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OfflinePsilocybeBeing
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Registered: 07/10/18
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[Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves]
    #25333950 - 07/18/18 03:49 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Amount: 1 gram
Ingestion: Mushroom tea
Setting: In my room around midnight
Duration: About 4 and a half hours

    This was my 5th or 6th time taking magic mushrooms. I decided to make tea this time due to the last time I had them I felt sick and it was unpleasant.
   
I weighed out exactly 1 gram and chopped it up into small pieces. This went into a french press coffee brewer, and I let it steep for about 20 minutes.
   
I aimed to prepare myself mentally by relaxing and doing deep breaths as well as meditation while listening to soothing music plus looking at Alan Watts quotes. I had a fan on to keep cool and the lights off other than some decorative multi-colored lights around the windows.
   
I then began slowly sipping the tea which didn't at all taste that bad. I was in a very relaxed and peaceful state of being. I had a stopwatch on and sipped the tea until about 20 minutes, but didn't finish it leaving about 1/6th of the tea left due to already feeling a strong onset after just 20 minutes.. so I decided to wait it out. 
   
I was laying on my bed just meditating and breathing, still very relaxed.. and I kept feeling the mushroom on set coming in waves and subsiding. I then felt the come-up fully taking an uphill momentum.. and it was really hard to just meditate and keep my eyes closed at that point.. I felt like I had to do something as it was coming on pretty quick like people say it's supposed to with mushroom tea.
   
For some reason the peaceful zen-like music I was listening to in my in-ear headphones sounded strange and spooky for some reason.. I do not know why. so I then switched to a youtube video on my laptop that was one of those psytrance music playlists with the video footage of psytrance festivals and people dancing around and what not at them. It was really trippy. I was a bit anxious that I might get the sickness again like I did last time.. so I got up and got some water and the body effects were really starting to come on.
   
When I got back to my bed it was clear I was trippin at that point. I noticed how odd the psytrance festival video looked and how funny some of the people dancing were and the music was clearly made for people who are trippin.
after about a half hour or so of just watching that and not being able to decide if I wanted to switch to the peaceful music or that and going back and forth, I really started to feel a strange icy-hot feeling in my stomach going all the way up through my chest, throat and face. It was weird. It was the same "sickness" I had last time on them that felt like I might need to throw up or something.
   
I got up and went to the bathroom and just poured cold water on my head from the tub and it made me feel better. I noticed everything around me was unstable and the classic breathing effect was present yet mild, but it was hard to focus on any one thing around me in the environment. I kept going back and forth from my bed to the tub to pour water on my head as I was starting to feel kind of bad. I tried to meditate and let go and just breath, but nothing helped the sickness and feeling of psychological, physical and emotional pain that I just felt internally. I just wanted it to end and just lay there rolling over trying to get relaxed. I kept going to get water on my head and to feel up my water bottle, and the feeling of being really cold by the water and warmed by my bed covers made me feel better and felt really good. I wasn't resisting the experience nor trying to reject it, and just observed it and tried to vibe with it, but it was just painful and not a good time no matter what. It came in waves.. I would feel almost sober at some points, but it always came back at random times.
   
At that point, is when the trip really took it's strange turn, and the utter madness started to happen. I couldn't decide or figure out if I wanted to or needed to be wet or dry, hot or cold, clothed or naked, thinking or meditating, being still or moving around, sitting or standing up, listen to music or have silence, or anything. It felt like true madness.. and it was just confusing and not a good time.
   
I just got up and took all my clothes off and started moving around in my room in any way... I would walk around my desk in circles, doing weird dance moves to no music, and talk to myself in my head about what I was doing.. took a few bites from an apple and ate some cherries as I though it would make me feel better to eat, but it made my stomach feel even weirder. I realized that at the time constant change and movement was the only thing that helped me feel somewhat fine and the only way to pass the time and reach the end of madness. Doing one thing for more than a few seconds would keep me feeling stuck.. I had to constantly move around and do random things. I would keep going back to the bathtub and running water over my head and turning the sink on and off for no reason.. and going back into my room and turning the lights on and off a few times, and just moved around, went back to my bed to get air from the fan, get on the computer and post here in the shroomery, and kept repeating that for a while. It actually did make me feel better and it wasn't all that bad at that point. I actually felt primitive in a cool way and kind of childlike and things were funny, but the sickness and madness was still coming in random unexpected waves. I thought about going on a walk but the idea of leaving my room just seemed too wild at the time.
   
