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Offlinechibiabos
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Registered: 03/16/17
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25698448 - 12/23/18 02:35 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

I'm not going to read those stories and congratulate you for what seems like just a godawful attitude towards women.  And, honestly, sometimes people really are too busy to hang out.  Happens all of the goddammed time.  Sometimes they forget to call and sometimes they just straight up forget about some plans that you make altogether.  It doesn't mean that they're conspiring to cut you out of their lives.  Being forgetful or always being busy doesn't make somebody a shitty person, and it doesn't betray the existence of some animation -- on their part -- against you.  That's just paranoid nonsense.

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Offlineyeah
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: chibiabos]
    #25698490 - 12/23/18 03:00 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

yeah you're kind of seeing what you want to see


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25698564 - 12/23/18 03:45 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah you’re not gonna get a response from most people. That’s just the way it goes.

Idk adding people to Facebook seems a little pushy until you’ve met them. Essentially you’re asking them to reveal their personal details and friends. And it’s awkward if it doesn’t work.

Maybe your profile is too wordy? Stick to the basics. Don’t get into your philosophy for life in a profile.

Sometimes it’s just best to say hi and if they respond then you can start a convo. It might be offputting if the first thing you say is a comment about their profile or that they are hot, etc. it boxes you in.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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Offlinekoods
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: chibiabos]
    #25698567 - 12/23/18 03:47 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

chibiabos said:
I'm not going to read those stories and congratulate you for what seems like just a godawful attitude towards women.  And, honestly, sometimes people really are too busy to hang out.  Happens all of the goddammed time.  Sometimes they forget to call and sometimes they just straight up forget about some plans that you make altogether.  It doesn't mean that they're conspiring to cut you out of their lives.  Being forgetful or always being busy doesn't make somebody a shitty person, and it doesn't betray the existence of some animation -- on their part -- against you.  That's just paranoid nonsense.



If someone is into you, they won’t be too busy to say hi or let you know you aren’t being ghosted.

One caveat is that insecure people often forget that the other person might be just as insecure. If you’ve ever gotten cold feet or bailed on someone because you were insecure,consider that other people do that too. Flakey people are often just scared.

OP haven’t you posted pics in the sexy guys thread? I seem to remember you being good looking. So many dudes with your attitude way underestimate their looks.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

Edited by koods (12/23/18 03:53 PM)

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Offlineyeah
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: koods]
    #25698712 - 12/23/18 05:38 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

not sure, I did post my pic on /r/truerateme the other day and they said my eyes slant the wrong way and my face is too fat so I'm below average lol

also it's hard to win in OLD because a lot of girls put "don't just say hi or hey in your message or I won't respond"


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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25698742 - 12/23/18 05:50 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

OP do you have any female friends? Not women that you were interested in that "friend-zoned" you, but friends. Women that you enjoy spending time with but are not interested in being sexual with?


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"

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Offlineyeah
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: Patchouli_Savage]
    #25698984 - 12/23/18 08:22 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

nah I don't have any friends. Drifted away from everyone I knew in hs and never jived with anyone at community college. No one even wants to make friends there. I even tried making friends with people at bjj for the 6 years I did it and that never happened.

I do have gaming buddies that I've known for ever.


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InvisibleAcuriousmycologist
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25699075 - 12/23/18 09:33 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

It's stacked against women in a different way. Yeah,  if you just want sex,  it's great to be a woman... you can chuck up a profile and be sorted in a short time.  If you want people who are actually interested in you and not primarily looking for sex,  if you don't want to be criticized and insulted for not responding to all messages immediately,  if you don't want random cock pics,  you're screwed.  I think there's less women online because it's a shitty place to be full of entitled douchebags. There can't be that much of an imbalance been the numbers of single men and women.

And remember,  if one person's an asshole, they're an asshole.  If everyone's an asshole,  you're the asshole.


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We're all mentally ill. We're all delusional. We're all junkies. It's just a matter of degree
(the Venerable Robina Curtin)

Anything I say here is a fiction, for role play or research only. Full of bollocks I am. I wouldn't believe me.

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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25699291 - 12/24/18 12:36 AM (5 years, 3 months ago)

Maybe just making friends is a good place to start? It's weird making new friends after 30 but maybe if you take a class or something you might meet some cool people. Or join a club that's not a gym, something where people are more likely to interact. Not sure what your community is like but there's meet up groups for almost everything, or in my town there are classes offered for adults at the high school in the evenings, such as foreign language, or knittimg, but there's more physical stuff too like skiing or snowshoeing or mountain biking.

