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OfflineUpSyndrome
Male


Registered: 10/16/17
Posts: 978
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan]
    #25235939 - 05/29/18 11:20 AM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

craftycan said:
Quote:

Burke Dennings said:
While we were dating women within our own age group, OP studied the blade.




I dunno what the blade is. Like a ninja sword? Lol.

I do have a beard but it goes up to my eyeballs. I havent understood this whole neckbeard thing since it got started. Beards are awesome. People who dont have them typically grow shit beards imo.




On the other hand, many guys grow beards to cover up acne and double chins.

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InvisibleEnlilMDiscord
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan]
    #25235942 - 05/29/18 11:21 AM (5 years, 9 months ago)

My wife is 9 years younger than me.  She was a virgin when we met, and I was 31 years old.  We've been together for 17 years now.  Here are some observations from my experiences.

1. The power balance will be off, at least initially.  I don't know when my wife and I found the solid equality we have today, but it wasn't like that in the beginning.  That's going to mean it's unlikely that you're going to have a long-term relationship with this person.  She will change a lot.  You will change less.  That will strain the relationship.  In my case, my wife and I broke up for a year.  That breakup left a nasty scar on the relationship for the better part of a decade.  It takes a lot of love, honesty, and loyalty to work through that shit and come out the other side.

2. You will need almost superhuman resilience.  Unless you want a disposable partner, you're going to need to find a way to tolerate and even love those things within her that you've long outgrown in yourself.  The old adage about growing to hate the things that you loved most about her rings very true.  Unless you are adult enough to let go of your need for control, you'll lose the battle and find yourself alone and hurt.

3. She will never be what you have projected upon her.  The sooner you realize that you're doing this, the sooner you can start seeing her as she is.  Every year of pretending she's someone else will just make it harder to unlearn that.

4. You're not smarter than her.  The fact that you think you are just because you're older means you'll probably fail miserably.  Accept now that she's as smart, and probably smarter, than you.  Statistically, the younger generations are smarter than the older generations.  You may have some experience and even wisdom on her, but that advantage will be gone very soon.  Accept that early or expect to have your reality rug pulled out from beneath you.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan]
    #25235949 - 05/29/18 11:25 AM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

craftycan said:
Quote:

Burke Dennings said:
While we were dating women within our own age group, OP studied the blade.




I dunno what the blade is. Like a ninja sword? Lol.

I do have a beard but it goes up to my eyeballs. I havent understood this whole neckbeard thing since it got started. Beards are awesome. People who dont have them typically grow shit beards imo.




Here’s the thing: “neckbeard” has become a catch-all phrase to describe a certain outlook and lifestyle.  Many neckbeards are clean shaven.  Beards are great, but being a neckbeard isn’t so much about the beard on your neck, but rather about the beard on your heart.

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Offlinecraftycan
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Registered: 01/31/17
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #25235954 - 05/29/18 11:27 AM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Lol

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InvisibleEternal Quest
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Konyap]
    #25235960 - 05/29/18 11:31 AM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Konyap said:
Who the fuck wants to date an older woman anyway?




Oh dear... Really?
You'd be surprised :laugh:


--------------------
"Be kind whenever possible.
It is always possible."

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Offlinecraftycan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Eternal Quest]
    #25235963 - 05/29/18 11:33 AM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Eternal Quest said:
Quote:

Konyap said:
Who the fuck wants to date an older woman anyway?




Oh dear... Really?
You'd be surprised :laugh:




I'd never date one but I have had sex with them :smile: (like much older 20+ years)

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InvisibleEternal Quest
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan] * 1
    #25236009 - 05/29/18 12:06 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

craftycan said:
Quote:

Eternal Quest said:
Quote:

Konyap said:
Who the fuck wants to date an older woman anyway?




Oh dear... Really?
You'd be surprised :laugh:




I'd never date one but I have had sex with them :smile: (like much older 20+ years)




Never you say, huh? That's quite an important statement.
Be careful with that. And take this as a friendly advice from a older woman :wink:

In my case I don't really care about age, I've dated/been in relationships with younger guys and older men; guess I'm pretty lucky though because I'm an old soul wearing a pretty young face, and this gives me the opportunity to be quite flexible on this 'matter'.


