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Anonymous #1

How do you bring up your drug history to a potential partner?
    #24997248 - 02/15/18 06:50 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

When getting to initially know someone and seeing if we are compatible relationship wise I always feel lost when it comes to telling them my history. I'm the type of guy who likes to lay it all out like this is who I am, this is what I've done, this is how it has changed me and made me into who I am. I'm not proud of my former hard drug use but I'm on the road to recovery and have been for some time. I no longer use aside from my prescription daily 2mg of klonopin.

Like I said I want to display the true me and not beat around the bush about my past but at the same time it seems to scare people away when you tell them you used to be on the needle. When is the right time to bring it up? I want to be honest but I don't wanna be that guy that pours my life story out on the first day and sends the girl running for the hills.

Peace

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OfflineDoc9151M
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Re: How do you bring up your drug history to a potential partner? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #24997268 - 02/15/18 06:58 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Just the way you said above. I got it out right away when I met my current wife. Why get involved with someone over a period of time and chance it being wasted because they can't deal with your baggage? Up front and honest is the best policy imo. To be clear, I only do that with potential partners, everyone else can mind their own shit.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: How do you bring up your drug history to a potential partner? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #24997641 - 02/15/18 10:24 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

If your past scares someone off, then they were not the right person for you anyway.

Better get that acid test out the way sooner rather than later, IMO.

Life is too short to waste it on judgemental people.


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Re: How do you bring up your drug history to a potential partner? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #24998437 - 02/16/18 10:13 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

I'll echo what everyone else said. I'm not defined by my past addiction but it's certainly apart of who I am and a huge part of my past. Spending any time hiding that is just a complete waste of time and a disservice to myself/them I'm not willing to do.

You don't need to tell war stories right off the bat but phrasing it the way you did in this post seems pretty spot on.


JSB summed it up really well, I think.


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Re: How do you bring up your drug history to a potential partner? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25001404 - 02/17/18 02:08 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Because there is so much stigma attached to hard drug use, especially IV drug use, you have inevitably narrowed your options of romantic partners in this society, if you are to date as an honest person. 

This is not a bad thing.  If you're the kind of person that has had a tumultuous road to your current life state, then you're the kind of person that should be with someone that isn't so insecure that they hold someone's past against them.  Someone that is opened-minded and accepting towards what made you who you are today.

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I want to be honest but I don't wanna be that guy that pours my life story out on the first day and sends the girl running for the hills.




^^This is key.  Incremental self-disclosure. You don't treat people people as a dumping ground for your idiosyncratic autobiography when you first meet them.  If s/he is  genuinely interested in getting to know you, then hopefully you have relatively natural-feeling opportunities to discuss such things.


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Re: How do you bring up your drug history to a potential partner? [Re: Society]
    #25007065 - 02/20/18 12:35 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

I never disclose my drug use right away unless someone asks about it.

Yeah it's fucked up to have to tell someone you used to shoot dope. I usually wait until I've already slept with them a few times. That way they've gotten to know the current me a little. Also the further behind you it gets the less bad it will sound. If she judges you on needle use that only ended a month ago that's kinda reasonable but in my case it's been 7 years since I last shot dope and if someone were to judge me badly about something I did that long ago then fuckem.  Not the kind of person I want to be around.

Funny enough, most women I date turn out to have their own drug history from when they were young.


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