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I killed my demons * 5
    #25570880 -

I haven’t smoked cigarettes, drank, or smoked weed in 3 days now.

I was drinking a pint-fifth a day all day long, smoking an ounce a week and a pack of cigs a day.

I only drank for a month and didn’t get withdrawals, I feel really tense and want a cigarette, and life is kind of dull without weed.

plus I’m sick as fuck and feel like shit anyway, so I figured now would be the ideal time to quit.

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25570893 -

Three days is a good start but its really on you to continue to find happiness without dosing as the days go on.

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 2
    #25570942 -

Any day without excessive drinking and smoking tobacco is a good day, imho.
I still haven't found much wrong with weed, except threat of arrest and prosecution(in my state:gc:)
I do smoke a whole hellava lot less these days since being diagnosed with COPD, emphysema and asbestosis,
but I haven't completely quit. :toke:

:bliss: . . . :peace:


--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 6
    #25570969 -

I think your demons are taking a nap.

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Crazy_Horse]
    #25570980 -

Yeah the third day is usually the hardest actually. Get some vitamins do the hippie things. It's gonna take a lot more tribulation, probably. Good luck


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul


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Re: I killed my demons [Re: King Klick]
    #25571906 -

yeah I feel suprisingly fine

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: vinsue]
    #25571950 -

vinsue said:
I do smoke a whole hellava lot less these days since being diagnosed with COPD, emphysema and asbestosis,
but I haven't completely quit. :toke:

:bliss: . . . :peace:


Have you considered vaporizing your herbs instead?
There's pretty great little portable vape pens nowadays for well under $50.

The smoke from combustible plant matter does irritate my throat and lungs quite a bit these days. Using vaporizers has made it a non-issue.


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: kr0nik0] * 1
    #25572007 -

Good job man but 3 days is only like 72 hours haha


--------------------

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25572440 -

Drop the cigarettes and booze, but small amounts of weed via a healthy ROA is good for your spirit! :volcano:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Robo] * 2
    #25573025 -

Quitter.

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25573055 -

xbloodwhipx said:
I haven’t smoked cigarettes, drank, or smoked weed in 3 days now.



A few hours later talking about playing video games last night:

xbloodwhipx said:
oh I was very high during all of this. Really helps me feel like I’m actually there murding them myself rather than playing a game.


Take your +1's back, people.
Scam verified.


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: kr0nik0]
    #25573108 -

Are you coming up for air or spending a bit on the beach?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25573118 -

I just took a bunch of dabs and now feel like a dick for making that post.
Being all anal and shit. That's not like me. At least I don't think.
But I can't take it down now or your post won't have any context.

Although I have no clue whatsoever what you're referencing. :vaped:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: kr0nik0]
    #25573126 -

Kron you've inspired me to say fuck it and dab too

Saudi Arabia's legislature is gonna feel this one


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25573150 -

BTW your demons are doing push ups while you try to get DNS to work on pornhub on your Gear VR's proprietary browser


Just a heads up; trust me.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25573213 -

VERY GOOD WORK xbloodwhipx !


You probably heard my nicotine story before, my 2 quittings.

I'm quit now, STAY QUIT.

Every time you feel a pang, counter it be stating your revulsion against the addiction.


Either you put the cigarette/bottle/weed out, or it will put YOU out.


A VERY large part of your problems was that you were chronicaly undermined by an onslaught of willpower reducing drugs.

Be STRONG!

Be STRONG to SAVE YOUR LIFE.

You need a clear head and lungs that can pump O2 to your muscles instead of smoke gases like carbon monoxide and hydrogen cyanide, which by the way are the two poison gases used in the Holocaust. Think about that - thats POISON. The poisons in engine exhaust gases and Zyklon B and you have been inhaling that throughout the day.

Nicotine! potent action on the heart, speeds it up, whilew conscricting yoiur veins.
Poison!

Every time you feel a pang state loud and clear your motivations to quit.

Use the pangs of withdrawal to indoctrinate yourself with reasons to KEEP QUIT.

If you succeed to stay quit, this was THE BEST THING YOU DID ALL YEAR FOR YOURSELF.

If you stay quit, this was a GOOD YEAR FOR YOU no matter how shite the rest was if you STAY QUIT.

You have been sucking the tailpipe of addiction, the poison gases, the fine particulate dust that got into your arteries, clogging your veins and laying the foundation for heart disease later in life. The tar so toxic it would be illegal to sell it as roofing tar.  Alcohol, turns to acetaldehyde which is a DNA alkylating agent just like formaldehyde. Premature aging of the skin and all tissues, cancer risk, fucking stomping your liver on soccer cleats with every fifth.

Mr Reynolds and Philip Morris have been tag teaming your ass Zed & Maynard style with those fags and you didnt just let them, you PAID FOR IT!

