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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
hippyflip
    #2551919 - 04/12/04 06:30 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

me and a friend decided to hippyflip saturday night, both had never done it before, i've eaten acid and x but never shrooms with x, she never mixed any psychedelic with mdma. i had just got my e-z-test in the mail and tested the pills, straight to black was a good sign :smile: (as a warning should be sober when testing pills, i was pretty drunk and decided to test the pill on my skin because i didn't have anything to do it on and it gave me some nice burns :frown:) this was a few days prior though, i wasn't drunk going into this experience.

so we went shopping before hand picked up some supplies, glowsticks, various fruit, oj, i even picked up a san pedro at %@#-mart for $1.50 i was so happy since the one by my place didn't have them but this one did, so that was a good sign put me in a happy mood  (i thought) btw we used none of that stuff.

ate the pills (1 each) when we got back to my place, and started cleaning up and getting everything ready for the night, setting up music, lights, cleaning up beer bottles all that. about an hour later i start getting real spaced out coming up from the x, all scatter brained and startin to breath heavy, she wasn't feeling much but had eaten a few hours prior while i hadn't eaten for 2 days. we decided it was time to eat the shrooms so i dumped 4g each of ground up shrooms into some oj and slammed it down.

the experience was weird, we were expecting a roll with visuals which it kinda was but it was a real mellow sleepy type roll not the energetic dancing talking asses off type which we both like better. we ended up just laying there next to each other not really talking or moving for about an hour, i had a really good euphoria going felt really amazing but just wanted to lay there with my eyes closed and feel good, not really interact with each other. the visuals were very intense, i had the flutter vision of mdma but with the tryptamine visuals overlaid into it, never experienced anything like that before which was really cool. also the comeup of the shrooms was non-existant, it was like i just started tripping all of the sudden rather than the anxiety i usually get, though it never bothers me it was nice to just be tripping all of the sudden for a change rather than the uncomfortable come-up. i think i would have had a better time by myself which isn't usually the case, whenever i trip shrooms with her it's always so fun, laughing talking about deep stuff (she's really smart likes to talk spirituality, politics, psychology, everything with me) and whenever we roll together it's usually the best relationship therapy ever. eventually i left the room we were in and went off by myself for an hour or so and just was thinking about stuff and got really depressed (was actually crying of sadness on mdma which was a first) i think the trip kinda over powered the roll probably since we had only eaten a pill each.

i thought this experience might bring us closer together like every other time we take mind expanding drugs  but it was the exact opposite for me. when i went off by myself i started thinking about how much i dislike my girl even though i love her more than anything in the world and have been with her for a while now and have known her since 2nd grade, likeing someone and loving them is two diffrent things. i just really wanted her out of my house. she came and got me because she said she was lonely by herself so i went into the room with her again and she tried showing me stuff like what she drew and wrote while she was in there and i just didn't give a shit. i felt bad but i'm not one to candycoat shit usually so i basically ignored her, she was getting into stuff about herself like we usually do, getting to know each other better when rolling or tripping and i still didn't care just anwsering with yeah, un hun, yup, cool, ect. i ended up drinking a lot of beer and smoking some bud to knock my ass out as to not have to deal with her anymore, she was getting all lovely talking about how happy she was with "us" and i just turned my back and fell asleep, i think she got the hint because we were susposed to spend easter with her family and she just left without me in the morning. and didn't come home till late at night and just went straight to bed and to work today, haven't talked to her since saturday and we live together.

the whole night just sucked externally, internally i had an amazing time if that makes any sence. i like the realizations i came to the other night and am seriously considering just leaving her but i don't know if i can actually do it. like i said i love her more than ANYTHING and would give my life for her even today, but i just don't like her anymore. i know even at my young age that i'll never love another person as much as her though, so i'm really at a loss as to what to do. i can't stand being with her and can't stand being without her. sorry to keep going on about my personal life but it feels good to get this stuff out and i don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff to my friends. also when i was in my room alone i was thinking about all you guys (the shroomery in general) and how awesome this place is, connecting like minds all over the world. this place harbors some of the best souls on the earth and i :heart: each and everyone of you. sorry to get all mushy on ya :tongue:

all in all i had a good time, i guess. i've been severly depressed since then which is unusual for me but i like it oddly enough.( i don't attribute this to taking mdma since i never get depressed the day after, i think it's just because of the thoughts i had that night) if i did it again i think i would want to eat more pills or less shrooms. it just kinda flattened me and made me just wanna lay there and think, i like to do that but by myself not with other people around plus it wasn't the kinda of shroom thinking it felt kinda fake due to the pills more of a recreational combo than a spirtual one aside from the fact of not being able to do anything but lay there hence the reason for more pills or maybe do some speed if more pills weren't around (don't judge please, shrooms are sacred i know and i use them spiritually, but i feel it's more productive if you're able to interact with the person you're with rather than just lay there. if i was by myself i wounldn't do anything else. i also realized drugs are a major part of my life (mainly psychedelics) which i can't decide if it's a bad thing or not. i'm going to school for chemistry and botany because drugs spawned my interest in those subjects i'm not just doing it to make or grow drugs, i'm actually interested in the legitamate aspects of both fields. i'm always seeking some sort of sensation whether it be a high or a low which is why i enjoy being depressed. they've changed me so much i used to be this egotistical asshole, now i'm this fuckin 18 year old hippy, making clothes and jewerly, growing all kinds of things (actives and non like fruits and veggies) preaching about peace and love and respect for all living things. anyway sorry to go on about all this stuff just bored :stoned:


