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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread * 11
    #25058312 - 03/12/18 03:13 PM (2 years, 3 months ago)

Over one million people die by suicide worldwide each year.

That's over 2739 suicides per day and an average of one suicide every 40 seconds.

It is far too common in this world and though you may feel alone while in the fog of suicidal depression, you are far from alone. That's just the objective facts.

This thread is a completely troll-free zone with an anonymous posting option enabled. A place where Shroomery members can seek council and get talked down from the ledge. If you are concerned about the possible negative ramifications of voicing suicidal thoughts to a healthcare professional, let this thread be your cry for help away from the prying ears of the (Babylon) system's tentacles. If speaking with "unshroomy" strangers on a 1-800 hotline is not your cup of tea, then let this thread be your saving grace.

Your life is worth saving no matter how deep of a hole you think you are in or how bad you think it is. The Shroomery Community is here to serve you, unconditionally and free from judgment and persecution.

TL;DR - DON'T DO IT! WE LOVE YOU! :heart:


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 3
    #25058318 - 03/12/18 03:18 PM (2 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

WhiskeyClone said:
Suicide is a topic that comes up often here, so please, before you do anything drastic, talk to somebody.  You are not alone, and there are services to help you.

There is always someone to talk to, 24/7, at National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  Call if you're concerned about yourself, or somebody else.  It's free, and confidential.

1-800-273-8255

And it's not just for concerns about suicide, they can also help with:
  • Abuse/violence
  • Economic problems
  • Information on mental health/illness
  • Sexual orientation issues
  • Post-disaster needs
  • Homelessness issues
  • Substance abuse/addiction
  • Physical illness
  • To help a friend or loved one
  • Loneliness
  • Relationship problems
  • Family problems
Click here for more information about the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.




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InvisibleThayendanegeaS
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 3
    #25058342 - 03/12/18 03:35 PM (2 years, 3 months ago)

You're an allright dude JSB, don't care what the Yanks in RI say about you.:cool:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #1

Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Thayendanegea] * 1
    #25080659 - 03/21/18 08:28 PM (2 years, 3 months ago)

Big ups on posting that jsb


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Offlinemerch137
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25253548 - 06/07/18 08:24 AM (2 years, 1 month ago)

I got a big pro tip on preventing suicide : Prevent psychiatrists from misdiagnosing so often causing the persons life to go downhill, there should have been many "bastard psychiatrist" etc threads in here.


--------------------
Those that know their mushrooms say...[...] Amanita.
[quote]sublimistri said:
id probably just trip it out then make them a friend and grow my own belladonna secretly to dose them on. [/quote]

[quote]sublimistri said:
this is the exact reason I wanna grow belladonna, because ima get that bitch back. [/quote]


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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #25411731 - 08/25/18 07:49 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

For almost all people contemplating suicide, mending the situation IS possible and after the fact most are glad they didnt check out.










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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25413762 - 08/26/18 05:07 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Awesome post JSB.

I fully approve of suicide prevention. If u think your life is shit, its really not. U can change it if u really want to. There is no eternal misery.


--------------------
"Conscious contains the ideas, the thoughts, the building blocks behind every reality. Sentience, on the other hand, is the creative force that animates reality and experiences all possible emotions and sensations within them. Consciousness creates reality, sentience experiences reality. Together, consciousness and sentience create the totality of Creation." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin
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OfflineGreat Scott
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #25449811 - 09/10/18 03:28 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day

Sept. 10

:like:


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:thumbup: :thumbdown:


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InvisiblemndfreezeM
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Great Scott]
    #25450047 - 09/10/18 05:22 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

:manofapproval:


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]


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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: mndfreeze] * 3
    #25451459 - 09/11/18 05:47 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Since we're all on real talk on this very serious topic, let me throw some cards open.

My mother was clinically depressed most her life. she was bipolar from an extremely abusive housegold, so much so that over half of her many siblings committed suicide.

Her breaking point was her pregnancy of me, she got postpartum depression and this made her illness manifest and not go away.

She blamed me heavily for it and always systematically disadvantaged me towards my older brother, including in very cruel ways. My parents divorced early, my older brother knew no better than to  take out his frustration upon me, that I was to be kicked and kept down as per my mothers example.

At age six, my grandfather raped me, mat least once. Maybe more but, memory is cloudy. He had done so a generation before with his daughter, he got fucked up in the head by having been a slave laborer for the Nazis during the war where he was subjected to unspeakable cruelty and had to channel his powerlessness into enacting the sadism he endured on others. He was my fathers father, so my father grew up in Hell also and thus, could not relate to his kids or, people in general.

Because of all this horrid abuse I becvame the perfect bullying target at school, kids from several classes unloaded their bullying on me, every recess, all recess, before school, after school, any way they could get me.