--------------------
"Be kind whenever possible.
It is always possible."

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Eternal Quest]
    #25236017 - 05/29/18 12:14 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Eternal Quest said:
Never you say, huh? That's quite an important statement.
Be careful with that.



This is sage advice. Every time I say I'll 'never' do something, that thing comes and bites me straight in the ass.

A word to be used with utmost caution, to be sure.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisibleEnlilMDiscord
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan]
    #25236020 - 05/29/18 12:16 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

craftycan said:

I'd never date one



Not even with radiocarbon dating?


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Offlinemmcc
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25236022 - 05/29/18 12:18 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

OP likes girls and not women. that's the issue. as long as dude doesn't keep going down on age both ideally and physically it doesn't matter. wont find a real relationship this way tho.

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OfflineNear Dylan
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Registered: 07/29/15
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan] * 2
    #25236023 - 05/29/18 12:18 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Lemme ask you something. And reallyyyy dig deep for the answer, okay?

Why do you not want a woman who has had sex with another man in the past? Why is it a problem? Give me the true answer. And really get introspective to find it.

My guess, is that there isn't a reason. It is not the girl. It's you. It's your insecurity. You want to be the standard. You want to be the one. The idea that she's treated someone the same as she treats you is hard to handle. And that's not good.


Lemme remind you that YOU are not a virgin. YOU are not innocent. And if your girlfriend didn't wanna be with you because you had sex with other women in the past, you would think that was ridiculous, and unreasonable. Am I correct?



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Offlinecraftycan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Near Dylan]
    #25236081 - 05/29/18 12:51 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
Lemme ask you something. And reallyyyy dig deep for the answer, okay?

Why do you not want a woman who has had sex with another man in the past? Why is it a problem? Give me the true answer. And really get introspective to find it.

My guess, is that there isn't a reason. It is not the girl. It's you. It's your insecurity. You want to be the standard. You want to be the one. The idea that she's treated someone the same as she treats you is hard to handle. And that's not good.


Lemme remind you that YOU are not a virgin. YOU are not innocent. And if your girlfriend didn't wanna be with you because you had sex with other women in the past, you would think that was ridiculous, and unreasonable. Am I correct?






First off let me say I'm well aware I'm hypocritical. I think I've made that clear by saying I want a virgin but I've been with many women. I'm under no delusions on that.

And I think I've made the othe other point clear to. I want to be everything to her? I dont want the "Oh I remember jacob. He will always have a piece of my heart" bullshit. It really does just bug me that they've been with someone else.


And I mean.... it seems like semantics to say "Its not the girl you care about. Its you! Your insecurities!" The only reason I have an opinion on the matter is because of me. So the girl is irrelevant isnt she? I mean if I liked women my age it would be because of me too lol.

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Offlinecraftycan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Near Dylan]
    #25236087 - 05/29/18 12:53 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Anyways we are beating a dead horse here. All the information seems to be presented in this thread.

We will see what my future holds. I probably should just hurry up and have kids so I can stop giving a fuck about women so much.

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InvisibleEnlilMDiscord
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan]
    #25236095 - 05/29/18 12:57 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Having children is morally reprehensible.


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InvisibleEternal Quest
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Enlil]
    #25236099 - 05/29/18 01:01 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Enlil said:
Having children is morally reprehensible.




There you go! A whole new chapter :lol:


--------------------
"Be kind whenever possible.
It is always possible."

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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan] * 1
    #25236117 - 05/29/18 01:11 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

craftycan said:It really does just bug me that they've been with someone else.




But why? Ask yourself that. It may take days to find the real answer. Maybe months. Maybe years. But there is a reason that you want innocent girls. There is a reason that you want to be their only experience. And I imagine it is a selfish, and unreasonable one. But that's for you to find out.

