shoes at the moment.
-------------------- Oh, no, man, I feel weird I'm trying to get the motherfucking fuck out of here Before there's flowers here And sour tears
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valour
Swordbearer
Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2572659 - 04/17/04 11:56 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Also consider looking at stuff which works for people who just lost a relationship: develop yourself. Progress in your life and this will make you even better for the one you love. You're showing great things with the way you feel about her - and it will be even better for both of you if you're stronger, kinder and wiser than you are now. (Not that you're not these things, but there's always room for growth, right?)
And continue to be thankful -- taking great love for granted is a horrible mistake.
-------------------- "Remember, son, I didn't sell out- I bought in."
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2572720 - 04/18/04 12:25 AM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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You are lucky. I am incapable of being in love. Stupid brain.
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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 7 days
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: ]
#2573498 - 04/18/04 09:59 AM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Thanks, everyone. You all had really good points...wow, support group central is really helpful
-------------------- "...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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filthysock
puresoul
Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: DannyT]
#2573575 - 04/18/04 10:33 AM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
DannyT said: you...lucky...bastard I'd give just about anything to be in your shoes at the moment.
same here. Just enjoy it. Love is pathetic, but in such a beautiful way. Oh the precious feeling of love *sigh*
-------------------- Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!
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shaggy101
Registered: 08/16/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 11 years, 11 days
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2598539 - 04/24/04 04:29 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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this post hurts sorry i cant help in some way..im glad you feel that deeply for some one
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tezcatlipoca
but you can callme tez
Registered: 10/26/03
Posts: 73
Loc: nl, canada
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2601510 - 04/25/04 03:12 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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it's that uncomfortable and helpless feeling that we're all addicted to in one way or another.
i hate the feeling too, but yet i seek out the very situations that will create that feeling. like the one i'm in now.
you know, it may take you down a few notches feeling dependant, but on the other hand it shows that you are in love, like the others said. your mate is completing that part of you that needs completion.
bask in the joy of what you are feeling, and be glad that there is reciprocation.
feeling that way about someone who doesn't feel similarly for you is a rough place to be, trust me.
peace, tez
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Spooge
The Nutter
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 5,189
Loc: Ice patches that last for...
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2601619 - 04/25/04 04:08 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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.
Edited by Spooge (11/18/12 11:24 AM)
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tezcatlipoca
but you can callme tez
Registered: 10/26/03
Posts: 73
Loc: nl, canada
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Spooge]
#2601652 - 04/25/04 04:24 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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entity, it sucks eh?
i am exactly the same way. it's like this division that can never be healed.
we show our true love and we are robbed of the recipients.
we mask our desire for love, and the recipients are abound.
ah well.
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Spooge
The Nutter
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 5,189
Loc: Ice patches that last for...
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: tezcatlipoca]
#2601748 - 04/25/04 05:11 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well put. Yes it does suck. But females are funny creatures, so I guess it has to be done.
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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 7 days
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Spooge]
#2602894 - 04/25/04 10:35 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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feeling that way about someone who doesn't feel similarly for you is a rough place to be, trust me.
I'm in that place now. We sleep together and all sorts of other couple activities, but 6 weeks in, I assumed it was safe to tell her. Eh..."I love yous" don't always come at the same time I guess.
So I've been in this place for a little while and it's been a little rough. But I think the insecurity was a result of my dwelling...of wanting more (from her). Once I recognized this, I was able to calm down a bit and find other sources of happiness (such as hobbies).
We're still seeing each other (and sleeping together) every single day, but now...well, now I'm not wearing my blinders. Y'know those things? Blinders: they make the woman seem like an angel or princess...I love that perspective! But I see it fading. I no longer revolve my life around her. The intensity feels like it's slowing down, and that special air that lifted me from my heels where ever I walked is sinking.
Blah. To be continued?
-------------------- "...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 7 days
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2605299 - 04/26/04 03:41 PM (19 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well, I've decided adopt this thread as a way to vent about the romance bullshit I deal with. All comments are welcome.
She can be such a jealous person. And her anxiety causes some paranoid train of thoughts. She doesn't seem as emotionally mature as I hoped (she can act a bit crazy). She has trouble telling me things she thinks I don't want to hear. If she does open up, it's layered with thick coats of sugar...it's a real task trying to interpret her. She's afraid of commitment. It seems like "I don't know" is her favorite thing to say. I really don't like these traits.
Now I wonder...should I cut my losses and dettach myself? The limbo is hurting me and I feel my defense mechanisms activating.
"Go with the flow" is the reply I expect from most of you guys but...there's so much tension now. Sweet and sour, right? It's hard...I remember 3 months ago when I was so comfortable caring only about myself. In a way, I guess this issue is still only about myself.
-------------------- "...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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waterbug
just a figment
Registered: 01/06/04
Posts: 3,322
Loc: where i live they grow ou...
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2606227 - 04/27/04 12:03 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Well, looks like the first problem you had has ceased to exist. No girl is going to be perfect, you had some really high expectations for this girl and now that she isnt living up to your fantasy, you feel disapointed. I dont think i know one girl who isnt a little crazy in fact you would probably get bored if she werent. You were right, I think you should hold out for a little while, give her a chance to be a real person, not your idea of perfection. I wish you the best, and I do hope you give it a little time, she could be a really great girl, besides its not always easy to open up at the beginning of a relationship, and there may be really valid reasons for her not wanting to commit right away. anyway lots of love waterbug
-------------------- Girls Poop!
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: waterbug]
#2606679 - 04/27/04 01:44 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Good advice, Waterbug.
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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 7 days
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: waterbug]
#2607226 - 04/27/04 03:58 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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You made some great points, waterbug. Thanks
-------------------- "...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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tezcatlipoca
but you can callme tez
Registered: 10/26/03
Posts: 73
Loc: nl, canada
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: Love makes me feel pathetic. [Re: Viaggio]
#2607287 - 04/27/04 04:16 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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sometimes that extra effort you put into the relationship pays off. i know what it's like to have to try and deal with the shyness of a girl. sometimes it almost seems like their apprehension is a reflection of the way they feel about you.
usually, that isn't the case.
like waterbug said, things are going to take time. she will learn to open up to you and she'll learn to be comfortable. her shyness around you can also be seen in another positive light. that is, she's clearly worried about the way she appears to you. in other words, she must like you enough to worry about herself and try to censor herself. i don't know if that makes any sense, but can you remember having a big crush on a girl in the past? you know how you begin to worry about how you appear, and how you sound, and this and that. well, i know i'm certainly like that (however silly it may seem.) she's going through the same thing. she wants you to like her, and she's afraid of scaring you away.
give it some time. don't try to force her to open up -- she must do that on her own. however, you should make her want to change. don't openly encourage her, but rather, entice her into wanting to open up to you.
and whether or not you want to admit it, you are clearly attached to this girl! which is not a bad thing. you are concerned about the way the relationship is going, and i think you really like this girl. you're worried about staying in the relationship because even though you like this girl, you have learned over the years that tearing yourself apart because of a girl will get you nowhere. am i right? at this stage in the game, i think you should just try to turn off the brain. i know it's incredibly hard to do. i know i wish i could do it effectively, but you need to. show her that you care for her regardless of how she may come across and that it's okay to be herself.
i hope this made some sense. i wish i could follow my own advice. i'm currently ripping my own hair out over a girl these days too.
good luck, and
peace, tez
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