There was no safety anywhere but inside my head, and there I lost it, too, the combination of trauma, PTSD and active abuse from all sides turned me psychotic.

When I was 8 or 9 my mother told my brother and me that she was going for a nap and we should wake her a few hours later. Once upstairs she took all the pills she had saved up, and lay in bed hoping to die before we woke her.

I found her, we found her, in deep coma.

Ambulance, traumatic, psychiatric hospital, now on top of things she never forgave me that I had foiled her suicide attempt.

I was a chemistry kid and good at it. At age 13 I synthesized a batch of multiple lethal doses of a well known and rapidly lethal violent poison. I kept it in a sealed test tube, poison hazmat symbol upon it, by my bed, and there weree mornings when I got up and I just sat there with the tube in my hand wondering whether  to endure just one more day of that hell I lived in or just take the fast acting poison and go back to bed - which was the same bed my mother tried to take her life in, because we had switched rooms.

I kept finding reasons to do one more day.

An inner voice one day told me to take the bottle of diethylether, put it on a red hanky and inhale the fumes. I did, I got very high, I met with spirits and was taken to noncorporeal dimensions. I CAME HOME, a home untouchable by those traumatizing me, a home where angels sang to me and I got premonitions and omens that CAME TRUE IN RL, a realm infused with Meaning.
I had found a reason to live.

Not drugs but, the supernatural realm. Spirits had been visiting me as young as 4 years old and I had kinda tucked that away in my mind but, now they came back with a vengeance. They had chosen me, I had chosen them, they took care of me like no one did, made me be i the right places in the right time to take part in the miraculous. I was foretold becoming an admin of the Shroomery a decade and a half before it even was created, before there even was smethig like an internet beyond dial-in BBS. It all came together.

I'll stop the narrative here.

At 13 I thought there was no way I'd see adulthood, that I'd kill myself any day and that was that. Spirits came through for me when no one did. Most of all I came through for myself.

I healed almost all my wounds myself, with psychedelics.

Dont do that if you're suicidal, GET HELP.

It is often that the fewer options you see, the more you suffer from tunnel vision and there actually ARE options.

Don't kill yourself friends.

One more day.

And then another, and another.

Let God pry this life from your cold dead hands.

Refuse to die, refuse to let adversity win.

Especially if you are not terminally ill and incapacitated, do what you can to not give in to thoughts of suicide.

Realize that emergency services are there to save a life and that acute suicidality in fact is a VALID reason to call 911 (saying this on 9/11) because a life most precious, YOURS, is at stake.

Reach out to RL and online friends. reach out to professional help.

Get help if you need it.

NEVER GIVE IN!

Love yourself like the Divine Cosmos loves you, even though it stacked shit so high on top of you that you struggle not to drown.

GET HELP.

If your mind goes round and round frantically, or does not move at all, there are pharmaceuticals out there that slam you flat on a mattress or perk you up like its christmas on crack. There are therapies now that actually kick ass, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, stuff that works. If you are in pain because of chronic illness, chances are doctors will take a more forceful approach to that if they find its driving you to the unacceptable.

Theres things you can do. 90% of people who dont succeed in suicide are glad that they didnt, or that it failed, in the soimewhat longer run.

No exit is a feeling, a state of mind, much more often than it is a reality.

GET HELP.


RL first person account of person who actualy jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge



Powerful Emotional motivational vs. depression & suicide



Rational motivational - TED talk on Suicide and the road back to Life



Spiritual motivational - The Way of the Tears (Islamic Nasheed)



Logic - 1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara, Khalid


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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Asante] * 1
    #25458972 - 09/14/18 07:02 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

The moderators of this forum will not stand for encouragents of suicide, or the urging of people in perilous conditions to quit meds or therapies against medical advice (AMA). we will even bar people from the forum from it.

We are our brothers keeper and all super spiritual and all that, but we are not physically th4ere to help pick up the pieces if our well intentioned advice ruins a person or their family.

This is not about legality but moreover about taking responsible decisions in what you advise someon who might be impaired in judgement and qwho definitely isnt telling the qwhole story about whats going on.






Lets not forget that the Divine Universe created doctors, therapies and meds for a reason.


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OfflineSildara
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Asante]
    #25458996 - 09/14/18 07:18 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Have been suicidal since I was 5 years young. Docs reckon it's just something i'm gonna have to live with. Comes and goes in waves - very normal to me. When i'm not like that i'm really up and energetic and eventually I wonder how I could ever let myself get so down in the first place, which usually leads to some sort of existential derealisation thing..I dunno. What i'm tryna say is there's cool shit to live for - this thread is a really good thing. Cheers on behalf of my fellow sad sacks :thumbup:


--------------------
Hey hey..


