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 ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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 Fed up with drugs, possibly for good?  2
#25036156 - 03/03/18 02:31 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm fucking tired of daily drug use, and I don't even use as much as I used to but between the Etizolam and kratom dependencies I'm basically in a perpetual state of minor withdrawal and low-energy. Take too much kratom and I get nauseous and then cold a few hours later, take too much etizolam and I lay around all day and then feel jittery and uncomfortable a few hours later.
Even pot doesn't have a big allure right now, probably because I'm coming off of benzos and I won't be able to stand the anxiety. I'm not completely writing it off but I have no inclination to smoke.
I don't know what the point of this thread is but I'm wondering if anyone feels the same way?
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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 Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward 
Last seen: 2 months, 9 hours
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 Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25036167 - 03/03/18 02:38 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah man I feel you
I had the flu this week and am taking the oppurtunity to quit weed (high quality concentrates) again
I love getting nodding stoned but its starting to effect me mentally during the day and also I just want to be free
I am not free
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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...
A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.
 
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Cbozpizza
Hobbyist
Registered: 03/03/18
Posts: 13
Loc: Fl 
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#25036168 - 03/03/18 02:40 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Moderation maybe?
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: Tripsurfer] 2
#25036177 - 03/03/18 02:45 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Here's to the quest for mental freedom 
Yeah thc can be very restricting of ones lifestyle in passive ways if its used with enough frequency. Some people are in denial over this for whatever reason.
I started doing drugs seeking freedom or enlightenment, then it became a hedonistic pursuit, and now even though I'm past the worst of my use I remain in chains.
Can't wait til these minor withdrawals are over. I'm freezing right now.
@cboz moderation isn't in my nature, which is a real shame.
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25036210 - 03/03/18 02:59 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah I'm cycling through benzo WDs as well. Definitely no way to live. Don't really see myself quitting any time in the near future together. The relief is hella sweet. I do take frequent tolerance break of 1-2 months
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I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 2 months, 9 hours
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25036219 - 03/03/18 03:00 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah man!
I was clean for seven years. Freest I have ever been
I also cannot do this in moderation. If its in the house I need to have it
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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...
A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.
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basqueshaman
Todays scapegoat
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 6,258
Loc: Washington State
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: Tripsurfer]
#25036247 - 03/03/18 03:13 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Switch to methamphetamine and bang dat chit!!!!!!!!!!
Problem solved 
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#25036253 - 03/03/18 03:15 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel you. When you haven't used a benzo in a while using one is like a perfect day... Nothing really seems uncomfortable and you've got energy and can sleep well etc etc.
I have been a frequent benzo cycler too Malcolm but I'm taking a week off of everything stronger than coffee and kava in hopes that I can extend that to a month and then more. After the week or two il probably allow a beer or so but id like to keep the benzos out of the picture.
Its not that I can't stop buying benzos its that once I possess some I usually don't stop til I run out
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 68,432
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 47 minutes
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#25036259 - 03/03/18 03:17 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Drugs are like ice cream. Its great after first. But when u have it everyday, it gets pretty old.
Thats why u should enjoy different flavors depending on the month or season. Or take Ice Cream breaks.
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StonedhillDefender
Thinks about Mars a lot
Registered: 11/29/17
Posts: 155
Loc: the void
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse] 2
#25036266 - 03/03/18 03:20 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quit man, give it a few months. You'll start feeling great again. If you smoke weed, stop that too (at least for a while, weed's great). I'm glad to hear you want to quit, it's probably for the best. Your body with thank you.
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YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25036313 - 03/03/18 03:39 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
ModestMouse said:
I feel you. When you haven't used a benzo in a while using one is like a perfect day... Nothing really seems uncomfortable and you've got energy and can sleep well etc etc.
I have been a frequent benzo cycler too Malcolm but I'm taking a week off of everything stronger than coffee and kava in hopes that I can extend that to a month and then more. After the week or two il probably allow a beer or so but id like to keep the benzos out of the picture.
Its not that I can't stop buying benzos its that once I possess some I usually don't stop til I run out
Yeah I hear you man. I generally try to by only 25-50 bars at time so I don't get too deep into it. Usually leaves me with moderate withdrawal for 3 weeks to a month.
Edited by Malcolm_Xtasy (03/03/18 03:49 PM)
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thelanzii
Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 3
#25036335 - 03/03/18 03:48 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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no such thing as moderation for the addict
i quit my drug of choice pot and concentrate a few months ago and it has been great a few shitty days here and there but the tradeoff is worth it
no more scummy ass drug dealer
no more waiting for the re up
no more dropping stupid cash
predictable mood
no drug hangover
no cloudy decisions
shits good real good
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twighead
mͯó
Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,234
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill
Last seen: 2 hours, 55 minutes
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#25036342 - 03/03/18 03:51 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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The key with drug use, is not doing shitty drugs 
Of course, benzos are going to make you feel like shit. That's what they do.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: thelanzii] 1
#25036351 - 03/03/18 03:55 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I like stories like this man, I'm happy for you. The key thing for me is the mornings and nights. The middle of the day is survivable as an addict - especially if you have your drugs of choice... Its the nights where you see the damage, tossing and turning with a rapid pulsating feeling in your head from your synapses working overtime as they spring back from the drugs... Then in the morning I can't get out of bed because I'm in withdrawal, cold, exhausted, covered in sweat.
