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fatal222316
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Advice needed on a special needs trust
#25163364 - 04/24/18 09:23 PM (5 years, 9 months ago) |
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My wife had a stroke-during birth nine years ago and has acquired a large special needs trust, Her father is the trust advisor and dislikes me very much and uses the money to try and control her, a lot of things he wants are to her benefit but he is trying to control our lives through the trust and her financial advisor there seems to be nothing I can do it is living hell any suggestions with people that know about trust funds would be helpful I have really lost hope in this matter to make things better. A example would be him telling her he doesn’t. Want her to spend her allowance on getting her nails done, she has a budgeted allowance, or me to mow the lawn when he wants etc. etc. the house is owned by her and I am made to take care of it and certain bills which is fine with me, to pay my fair share the problem comes in when he threatens to take away her means of income if things aren’t done his way I can’t live with people telling what to do all the time it is ruining our marriage and life suggestions would be great but I think besides going to court nothing can be done and it would get very messy, thanks in advance
-------------------- "Who says upright Ape's should know the secrets of the Universe"--Terrance McKenna
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geokills
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Re: Advice needed on a special needs trust [Re: fatal222316]
#25163997 - 04/25/18 08:02 AM (5 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm sorry that you have to deal with such a complex, difficult and heartbreaking situation. You note that your wife's father is the trust advisor, but given your statements it seems more likely that he is the sole trustee and thus has full discretion over how the trust is managed? If the father is in fact only a trust advisor, you should be speaking directly with the trustee to make a clear case why the trust is being mismanaged in a way such that it is not providing the intended benefit for your wife's well being. You of course need to be very careful in making such a case, as you would not want to focus on the fact that you are being coerced to do certain things to maintain your family's benefit from the trust, instead focusing strictly on how your wife's benefit is being restricted or she herself is being manipulated.
Ultimately, if the trust was written by your father in law and he is the sole trustee, there is nothing you are going to be able to do to change the way the funds are managed/distributed, short of convincing him directly to act in a different way. If you feel that there is no way this arrangement can be reconciled amicably, it would seem that your only other options would be to discuss this directly with your wife and ask her to advocate on these issues herself, and to ultimately decide together to decline your father in law's requests (inclusive of his financial assistance), should you decide that it comes down to your ability to maintain a successful marriage versus your ability to claim the financial assistance from the trust. If your income is very low, you can probably apply for state funding (medicaid) to help meet your wife's medical needs as well as various other assistance programs that vary by state for some of your other necessary living expenses.
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fatal222316
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Registered: 09/15/11
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Re: Advice needed on a special needs trust [Re: geokills]
#25165495 - 04/25/18 08:14 PM (5 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yes it is a difficult situation the trust was not written by the father in law but he is the advisor all descions run through him don’t know if that is considered the trustee too. My wife has a hard time standing up for herself and can not change his mind we can get Medicaid because the trust means we have no money or she doesn’t in her name, ultimately though it looks like we’re screwed to bow down if we would like to keep our lifestyle and for me to be in my wife’s life I must keep up appearances and do as I am told I don’t know if I can keep this up it is not who I am.
-------------------- "Who says upright Ape's should know the secrets of the Universe"--Terrance McKenna
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




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Re: Advice needed on a special needs trust [Re: fatal222316]
#25165956 - 04/26/18 01:31 AM (5 years, 9 months ago) |
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You can sue for trust mismanagement if you actually think its legally being mismanaged. You would definitely want to consult a lawyer on something like this. There are all sorts of grey area vague reasons you can think its being mismanaged to start the lawsuit, but if you actually win is a whole other story and those lawyers won't come cheap.
http://www.wintterlaw.com/beneficiaries-can-trust-mismanaged/
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fatal222316
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Registered: 09/15/11
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Loc: FL
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Re: Advice needed on a special needs trust [Re: mndfreeze]
#25166117 - 04/26/18 05:00 AM (5 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for the advice I will look into it because I Think that’s what is happening just because it is suppose to be for my wife’s medical needs and it’s not being used for that properly but I hate to dig into money that she fought so hard for
-------------------- "Who says upright Ape's should know the secrets of the Universe"--Terrance McKenna
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