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Sildara] * 1
    #25544036 - 10/17/18 11:03 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I watched a few of those YouTube videos, none of those people are healthy today. Seven psych ward stays in 11 years? How does that not speak to the futility of some people, myself included, continuing on?

I don't believe there is an afterlife, my belief is that consciousness is merely another sense, like taste or touch, we just don't understand it well enough. I believe that it connects us, and the increasingly horrific ills of the world are a result of the collective consciousness being poisoned by politicians, businessman, psychopaths, and all of the people that want power over all else. I believe the world is sick and getting sicker by the day. If at the end of all this I will merely fade to black, out of the 100 billion years or however long it takes the universe to no longer be able to sustain matter, I will be less than a blip, on the galactic scale I could barely have said to have existed at all.

There are only a small handful of people that would be affected at all, every day is another that could be spent mourning my loss, learning how to move on. I've systematically destroyed my relationships with friends and family. I was fired 4 times in six months for 4 completely different reasons, and yet I can't help but think they are all the same reason.

I'm about to turn 30 and the only woman who has been willing to touch me told me I was a creep. Which, incidentally, directly lead to losing my best friend at the time. Or rather, I destroyed the relationship with my own lack of coping skills. This friend asked us not to date, then when it was over she understandably didn't want to pick sides, and I couldn't handle it.

Every morning I wake up, I wish I hadn't. I've grown fearful of sleep, as it's becoming my new alcoholism. Oh, did I mention I got fired 3 of those 4 times AFTER I quit drinking, a problem I had for 7 years and managed to stop with no help from anyone? Even when I take steps to be a better man, it still results in failure and tragedy. I have no real marketable skills, even with a goddamn BS in chemistry, which as it turns out is good for being one step above the guy who scrubs the tanks on Sundays. I'm not ugly, I'm not stupid, I'm a hard worker. None of it matters to anyone, women are repulsed by me and employers have no interest in me.

Now that I'm about to roll over another decade, I've missed out on all the things young people are supposed to have. I've never had a good job that liked me, I have no idea how to be in a relationship, and now I'm going bald and my teeth are falling apart, probably both as a result of my depression. I even used to enjoy writing, but now all I can think of is my ex-gf looking at me in horror as she read the story I wrote for her.

I just don't understand what is so great that's worth living for. I don't even remember what being happy feels like, this medication keeps me from the worst depths of depression but it doesn't give me a reason to live. I don't see how someone could just learn that


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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OfflineVroomerMcZoomers
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: bloodsheen]
    #25563546 - 10/24/18 04:05 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

That really moved me, man.

That's such genuine suffering.  Such rich, exquisite suffering

I wish you didn't have those reductive materialistic beliefs though, which perhaps validate your ideas about being such a small event in the totality of the universe...and make that seem like a meaningful concept.

Maybe if you could believe that what's going on here is the evolution of consciousness, it could give you a foothold.


--------------------
 

Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.  -Noam Chomsky


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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: bloodsheen]
    #25571989 - 10/27/18 07:21 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
I watched a few of those YouTube videos, none of those people are healthy today. Seven psych ward stays in 11 years? How does that not speak to the futility of some people, myself included, continuing on?

I don't believe there is an afterlife, my belief is that consciousness is merely another sense, like taste or touch, we just don't understand it well enough. I believe that it connects us, and the increasingly horrific ills of the world are a result of the collective consciousness being poisoned by politicians, businessman, psychopaths, and all of the people that want power over all else. I believe the world is sick and getting sicker by the day. If at the end of all this I will merely fade to black, out of the 100 billion years or however long it takes the universe to no longer be able to sustain matter, I will be less than a blip, on the galactic scale I could barely have said to have existed at all.

There are only a small handful of people that would be affected at all, every day is another that could be spent mourning my loss, learning how to move on. I've systematically destroyed my relationships with friends and family. I was fired 4 times in six months for 4 completely different reasons, and yet I can't help but think they are all the same reason.

I'm about to turn 30 and the only woman who has been willing to touch me told me I was a creep. Which, incidentally, directly lead to losing my best friend at the time. Or rather, I destroyed the relationship with my own lack of coping skills. This friend asked us not to date, then when it was over she understandably didn't want to pick sides, and I couldn't handle it.

Every morning I wake up, I wish I hadn't. I've grown fearful of sleep, as it's becoming my new alcoholism. Oh, did I mention I got fired 3 of those 4 times AFTER I quit drinking, a problem I had for 7 years and managed to stop with no help from anyone? Even when I take steps to be a better man, it still results in failure and tragedy. I have no real marketable skills, even with a goddamn BS in chemistry, which as it turns out is good for being one step above the guy who scrubs the tanks on Sundays. I'm not ugly, I'm not stupid, I'm a hard worker. None of it matters to anyone, women are repulsed by me and employers have no interest in me.