I then decided to take a full blown shower and it also helped and being isolated in the shower with all the shampoo bottles was really weird.. when I got out I kept loosing my glasses when I took them off to pour water on my head and would almost have a small freak out, but kept finding them in the same spot lol. The madness, sickness, and psychological pain came in waves, and held on. I then sat in the floor and couldn't decide if I wanted the lights on or not, but finally decided to leave them off...
   
I then came to terms with some personal issues and things that I have been ignoring for a while that came to the surface.. and all though they are pretty small things that aren't too big a deal, they seemed like the biggest deal ever during the trip and I had to face them. I then got on my laptop and typed out a super long ass journal entry about what I needed to resolve and face, and it felt really good to do so, it was like such a relief and release, and the sickness started to end at that point and I felt better for good then. I felt better just sitting in the floor with my back against the door than on my bed or at the desk.. it was weird.
   
At that point I still tripped for at least another hour but all the tough parts were over and I felt generally good and well.
   
Conclusion: I really didn't expect a mere 1 gram of regular cubes to have such an intense and profound affect on me... there were very little visuals or warping of the environment.. but the mindfuck and utter madness was absolute and unavoidable, and it was in fact much more intense and tough than the last trip I had on 2.3 grams which was more than twice the dose of this time and I didn't even finish all of the tea! :shrug:
   
To sum it up it was just euphoria, dysphoria, sobriety, confusion, and complete and sincere madness that came in blunt, random, and chaotic waves.. where I couldn't deiced between the 2 factors of each thing when I needed something to help me feel fine and pass the time so the insanity would end.
   
I kept hearing people say: "mushrooms aren't to be messed with, they are no joke", "they aren't all fun and games" and although I could tell this advice was probably correct, I didn't really understand it myself until this night. They really aren't a recreational drug for a good time.. at least not for me anyways. You have to accept what you sign up for..
   
Although I would consider a lot of it to be what you would call a "bad trip".. it turned out to not really be a negative or bad thing in the end.. it felt really good to come out the other end and face some things.. and it just felt good to be back in sober awareness and reality and made me very appreciative or everything and feeling sober.. and that drugs really shouldn't be abused or toyed with or anything like that. I don't know if I will every do mushrooms again after this.. because it seems there really isn't much to gain from it for me personally other than reminding me certain things that I needed to face and resolve. I at least understand why people space it out and "respect" the tool so to speak, and don't want to do it for a while after a good intense trip.
   
It basically concluded that growth and becoming better and more fulfilled just comes from having good intentions in life and just living life sincerely, that psychedelics can only do so much for us.. like show us the doorway to where we need to go.. but we will always come down from the trip and be the same as we were before we took the substance with just a memory of the window we saw through into these insights.. that having the courage to go through life and face challenge and having positive intentions to make a lifetime commitment to grow and become better is what really matters.. and that universal unconditional love is absolute and denying and hiding from the truth will only cause struggle and pain.

:heart:

Edited by PsilocybeBeing (07/18/18 11:43 PM)

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OfflineJWM
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Registered: 03/20/18
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Re: [Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves] [Re: PsilocybeBeing]
    #25334184 - 07/18/18 06:24 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

I'm glad you wrote this up. I've been exploring psychedelics again after a long, long break. I've done a little LSD here and there, staying with modest doses, and I recently had an impressive trip with mescaline. Your experience sounds very much like the first time I did mushrooms. I did an eighth; it was a rough ride, and I just wanted it to end. No fun at all. I've eaten mushrooms a total of five times. Only one of those trips (at one gram) gave me anything like that sense of euphoria, wonder and fun that I read about here so often.  This bugs me because I read so many wonderful trip reports, and I want to take that ride myself. But I get cold feet just thinking about that, "PLEASE JUST MAKE THIS STOP!"
Anyway- great write-up, and a valuable contribution to the discussion of these strange and wonderful substances.