I've learned also that the less concerned you are about dating/sex, the more opportunities open up for dating. Women will feel more comfortable hanging around with you if you're just sharing in a common interest as opposed to looking to date or hook up. If you don't have an end goal in mind other than to meet new people and learn a hobby or interest, you would be less disappointed if women you talk to don't want to sleep with you. Maybe you'll make some friends. Maybe you won't. But you could still be cultivating new interests which fosters personal growth.


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"

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InvisibleSARAtonin
Violent Dreams
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Registered: 09/28/11
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: koods]
    #25699757 - 12/24/18 09:01 AM (5 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Quote:

SARAtonin said:
That incel tears page had me cracking up. :smilingpuppy:



You're the worst kind of Becky. A Lesbecky.



As if.
I’m the girl “Becky” has been making fun of her whole life.

Edited by SARAtonin (12/24/18 12:32 PM)

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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,274
Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25700365 - 12/24/18 01:36 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

You should make a fake woman profile, look at all the guys you compete against. Even talk to some of them. Decifer and analyze the ones who you imagine being most and least successful. Compare them to yourself, and try up your game to their level.. not joking here, it gives you some serious insight. It can be cringey and disheartening to see. It gives you the perspective of women on those apps / websites. You'll see how many messages you'll get bombarded with from the start, even if you don't even have a profile pic of a woman

I did that, profile pic of one single meme, got like 20 messages from sad looking dudes in just 1 hour. Checked it again just a month later and there were like 500 messages from guys. All pretty sad, bland and cringe

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Invisibletrees
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25700414 - 12/24/18 01:52 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
nah I don't have any friends. Drifted away from everyone I knew in hs and never jived with anyone at community college. No one even wants to make friends there. I even tried making friends with people at bjj for the 6 years I did it and that never happened.

I do have gaming buddies that I've known for ever.




Also you seem to ignore that you are not in the least bit interesting at all. You have no friends because you have nothing unique going on in your life. You seem to have no interesting knowlege about any topic at all to talk about with anybody. Video games are not interesting to anybody. Sounds like you've let your character go stale which absolutley nobody will find attractive


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Trees is dead, this is his mum posting



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Offlineyeah
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Registered: 02/08/09
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: trees]
    #25700628 - 12/24/18 03:46 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

where did you get that impression? In this thread I already mentioned meditating every day for 4 years and doing bjj for 6 years. I keep up with mma, I know a lot about posture and health. IDG why the word incel makes people jump to so many fucking conclusions.

I looked at your post history and half of it is in the hot girls thread or other relationship shit. Do you have any interests besides sharing your opinion on that subject?

I have no friends because I have trouble relating to people and opening up. Meditating my ass off didn't change that so I'm not sure what to do about it.


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Edited by yeah (12/24/18 03:57 PM)

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Invisibletrees
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25700748 - 12/24/18 05:14 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

Well at the end of the day there's still no one to blame but yourself. I know unattractive dudes who get all the ass they'd ever want, id gues its because they worked on their charisma and have plenty of fun stuff to talk about with women


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Trees is dead, this is his mum posting



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OfflineBikerfool
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: trees]
    #25701007 - 12/24/18 08:09 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

OP, you seem defensive and self deprecating.
There's no humor or positivity in your text.
Maybe having a therapist to talk to and working out some of your personal issues is a good place to start.

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Offlineyeah
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: Bikerfool]
    #25701271 - 12/24/18 11:01 PM (5 years, 3 months ago)

not exactly sure what to say to that that wouldn't be defensive or self deprecating


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OfflineBikerfool
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25701368 - 12/25/18 12:25 AM (5 years, 3 months ago)

It's tough being isolated. There's no shame in seeking someone out that you can talk to and get stuff off your chest with, if you haven't already.

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Invisiblepseudonym88
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Registered: 02/19/09
Posts: 1,143
Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25731792 - 01/08/19 02:31 PM (5 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
nah I don't have any friends. Drifted away from everyone I knew in hs and never jived with anyone at community college. No one even wants to make friends there. I even tried making friends with people at bjj for the 6 years I did it and that never happened.

I do have gaming buddies that I've known for ever.




1) get out of the incel game, reading stories of failure won't make you more confident and you will store that stuff in your brain and it will negatively impact how you interact with women

2) stop smoking weed all day

3) do you have a job? If you don't, get one or get out of town

4) Make friends with people of both sexes in real life.

