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I thought I'd share my last experience which was pretty unpleasant and I would be interested in getting feedback especially from anyone having a similar experience or who has been interested in ego-death/reduction.
This is the first season I have actively sought magic mushrooms and I had collected probably 10 grams dry. I had micro-dosed weekly over the previous 6 weeks taking a maximum of probably 14 dry P. subs likely weighing less than one gram.
Because I am an old fart I can't just trip out willy nilly as I have family responsibilities and this last weekend was the first opportunity I would be getting for sometime to take a larger amount and presumably have a trip of the type that Terence McKenna frequently talked about. It would be just me and the two dogs in the house so I was looking forward to having a trip of the introspective type as I would really like to reduce the amount of ego I suffer from.
So last weekend I grabbed a large handful which I figure was probably 2 to 3 grams dry weight put them in a blender and reduced them to powder. After blending they filled an area of maybe a 3 inch diameter by 1/2 an inch deep. I had decided to mix it into tomato soup as I thought that would have a good effect in reducing the quite unpleasant taste they seem to have. I mixed the powder in while heating the soup and then left it for about 2 hours later when it got dark.
When it got dark I went back to the pot and lifted the lid, too my surprise the previously red/orange colour of the soup was now black. I stirred it and the black appeared to be on the surface but the soup was no longer red/orange but more of a brown colour. It looked pretty repulsive but I thought I can't waste the subs.
I heated it up, but not to boiling temperature, and then chugged it down in three cupfuls trying to avoid tasting it as it was pretty hideous. The time was about 5:30pm.
I thought to myself that I had about an hour before it started to kick in so I watched the some TV. However, about 25 minutes later I started to get the yawns and shivers which seem to be a standard effect that psilocin has on me to begin with.
I had previously even on small doses had really nice psychedelic visuals but I wasn't getting any at all. After probably 45 minutes I started feeling uncomfortable in my stomach but not nauseous. I went over to the kitchen sink and burped a couple of times and the back taste was like rotting vegetation. I stayed slumped over the sink for probably an hour and it was getting difficult to stand and I started thinking/feeling that something was wrong. I wasn't experiencing a trip although I had very minor visual effects occurring.
I now started to think I probably shouldn't have put the mushroom powder into the soup without boiling it as maybe it had generated some harmful bacteria for the two hours I had left it. My next thoughts were I need to induce vomiting to get it out of my stomach.
I put my fingers down my throat, I tried swallowing a piece of string while holding one end, and although I gagged a bit I could not vomit. This was a worry as I can normally vomit easily if I have been drinking alcohol, something I haven't done for a long time. I started having difficulty staying conscious and didn't feel right. I never actually felt nauseous but my stomach wasn't exactly happy.
The thought occurred to go and lean over the toilet as I didn't have to stand up to do this so there was less risk of falling over due to unconsciousness. I went and did this for about 3/4's of an hour, trying to induce vomiting by the previously mentioned methods but each time I did it nothing came up and I almost went unconscious each time I tried, it seemed that it was only the banging of head against the toilet when I blacked out that woke me up.
So getting up I went back to the kitchen sink again and I now started to think that I had poisoned myself by creating a nice habitat in my soup for some type of bacteria. I definitely wasn't tripping I was just having a pretty shit time of it and I was having real difficulty staying conscious, not something I had previously experienced, as a matter of fact the exact opposite, I always had difficulty getting to sleep after having subs.
I now started to become convinced I had rather ironically killed myself by poisoning instead of experiencing a form of ego death. I wasn't panicking, I knew that the LD50 for Psilocybin was so high it had not yet been found, heart beat and pulse were no more noticeable than usual and I was pretty calm and collected. I was however experiencing difficulty coordinating my limbs. I thought to myself I had better write a quick note to let my family know I loved them and that I had fucked things up. This I did but then started thinking that the dogs would need someone to feed them. This motivated me to try and send a text message to my step-daughter but all I could manage was Hia. I then managed to focus long enough to phone her and told I thought I had poisoned myself, explained what I had done and that she needed to come out and get the dogs as I pretty certain I would be dead by the time she got here (about a 40 minute drive).
She handed the phone over to her flatmate who talked to me while she called an ambulance and then jumped in her car to come out. For the next 40 minutes I had a definite and very strong conviction that if I fell unconscious that I would die, I don't know why this was, but it is probably one of the strongest feelings I have ever had. I had to stay on my feet and keep moving and I kept catching myself just as I was about to go over despite talking to the flatmate the whole time, admittedly my conversation wasn't much of a conversation, more exclamations of how ironic all this was killing myself by poisoning which others would probably blame on the magic mushrooms even though I was certain I couldn't have got anywhere near the LD50 for Psilocybin.
Anyway 40 minutes later my step daughter arrived and although I still had difficulty staying up and I was still convinced I was going to die if I lost consciousness, things started to feel somewhat better. It was now 4 hours later and I still kept myself moving and refused to sit or lie down and I was now hellish thirsty as the ambulance people had told my daughter I should'nt drink anything. The ambulance people obviously weren't too concerned as they didn't turn up until probably an hour and a half after being called and would only have come sooner if my condition had changed, i.e. I went unconscious etc.
They finally turned up and I had to explain what was going on, what I had done, etc. and they tested my temperature, blood pressure, etc. but they could only tell that I had a slightly higher than normal temperature and thought I might have an infection of some type.
By now I was feeling less inclined to go unconscious so I declined going to the hospital as I didn't want the hassle and the ambulance people couldn't see any reason why I should be about to die. So they left and my step-daughter and her husband hung around until I felt good enough to say I was OK, this was now 6 hours later and the last of the very minor visual effects were gone. The minor visual effects were that when I looked at something, a face or some other item, there was colouration to the item that was similar to when you see oil or gasoline on water - you get that multi-colour look to it without it obscuring what you are looking at.
I stayed up until 2:15am watching TV and then went to bed sleeping through to about 8:30am. The next day I felt disturbed, primarily because of the thought I had nearly killed myself and had caused others to be inconvenienced, I felt like I had been really selfish and that in search of a fix to my ego had just actually reinforced it. I knew I would have to tell my wife what I had done when she returned home in a few days after going to visit friends so I was feeling a bit of a dick as well as feeling quite out of sorts/disassociated with reality. On an impulse I destroyed my remaining magic mushrooms which I subsequently regretted as an act of impulsive stupidity. Most of this and the following day I was a bit messed up although coping well enough but I could sense I wasn't quite right or back to normal.
Anyway, I don't think of this experience as a trip or even a bad trip as at no stage did I experience more than a slight visual effect, which was even less than when I took 5 dry mushrooms for my first experience of MM's since 34 years earlier. I don't know whether going unconscious is a normal thing with subs or feeling that you rather than your ego are going to die, but I resisted it greatly as it wasn't something in my previous experience.
So hopefully I can get some feedback or perspectives from others regarding my experience which might help me understand what it was that I went through as at no stage did it feel like a trip and I emphasised this to both my step-daughter and the ambulance people.
Anyway, I hope to have a better experience next time and trust no one else has this kind of shithole experience. I am now very familiar with what the inside of my kitchen sink looks like. :-)
It sounds to me like your trip manifested itself in a paranoid way because you had misgivings about what you had consumed in the form of that soup. That soup did sound quite disgusting from what you described lol. Unlikely it would caused you any food poisoning either. I would say you were actually tripping a lot harder than you thought but you were stuck in a paranoid headspace.
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