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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Registered: 11/13/10
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Advice on a Situation
    #25441875 - 09/07/18 07:58 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Two years ago, a "friend" of mine offered to fix some things on my airstream and remodel the entire interior with hand finished wood everything. He gave me a quote of $5000 which I paid him half up front and I paid for all materials and tools. He swore to me he wouldn't do meth or heroin while he was hired. The first week went by and I didn't see him at all. He shows up 2nd week all fired up and so we get all the wood which I also had to pick up and deliver. Had had included planing of the wood in the quote but completely skipped that part of the remodel. He only showed up after 5 pm the days he did show and would fool around with shit till 4am or so. His quote stated the job would be done in maximum 6 weeks. He knew I had a 12 week deadline before I had to leave and travel to arizona for my business. He ran out of money almost immediately and required $300 a week to keep him working, otherwise he was working other jobs and putting mine last. The 12 weeks come and go and he hasn't even half completed the wood working, never mind all the other shit he was supposed to do like replacing the heater, oven, converter, inverter, but he has been paid well over the quote by this point... He totally fucked up the wiring and I had no running lights once I got on the road, he took my door off and made it worse when he was trying to make it better(I have to buy a new door now). He revented the heater against my call and fucked it up too, and needs replacing(it was brand new). He put the wood floor in very first thing against my call and gouged big chunks out of it by the end with screws and dropping tools all over it. He went 10 days past my deadline and made me late for the best week and weekend of the show costing me another $5000. He was supposed to finish up the job last summer and never did it, always another excuse. He even "took" not stole as he says the welder I bought for the job, table saw, and various other small tools, but left his tool box and some old worn out tools behind, which he says he deserves back.

Now this year he has a fresh $20,000 in his pocket and a good job but will not finish the job, pay me back, and has gone as far to say that I still owe him $500 because I told him if he finished the job on time that I would give him a bonus. I bought more than enough lumber for the entire job but it's almost completely gone. His waste wood pile was larger than the finished wood... A couple of the real nice maple pieces for countertops that I bought, he altered against my demands behind my back so that I didn't want them. Of course they went home with him.

Am I in the wrong or is he? He needs to hear from as many people as possible, or maybe I do.


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InvisibleTulipslave
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea] * 2
    #25441877 - 09/07/18 08:01 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

you gave money/responsibility to a junkie.......you done fucked up


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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Tulipslave] * 1
    #25441889 - 09/07/18 08:13 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah, it sounds like he's definitely in the wrong from the perspective of the job. He didn't finish.

Giving a junkie $2500 up front then another $300 a week without some form of contract etc. is on you. This is the risk with under the table jobs. They may be cheaper, but when you use licensed/insured etc. contractors, you have a bit more recourse.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Tulipslave]
    #25441897 - 09/07/18 08:17 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Well sure but we go back to 9th grade. Shouldn't I be able to rely on him?
I'm to the point where I'm considering humiliating him by talking to his mother who I know and who he is living with right now. I gave him 2 clonazolam pills last summer. I took his keys away from him and made sure he was sober the next day before handing them back to him. Later that day he texts me asking me if he can sue my mom for me giving him the benzos. I mean WTF?


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: badchad]
    #25441900 - 09/07/18 08:18 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

badchad said:
Yeah, it sounds like he's definitely in the wrong from the perspective of the job. He didn't finish.

Giving a junkie $2500 up front then another $300 a week without some form of contract etc. is on you. This is the risk with under the table jobs. They may be cheaper, but when you use licensed/insured etc. contractors, you have a bit more recourse.



Doesn't that negate the friendship until he makes good? he doesn't seem to think so. He offered to do the job. There wasn't even the job on the table. It was his idea. I have enough documentation including the bid he proposed on paper and all receipts, witnesses on all accounts.


Edited by passifloracaerulea (09/07/18 08:22 AM)


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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #25441957 - 09/07/18 08:50 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

passifloracaerulea said:

Doesn't that negate the friendship until he makes good? he doesn't seem to think so. He offered to do the job. There wasn't even the job on the table. It was his idea. I have enough documentation including the bid he proposed on paper and all receipts, witnesses on all accounts.




Whether you negate the friendship until he makes good will have to be your decision. That probably depends on history and how badly you need the money. I understand hooking a friend up with work and compensating them, but 5k is enough where the lines between "friendship" and "job" start getting a bit blurry.

I suppose you could try your hand at small claims court to get the money back.