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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Offlineiloveraving
Fighting themachine...

Registered: 08/27/02
Posts: 1,965
Loc: ..long road ahead..
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: hippyflip [Re: John]
    #2552024 - 04/12/04 07:14 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I've noticed the general consensus of the hippyflip, is its nothing like a candyflip, and is quite introspective. I had a very similiar hippyflip as you, I was in the same situation as you living with my girl and everything.. The hippyflip, which I had very similiar thoughts as you, was the beginning of the end. Not saying its like that for you. But if these are your real feelings, she needs to know. You need to figure out why you felt that way if you arent sure, and honesty brother.. You have to be honest, she may not understand, but you know you're a honest person, and thats the rite way. I couldnt figure out if these feelings I had were true. The thoughts of if she was really the one I wanted this relationship with never went away. I had some other rough trips with these thoughts. We argued a lot, on the daily when sober. Honesty came out a little at a time, and we dragged it on for a year longer then we should of. Figure out what your issues are with her, and figure out if they are things that are worth working on or not. You're young too, there's a lot of girls out there, some mite be better for you. I would accept this fact at first. I'm 20, I was with my girl for 5 years, we lived together 2 years. This all went down 5 months ago, and I'm just starting to realise... Nope, she wasnt the one. Neither is the girl I'm trying to get with recently, but its a start to a long search.
You could be different though, I've always been a relationship/love guy, and not a pimp  :wexican:


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Daisy Wedding Favors


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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Re: hippyflip [Re: iloveraving]
    #2552108 - 04/12/04 07:47 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I've always been a relationship/love guy, and not a pimp




yeah me too :smile:

i know what you mean about the being young and more girls out there, we have a really open relationship, like if i think i like another girl i say I like another girl and want to pursue a relationship with her and see where it goes and i will and she understands, same with her.(been like this for about 3 years) actually i just got out of a 5 month relationship with another girl and the whole time it felt wrong, she was in love with me but vicki (the girl in the report) had my heart, like i said i just can't love another person like i do her but i'm getting to the point that i'm not really attracted to her even though she is beautiful, i can't even get off having sex with her anymore and she's starting to pick up on it, i usually just say i'm to drunk or i took some opiates eariler but that only works for so long. all the other people we've been with so far just aren't right, there's always just something wrong with them. me and her were made for each other and there's no denying it, everyone who's around us can pick up on it as well, there's just this vibe we give off when together. maybe i'm young and stupid but it's not like were limiting ourselves to each other at such a young age, we both see the stupidity in that just so far no one can even come close to her. i love her but i hate her two of the strongest emotions displayed on one person is why i think she is so important to me, i mean you can't hate something you don't care about or else you just wouldn't care same goes for love. i guess just let shit work itself out and see what happens, we're defentaly very open and honest with each other and tell each other how it is, though i pussied out saturday i just didn't want to bring her down when she was having a good time so i just ignored her. thanks for listning (or rather reading) :sun:


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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Offlineiloveraving
Fighting themachine...

Registered: 08/27/02
Posts: 1,965
Loc: ..long road ahead..
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: hippyflip [Re: John]
    #2552176 - 04/12/04 08:45 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Things will work out for you in the end. I can see your head is in the rite place, your heart too. You are wise for not bringing her down with you. And both of you are wise for having a open relationship since you are so young. This is a good thing. You'll eventually find out if she's the one. In all honesty, it sounds like she is the one for you. I shouldnt say, I dont know the situation.. But even with a open relationship, living with someone so close to you can get stressful. Make sure you have enough 'you' time. Yes you are young, but in a very mature relationship. Think about it, sounds like the same problems a old married couple goes through. Maybe she's just getting on your nerves from being around her so much. Thats definately reasonable, I think all of us guys know  :grin: I really dont know man, I dont know you two. It sounds like things will work out in the end, even if not... I'm sure it was fun, you'll get through it, and if it has to end... Its like a trip, at least you've learned from the experience, and its changed your life forever.

Honesty is what builds relationships, and also what breaks them. Remember that, and let me know how it works out.  :heartpump:


--------------------
Daisy Wedding Favors


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience

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