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OfflineViolet Wizard
Violet Prisoner
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Registered: 10/30/17
Posts: 1,508
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: triphead9428]
    #25016862 - 02/23/18 06:35 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

^ though I sort of understand that slightly how can someone actually be of value to you if you don’t see them or have use for them in that many months?

To be quite honest I “burn my past where it lies” so I never remember anyone, seems more embarrassing for them when I don’t know who they are then it is for me. So like Tuesday I couldn’t remember this girl I ran into at the bar but I haven’t seen her since 2011 so I didn’t remember her that’s like a life time ago, she thought I should though lol.

I just don’t see the point in “keeping people around just in case” that’s not how I operate. Either we are communicating and you have use or I drop you as not having one. “Use” can be common social and environmental situation or seeing each other enough routinely but I’m not one to think people have a value beyond when they are in my life... even my long time best friend from middle/high school... he’s the only one I will talk to after months of no contact.


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Promise me to pass the time. Dance with me on plastic tears. Kiss me, we won’t feel alone, till morning when we disappear.


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Invisible36fuckin5
Alchemycologist


Registered: 08/11/03
Posts: 12,083
Loc: Diving into Mystical Territori...
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Violet Wizard]
    #25016898 - 02/23/18 06:50 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

A lot of my contacts are spread out all over the country. I call them up when I'm in town. Other ones are local business owners so I can get a job. Some are coworkers so I can have someone cover shifts. Some are just friends who I do contact once in a while. We all understand that we all work and have lives, kids, etc. But we make time when we can. I have a handful I see weekly or so.


--------------------
Redd Foxx said:
If you're offended I don't give a shit and don't come see me no more.

Pat The Bunny said:
A punk rock song won't ever change the world, but I can tell you about a couple that changed me.

bodhisatta said:
i recommend common sense and figuring it out.

These are the TEKs I use. They're all as cheap and easy as possible, just like your mom.

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OfflineViolet Wizard
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Male


Registered: 10/30/17
Posts: 1,508
Loc: Nothing and Nowhere
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: 36fuckin5]
    #25016910 - 02/23/18 06:55 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

^ good explanation, thanks that does make a lot of sense


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Promise me to pass the time. Dance with me on plastic tears. Kiss me, we won’t feel alone, till morning when we disappear.


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Offlinetriphead9428
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Violet Wizard] * 1
    #25016980 - 02/23/18 07:32 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Violet Wizard said:
^ though I sort of understand that slightly how can someone actually be of value to you if you don’t see them or have use for them in that many months?

To be quite honest I “burn my past where it lies” so I never remember anyone, seems more embarrassing for them when I don’t know who they are then it is for me. So like Tuesday I couldn’t remember this girl I ran into at the bar but I haven’t seen her since 2011 so I didn’t remember her that’s like a life time ago, she thought I should though lol.

I just don’t see the point in “keeping people around just in case” that’s not how I operate. Either we are communicating and you have use or I drop you as not having one. “Use” can be common social and environmental situation or seeing each other enough routinely but I’m not one to think people have a value beyond when they are in my life... even my long time best friend from middle/high school... he’s the only one I will talk to after months of no contact.




Burning bridges tends to bite you in the ass later. You might not see it now, but its good to have an expansive social network even if you're not contacting all those people. You probably only need three close friends, but having casual friends who can hook you up with a lot of opportunities does increase the quality of your life too.

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OfflineViolet Wizard
Violet Prisoner
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Registered: 10/30/17
Posts: 1,508
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Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: triphead9428]
    #25017052 - 02/23/18 08:01 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

^people say that but I don’t see how it will, that’s the one thing I don’t see eye to eye with. I won’t rob the thread with my own tangent anymore but I’ve tried to present that argument to myself but I just don’t see people in my past as having use in my future.

These are probably the reasons I don’t get laid to connect it back to the original question. Being nihilistic and independent only seems cool from a distance close up it probably seems isolating and lonely also getting laid means random interactions which you get more by not being me. I however can’t stop myself from being me which is why I’m interested in the other side, it’s like someone who doesn’t see in color asking what the big deal in color is when you still see the world.


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Promise me to pass the time. Dance with me on plastic tears. Kiss me, we won’t feel alone, till morning when we disappear.


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InvisiblePlain
You are the universe
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Registered: 05/30/16
Posts: 1,620
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Violet Wizard]
    #25017670 - 02/24/18 04:56 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

5 penetration and a few more hjs and BJ's so I clicked 5-10 instead of 0-5 just felt more fitting I guess


--------------------
"You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

- Eckhart Tolle

“Everybody is ‘you’. Everybody is ‘I’. That’s our name. We all share that.”

