So first a bit of background.
I've done shrooms 3 times, the first 2 times were great fun and very visual but I've always been in my own mind and in mostly in control of my thoughts. The 3rd time wasn't as much fun and I kind of didn't enjoy it as I wasn't in a great mind space at the time. It wasn't a bad trip just not as fun as the first 2 times. Each time I've had between 1 gram and 1.5 grams of dried subs.
I'll try to explain this as best as I can even though some of what happened can't be explained.
It had been 3 years or so since I last had shrooms. I have been reading heaps about dmt and other psychedelics lately and I decided to have some shrooms, I only wanted a light trip so decided on a gram of dried subs. Someone once told me that 1.5 teaspoons was roughly 1 gram so I went with that, my shrooms were dried and ground to a fine powder.
I took them at 7.39 and by 7.51 I was already starting to feel the effects, which was my first indication that this wasn't going to be anything like a light trip.
By 8.10 I was tripping hard and every minute it kept hitting me harder and harder. I was kind of freaking a bit coz I didn't expect it but as I said before I'd been researching psychedelics and trips a lot recently so I just told myself to go with it and try to enjoy it or get something out of it.
All the normal visuals were happening but much stronger and more intense than before.
The first amazing thing that happened was when I song came on the TV, it was an uplifting trance song and as the music built up and peaked I was suddenly surrounded by a dome of light and I could feel the music through my entire body and the atmosphere actually became the music, very hard to explain. I was standing in front on the TV as it sort of hovered in front of me and I was absolutely engulfed in the sound and light.
A few minutes later I was struggling to stand so I lay down in the floor with my eyes closed, this is when the intense closed eye visuals started. It was like a super bright yellow spiral of geometric shapes and patterns that started on each side of my vision and soon I was completely surrounded by this pattern, it felt like it was 4 dimensional (whatever that is) it looked amazing and although it was super intense it was a very positive experience.
After a while I got up and sat in my lounge chair with my head back. This is when the yellow patterns started to surround me whether my eyes were open or closed, it didn't matter I saw the same pattern. It's hard to explain but the yellow patterns and shapes were filled with love and gratitude and I truly felt what love and gratitude felt like. I was thinking about my wife and daughter at this time and I kept saying, almost shouting, YES, I GET IT, YES. I had an epiphany which was 'IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THEM' (my wife and daughter)
The yellow patterns of love stopped and the next thing I know I'm surrounded by a dark green fog with black mist or shadows and this is when my mind started to mess with me. I felt as though I had nothing, no body, no people in my life, nothing. A though came into my head that I was actually crazy and the memories I had of my normal life weren't real and the only reality that existed was the trip. I tried to think about my daughter but I couldn't imagine that she was real or that she is a person. I cried for a second. I had lost touch with reality, nothing actually existed except my thoughts and my mind, time wasn't there, space was there, it was just me and my crazy mind, the trip had taken every thing from me. Whether my eyes were open or closed I saw and felt the same thing.
For the next few hours a loop happened where I would come back and the yellow light patterns and shapes would return and I would feel love and gratitide in my whole body and mind then the darkness would come back and I lost all sense of reality and it was absolutely terrifying.
After a few hours this loop ended and I was back to reality, I was still hallucinating a lot but I had control of my mind mostly. It was 11.10 when I looked at the clock. The next couple of hours are a bit hazy but I did a lot of thinking and also wrote a few things down about what I experienced and what I learned from the trip.
I went to bed around 1am and got to sleep around 4 I think.
Obviously more happens during the trip but either to can't remember or they don't seem profound enough to write about.
And scary as it was sometimes it was definitely a positive experience and it's something I will look into doing again in the future.
This is what I wrote down during while I lay in bed.
The trip took everything away. I only existed in my mind.
The trip had to take everything to make me realise what I have.
I hope I can remember the feeling of crazy and nothing in the future when I might need a reminder of how lucky I am.
In my most terrified and crazy the only thought that made me sane was my girls. Made me cry and want to scream. Needed them
The good part of the waves were amazing, Kept saying YES and holding arms out, stood up at 1 point to the music, body felt amazing.
a full body orgasm of love and gratitude being shown to me. My girls are everything.
In reality, nothing exists before them.
Diva
Lucky, thankful, grateful, love
Hope this made some sense.
Cheers
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Wow. That sounds like quite a night. I remember the 4th dimension effect from the one heavy shroom trip that I took. (I'll go again, but there's only so much fun that I want to have at this point in the game.) Good write up, and what a fine conclusion. Great lingering memory. Maybe the only thing that is really real is the love...
JWM
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