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 failbot999
Registered: 02/18/02
Posts: 590
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 Just lost my gf of 4 years *DELETED* 
#2521379 - 04/03/04 11:45 AM (20 years, 17 days ago) |
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Post deleted by ski_stonedReason for deletion: delete
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 valour
Swordbearer
Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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 Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2521692 - 04/03/04 01:57 PM (20 years, 17 days ago) |
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Yes, that does suck, and I'm sorry.
Not preaching at you, but I find that times alone are the best time for self-growth -- perhaps learn to trust more and reach out more. I know this doesn't make it feel better now, but your life will go on, and who knows what the future holds?
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"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."
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sir tripsalot
Administrator
Registered: 07/09/99
Posts: 6,487
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2521733 - 04/03/04 02:18 PM (20 years, 17 days ago) |
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4 years is a long time. She probably doesn't want to feel like she has closed the door on all of options in life, so she wants to test the waters. I suggest you do the same. Staying together would obviously have to be forced so enjoy your freedom while it lasts, cause chances are she will come back. That's when you can shrug her off cause you found somebody else.Good luck.
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"Little racoons and old possums 'n' stuff all live up in here. They've got to have a little place to sit." Bob Ross.
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Anonymous #1
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Post deleted by Anno [Re: failbot999]
#2523451 - 04/03/04 11:48 PM (20 years, 17 days ago) |
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BenFungTorez
Los Rancheros!
Registered: 04/06/03
Posts: 38
Loc: Way up there...
Last seen: 19 years, 8 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2523478 - 04/04/04 12:01 AM (20 years, 17 days ago) |
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hey man.
this situation seems strangely similar to what i went through.
just know that me, and i'm sure many others around here, have been through shit like this.
it's hard. but life goes on.
four months from now you'll have grown into someone very different.
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failbot999
Registered: 02/18/02
Posts: 590
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years *DELETED* [Re: ]
#2523960 - 04/04/04 07:41 AM (20 years, 16 days ago) |
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Post deleted by ski_stonedReason for deletion: delete
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enotake2
Stop Bush's war
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2523972 - 04/04/04 07:53 AM (20 years, 16 days ago) |
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Hey. On the pot issue - unfortunately anxiety and insomnia are pot withdrawal symptoms though the withdrawals are only bad for a week and then mild after that for a period. Cravings, although overwhelming at the time only last for a bit, so if you put off making a decision about smoking for 30 min they should be gone after that time. It can be helpful to keep your mind distracted. Good luck if you are giving up - the withdrawal symptoms are very temporary.
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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium
"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
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failbot999
Registered: 02/18/02
Posts: 590
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years *DELETED* [Re: enotake2]
#2523981 - 04/04/04 08:00 AM (20 years, 16 days ago) |
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Post deleted by ski_stonedReason for deletion: delete
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enotake2
Stop Bush's war
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2526687 - 04/05/04 05:46 AM (20 years, 15 days ago) |
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Doing it will show you that you can have self-control. Though, I work in a D&A treatment centre and am about to become a therapist on a marijuana cessation trial. Anyways, the expereince of the people who made the therapy manual - expereinced clinicians - is that it is very hard to go to controlled use from being dependent on marijuana. I can't remember the exact explanation - something to do with cannabis metabolites. But the author's recommendation is that you spend 3 months off and get the metabolites out of your system and then it is easy to go back to recreational use.
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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium
"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
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dobinky
infoseeker
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 2,436
Loc: Wiki, Kentucky
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2526720 - 04/05/04 06:16 AM (20 years, 15 days ago) |
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I am in the same boat with the friend situation..MY gf and my good friend from the younger years...no other real friends...just aqauntinces(sp?)
My gf did the same to me...she got with a few people blah blah blah...i suggest if you want to exploire other girls you do it now cause youll prolly end up together again and youll no like yourself for not getting any when she slept around or whatever it maybe...
dam life...
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Today?s Pig is Tomorrow?s Bacon
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failbot999
Registered: 02/18/02
Posts: 590
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years *DELETED* [Re: dobinky]
#2527063 - 04/05/04 09:52 AM (20 years, 15 days ago) |
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Post deleted by ski_stonedReason for deletion: delete
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boomer420
liquid blue
Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 400
Loc: show me
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2527579 - 04/05/04 12:50 PM (20 years, 15 days ago) |
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Wow man I never realized, but I think Im doing the samething to my girl as yours has done to you, through this experience I have come to the conclusion that Im an ass hole and If I were you I wouldnt worry about it because shes the one thats going to be felling bad in the long run, because she wasted 4 years of her life,its all on her not you brotha, its only natural that you feel bad for awhile, If I were you I would NOT quite smokin, cigerats are bad
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Shit house mouse
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valour
Swordbearer
Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: boomer420]
#2527674 - 04/05/04 01:11 PM (20 years, 15 days ago) |
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Wrong way to approach it. Just because a relationship is over doesn't mean that time was wasted. You still grow, she still grows and you learned things together. Right now, you'll need a time to distance yourself from it -- but if you let yourself, some day you'll be able to look back and be thankful for the time you did share together.
