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OfflineWithinity
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Registered: 04/11/10
Posts: 1,357
Loc: Côte d’Ivoire
Last seen: 2 years, 28 days
Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: Repertoire89]
    #25296551 - 06/28/18 08:38 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
She's cheating obviously. Just cut her loose, sounds toxic


No freedom of speech in Europe :lol:




Hello there old friend, still around this place I see. The other section we used to post in seems alot different these days somehow. How is life treating you?


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 22,090
Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: Withinity]
    #25297603 - 06/28/18 06:43 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

I'm doing great man, super busy, bought a van and spent all day gearing it up to camp out of

What's up with you?

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InvisibleSunnyDayze
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Registered: 12/30/17
Posts: 2,230
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: Withinity]
    #25297838 - 06/28/18 08:34 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Even if she isn’t cheating, she’s not respecting you.  She could be trying hard to make you jealous to get your attention but if you aren’t giving it to her and she feels the need to act that way, maybe it’s not the right relationship.

I do a lot of things and go a lot of places without my husband.  I even go to parties without him.  He is always welcome, just doesn’t want to and that s okay.

I have never cheated on my husband and when I’m not with him I act like a married person.  Even if things aren’t going well with us I wouldn’t cheat.....so proving the theory that “all women cheat” wrong.


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OfflinemndfreezeMDiscordReddit
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Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 20,533
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Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: Withinity]
    #25297998 - 06/28/18 10:43 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

One of the wondrous things about this forum and the internet in general is because you can so easily talk about things you may not feel comfortable or have the ability to talk about in person with someone.  Its a double edged sword of course so always take advice with a grain of salt and think everything through.  That said a lot of the advice here is good and sound.  She doesn't really respect you, probably isn't mature enough to really grasp how to, and in the end things will probably go badly regardless of cheating or not.  You are most likely better going it solo and then looking for someone who fits better and respects who you are and how you feel.

You should never feel like you can't trust your partner in a relationship.  You should never feel like your partner isn't respecting you, doesn't care about you, or is otherwise using/abusing you, etc.  Obviously when I say 'never' I don't mean small instances of it where there could be a misunderstanding or an argument, but more an overall general feeling.  There is definitely a big difference between the two.


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Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,166
Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: Withinity]
    #25300080 - 06/30/18 12:36 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

OP she may not have cheated on you. But that behavior can easily escalate if she feels she's not getting enough from you. She seems... Like a borderline narcissist that can't recognize that their own perception is the problem. That she has unrealistic expectations. Until she does nothing you ever do will be enough. You will never be enough. So this

Quote:

Withinity said:.

I just have this feeling that If I don't make my whole life about her , like I may have done in the past than somshit is going to go wrong.




Is the absolute fucking last thing you wanna do. No one should ever do this. We all have our own lives. We need to live them. That's how we grow and become better people. It's why we say people in relationships have needs. If you need space then you deserve space. For your health. For the relationship health.


So forget about the cheating shit dude. You have a girl with issues and a toxic relationship with her. You can't just try to be the perfect boyfriend and hope one day she'll see how great you are. Her perception is broken. Without something or someone shaking some sense into her giving your everything to her isn't going to make her feel like you're enough. Because you're not. What she needs is something from within, something no one will be able to give.


Being said you might be able to help her start healing whatever is screwing up her perception and inability to see things from your angle or just an outside angle.

Sorry if I'm making assumptions but your description reminds me of similar relationships with "broken" women. You two have alot of work and need to have some serious conversations either way. If you want to carry on with the relationship you need to have lots of well considered communication. Don't let jealousy or anger make you say something dumb. You can't help someone see reason when you lose your own ability to reason.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:

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OfflineWithinity
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Registered: 04/11/10
Posts: 1,357
Loc: Côte d’Ivoire
Last seen: 2 years, 28 days
Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #25317932 - 07/10/18 05:28 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Sorry if I'm making assumptions but your description reminds me of similar relationships with "broken" women. You two have alot of work and need to have some serious conversations either way. If you want to carry on with the relationship you need to have lots of well considered communication. Don't let jealousy or anger make you say something dumb. You can't help someone see reason when you lose your own ability to reason.




Yeah upon further research , I think for sure she has a borderline personality just like the other females in her immediate family have borderline personality disorders. What your saying is true though about the ability to reason getting worse and worse, I feel like I'm digressing in some kind of way to match the behavior if that makes any sense? When you have someone exhibiting such aggressive mannerisms it activates a kind of primal instinct I would say, you need to defend yourself when under attack.

I mean I haven't felt these emotions in quite some time but she brings it out in me, you know the kind of temper tantrum where she ends up smashing your sunglasses or other items around the house due to inability of control of emotions.

It seems like she really loves me and I feel bad dumping her to be honest, but I think about it everyday for the last few months tbh. I had chances , came close but never sealed the deal. I noticed myself acting worse towards her now, treating her more badly etc. Maybe unconsciously I'm trying to get rid of her , trying to make her want to break up with me but she is not budging. Wants to stay in my life.

I never used to look at other girls and whatnot, I was really in love with her too but now I just can't seem to bring myself to care as much. More emotionally detached from the situation and now she see's it too.

Pfftt fukit just see what happens.. I told her yesterday we are not a good long term match, she agreed and additionally said I can imagine what kind of father you would be , as if it would be a bad thing.

Yeah different core values also I guess, just can't be fucked with this small talk shit anymore. It's been a while since I had any real meaningful conversations with anyone. 

For the record , I don't think all women are cheaters. It's just not the case , though it is true in Western society it is much more acceptable to be slut. Just look at all the influences from mainstream media and the way the spin liberalism , its all related to sexuality.


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OfflinemndfreezeMDiscordReddit
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Registered: 04/22/02
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Re: Am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern - outside perspective needed [Re: Withinity]
    #25318661 - 07/10/18 02:38 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

You will be better off without her.  It will just take some time to get past the damage done.


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]

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