JWM

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OfflinePsilocybeBeing
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Registered: 07/10/18
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Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Re: [Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves] [Re: JWM]
    #25334617 - 07/18/18 10:19 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

JWM said:
I'm glad you wrote this up. I've been exploring psychedelics again after a long, long break. I've done a little LSD here and there, staying with modest doses, and I recently had an impressive trip with mescaline. Your experience sounds very much like the first time I did mushrooms. I did an eighth; it was a rough ride, and I just wanted it to end. No fun at all. I've eaten mushrooms a total of five times. Only one of those trips (at one gram) gave me anything like that sense of euphoria, wonder and fun that I read about here so often.  This bugs me because I read so many wonderful trip reports, and I want to take that ride myself. But I get cold feet just thinking about that, "PLEASE JUST MAKE THIS STOP!"
Anyway- great write-up, and a valuable contribution to the discussion of these strange and wonderful substances.

JWM




Thanks for reading :cool: I know what you mean! I was going into it thinking it could be a really good magical time and the last 2 times I did it, it was a waiting it out wanting it to end like you said.

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OfflineBrother
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Registered: 07/22/18
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Loc: Upper Michigan
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: [Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves] [Re: PsilocybeBeing]
    #25349502 - 07/27/18 01:01 AM (5 years, 7 months ago)

Taken about 5 trips, always been fun and connection with life/nature. Than I had some golden teachers.(fresh) Felt like death. Inside of my thighs we're so sore didn't like to walk. In the dark it looked like looking out of a TV with all the pixels. Ears ringing and alot of confusion.  Really could feel the "acid" effects.It was forever. When it wore off I too felt great. Much more sensitive towards feelings. Next day did the same amount determined to get a good trip. Nope. Exactly the same ..Theigh pain and all. This time I took a cold shower and pretty much put me straight. Scrolled through the web for answers.. . found nothing. So fukin gonna science this shit and took 3 small fresh teachers size of half dollar.No spore's and still a light brown color. " No way I can can feel them" ha! Still had the pains in the inside theigh and felt sweetie. No music and thought maybe I should try to dream and sleep though it. Nope. Fukers we're strong. Like taking ecstasy.All of them came from the same grow with some that had dropped spore's.. I think the different strains really can be quite different. Lot stories of great trips on golden teachers but not sure if they are for me. Couldn't take enough to go down the rabbit hole and just a overall shit feeling. I believe if I had taken much more would have been freaking out. Really didn't want to do anything. ..hear anything,..
In contrast,loved the b+ tho. Got some more teachers coming but Not taking much till I figure out what's happening. Really wonder if I pissed off that "batch" and should play some music or give it more love and attention! LOL. Really curious if this next batch treats me the same.  By the way, first two times it was about a 1/8 wet than 24hours later the second time dried in the oven overnight at 150°f. Didn't matter.same exact effects.
But let me say after the suffering I felt great! And much easier to communicate and sense others feelings. Calm,like hitting the reset. Thinking this is perfect if you're going though depression. I lost my dog and was tore the fuk up. Much better now.
Mico dosing is my plan for the rest of the golden teachers if they continue to be the same crazy stong effect. Is it possible to mix different strains?  Got penis envy also. Guess I will try mixing them unless I hear otherwise. .. it's crazy as shity you feel during the trip is as good after. Oh, and I'm far less hungry. A huge bonus losing 10 pounds in two weeks.
Also more organized less ADHD.

