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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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The ego doesn't want to go
    #25687184 -

Dear shroomers,

I have been experimenting with psilocybin in order to grapple with mortality and fear of relapse issues after a cancer which is for now at bay. I started low (1.5 gr) and worked my way up to 6 grams over the course of a year, but I have yet to experience the kind of mystical, ego-blasting journey which seems to help people in my situation in clinical trials. On the high doses I get very emotional and very preoccupied with ethical living - and the perceptual distortions can be very beautiful - but I do not experience closed eyes visuals, ever, nor do I dissolve into a greater consciousness. Does this happen to other people? Why am I so resistant? Should I keep increasing dosage or is it asking for trouble?

I have a trusted trip sitter but I am a bit nervous about going beyond 6 grams. Please advise.

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Frenchie718]
    #25687197 -

Frenchie718 said:
Dear shroomers,

I have been experimenting with psilocybin in order to grapple with mortality and fear of relapse issues after a cancer which is for now at bay. I started low (1.5 gr) and worked my way up to 6 grams over the course of a year, but I have yet to experience the kind of mystical, ego-blasting journey which seems to help people in my situation in clinical trials. On the high doses I get very emotional and very preoccupied with ethical living - and the perceptual distortions can be very beautiful - but I do not experience closed eyes visuals, ever, nor do I dissolve into a greater consciousness. Does this happen to other people? Why am I so resistant? Should I keep increasing dosage or is it asking for trouble?

I have a trusted trip sitter but I am a bit nervous about going beyond 6 grams. Please advise.


How many times have you done 4+ grAms?  Usually the solace people find is related to the getting preoccupied with ethical living. As in they realize the way they live has much more meaning then the way theyll die. 

This is all just my on the fly input though.  If it were me i would also be nervous going over 6 grams. Anyone should be.  I would spend time really observing your own thoughts and issues while sober and then trying again.

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: NOUS333]
    #25687219 -

What's your set and setting like?

Do you find yourself doing activities and such? Do you set any intentions going in or in the days/weeks leading up to an experience?

I ask because many of my own heavy ego dissolution moments have been from me laying down doing nothing and feeling the drugs effects, usually in a dark room with little or no music.

A bit of cannabis usually kicks things into a higher gear. :shrug:


--------------------
The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF

This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited,  but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders

https://www.icandecide.org/

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Frenchie718]
    #25687223 -

This is the shroomery. Where mushrooms are mystified. Good luck finding your answer

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: HamHead]
    #25687250 -

I always do it at home, without stimuli, and with a trusted sitter. I don't really set an intention except to let them take me where they want to take me.

I think I am very resistant. I tried ayahuasca too in a ceremony and had no visuals.

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Frenchie718]
    #25687349 -

Different people react differently to the same dose.
I'm a lightweight or something. 1-2dg sets me right for a party, and more gets me wasted. My friend who is about the same size needs 2x that... or just wants a bunch of free shrooms. :thinker:
But are you really certain there's something beyond where you've already been?
How much of the 'this shit saved my life' stuff is placebo? Doesn't matter... whatever works for you. But you can have life changing epiphanies a week after you dosed.
Some say you never come all the way down... think about that before you go all heroic.
:petercide:
Syd Barrett fried his mind 'reaching for the secret'.
Be careful with your life, you only get one chance.


--------------------
Last seen 12/2/2020

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Duhrwood Stevens]
    #25687581 -

I just had an LSD experience that was equivalent to 9-10 grams and I didnt experience ego death. I felt very close.

I think silent darkness would likely help a lot.


--------------------
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25687611 -

How often do you trip? There's some evidence that frequency can affect response.

The other thing to consider is that you'll tend to get the trip you need. Rather than comparing your experiences to an expected result pay very close attention to what you are receiving. The ol' mushroom might be giving you the first steps but you've got your eyes on the top of the stairs.


--------------------
How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all?

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Frenchie718]
    #25687621 -

Frenchie718 said:
Dear shroomers,

I have been experimenting with psilocybin in order to grapple with mortality and fear of relapse issues after a cancer which is for now at bay. I started low (1.5 gr) and worked my way up to 6 grams over the course of a year, but I have yet to experience the kind of mystical, ego-blasting journey which seems to help people in my situation in clinical trials. On the high doses I get very emotional and very preoccupied with ethical living - and the perceptual distortions can be very beautiful - but I do not experience closed eyes visuals, ever, nor do I dissolve into a greater consciousness. Does this happen to other people? Why am I so resistant? Should I keep increasing dosage or is it asking for trouble?

I have a trusted trip sitter but I am a bit nervous about going beyond 6 grams. Please advise.



Visuals are heavily dose dependent, so adjust that first.  What's your source, homegrown MS, wild, other?  Do you know (from experience of others) that they have normal potency?  Dried correctly?  Because fresh has an edge for potency in most cases...

6 g should send most people.  But yes if that isn't getting what you want just increase it.  There's no real danger from that and everybody's response is different.

:goodday:


--------------------

if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat you
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: :awesomenod: Wheat Prep 2.0  Acidic Tea Tek  Potency Project! 

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Frenchie718]
    #25688363 -

Well there is a number of things to consider and many have already been mentioned.

Set and Setting, 0 external stimuli / silent darkness, If you have a someone sober with you it best to have them only enter your space / room if there is an emergency. Also if your sober sitter is making noise in other room then it's pointless to have them there.
you said
Frenchie718 said:
I don't really set an intention except to let them take me where they want to take me.

Which I feel is a good mindset to go in with, but don't be afraid to ask for something, keep it simple and only to one thing. who knows? maybe you'll get a response?

It is also quite possible that you are indeed just naturally very resistant to the effects. I think the DMT clinical trails that Rick Strassman did showed something like 1 in 25 people had very little effects / where almost immune from the IV DMT. I could be wrong about those numbers, that seems kinda high.

What helped me get over that ethical living crises situation was Cannabis coupled with mediation. It took a few years of Cannabis assisted mediation  to find peace with that part of myself.

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: Frenchie718]
    #25688412 -

Frenchie718 said:
Dear shroomers,

I have been experimenting with psilocybin in order to grapple with mortality and fear of relapse issues after a cancer which is for now at bay. I started low (1.5 gr) and worked my way up to 6 grams over the course of a year, but I have yet to experience the kind of mystical, ego-blasting journey which seems to help people in my situation in clinical trials. On the high doses I get very emotional and very preoccupied with ethical living - and the perceptual distortions can be very beautiful - but I do not experience closed eyes visuals, ever, nor do I dissolve into a greater consciousness. Does this happen to other people? Why am I so resistant? Should I keep increasing dosage or is it asking for trouble?

I have a trusted trip sitter but I am a bit nervous about going beyond 6 grams. Please advise.


Wouldn't You consider getting rather emotional a part of an ego release?
Going over 6 grams is rather redundant.

Have You tried using LSD to help rid Your ego?
LSD seems to dissolve My ego very quite well [in higher dosages].

And for the closed eye visuals and diving deep into consciousness...
I suggest speaking to a good old kitty or communicating with Gaia on DMT.


--------------------
LSD Dosage Effects - Tolerance - FULL Version - Bluelight.org:alert:  :alien: :mushroom2:

SSRis + Psychedelics

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Re: The ego doesn't want to go [Re: heatlessbbq]
    #25689796 -

Thanks for your input everyone. I don't know how to respond to specific messages, so here are all my answers at once:

I've done 4 grams and above 3 times now, I trip every two months on average, and I use psilocybin tinctures with very consistent potency.

Never tried LSD but maybe I will.

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