Now that I'm about to roll over another decade, I've missed out on all the things young people are supposed to have. I've never had a good job that liked me, I have no idea how to be in a relationship, and now I'm going bald and my teeth are falling apart, probably both as a result of my depression. I even used to enjoy writing, but now all I can think of is my ex-gf looking at me in horror as she read the story I wrote for her.

I just don't understand what is so great that's worth living for. I don't even remember what being happy feels like, this medication keeps me from the worst depths of depression but it doesn't give me a reason to live. I don't see how someone could just learn that





Sorry you feel that way. A therapist suggested to me using all my senses and visualize an uplifting comfortable place. Like a beach or something.  Takes you out of your head. Practice. 
That story you are telling yourself would be troubling to anyone. Fuck all the politicians and their poison. You're the most important person.
Find things, no matter how small, you are grateful for and write them down every morning. Especially the small things. The smaller the better. That's where it all begins.


--------------------


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InvisibleMr Piggy
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: bloodsheen] * 1
    #25591830 - 11/04/18 04:47 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
I watched a few of those YouTube videos, none of those people are healthy today. Seven psych ward stays in 11 years? How does that not speak to the futility of some people, myself included, continuing on?






That's not futility, that's survival.  Each day is a victory.

I also don't believe in any kind of an afterlife or worldly purpose.  Sometimes it makes it incredibly difficult to push on, so I watch futurama for the feels and try again the next day.

It's hard when you don't have a belief system to use as a crutch.  It's eternally annoying when people think you're being negative just because you don't think life exactly serves a purpose, or that sentience was a mistake.

But that belief also leaves you free to do the things you want.  That can be difficult to figure out, so on the bad days I do the small stuff.  Eat a dough nut I like because I can.  Watch futurama for the thousandth time because I can.  Read a book I've already read because I like it.

Physical motion helps me as well.  Going on a walk with no particular objective a lot of times turns out to be very satisfying.  One time I followed a snail for an hour just for the hell of it, and it was awesome!


You do you.

:heart:


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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Mr Piggy] * 2
    #25592789 - 11/05/18 01:02 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

NZ! NZ! NZ!
0800LIFELINE
1737 to text with or talk to trained counselor 24/7
Local DHB crisis team
111
Just in case anyone from Aotearoa is in need.


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OfflineKing Klick
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: Acuriousmycologist] * 1
    #25598406 - 11/07/18 01:40 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

I will hold your pain for you. Take it off, it's heavy, it'll make walking through life easier. Message me for my number.


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul



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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: King Klick]
    #25610997 - 11/13/18 03:10 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Quote:

King Klick said:
I will hold your pain for you. Take it off, it's heavy, it'll make walking through life easier. Message me for my number.



I wish it worked that way

I guess nobody will ever actually find this so I suppose this is a good place to put it. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It's a clinical way of saying I'm a born asshole, useful to nobody and destructive to all. I can never have a healthy relationship, I push people away so I can abandon them before they abandon me, or confirm in my mind that everyone will leave me. To say I have a low self-esteem is to say a desert has low humidity. I had a time where I avoided mirrors so I didn't have to look at my face, now I hate myself so much I don't even relate to what I see there. In my mind my teeth are black, my skin pock-marked and covered in acne, my eyes grey and beady.

I used to cry or rage out at least 3x a week, sometimes both in a day for a week or more. Now that my chemistry has been balanced by my medication, all that's left is hatred for myself. It's the only thing I think about, even my dreams are about failing the people around me in one way or another.

I even used to have fantasies about dying heroically, like jumping in front a bullet to save a baby or something. Now I don't care how it happens, if someone was willing to stab me to death I would be up for it. Anything for my last act on earth to not be my fault. Anything to never drag another innocent person into my unyielding hell on earth.

I'm even such a coward that I'm afraid to do more research on BPD. From the little I've seen, therapists have little sympathy, they truly see me as the infection of society I always feared I was. People like me are so broken we don't even know how to love properly, let alone function as a decent human being. The only reason I haven't killed myself already is because I stupidly thought if I could show my parents how much pain I was in they could forgive me and themselves for my death. I really underestimated their infinite stupid hope, they really do still believe after all this horseshit that there is some future where I'm basically ok.

Maybe I will still get lucky and get cancer. Fingers crossed


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: Shroomery Suicide Prevention Thread [Re: bloodsheen]
    #25611010 - 11/13/18 03:24 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

why dont you believe you have value?  what is it about yourself you hate and loathe so much?


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welcome to my world http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/326


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Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

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