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"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."
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Gus
Back in town.
Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: boomer420]
#2527986 - 04/05/04 02:21 PM (20 years, 15 days ago) |
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Every time you start a new relationship, you're thinking it will last forever? Really?
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boomer420
liquid blue
Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 400
Loc: show me
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: Gus]
#2531785 - 04/06/04 02:03 PM (20 years, 14 days ago) |
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true true
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Shit house mouse
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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 25 days
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: boomer420]
#2533370 - 04/06/04 10:28 PM (20 years, 14 days ago) |
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Along with other effects, smoking herb triggers the release of (a small amount) of dopamine. You're hooked to that feeling. Consistant exposure to moderately high levels of dopamine lead to anxiety and paranoia, and these types of behavior can progress into worse mental health concerns. This could explain your distrust for people. I wouldn't recommend quitting cold turkey, but you should consider progressively lowering your intake. Let your girl know...see what she thinks?
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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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failbot999
Registered: 02/18/02
Posts: 590
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years *DELETED* [Re: Viaggio]
#2533395 - 04/06/04 10:38 PM (20 years, 14 days ago) |
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Post deleted by ski_stonedReason for deletion: delete
Edited by failbot999 (04/06/04 10:41 PM)
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kroum
Stranger
Registered: 04/04/04
Posts: 54
Loc: CA
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2533479 - 04/06/04 11:06 PM (20 years, 14 days ago) |
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ya, dude that's what I'm gonna do... I"m gonna visit a friend at UCSB (santa barbara if u've heard of it..) in a couple of weeks for a weekend of wild-ass partying... I haven't partied, but I need a weekend to just indulge myself in the pleasures of the flesh... Not going to do anything too stupid, but not having to drive or confront parents for 3 days will be very good...
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"Why not?"
Last words of Timothy Leary
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oggleman
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 281
Loc: Chicago
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: failbot999]
#2535221 - 04/07/04 01:08 PM (20 years, 13 days ago) |
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Im the master of moping around for days on end when I lose a gf, shit the last gf I lost I sobbed for hours, I literally cried until I couldnt cry anymore, it was fucking pathetic. I wanted to cry and I tried but I simply couldnt. Then I went to sleep, and woke up and this dude next door was listening to "yesterday" by paul mccartney, the absolutely worst song to hear at that point in time, and, well I was able to cry again. To this day I still get depressed whenever I hear that song. Ive never had a gf for 4 years tho, thats a long time, but I can imagine that it is like hell.
My advice is go find the songs "otha fish" and "passing me by" by The Pharcyde, and listen real close to the lyrics. Their album "Bizzare Ride II" has both those songs on there, and it is just a great album I would reccomend to anyone who is a hip hop fan, but those two tracks are my favorite break up music, and it makes me feel better.
I'm guessing that, like most relationships, the end of yours was not the greatest, filled with drama providing you with lots of stress, just remember that that shit is over. Its like, even tho you had a great relationship with her before, whatever factors have changed to make that blissful relationship into an unhealthy one, and sorry to say it but it can't go back to the way it was, but you know this already. I'm not saying its impossible for it to be good again, but that it just can't go back to the way it was. So you went from good relationship to bad relationship. And since you can't go back to the old good relationship, the best choice is no relationship.
In other words...
good relationship --> bad relationship --> no relationship
Its natural, its healthy, it happens all the time.
Wow I used the word "relationship" alot.
Hang in there, you gonna be ok, no worries.
Ohh yeah I almost forgot, you said you have one other friend where you live now. Call that fucker up, hang out, smoke some pot, go get some drinks, go meet some new people, just get your mind off it. You'll be surprised how quicly you'll feel better. Don't be afraid to make new friends, you can make new friends without having to tell them about your growing projects, if thats what you're worried about. The best thing about losing a gf, at least for me, is that it usually ends up strengthening your friendships with others in your life.
As for me, I'm signing off now to go do my taxes, wooohh fun.
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valour
Swordbearer
Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: Just lost my gf of 4 years [Re: oggleman]
#2538583 - 04/08/04 09:14 AM (20 years, 12 days ago) |
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Ah, and don't forget - you're "allowed" to feel bad, to cry, to miss her, etc.
Trying to repress these things will only make them drag out.
But don't let them control you forever.
I let the end of a relationship control me for 2 years afterwards, and it was such a waste.
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"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."
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