I don't know you. But you know yourself. And I think digging into the reasons that you want to be 'superior' to, and be more experienced than your girlfriend, would help you to quell your insecurity and unrealistic expectations of being in a relationship.

You seem like you want to be dominant. You want control. You want them to be all yours.  But they are an individual with individual experiences, just like you. And that's beautiful. A girl having sex with a man in her past does not make them unattractive or undesirable. It makes them human. Again, just like you. You are not looking for a human. You are looking for a pet. You're looking for someone to own. And if that's your intention, you've already failed.

There's beauty in the fact that two people can have lots of relaitonships that dont work out, than meet each other, and have it come together and work. Only someone who is very unhealthily possessieve and insecure would view a woman as inferior because she lived a similar life to you. As you said, it's hypocritical. And you realize that. Yet, you continue to live by this mentality, knowing that it goes against your own preferences.

I hate to sound like a male feminist fag boy, but woman are humans too lol. Not objects that you own, and can easily mold into something you want them to be. Love a woman as an individual. As who they are. As a human. View them as you would like to be viewed. Treat them as you'd like to be treated.  Their past experiences made them who they are today, just like you.


--------------------

Edited by Near Dylan (05/29/18 01:17 PM)

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Offlinecraftycan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Near Dylan]
    #25236127 - 05/29/18 01:17 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Bro I made a comment about a bad cheating event I went through where she tricked me for ages just to keep living rent free at my house. She took advantage of me asking directly if she was cheating and just answered "no". She knew I couldn't know for sure and it would drive me nuts. She tortured me basically. So after 6 months of this I pretended to drive off one day and walked back to house and waited. And THATS what it took to find out she was cheating. I had to become a stalker.

Its not a dominance thing. I dont get a thrill from stepping on people and cackling hysterically. I like to lift people up. I'm just worried as fuck that I'll lift someone up like that girl who cheated on me... and they'll use the fuck out of me.

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OfflineLucisM
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Registered: 03/28/15
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Eternal Quest]
    #25236131 - 05/29/18 01:18 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:
Aaliyah said "age ain't nothing but a number"

as long as you're both consenting adults it's OK.




I should clarify something, that was me jesting hence the Aaliyah lyrics :lol:, I don't want to condone anyone trying to manipulate another person.



Quote:

craftycan said:
I am so clearly more intelligent than they are and am able to mold them how I wish.




If that's how you approach it then you're wrong, and you have issues if you want to manipulate another.

But, I have known plenty of people to be OK with dating girls in their early 20's (21-23) despite being in their mid 30's, no problems at all, no manipulation.

It all depends on what type of person you are, and what you want out of a relationship.  It's seeing the world through a very limited view to say that a guy can't find happiness with a younger girl, many girls date older guys because girls mature faster and they don't want the hassle of dealing with a younger guy who still has to prove his macho nature to the world which often opens the relationship up to infidelity for the obvious reasons.


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OfflineNear Dylan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: craftycan] * 1
    #25236134 - 05/29/18 01:21 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

That's called insecurity. Your girlfriend cheated on you. You don't think every single person in this thread has had a girlfriend cheat on them? Had a girlfriend betray them? Had a girlfriend wreck them emotionally? We all have.  Trsut me. You need to man up and get over it, frankly. You are scared to get betrayed again, and that's natural, but your way of avoiding it is very self-centered and controlling.


You're literally wanna date teenagers because you found out one of your girlfriends cheated on you after you legitimately stalked her. You realize how bad that sounds??


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Offlinecraftycan
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Re: Dating younger women [Re: Near Dylan]
    #25236136 - 05/29/18 01:22 PM (5 years, 9 months ago)

I mean she was like REALLY sadistic with it. She had secondary social medias. She was SUPER sweet and acted all nice. Anytime anything was brought up that was sketchy she would be SUPER offended and be mad at me and make me feel bad.

It was insane the depths she went to keep this lie going. And I had been with her for years so she knew me WAY too well. She could play me perfectly. And pretty much no one has seen into my head like that. It fucking terrifies the shit out of me now.

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