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Anonymous #1
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are you at your best while you're in a relationship? 1
#25051037 - 03/09/18 04:33 AM (6 years, 20 days ago) |
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do you think you're more productive? I know I am.
but it isn't authentic, ya know? it's like I wanna better myself, but only for that person..?
like it's good, it has lasting effects. life-long effects, really. but I'm not doing it for me. isn't it supposed to be for me?? that's it, that's my problem...
it's like they made me wanna get in shape, so I eat healthier and workout - "good" made me wanna continue my education - "good" hygiene - "good" stuff like that
but it doesn't matter, because I'm doing it for them. basically living like a slave...or a clown. what is a clown if not a face painted slave???
I'm a — I'm a... Big, ugly clown-o; A big, sad, ugly clown — ohhhhh...
insecure
Edited by Anonymous (03/10/18 09:20 AM)
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Asclepius
Human Being
Registered: 01/09/18
Posts: 2,209
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#25051043 - 03/09/18 04:37 AM (6 years, 20 days ago) |
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I personally like the independence of not being in a relationship. When I am in one, I always feel compelled to act in a way I wouldn't ordinarily. Maybe I've been in some shitty relationships relative to others' relationships? I would not say I am at my best emotionally when in a relationship.
-------------------- A society governed in terms of double standards is self-destructive
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student
Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? (moved) [Re: Anonymous #1]
#25053121 - 03/09/18 08:39 PM (6 years, 20 days ago) |
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This thread was moved from The Pub.
Reason: Belongs here.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? (moved) [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#25053560 - 03/10/18 01:37 AM (6 years, 19 days ago) |
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I haven't been in a relationship yet but I definitely feel like sex makes me a better person. Too long without sex and I turn into an angry, whiny, anti-social, misanthropic asshole. I actually feel myself getting more and more selfish as my dry spell continues. If I'm getting regularly laid though, it significantly heightens my sense of empathy and ability to connect with other people. I feel more calm, social, secure, and have a much more positive outlook on the world. I can literally feel my mind repairing itself as the girl runs her hands over my body. Because of this, I think sex is almost as important to a person's health as masturbating is. Its part of why I pursue sex so desperately, because I hate myself and how I act when I'm going through a dry spell. If I stop masturbating and stop having sex, it becomes a really bad combination. Back before I let myself masturbate whenever I wanted and was trying to repress myself (this was many years ago), I was such an asshole I don't even recognize myself from back then.
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Violet Wizard
Violet Prisoner
Registered: 10/30/17
Posts: 1,508
Loc: Nothing and Nowhere
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? (moved) [Re: Anonymous #2]
#25058845 - 03/12/18 05:12 PM (6 years, 17 days ago) |
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I only discovered myself after my 6 year relationship ended. After we decided to “dissolve the title” as I call it because she’s still my best friend, I was left alone for the first time in 6 years. I practically lived with her for 4 years, as most codependent relationships our love wasn’t circumstance but fate to both of us, we held on as long as we can but in the end it was the best decision.
After that I cared about my self way more. Granted I haven’t been looking for anyone or anything in the over 2 years since we separated but I like looking good. All my clothes fit I have moved through various phases in my life settling on this representation of myself, which is completely new.
If I stayed in that relationship I wouldn’t have matured or not as quickly. We both still “love” each other as a brother and sister would but it’s way more fun this way because we can still play fight and neither of us thinks it more then a family like thing.
Short answer is no I’m my direct experience I express my individuality way more single then I do when I’m with someone, and I love me!
-------------------- Promise me to pass the time. Dance with me on plastic tears. Kiss me, we won’t feel alone, till morning when we disappear.
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SpencerPhillips
Registered: 08/18/12
Posts: 656
Loc: ON, Canada
Last seen: 1 month, 6 hours
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? (moved) [Re: Violet Wizard]
#25060187 - 03/13/18 09:48 AM (6 years, 16 days ago) |
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Quote:
Violet Wizard said: I only discovered myself after my 6 year relationship ended. After we decided to “dissolve the title” as I call it because she’s still my best friend, I was left alone for the first time in 6 years. I practically lived with her for 4 years, as most codependent relationships our love wasn’t circumstance but fate to both of us, we held on as long as we can but in the end it was the best decision.
After that I cared about my self way more. Granted I haven’t been looking for anyone or anything in the over 2 years since we separated but I like looking good. All my clothes fit I have moved through various phases in my life settling on this representation of myself, which is completely new.
If I stayed in that relationship I wouldn’t have matured or not as quickly. We both still “love” each other as a brother and sister would but it’s way more fun this way because we can still play fight and neither of us thinks it more then a family like thing.
Short answer is no I’m my direct experience I express my individuality way more single then I do when I’m with someone, and I love me!
Great response, would read again. I'm on a constant search for good advice.
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feevers
Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,591
Loc:
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? (moved) [Re: SpencerPhillips]
#25060218 - 03/13/18 10:03 AM (6 years, 16 days ago) |
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For me, yes, for really too many reason to write out. Allowing yourself to completely open up and expose your flaws, as well as examine how you react to their flaws, is a profound experience in getting to know yourself and becoming a better person. Much of the same can be said for close friends, but a sexual relationship can often go much deeper.
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JackiiBoii
1
Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 39
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Re: are you at your best while you're in a relationship? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#25204813 - 05/15/18 04:45 AM (5 years, 10 months ago) |
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I wouldn't say I've been at my best in past relationships. In past relationships I have actually been at my worst, I think this is due to the fact that they have been with the wrong person. I am currently single and I'm improving my life, alone. I feel it's probably best to reach your best before you get into a relationship. I'd never get into a relationship on a bad mindset either, because you'll become too attached to that person, because they'll become your main source of happiness.
There's a lot of negatives to relationships, they're not all flashy selfies, holidays, homes and children. Some people can take ages to really discover their life long partner, whilst others find them straight away. But all I know is, I've definitely not been at my best in past relationships.
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