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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
I think I'm depressed * 2
    #25179913 - 05/02/18 02:30 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

And I feel like ive been that way for a long time.

Maybe bipolar. I feel like im on an emotional rollercoaster and have been since the age of 13.

I feel like ive been masking pain with drugs or holding it in and refusing to acknowledge it.

Im scared of the world and wish i could just be a kid again. I feel like im alone. I feel like im not cut out for this life, and wonder if i should just end it. I don't know how much longer I can handle this.


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OfflineViolet Wizard
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Registered: 10/30/17
Posts: 1,508
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Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25179957 - 05/02/18 03:04 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Do you have any hobbies, passions, or goals for the future to keep you grounded? Being alone doesnt have to be so bad as long as you have a constructive means to occupy your time as well as the ability to celebrate small personal successes. Having a passion gives you a purpose and being able to reward yourself gives you validation through accomplishment.

Another thing that is important is to try to develop solid goals through which you grow and develop. Basically the best way to feel purpose is to achieve something and be able to recognize your small successes as well as your big ones.


--------------------
Promise me to pass the time. Dance with me on plastic tears. Kiss me, we won’t feel alone, till morning when we disappear.



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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 24,436
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 2
    #25179971 - 05/02/18 03:11 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Im scared of the world and wish i could just be a kid again. I feel like im alone. I feel like im not cut out for this life, and wonder if i should just end it. I don't know how much longer I can handle this.



I've never met an honest man that didn't feel this way.

The moment anyone says to me that their life is easy, I discount them as a bullshit artist and eject them from my life.

I've got no time for people that are dishonest with themselves or anyone else.

Basically, what it comes down to is;



--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineADCC420
LOVE YOU
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Registered: 03/06/18
Posts: 361
Loc: Somewhere around Mexico
Last seen: 2 hours, 32 minutes
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 2
    #25179978 - 05/02/18 03:15 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Why are you scared of the world OP? You only got one life so enjoy the fuck out of it. Life will be always hard so why being unhappy if its gonna be hard anyway?:shrug: do what makes you happy there must be SOMETHING that makes you happy (i like to get high and dance at raves, eating pussy, smoking weed, and spending time with my son).

Just like Violet Wizard said: find something you are passionate about but fuck being depressed brother! its a big world out there.. Lots of fun stuff to do:likeaboss:.

:hug:


--------------------
"I had learned, from years of experience with men, that when a man really DESIRES a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win".

''But the man who knows that he has a Solar Plexus will not fear criticism or anything else; he will be too busy radiating courage, confidence, and power; he will anticipate success by his mental attitude; he will pound barriers to pieces, and leap over the chasm of doubt and hesitation which fear places in his path''.


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 1
    #25179980 - 05/02/18 03:16 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

With so much drama in the LBC, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-Double-G.


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OfflineSushiKing
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Registered: 06/16/14
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Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: Robo] * 1
    #25179985 - 05/02/18 03:18 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Sounds like you are par for the course! In all seriousness, I believe you already addressed the problem in your OP. "masking pain with drugs"  Maybe its time to take a break and focus on your mental health.

When feeling depressed, drinking is the worst thing you can do for yourself. knock that off if that is your thing!

Dive into your hobbies and take it a day at a time!


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InvisibleSham87
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Posts: 9,316
Loc: Pacific Coast
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 1
    #25179994 - 05/02/18 03:23 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

:hug: Hey man I know how you feel, low key battling that shit myself. Not diagnosed by a dr but I've felt this sadness in my heart my whole life and just like you use drugs to mask that pain.

The only advice I can give you is to get out and conquer your fear man, it's a big world out there and its quite hostile but its also one of the most beautifully perplexing things you can experience. Everything that makes up the world is in itself it's own world which can be pretty interesting.

I would also advice you to cut back on the drug use man. Take a break, your mind and body might need it and for all we know is one of the reasons you feel all down and out. Exercise is also known to help overcome those shitty feels.

I hope you feel better man :hug:


--------------------
:mushroom2::sun::crazy2::leaf:




...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...



:feelsgoatman:


Edited by Sham87 (05/02/18 03:46 PM)


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
octopus fucking starfish
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 33,429
Loc: Swimming in Circles Flag
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25180009 - 05/02/18 03:35 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

You are still a kid dude. Think about that. Take a break from drugs if you can, and do your best to just let your thoughts be thoughts. Let them wash over you, and see each time getting past it as an experience in growth. Most of all, find something that really means something you and put your heart and soul into it. Sometimes I have a hard time being proud of myself, but I can always be proud if I’ve done well. I have a hard time, in my head.. sometimes. But man, life is great. Just look at it out there.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 24,436
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #25180042 - 05/02/18 03:53 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:l
ife is great. Just look at it out there.