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OfflinePsilocybeBeing
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Registered: 07/10/18
Posts: 58
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Re: [Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves] [Re: Brother]
    #25349635 - 07/27/18 02:22 AM (5 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Brother said:
Taken about 5 trips, always been fun and connection with life/nature. Than I had some golden teachers.(fresh) Felt like death. Inside of my thighs we're so sore didn't like to walk. In the dark it looked like looking out of a TV with all the pixels. Ears ringing and alot of confusion.  Really could feel the "acid" effects.It was forever. When it wore off I too felt great. Much more sensitive towards feelings. Next day did the same amount determined to get a good trip. Nope. Exactly the same ..Theigh pain and all. This time I took a cold shower and pretty much put me straight. Scrolled through the web for answers.. . found nothing. So fukin gonna science this shit and took 3 small fresh teachers size of half dollar.No spore's and still a light brown color. " No way I can can feel them" ha! Still had the pains in the inside theigh and felt sweetie. No music and thought maybe I should try to dream and sleep though it. Nope. Fukers we're strong. Like taking ecstasy.All of them came from the same grow with some that had dropped spore's.. I think the different strains really can be quite different. Lot stories of great trips on golden teachers but not sure if they are for me. Couldn't take enough to go down the rabbit hole and just a overall shit feeling. I believe if I had taken much more would have been freaking out. Really didn't want to do anything. ..hear anything,..
In contrast,loved the b+ tho. Got some more teachers coming but Not taking much till I figure out what's happening. Really wonder if I pissed off that "batch" and should play some music or give it more love and attention! LOL. Really curious if this next batch treats me the same.  By the way, first two times it was about a 1/8 wet than 24hours later the second time dried in the oven overnight at 150°f. Didn't matter.same exact effects.
But let me say after the suffering I felt great! And much easier to communicate and sense others feelings. Calm,like hitting the reset. Thinking this is perfect if you're going though depression. I lost my dog and was tore the fuk up. Much better now.
Mico dosing is my plan for the rest of the golden teachers if they continue to be the same crazy stong effect. Is it possible to mix different strains?  Got penis envy also. Guess I will try mixing them unless I hear otherwise. .. it's crazy as shity you feel during the trip is as good after. Oh, and I'm far less hungry. A huge bonus losing 10 pounds in two weeks.
Also more organized less ADHD.




From what you are saying.. maybe some strains just give you a bad experience, and some (like standard cubes don't).. I really don't know though.. they all just have psilocybin... I have heard several times that PE give a "weird high".. and I think what I had may have been PE.. but yet again I am not sure. All I know is that the trip felt like sickness and madness and I wanted it to end most of the time and no change of thought or environment made it good, it just didn't feel right.. it's weird because I have heard so many good stories of mushroom trips and how well they went.

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OfflineLoveroftheLight
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Registered: 07/04/18
Posts: 112
Last seen: 5 months, 11 days
Re: [Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves] [Re: PsilocybeBeing]
    #25374153 - 08/08/18 05:31 AM (5 years, 7 months ago)

Ive noticed in a few selective experiences that small doses of mushrooms should be used only to have an uplifting day if you are out and about doing something simple. Shopping or what have you. The last time I took even just a half gram of cubes it wasn't very pleasent. Not bad but it sure wasn't worth it. I got terribly sad about the fact that my dog wasn't going to live forever(he is 7) and I could not shake it for the life of me. When you're busy low doses seem to enhance your mood and keep you going but if you're trying to have an experience, at least in my case, they are just an emotional loop of one emotion and usually not happiness.

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OfflinePsilocybeBeing
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Registered: 07/10/18
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Re: [Absolute madness, euphoria and dysphoria that came in random waves] [Re: LoveroftheLight]
    #25380012 - 08/10/18 04:36 PM (5 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LoveroftheLight said:
Ive noticed in a few selective experiences that small doses of mushrooms should be used only to have an uplifting day if you are out and about doing something simple. Shopping or what have you. The last time I took even just a half gram of cubes it wasn't very pleasent. Not bad but it sure wasn't worth it. I got terribly sad about the fact that my dog wasn't going to live forever(he is 7) and I could not shake it for the life of me. When you're busy low doses seem to enhance your mood and keep you going but if you're trying to have an experience, at least in my case, they are just an emotional loop of one emotion and usually not happiness.




Mushrooms just affect me much differently than everyone else; it wasn't even like that. It was just pure sickness almost the whole time where it felt like I had to call the hospital or something. Even though I knew I didn't have to because it's just psilocybin, it still felt like that none the less, and felt a lot longer than normal. It doesn't affect me in the way it does other people. It's weird.

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