FUCK THAT, ok?

CHOOSE LIFE.

You have been led astray like a dumb cow by the nosering right to the slaughterhouse.

Fucking stampede and break free.

You got anger in you, USE THAT ANGER for you.

Smokes and booze have turned you, YOU into a miserable beta cuck.

Its over, you quit.

Every single day for the years to come you wil get healthier and healthier

THE MARLBORO MAN DIED OF LUNG CANCER.

You are strongwilled, use that power, exert it on breaking free from the shackles that you not just paid hundreds of bucks a month for but you sacrificed your health for.

LETS SEE YOUR WAR FACE :warcry:

Stay quit.







Either you quit them on top of the world, or they quit you six feet under.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Asante]
    #25573220 -

By the way you can't kill demons. You can however, shackle and gag them so they won't bother you anymore. I'm talking compartimentalizing addictive patterbns so that in time they get overwritten by neuroplasticity into useful brain functions.

Distance yourself from the slightest addictive thought :no: and state your intentions. INDOCTRINATE like the media do. Repeat, over and over, that you dont want it and that therefore you will not indulge in it any more.

THERE IS NO FAILURE IN A MADE UP MIND. Drugs dont use themselves.

Its commonly seen that after 100 days, many people who quit smoking dont really particularly think of smoking again. Surely you can tiger on for 100 96 days.

Godspeed man, or devilspeed or wherever you derive the speed from to KEEP GOING.






You feel withdrawal tension. Galvanize that to anger and ferocity aimed solely at the drugs.

Not who you bought it from, not philip morris, not the plant or the yeast, certainly not at you, dont kick yourself because you need your power.

Aim it at the addictive pattern.

YOU WANT THE CRAVING TO END. 

You dont want to use, you just think you do, you just want to stop suffering/.

That can only be accomplished by getting OUT of the addiction.


Drink plenty water, some fruit juice, pick up a multivitamin, good healthy food choices, exercise hard if you can muster it.

Empower yourself!


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Asante] * 1
    #25573221 -

BloodWhip, I dont know the kind of person you are at heart. My prior message was directed to you, not Kron.

That said, idk if this will fit you or not but it seems to me to be one of the few things we would land on common on.

That said, some of the more impulsive ones like cigs I had good success with by looking the discomfort in the eye if that makes sense

I still do that with any discomfort I find in myself. It may help fortify you. I hope it does.

All the best to you. Godspeed. It's always that 4th day too... stay strong.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: kr0nik0]
    #25573331 -

kr0nik0 said:
xbloodwhipx said:
I haven’t smoked cigarettes, drank, or smoked weed in 3 days now.



A few hours later talking about playing video games last night:

xbloodwhipx said:
oh I was very high during all of this. Really helps me feel like I’m actually there murding them myself rather than playing a game.


Take your +1's back, people.
Scam verified.


no I was trolling there for effect to seem like a psychopath :shrug:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25573339 -

ok you got me

I slipped up and smoked a single joint of some roach weed :shrug:

weed isn’t my main focus anyway, I’d be happy at getting high once or twice every few days. I’m not getting high today though.

Also thanks to all the responses I read them all :awesome:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25573342 -

st1llnox said:
BTW your demons are doing push ups while you try to get DNS to work on pornhub on your Gear VR's proprietary browser


Just a heads up; trust me.


thanks for the heads up I will be very careful because I know they will be back :lol:

I was thinking this morning how much better a cigarette would feel.

got a deep feeling of disgust toward them once I thought about the grip they still have one me.

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25573347 -

RoboShaman said:
Drop the cigarettes and booze, but small amounts of weed via a healthy ROA is good for your spirit! :volcano:


i agree!

st1llnox said:
BloodWhip, I dont know the kind of person you are at heart. My prior message was directed to you, not Kron.

That said, idk if this will fit you or not but it seems to me to be one of the few things we would land on common on.

That said, some of the more impulsive ones like cigs I had good success with by looking the discomfort in the eye if that makes sense

I still do that with any discomfort I find in myself. It may help fortify you. I hope it does.

All the best to you. Godspeed. It's always that 4th day too... stay strong.


yeah I’ve notice a lot of my nicotine relapses once second I’m fine and the next I’m smoking a cigarette. Not this time though.



Oh and ASANTE, I didn’t ignore your post friend thanks for the words :heart:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25573379 -

I want you guys to know that I DO fuck around a lot on here and sometimes act insane and shit, but I am actually a normal human being and am completely sincecere in this post!

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25573479 -

Well I’ve been pretty concerned about ur oxy abuse just cuz krat is illegal oxy is no good bro
It wasn’t mentioned in this thread but I remember multiple occasions of u mentioning it.  I wish u the best.  Smoke the weed if it helps u kick the real poisons


--------------------


theRealrollforever said:
That’s not possible; even with computers

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #25574082 -

Side note if the nicotine ones ever get out of control, literally most cravings last under 3 minutes.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25574108 -

Im happy for you yo.