Sometimes, it takes a lot of hard work and effort to get to this POV.

Drugs are the easy route; hence they don't last and often exacerbate the issue.

Living righteously is the hard route, and since nothing worth having ever came easy, it seems the correct path to goodness.

Lifting, running, reading, writing, meditating, eating well, pushing yourself, going out, walking, meeting new people, working, finding a good job, training, sleeping well, keeping a routine, resisting temptation, etc, etc, etc.

We live in a world where it's shoved down our throats that 'you can be happy by just using this one weird trick' - but anyone with any sense knows that's utter bullshit.

You get out what you put in.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25180068 - 05/02/18 04:12 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Thanks for the support guys, I read all the replies. ive been doing oxy a lot. i think I have a serious problem. I feel like opiates are breaking my will to live.


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Invisibleremake
Male

Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 3,759
Loc: South Africa Flag
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25180072 - 05/02/18 04:15 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

I feel/felt the same way everyday. One moment I’m burning in flames the next I’m cool as a cucumber.

I wake up and throughout the day say more or less the following:

“I wanna fucking die, this is supposed to be my home but everything is out to kill me, what fucking bullshit is this?”

“This shit is kinda cool”

“Man, I want to rule the world”

“Fuck satan, fuck god!”

“I got to get out of this town!”

Then I try to focus on something and try to teleport or some shit.
Then I feel connected to everything, then I’m completely disconnected,
Then I feel absolutely insane, then stupid, then smart, then sane as an ancient sage...

I crave a connection of some sort, but don’t want to hurt anyone, but people seem like they want to hurt people and this is what they do and they just don’t care.

Something is on its way out or in or coming or going and I don’t know what the fuck it is, what it’s supposed to be, or why.

I want to cry, I want to die, I want to laugh, I want to live.

But there’s a slight sense of growth, feels like I’m giving birth to something while something else is dying...

Sometimes I just burst out in chant and dance.

:peace: :heart:


--------------------


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OfflineVeihler
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Registered: 03/29/18
Posts: 341
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 1
    #25180093 - 05/02/18 04:30 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
And I feel like ive been that way for a long time.

Maybe bipolar. I feel like im on an emotional rollercoaster and have been since the age of 13.

I feel like ive been masking pain with drugs or holding it in and refusing to acknowledge it.

Im scared of the world and wish i could just be a kid again. I feel like im alone. I feel like im not cut out for this life, and wonder if i should just end it. I don't know how much longer I can handle this.




It really sucks but you just can't ever be a kid again so give that idea up.
I certainly see the appeal to ending your life, but what if it doesn't really end? Do you think its over after you die? Maybe you'll just propel yourself into a new life and/or body somewhere with some really bad momentum if you do something like that.


--------------------
...Did he doubt or did he try? Answers aplenty in the bye and bye
Talk about your plenty and talk about your ills, one man gathers what another man spills.


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 6,262
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25180100 - 05/02/18 04:33 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Felt that way for a long time and tried many times.  Then one day it was sort of an a moment of sudden revelation or insight. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.   

Just some definitions of having a epiphany.  Nothing remarkable or religion about it.  Just knowing no matter how depressed, and I still get depressed, I always thought it would be easier to be dead.  Then one day I just realized the grass isn't greener on the other side and it wouldn't make things better.  I will die soon enough, I'm tired of thinking about it as I've wasted so much time on suicidal ideation.  To each their own though. I choose to just go through whatever emotions or shit life throws at me.

Best in your life and whatever you choose in it.  One thing I hate is being told what to do and how to live.


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InvisibleRobo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #25180105 - 05/02/18 04:36 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

You probably just need to move a little more, eat a little better, and drink lots of water. Cut out the added sugars. Call me dumb, but I almost don't believe in "depression" as in, the alleged condition that requires medication.

I've been through the whole depression thing, and you can't expect to do almost no work, sit around and have some magic pill fix everything. I think most people aren't doing something right, or they are neglecting something. I would get out in nature dude. Go backpacking or camping, something. Get some sunshine and fresh air, and your juices flowing a bit.


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Invisibleremake
Male

Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 3,759
Loc: South Africa Flag
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: Robo]
    #25180118 - 05/02/18 04:42 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Yeah, there’s a lot of things personally that I realize I need to work on, it’s just the fear of the unknown and things like regret etc. holding me back.

Patience is hard work.