I'm lucky enough that I work a flexible schedule but even with that grace it fucks with my job performance and I'm not going to let it keep happening.
@twighead - I would love to agree but that's a blanket statement and its not always true. For some people (myself included) benzos are a nice reprieve from moderate or severe anxiety and general stress. They do start to only make me feel like shit after 2 weeks on them though. In general you're right that they're pretty unsavory overall.
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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twighead
mͯó
Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,234
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill
Last seen: 2 hours, 55 minutes
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25036368 - 03/03/18 04:00 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I know they can be useful, and have a good effect - but any even moderately continued use as you say - ends up in a pretty horrendous withdrawal.
Dissociatives are my go-to for anxiety - one can binge on them for months straight and the worst that comes out of it is being a bit tired for a couple days when I come off of them.
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NOUS333
Stranger Than You
Registered: 12/26/15
Posts: 2,952
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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I quit pot and daily Xanax use sep of 17 and Kratom a while before that and it does feel good to be free for a while. I still take xanax, rarely though when I really need it. Lately I have a huge urge to start smoking weed again...Im holding out but I don’t know how long I can or will hold out for. Even though the last time I gave in and smoked it with no tolerance I had basically a full on trip and felt anxiety the next day etc I still love weed. It must be because I associate it with so many good people and times and memories from using it for over a decade. I also think it’s true that it really helps you get to know yourself better among other things I think it might do. It will be interesting to go back into using it with an objective perspective whenever I do go back to it. I’ve even thought of making a vlog or something when I do. Since it seems like so many stoners have the same opinions about it that just aren’t true like it’s not addictive. Might be interesting to document my experience being a decade long stoner who quit for a good period of time and is trying it again.
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper
Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,362
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: NOUS333] 3
#25036415 - 03/03/18 04:24 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I see the pattern all the time; start off taking psychedelics cuz it is a unique and interesting experience, eventually end up on opiates and/or booze.
I did it.
Been clean for 153 days now. I mean completely clean- no weed, beer, kratom, psychedelics, nicotine, etc. I did drugs daily for 13 years. I feel so much better now.
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse] 2
#25036474 - 03/03/18 04:55 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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plasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ
Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: zZZz]
#25036497 - 03/03/18 05:08 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Physical dependency is a shit way of life
Get your shit together
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: plasma]
#25036504 - 03/03/18 05:10 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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stay up G 
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: plasma]
#25036535 - 03/03/18 05:23 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
plasma said:
Physical dependency is a shit way of life
Get your shit together
Harsh but correct
Other than my dependence I very much have my shit together. But I could be achieving even more sober so that's the goal
Edited by ModestMouse (03/03/18 05:31 PM)
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plasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ
Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25036629 - 03/03/18 06:11 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I kicked dope for the same reason about 4 months ago
Waking up and being alive every morning without having to do drugs is amazing and we take it for granted
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NOUS333
Stranger Than You
Registered: 12/26/15
Posts: 2,952
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: plasma]
#25036685 - 03/03/18 06:38 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
plasma said:
I kicked dope for the same reason about 4 months ago
Waking up and being alive every morning without having to do drugs is amazing and we take it for granted
I agree but I still miss the days of smoking weed, waking up, rollling a number going outside and just contemplating my next move in life. Now that I’ve quit i realize I can go on without it. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t think there’s any benefit to doing that. I felt more connected to the deepest parts of who I am and what I desire. I think concentrates ruined a lot of shit for me personally with weed...I started using pot strictly indoors and way too often. I think a big part of the benefits I associate with all that come from the ritual of it similar to how I get a high from going for a long walk every day, overcoming the feeling of not wanting to somedays and then realizing I overcame and accomplished when it’s over...But there are things long walks can’t do that pot can like making music 10x more personal and meaningful. That’s one thing I miss the most.
When drugs become something that keep you from living how you would without them that’s when it creates a situation where you look back on years of your life in regret thinking ‘damn I could of done more’. This excludes drugs that enhance your ability to live a fulfilling life though of course. Shit like coffee. Nobody looks backs and regrets coffee.
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS
Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#25036744 - 03/03/18 07:05 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
Drugs are like ice cream. Its great after first. But when u have it everyday, it gets pretty old.
Thats why u should enjoy different flavors depending on the month or season. Or take Ice Cream breaks.
Yeah..I think I need an ice cream break, so many tubs. Almost in one sitting a few days ago. It was worth every bite. But now I'm out of ice cream.
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Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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plasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ
Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
#25036754 - 03/03/18 07:10 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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What flavor?
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: plasma]
#25036756 - 03/03/18 07:11 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm gonna guess white chocolate
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Rollin.n.Strollin
Registered: 07/25/16
Posts: 814
Loc: Australia 
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: plasma] 2
#25036790 - 03/03/18 07:26 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Drugs just do less and less for me as I get older, Took a few val's about a month ago, once upon a time I loved it, but now the idea of just getting high is pretty goddamn boring, I've lost a lot of friends because of this but I have zero regrets.
