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Anonymous #1

Anger issues
    #25257130 - 06/08/18 11:06 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

.i have anger issues. Like many people I bottle up so much shit. Then I explode. I hate this shit. I'm too old to feel this way. Too old to deal with thing this way. I've been so frustrated so,angry and helpless. I'm self destructing I can feel it. I feel like the world is against me. I don't have alot of fight left in me. Is it worth it? What is this dog and pony show about?
I'm sorry y'all but god damn it.

I read a while ago someone posted it's a perminate solution to a.temporary problem
And those words have kept me going for a while. I'm so sad and angry I wish i had a big brother to hug and cry to. I have it made and yet I'm so angry I'm so stupid. I wish I could be better. I wish I knew how to help my self. Monday im calling my doctor because I can't live like this anymore.  I feel like im dying everyday , or wish that i would or could.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25257219 - 06/09/18 01:21 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Stop bottling shit up. I did so after a major accident and I like myself now.
Men are allowed to have feelings and show them to, they can cry if they want to.

Even on the anon board you dont tell what your fucking problem is.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #25257493 - 06/09/18 07:33 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

I used to have anger issues. Big time. Fixed em now though, after I lost so much because of them.

Just because you feel this way now doesn't mean you always will. I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life, a decade after resolving that shit.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #25257508 - 06/09/18 07:43 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

I'm not an angry person in general. I just bottle things up till I explode. I've been so much better the past few years about NOT bottling things up and letting my feelings out. Lately it seems no one can see things from my point of view when I get to explain my feelings to people. My mother is 62 and snorts Vicodin like it's cocaine. This is a HUGE thing I've been dealing with the past 4 years, it's torn us apart as family. Everything I do or say is taken the wrong way with her and ends up in a major fight over stupid things. I feel like I'm backed into a corner


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Anonymous #4

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25258215 - 06/09/18 04:51 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

stop bottling shit up is a good idea.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25258514 - 06/09/18 08:58 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Why do you bottle things up?


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Anonymous #6

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25260013 - 06/10/18 04:34 PM (5 years, 8 months ago)

How could you snort a Vicodin one pill would be like 30 lines. So much Tylenol. Do you live with your mother? If so you need to move out. If you don't live with her maybe try to distance your self a little bit


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Anonymous #2

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #25267349 - 06/14/18 07:41 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

Hope your mom doesnt snort tylenol along with it. Will hurt her permanently and badly. Hope those are hydrocodone only pills.

I dont really see how the surely problematic drug issue your mother has connects to your anger issues.
There has to be far more to it than this.

Open up, tell us, or tell me. I am a psychologist by the way.

It should be relatively easy to switch her over to Kratom as a less addictive and milder substituent, which keeps the unpleasant withdrawal symptoms minimal and has all the effects of hydrocodone.
Many people say they kratom feels a lot like hydrocodone, which luckily is the least strong poppy derived pharma opioid and thus comparably easy to withdraw or substitute.


Edited by Anonymous (06/14/18 07:58 AM)


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Anonymous #7

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #25269314 - 06/15/18 04:57 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

If you angry your only really angry at yourself


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Anonymous #1

Re: Anger issues [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #25269333 - 06/15/18 05:41 AM (5 years, 8 months ago)

I've been doing lots of soul searching lately, thinking about memorys I've tried to forget about. I'm NOT an angry person in general. I feel cornered alot of times. No matter what I do it's wrong.

My life has been constant struggle, but I'm always thankful for what I have. Things can always be worse. I've never known my real father, my "step" dad is all I've ever known, and haven't talked to him since he divorced my mom, transported pounds of weed with my downs syndrome niece in the car on "vacation". Got caught in Florida on a boat fishing with cocaine ...etc. that pos. Now when my step dad left my mom when I was 18, my older brother ran off to live with "dad" and his drug house. That's when I drew my line in the sand. I single handed helped my mother through this when EVERYONE else ran away.. this was 12 years ago now.

The thing with my mothers drug use is deep for me. She is in denial about her addiction because it's "only one prescription" and blah blah blah.

If she's high on it she's ether SUPER happy and talkative. If she's coming down or done too much everyone and everything is against her N she gets VERY mean and says / does ridiculous things. I never know if I'm going to meet mr jeckle or Mr hyde.

Now 4 years ago her sister died from prescription overdose, my mother and my cousin found her at her house.

How do you pick up a habit that killed your sister????? But it's ok because it's "just one" and not whatever her sister took.

I've expressed my concern for her health and i get responses like "I'll do whatever I want at my house".  "your not my father" ."Well you do too much of ( anything I do) " ."it dosent effect you".

She's ether deadly sick or there is white dripping out of her nose. And there is never any relation to her symptoms /use.

I even scheduled a Dr appt with her Dr to try and talk him about it, what a fucking joke, trys to get me on pills due to my work injurys. I've refused every pain pill they've tried to give Me. Even after complete wrist reconstruction surgery, I only took the ibprophane they gave me and made her watch me flush 60 Vicodin 10's down the toilet to make a point, only to be told I'm a wasteful asshole!

Honestly I worry about my mother. It upsets me deeply.

I've tried several years to get her to go to a local music festival with me and my wife/ friends.
Someone told her you can find any drug there and her first response is "I can't wait to do some cocaine " I'm just like WTF.... I tried explaining to her that it's not like that and I'm not baby sitting a coked out person and holy fuck am I the asshole. Now she can't even afford a ticket, and I've offered to pay for everything , whatever it took. Still not enough.

The first time I ever tripped was with her. Most awful trip I've ever been on, never again.

But Now that I'm older and more experienced I feel a good trip is exactly what she needs to reset. I think she needs to feel the love of the festival, embrace the whole experience and reset.

I'm probably wrong and an asshole for it, but I'm doing an extra volunteer shift this year to get her in for free. Kicking and screaming I'm taking her this year, come hell or high water. I figure it will make or break our relationship. :shrug:

Thanks for listening guys.


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