Whether it be with my family, friends, or basically anybody, I'm always that one person that can slip their minds and out of their life without effort. Some of the toxic ones I initiated myself to get myself in a better environment, but I've seemed to have this curse throughout my life. One of my oldest memories is of my first day in kindergarten school when I had made 2 friends, Zach and Sam. We all seemed to get along at first but when it came time for recess they immediately clicked together and treated me like they didn't want me around. I don't know what I do. If I'm just annoying, if I don't interact properly, or what it is exactly but I can feel that it's me and I don't know how to fix it.
In all honesty, I don't want a social life. I can't stand people for the most part. But it would be nice to have just one person, you know? Even with the women I hook up with, they're all either already in relationships or don't want anything serious. And I just can't figure it out.
Does every 22/23 year old go through this or am I just some weird annoying piece of shit?
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Well, Maybe I am just skeptical but you are posting anonymously. (i am a skeptical person if you didnt catch the joke)
And well. You live a hard life cuz your strong and dont like the way natural things are. The natural isnt good enough for you, I think you want something more than what these people always have together.
You could just have a curse on you who knows.
I havnt click with people in almost 7 years, I am finally recovering from depression anxieties schizo and paranoia. I had to stop everything ive done. Basically i had to die like a monk or Buddha or even worse.
You also probably take life a little to serious. Seriousness can drive you away from reality itself and people.
Why so serious?
You can figure this one out dude. Your strong and smart.
And yes i do go through all this annoying shit of finding somebody i like. I barely go to drink at bars because I assume and judge that they're almost entirely made of bull shit. But than again, Thats because i take everybody too seriously when im at the bar, i should just Fkn chill outt rightt?
Figure out something morally Maybe you just dont know what it is your looking for in your friend and what you desire. What is the line that defines you and them? Sometimes it is that we lack preparation of our best self. Maybe we just dont have everything we need for our perfect relationship. Maybe ill meet somebody i really like but they could break my natural morals and im not suppose to break these morals? or who knows maybe you are supposed to break out of some chaining morals.
Meditate upon it, To know thyself is to know another.
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