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OfflineRedno
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Registered: 04/02/18
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Last seen: 3 years, 5 days
I am the sand. * 4
    #25108976 - 04/02/18 06:20 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Before I start I'd like to show my gratitude. Without this forum none of my experience I am about to share would be possible. Thank you all so much for your information and energy!

Bare with me, I have a lot to share.

So after successfully harvesting my first grow (BRF Tek) I decided my first trip would consist of 2.5 grams dried via Tea Tek or whatever the fuck you want to call it. :grin:

I prepared for my trip using the details outlined in the book The Psychedelic Explorers Guide by Dr. James Fadiman and some tips I found from Podcasts and this forum. My intention was purely  therapeutic. For some context, I've had a long history in therapy, I deal with some anxiety, and PTSD. I've worked hard on myself, I know myself pretty well. I've come a long way but I have more work to do.

So after I drank the tea, which tasted great (Mighty Leaf- Green Tropical), I lay down and put on a playlist and shut my eyes. The playlist was created for trippers by researchers at Johns Hopkins they use it for their patients taking trips with therapists by their side. The playlist can be found on Spotify "Psilocybin Research: Johns Hopkins..." Powerful shit.

During the come up which took a while since I couldn't fast, I was having a power struggle inside. I saw some mild fractals, but I was struggling with some anxiety. I told my wife I was tired of the constant struggle I've had inside of me, always trying to control my reactions and always contemplating how I should react to things instead of just trusting in myself and flowing. That felt good to acknowledge. Then I saw, in the 3rd person, a purple pulsing rootlike ooze holding me down to black nothingness, my face was absolutely exhausted. I could feel it inside my guts, it was my anxiety. I wanted to let it go, my mind moved on from there.

I told the mushrooms I was ready, be good to me. At one point i asked them if I was doing ok. A gnome head with a mushroom cap appeared. It raised its eyebrows repeatedly with a mischievous grin saying something like "yea buddy, thats it". At this point I was laughing to myself and was ok with the journey.

There was a point I could see myself almost like the Sandman in Spiderman it wasn't my face but I knew it was me. My sand body was falling through a narrow crevice. I was thinking how do I get out? How do I survive this, what do I do?!? Then it hit me. I said to myself, "I am the sand." HOLY SHIT BRO. I've heard ideas like this and I've agreed to an extent but this resonated with me like never before. We are connected to everything in existence.

I had a moment where I pulled a large red glowing tic tac shaped object from my body. I said, "thats my pain". I wanted to destroy it, but I couldn't, my mind moved on.

I also saw a vision that went into my guts. I came to a realization that I had cancer (I hope that isn't true). I saw a decayed part of my intestines, I was convinced that I was dying and I didn't have long to live. I was joyous, "Let's ride this mother fucker till the wheels fall off!!!"

There was darkness with a small beam of light stretching across my vision and up through the darkness to a small point. The classical music at this point was beginning a tremendous crescendo. What I understood was me was ripped away; a figure of white light, being pulled up to the beam of white light. I had no control. I could only watch as my spirit, limbs limped, suspended by the chest raised higher and higher. Towards the top I knew something was going to happen. I said, "I'm ready." The music was raising to a dramatic and powerful peak. I was instantly teleported to my fathers beside at the moment of his death, I was there again, the intense sorrow, the fear. He was dying, I WAS DYING. I saw a vision of a corpse in the fetal position, grayed and dehydrated. I may have embodied it. The violins SCREAMED. Everything became very still, lungs holding then BAM! In an instant. Burst of horizontal white light. A small vision of nondescript objects and faces flashed before me like shuffling cards. I let go, I died. I opened my eyes WAILING. My wife comes in the room to console me, I said "IT TOOK ME THERE IT TOOK ME THERE!" I hadn't cried like that since I lost my father 14 years ago. My father died, I died. I feel like it really happened, and I'm so fucking happy to be here with you all. It taught me that my father is here with me, that energy runs through me, it runs through all of us.

The comedown was dope, my father was a musician so I listened to so of his favorite jams along with mine and just danced uninhibited. Joyfully.

The next day was amazing, I ran through a local park with lakes and nature and was just overjoyed. So happy to able to experience this gift we have. Today I feel great and I vow to not let this experience go in vain, I will integrate what I learned into my life and spread the joy to the world.

Thank you for reading,
Peace and Love


Edited by Redno (04/02/18 06:35 PM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 28,961
Re: I am the sand. [Re: Redno] * 1
    #25112000 - 04/03/18 10:01 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

that was wild!

thanks for sharing!


--------------------


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Invisiblepineninja
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Registered: 08/18/14
Posts: 12,040
Loc: South Flag
Re: I am the sand. [Re: redgreenvines]
    #25112009 - 04/03/18 10:06 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Just great, thanks..:thumbsup:


Went with that playlist myself last adventure...highly recommend.


--------------------
Just a fool on the hill.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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