Make friends, and relationships of all types will come out of them. You need to generally find people you connect to, randomly hoping an online dating profile is going to be a soulmate is probably not going to work, especially if you live in a small town and kinda know already exactly what is available. If you don't like the people around you, change them and see what happens.

Go travelling, broaden your mind in other ways besides gaming as there's not many available women in that sphere and if there is they're likely to be 1000 miles away from you anyway.

If you're lonely where you are and in your current situation, change it, but that doesn't mean go to a bar and sit there alone or spend all day in your room meditating (not that i'm saying no to meditation, it's a very useful tool but you need some other life too - something worth exploring might be why you drifted away from all your friends - find the root of that issue and you might find out why you're struggling to make new ones).

If you struggle with confidence why not travel to a random country and hook up with a tour group for a month or something. Everyone is in the same boat then. Maybe work at a hostel for a while, you'll meet loads of people who want adventures of all kinds. You're still young enough to just do it. But you also need to present with a positive can do attitude, no whining and moaning. Keep smiling and see joy in everything

IMO people are attracted to happiness in others. They want to look at a prospective partner and see a positive future. From experience, the vast majority of women don't care very much about looks in their partner. They might have a specific thing they prefer like blue eyes, or curly hair. But, I look around the women I know and it's definitely the nice guys that get the girl. Yes a minority will want someone exceptionally hot, or exceptionally rich. But besides being someone to brag about to your friends, those women are not relationship material, so forget about them. Your looks won't be any kind of problem to the vast majority of women.

That's not to say forget all of your own 'standards', if you're into sport and fitness and a healthy diet and want someone with similar interests it makes sense that you won't find someone morbidly obese attractive.

PS - women are pretty astute. How 'into' the girl you last slept with were you? If not very, she will have definitely known, and that could easily be why she ghosted you after. Only a minority of women want to be a notch on the bed post, or a casual entertainment until something better comes along

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Offlineyeah
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: pseudonym88]
    #25732259 - 01/08/19 06:23 PM (5 years, 2 months ago)

idk how to make friends, no one irl is ever as cool as the handful of gaming buddies I have. Even if they're cool in their own way I just can't feel like I'm in the same place as them. It's hard to put into words. Also it's rare to meet an open hearted person here. They always want to present themselves a certain way etc. It's a city. I did bjj for 6 years and was never able to become more than just acquaintances with any of my training partners, despite my efforts. I've looked at the subreddit for my city and there's a repeated sentiment that most people here aren't interested in getting to know anyone outside of their social circle.

I've been looking for work for awhile but it's a huge numbers game. Even with fast food and grocery stores they get so many applicants that a non normie like me has to interview with just the right hiring manager that isn't looking for someone with a fake disposition. I'm reserved and honest, death sentences for interviewing. You have to be so upbeat and just say whatever they wanna hear and how they wanna hear it. I don't come off as cynical, but for example I was asked what I enjoyed about my last job and thought for a second and said "nothing", which was an honest answer. I couldn't even think of anything to bullshit about the job. I had already said I got along with my coworkers so there was nothing else positive to mention.  I've been to an interview class at a career center and the instructor just spent an hour talking about the types of interviews there are and then another hour about the types of questions they'll ask with no examples of how to answer. But yeah I'm trying to get a job that isn't security because I fucking hate it.

Confidence isn't a problem for me for the most part. Haven't looked at any incel shit for a couple weeks, either.

I appreciate the suggestions, but yeah I have no cash and can't travel. I'd only want to travel to train martial arts, though. Maybe hike.

I don't care for drugs or alcohol. I used to smoke weed a lot but it gives me psychotic breaks.

I'm not really sure where to go from here. I found a Judo club I can kind of afford for now but I was the only adult student. It would only be worth it to just drill with the only black belt there. But I enjoy that and I can earn legit Judo rank through them so that's cool.


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OfflineBikerfool
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Registered: 11/21/05
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Re: Can't stop reading the incel subreddit [Re: yeah]
    #25732452 - 01/08/19 07:29 PM (5 years, 2 months ago)

You've got to practice to get good at job interviews.

You can do this by yourself. Write common interview questions down on index cards. Shuffle them up and then sit in front of a mirror and practice answering questions.

There's going to be some B.S. involved, everybody does it and you'll get better with practice.

The first couple of interviews I did without practice went horribly.

When I drill and practice I generally get the job.

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