Quitting nicotine will be really hard for me. It make almost any other substance better. Same with weed.

Polydrug use has pretty much taken over my life. Even though im off heroin now I cant stay sober for more than 2 days, and during those 2 days I chain smoke the whole time.

Traded daily heroin and speedball injection for a weekly cycle of: Week 1 phenibut and gabapentin combo every 2 days. Week 2 Kratom every day and gabapentin every 3 days. And so on. Drinking on random days throughout the cycle as well.

Now I dont wake up feeling horrible and wanting to die, which is really fucking awesome honestly. But I still have the addiction mindset. Thats really the hardest part to kick.

I think what Im trying to say is youre much stronger than me right now, and Im proud of you.

:thumbup: :heart:


--------------------

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: trvptamine]
    #25576040 -

First day of classes sober today (literally have been high at every single class this year), ive had 2 so far. Everything (assignments) are SO much less stressful now that im not high.

Like before id stress and procrastinate all week if my assignment was due friday.

Now im getting shit done early like i did in highschool!

Edited by xbloodwhipx (10/29/18 09:54 AM)

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25576052 -

I kept it to myself but fuck it, i was going to kill myself friday night. Ive been planning it for awhile (2 months). i had my shotgun in my fucking mouth. I couldn't pull the trigger even though i wanted to.

I feel like that was my breaking point, and my life is starting to turn around now. For the first time in a long time i dont want to die anymore...

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 1
    #25576069 -

check yourself into a mental hospital.

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Crazy_Horse] * 1
    #25576316 -

Thanks cole i found this and damn it spoke to me


second verse/half of the song

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25576648 -

xbloodwhipx said:
I kept it to myself but fuck it, i was going to kill myself friday night. Ive been planning it for awhile (2 months). i had my shotgun in my fucking mouth. I couldn't pull the trigger even though i wanted to.

I feel like that was my breaking point, and my life is starting to turn around now. For the first time in a long time i dont want to die anymore...




Could you, like, hand over your hardware to a friend for safe keeping or at least get rid of the shells so you can't chamber one?

Get help man, really - you hit rock bottom but still, reach out to get the RL help you need with this.

:heart:


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Asante]
    #25576792 -

Asante said:
xbloodwhipx said:
I kept it to myself but fuck it, i was going to kill myself friday night. Ive been planning it for awhile (2 months). i had my shotgun in my fucking mouth. I couldn't pull the trigger even though i wanted to.

I feel like that was my breaking point, and my life is starting to turn around now. For the first time in a long time i dont want to die anymore...




Could you, like, hand over your hardware to a friend for safe keeping or at least get rid of the shells so you can't chamber one?

Get help man, really - you hit rock bottom but still, reach out to get the RL help you need with this.

:heart:


Theres no need to be melodramatic and get rid of the shotgun; Blood, why dont you take the firing pin out and freeze it into a cup of ice?

Glad you changed your mind man. :smile:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25576801 -

Whats melodramatic about handing over your shotgun (or stash) to a friend when you are close to losing it, so you can ask it back and be assessed by that friend when you do.

I did it with drugs i had compulsive issues with, like MDMA and MXE. When you don't hold it, you can't take it.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: Asante]
    #25576818 -

Having been in a similar situation in the past, OP may feel uncomfortable drawing attention to it either by explaining to a friend or lending out shotguns unsolicited as a favor to him. Impulse is the main danger with firearm suicides so it's the next few minutes more than it is the next day or two.

It's just an idea in case he would feel like he was being that way, plus if he's over it then the only danger is an impulse one for now. Melodramatic might not be the word for that kind of revealing/feeling like its flaunting thing but it's the best I came up with.

There are other reasons logistically to do it that way like not worrying about someone panicking and sending him to the psych ward

But I mean he has a shotgun and he's talking to us.

Blood, you're cool now, yeah?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25576826 -

Get rid of the gun...


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul


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Re: I killed my demons [Re: King Klick]
    #25576849 -

He just revealed something deep that might be an opportunity to really connect. Maybe we should quit fixating on a circumstantial detail of that and see what we can learn about blood or what he would like to share?

Blood I totally get you man :smile: I think. Any hobbies catch your eye yet?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: I killed my demons [Re: st1llnox]
    #25576873 -

The gun is a pretty big deal...but continue.


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul


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Re: I killed my demons [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25576922 -

Dude, what are you studying? I've just started studying after fuck knows how many years (I'm in my 40s) but it's giving me a goal and focus and that's what's important to me. It's a reason for me to stay sober.


--------------------


"great things may come to those who wait, but only what's left by those who hustle"

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