I assume you've already tried the easiest approach of simply explaining the situation and trying to reach a reasonable compromise. You might consider the simplest approach: What do you want at this point? What does he want?


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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InvisibleNimph
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea] * 1
    #25441972 - 09/07/18 08:58 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Dude fuck em he's a methhead you cant give them any slack what so ever.
While he's on that shit an lifestyle he aint your friend.

If telling his mom doesnt work take him to small claims court to try an get some of your money back.


--------------------
Hunters save your exotic prints to trade! https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/25617539:shroomeryhead:


Edited by Nimph (09/07/18 08:59 AM)


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea] * 1
    #25441989 - 09/07/18 09:06 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

passifloracaerulea said:
Well sure but we go back to 9th grade. Shouldn't I be able to rely on him?




I would say you kind of have that backwards. Sure a long-time friend should in theory be someone you can rely on, but that's because people don't tend to maintain long friendships with people they know they can't rely on. The amount of time you've known the guy doesn't in itself imply any kind of trustworthiness at all.


--------------------
BAN OP 2021


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: psi]
    #25442006 - 09/07/18 09:17 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

At least I can be sure that I'm not the one being the douchebag like he's been saying today. Now the story is posted online for him to see. He can see that the details are correct. It probably won't make a difference to him. I've discovered that he does not understand how to use the word sorry.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #25442067 - 09/07/18 09:50 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Without hearing his side of the story, it obviously sounds like he’s the douchebag.  But whenever I hear one side of things, and it paints the other person very awfully, I always wonder what their side of things sounds like.

But yeah, shitty deal either way.  A few years back, I had a friend that I’d known for over 20 years rip me off for a couple hundred dollars.  At the time I was pretty surprised; I can’t imagine doing something like that, especially to an old friend.  Of course, it was related to his heroin addiction.  If he’d called me and said that he was sorry, that he was working towards doing better, I would’ve forgiven him (even if I’d never trust him like I used to).  But he never apologized and I view the lost money as the fee I paid to learn that he was a shitty friend.  There’s a lot more money involved in your situation, but unless you can sue him for it, you might have to just think of it as the shitty friend fee.  Sucks, but at least you know who he is now.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #25442121 - 09/07/18 10:18 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

I hear ya. I'm hitting him hard hoping he'll figure it out that he's about to lose a multi million dollar buddy for ripping off a few thousand. I would help anyone in any situation, and have continued to help him with money and help with this and that the last 2 years. When my ex met him, she immediately said she was creeped out. I was gone one weekend and she caught him creeping around the house. Told him to stay away and he kept coming over at bad times without calling. She left and he is more than 50% the reason. Is there any wonder I won't trust him once I get visitation privelidges with my kids after not seeing them for 11 years? So you can see I could actually give a shit about the money, but it's the principle. At this point I expect him to pay me back. The retarded thing is that if he paid me back he could turn around and ask me for money whenever and I'd feel comfortable knowing he would pay me back and not just taking advantage of my wealth.


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InvisibleTulipslave
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #25442166 - 09/07/18 10:42 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Burke Dennings said:
Without hearing his side of the story, it obviously sounds like he’s the douchebag.  But whenever I hear one side of things, and it paints the other person very awfully, I always wonder what their side of things sounds like.

But yeah, shitty deal either way.  A few years back, I had a friend that I’d known for over 20 years rip me off for a couple hundred dollars.  At the time I was pretty surprised; I can’t imagine doing something like that, especially to an old friend.  Of course, it was related to his heroin addiction.  If he’d called me and said that he was sorry, that he was working towards doing better, I would’ve forgiven him (even if I’d never trust him like I used to).  But he never apologized and I view the lost money as the fee I paid to learn that he was a shitty friend.  There’s a lot more money involved in your situation, but unless you can sue him for it, you might have to just think of it as the shitty friend fee.  Sucks, but at least you know who he is now.







yep.  i had a friend rip me off for $4k worth of merchandise, at my cost, ~$8k on her end (what she was supposed to pay me); we'd been friends for 11-12 years, been doing this same deal off and on for a few years, been through all kinds of shit, thick and thin.  she got pissed at me for calling her out on it.  then she got arrested some months later.  i said okay, let's set up a long-term payment plan, and she totally flipped out on me like i was the bad guy.  she went and lived the high life for months with the money she didn't ever pay back, and she lost a friend who would've done damn near anything for her.


so it goes, people are fukked

:shrug:


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Tulipslave]
    #25442182 - 09/07/18 10:52 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Hmm I haven't offered him a long term payback plan, something at least. Even more fucked, he showed up last summer after not hearing from him for 6 months and immediately handed me a gr of heroin like that was his way of paying me back. I took the h and hid it from my now ex. She knew I was doing opiates and I soon started buying and hoarding pills which I had been clean off of for 2 and a half years. I'm just now getting my feet back on the ground again after that and a bad breakup where I fell off the benzo wagon harder than I ever have.