Chasing euphoria was the worst of it all, but after repeating the same shit over and over, I came to realize what I was really doing, nothing at all, just inhibiting who I really want to be.
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DustBunny
Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 10,404
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#25037061 - 03/03/18 09:54 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I think everyone who has abused any druq long enough feels the same at some point. "kindling" is the term used to describe how perpetually increasing permatolerance/dependency. Every new user can take 2mg Etiz/day for a couple weeks and be fine. Someone who has done this dozens of times will probably get significant rebound/wd; The more time we spend on them, the sooner and greater extent we feel withdrawal/rebound from them. Meaning, it will only get worse, each time you go through this cycle. Though outside of massive doses, sparing single use may not cause much rebound.
I would have assumed you've felt this way before when using H, however the fact you haven't is a great sign/idea on how quickly recovery can be. It's a feeling we can hide sometimes, but never forget. There's reason why so many would take opiod rebound over booze/benzo withdrawal 100% of the time, and it sounds like you're looking at it. Etizolam's metabolites do build up, but when your body is most addicted to the strongest/chief parent (etiz) chem, physical and psychological addiction develops very rapidly. You should recover fast if you refrain from all use. Several weeks might feel like an eternity, until you realize you've felt pretty good the past few days. Dwelling on it will only perpetuate every negative feeling, as panic attacks can feel identical to benzo withdrawal. You don't seem like you're prone to them, thankfully, but that may be all the more reason to keep it in mind, since you easily could find yourself dwelling on it at some point. As well as just having racing thoughts, often feeling way more stressful than they actually are, like worrying about smoking weed right now. If you don't want to, don't- you already know that it'll add potentially endless paranoia/exasparation. That said, know that it can help some people by acting as a "trial by fire" : going into it fully aware it will lead to ~30-180min of paranoia, after which comes a great sense of accomplishment, well-being, and relaxation. CBD or very high CBD bud is another story entirely.
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe
Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 24 days, 2 hours
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: DustBunny]
#25037077 - 03/03/18 10:02 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Nowadays I just smoke pot sometimes daily (depending how much I have)
Once or twice cocaine gram or 2 once a month
And trip on psychedelics a few times a year or every several months
Other than that I'm not into daily drug use
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And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile 
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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cannabinated
Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 14,743
Loc: Outside
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: SunnyD]
#25037150 - 03/03/18 10:45 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Poly drug use is a bitch. The dependencies grow at a slower rate but end up compounding at the end.
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Love_spirit
Circle Of Power
Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: cannabinated]
#25037202 - 03/03/18 11:09 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I enjoy the fuck out of poly drug use. I appreciate addiction. Withdrawl pains aint shit compared to the other hells I've been through. Grow some hair on yer chest.
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Niffla
Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,298
Loc: Texas
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#25037216 - 03/03/18 11:14 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
Drugs are like ice cream. Its great after first. But when u have it everyday, it gets pretty old.
Thats why u should enjoy different flavors depending on the month or season. Or take Ice Cream breaks.
Beautifully said.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
Edited by Niffla (03/03/18 11:17 PM)
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kent101
Stranger
Registered: 02/11/18
Posts: 307
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25037264 - 03/03/18 11:47 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I used to smoke weed but it never really made me feel well, especially in public. I took shrooms twice and that made me completely insane. I had to smoke weed to level my head when on shrooms.
Edited by kent101 (03/03/18 11:49 PM)
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe
Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 24 days, 2 hours
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: Niffla]
#25037268 - 03/03/18 11:50 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
Drugs are like ice cream. Its great after first. But when u have it everyday, it gets pretty old.
Thats why u should enjoy different flavors depending on the month or season. Or take Ice Cream breaks.
Beautifully said.
This
As I got over m addictions slowly but surely
Daily use of anything isn't really that great
--------------------
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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LightRay
Lord Hubert
Registered: 07/18/17
Posts: 598
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: Fed up with drugs, possibly for good? [Re: ModestMouse]
#25037337 - 03/04/18 12:44 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Over the past 2 years I've quit everything except occasional beer and weed and even those are starting to annoy me.
With meditation and exorcising I can stay in a state of constant joy and contentness and be happy almost all the time.
Any drug I take, even coffee has a noticable effect on my ability to stay in that state. All these drugs with trigger off the thinking mind spontaniously into negative thought spirals.
I used to take kratom and eti too, it really lowers your mood over all and can cause many other mental health issues such as inability to coordinate and lathargy. It givs you a short temporary release of aniety or stress but the comeback is extreme even if one has got used to it and not noticing it so much...
Compared to eating / drinking healthily + daily meditation these drugs don't eve come close to the higher states we can be in all the time without any comedown or days of battling the waves of negativity and WD.
Most of these habits are litterally that, just habits and if you sit down and logically assess - is this substance actually helping me long term to improve myself and be happier the answer is always no.
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