Good luck OP, you’re not alone even if it feels like that and it gets super intense and isolated inside your mind.

I don’t want to think or feel sometimes. And I don’t know what I want from life yet. Everything sounds either super depressing or super exaggerated.

Just want peace.

I’m cutting out social media or listening too much to other people’s narcissistic lifestyles and dreams. I’ve lost a sense of authenticity and authority within my own mind.

But, I think it's OK to not feel happy...I mean, what the hell? Everybody is trying so hard to be "happy" ALL THE TIME.

I've regained a slight ability to analyze my thoughts again calmly, and not try to just ignore them...that just seems to make them louder.


--------------------


Edited by remake (05/02/18 04:51 PM)


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Invisiblemycoprog
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Registered: 01/12/06
Posts: 797
Loc: N. America
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: ADCC420] * 1
    #25180179 - 05/02/18 05:19 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

ADCC420 said:
i like to get high and dance at raves, eating pussy, smoking weed, and spending time with my son




:thumbup::thumbup:


I also really love getting high and dancing at raves, eating pussy, smoking weed, and spending time with my son.

All of these generate a healthy amount of happiness for me.

:awebig:


--------------------


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OfflineADCC420
LOVE YOU
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Registered: 03/06/18
Posts: 361
Loc: Somewhere around Mexico
Last seen: 2 hours, 32 minutes
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: mycoprog]
    #25180234 - 05/02/18 05:47 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

mycoprog said:
Quote:

ADCC420 said:
i like to get high and dance at raves, eating pussy, smoking weed, and spending time with my son




:thumbup::thumbup:


I also really love getting high and dancing at raves, eating pussy, smoking weed, and spending time with my son.

All of these generate a healthy amount of happiness for me.

:awebig:




:raisemyglass:




:hug::peace:


--------------------
"I had learned, from years of experience with men, that when a man really DESIRES a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win".

''But the man who knows that he has a Solar Plexus will not fear criticism or anything else; he will be too busy radiating courage, confidence, and power; he will anticipate success by his mental attitude; he will pound barriers to pieces, and leap over the chasm of doubt and hesitation which fear places in his path''.


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 13,037
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Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: ADCC420] * 2
    #25180281 - 05/02/18 06:14 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Taper off the opiods, exercise more if you dont already, and most importantly just breathe and know we are all on this together :shroomeryhead:


--------------------
Higher than hell and low as heaven will go....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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OfflineEnvix
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Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: xbloodwhipx] * 2
    #25180408 - 05/02/18 07:34 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
And I feel like ive been that way for a long time.

Maybe bipolar. I feel like im on an emotional rollercoaster and have been since the age of 13.

I feel like ive been masking pain with drugs or holding it in and refusing to acknowledge it.

Im scared of the world and wish i could just be a kid again. I feel like im alone. I feel like im not cut out for this life, and wonder if i should just end it. I don't know how much longer I can handle this.




stay strong. maybe you do need to take some time to look deep within yourself and come to terms with yourself and who you are. but don't feel like you gotta go through it alone because you don't have to. pm me if you ever need someone to talk to, and i'm sure plenty of other folks on here would be willing to do the same.

do what you gotta do, but don't do anything drastic especially when there's still so many options, perhaps you just haven't been able to see those options clearly yet at this point, but trust me they are there. just remember the most important thing in life is to

KNOW THYSELF

:themoreyouknow:

it's a journey. but you have friends and folks who are willing to help you along the way. you just gotta be open to it. i've spent a majority of my life in isolation and it wasn't until recently that i've finally started to open up to people and accept the fact that i need help and can't get through this life shit alone. i thought asking for help would make me weak, but honestly i've never felt stronger since doing just that. sometimes when you lose yourself or lose sight of who you are, you gotta face the fact that you don't know yourself before you can finally start remembering who you truly are. it can be hard to take a good hard look in the mirror and face facts, and maybe you have to admit to things about yourself that you really aren't proud of. but just know that no one is really judging you. we only judge ourselves.

i wish you well in your journey.

:heart:


--------------------
R . I . P todcasil , acid sloth, big worm , tim b , MF DOOM

Get these hoes out my dimension
continue my ascension
-bhad bhabie




Edited by Envix (05/02/18 07:39 PM)


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Registered: 10/30/09
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Last seen: 3 hours, 31 minutes
Re: I think I'm depressed [Re: Envix] * 2
    #25180438 - 05/02/18 07:46 PM (3 years, 6 days ago)

Most heavy drug users who think they are 'depressed' are just anhedonic from chronic heavy drug use. If they stop or slow way down on their drug use, the 'depression' usually goes away.


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