Edited by passifloracaerulea (09/07/18 10:53 AM)


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #25442221 - 09/07/18 11:17 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

The guy his name is Travis also likes to go to thailand every other year or so. I asked him what he does over there and he says he parties, drugs are cheap. Getting there is not cheap though so the only reason I can see him going over there is because he hasn't gotten laid in america in the last 20 years, and that is being very polite.


Edited by passifloracaerulea (09/07/18 11:17 AM)


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Tulipslave]
    #25442259 - 09/07/18 11:36 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Tulipslave said:

and she totally flipped out on me like i was the bad guy.




Haha, my thief friend tried the same stunt.  Acting like a victim and like I was the asshole for wanting my money.  I even started to halfway wonder if I WAS in fact the asshole in that situation, but one day his now ex-wife contacted me to apologize (even though it was all his doing).  People do some crazy projection shit to keep from feeling bad about the stuff they’ve done.  Sorry to hear about your former friend, though.

OP, do you think you have the necessary documentation to sue to this guy?


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #25442278 - 09/07/18 11:43 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

I do but that would suck. This thread is to confirm that I'm not the asshole. I've invited him to come here and read it for himself if he doesn't believe me. I've tried to ask our mutual friends their take and none of them want to get involved but they all say they would have never involved him in business. I'm too trusting. Very valuable lesson though. I might have let him be involved in my weed business and he fuck everything up or just sell to the wrong person.


Edited by passifloracaerulea (09/07/18 11:45 AM)


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #25442309 - 09/07/18 11:59 AM (2 years, 7 months ago)

I could go on and on about this guy. One more. I paid his way into burning man 2 years ago with a free ride in one of the best camps on esplanade as a lead builder, a bonus for mining for me before he pulled this crap. He was a pain in the ass to work with because he always knew best even though I was the one with mining experience, was the one paying his salary, and he wanted to screen all fines for the tiny slivers of aqua even though I spent hours trying to explain to him that it was more beneficial to move virgin ground and only go for the larger more visible crystals. I waited for him this year to make his mind up to go or not, and I missed out on reasonable tickets. He then said no at last minute knowing I was waiting for an answer the previous 2 weeks. I told him all he had to do to fix everything was get me a ticket and we'd be cool. He laughed and insulted me of course.


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #25442425 - 09/07/18 01:04 PM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Pay someone to fuck his shit up and scare the daylights out of him.  Make sure they use firearms and smack him up so he ends up in the hospital withdrawling from those opioids he 'needs' so bad.  You said you had money and from my interpretation you seem like a guy who knows people who could rough him up for the right price.  I don't give a fuck how long I've known you 5gs and I'll make sure your kneecaps get hit. Of course I'm poor so there that

People will say this will cause a war.  That's why you make it clear if they retaliate they'll be in a ditch

Btw I'm talking zip ties and real deal shit don't have someone just punch him or some bitch shit that will cause a war.

I'm also completely joking, ya kno :wink:


--------------------
:wizard: :wizard:
sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


Edited by theRealrollforever (09/07/18 01:07 PM)


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #25442430 - 09/07/18 01:07 PM (2 years, 7 months ago)

The insult of it is just as bad as the money itself, but it's both really. He has to learn one way or another.


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OfflineMycoMinded
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Re: Advice on a Situation [Re: passifloracaerulea]
    #25442498 - 09/07/18 01:46 PM (2 years, 7 months ago)

Is this guy even capable of finishing the work to your standards? I've never worked on a trailer but it sounds similar to interior boat carpentry - very exacting, and this doesn't sound like a guy capable of that.

You mentioned reventing a heater. Are you going to be able to sleep peacefully in that thing knowing this guy worked on the heater? Especially after you do whatever you have to do to get him to finish. He's not going to have a good attitude about it.
I had a cousin and his wife die in a boat fire shortly after their friend replaced the heater. You really have to know what you're doing to work on that stuff.

Put the guy on a payment plan and get someone qualified to finish the work, before you wind up with carbon monoxide poisoning.


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