- Alan Watts

"Cosmic apotheosis wears off quicker than Salvia"

- Rick Sanchez (voice of Justin Roiland)

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Plain]
    #25018758 - 02/24/18 02:55 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

You know given that I know you personally Plain, and your situation, I really wanna recommend that you put in some work to get that number up. If you're a man who's in touch with his emotions (for arguments sake, lets call it your feminine side), which I think you are, and do not make the #1 mistake that most men make sexually (which is to put your own pleasure before your partners, and rush to the finish in doing so) then you WILL impress any sexual partners you have, for most women seem to find most sexual partners quite unimpressive. Being the one that stands out isn't hard, given the baseline set by most men. Self control isn't hard, when you think about it.

This, in turn, would increase your confidence and attract more women to you. It might feel a bit hollow and forced at first, but you're a fucking good guy - you just need some results to get you snowballing into the good vibes. And, even though I know there's not a huge amount going on where you live, there's always good women in any part of the world, if you put in the effort to look and get talking to them.

I think taking your five to a fifteen or twenty could be just what you need. I feel quite superficial in saying this, but in the long run I think it would be so worth it. Since getting over the twenty mark myself and getting a ton of good feedback about my sexual abilities, my confidence has shot up massively. To the point where I'm metaphorically 'beating them off with a stick'.

I understand we're all different of course, but given the huge importance of sex in our lives, I also think there's something a bit universal about it too.

Hell, Just look at the animals, and the importance they place upon it:





--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25018762 - 02/24/18 02:57 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Violet Wizard said:
Though I understand the math I dont even think I've connected with 10% that number of people on a level beyond random interaction or fleeting acquaintanceship and im not exactly young either LOL.



You know I was actually thinking about you and your stance on this subject earlier VW.

I'm curious; how do you feel when you lay eyes on an extremely attractive woman?



VW, you never responded to me on this. Completely understand if you dont wanna answer, but if so, would you please say so?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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OfflineViolet Wizard
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Registered: 10/30/17
Posts: 1,508
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #25018773 - 02/24/18 03:06 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

^ it depends, usually fleeting feelings of attraction. I do admire beauty, its why i collect cut gem stones, like growing flowers, going to art galleries, watching the sun set... women are similar in a sense. So its not that I cant admire their beauty but its the same as thinking a sunset will last forever or the beauty of my flowers will stay for more then a few weeks.

I am also slow to trust people or allow physical contact. So I need repeated exposure to find someone attractive on a level beyond "fleeting beauty" as I have taken to call it. Its why I enjoy autumn (living in new England) its hard to put into words but thats really what it is. So like "attractive" to me means "ability to admire natural beauty for what it is" thats different then sexual desire which takes repeated exposure for me to get to.

Sorry didnt see the proposed question. I have no issues answering these things as it is how I understand myself, its hard to pose these questions/answers things to myself. You guys dont know who i am and even if you did you'd pretty much know I am like this.

I've just really been trying to avoid cluttering this thread with my own self serving posts, especially if i come off as whining or complaining. Its not exactly my style.


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Promise me to pass the time. Dance with me on plastic tears. Kiss me, we won’t feel alone, till morning when we disappear.


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InvisiblePlain
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25018991 - 02/24/18 04:44 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
You know given that I know you personally Plain, and your situation, I really wanna recommend that you put in some work to get that number up. If you're a man who's in touch with his emotions (for arguments sake, lets call it your feminine side), which I think you are, and do not make the #1 mistake that most men make sexually (which is to put your own pleasure before your partners, and rush to the finish in doing so) then you WILL impress any sexual partners you have, for most women seem to find most sexual partners quite unimpressive. Being the one that stands out isn't hard, given the baseline set by most men. Self control isn't hard, when you think about it.

This, in turn, would increase your confidence and attract more women to you. It might feel a bit hollow and forced at first, but you're a fucking good guy - you just need some results to get you snowballing into the good vibes. And, even though I know there's not a huge amount going on where you live, there's always good women in any part of the world, if you put in the effort to look and get talking to them.

I think taking your five to a fifteen or twenty could be just what you need. I feel quite superficial in saying this, but in the long run I think it would be so worth it. Since getting over the twenty mark myself and getting a ton of good feedback about my sexual abilities, my confidence has shot up massively. To the point where I'm metaphorically 'beating them off with a stick'.

I understand we're all different of course, but given the huge importance of sex in our lives, I also think there's something a bit universal about it too.

Hell, Just look at the animals, and the importance they place upon it:









HEY JSB! It's been a while since we talked. Ive slept with one girl since the last time we talked but I've been going through legal trouble and I'm looking for a job. My last hook up was short lived because the girl I was sleeping with wanted a relationship and I couldn't give her that because I can't be a good boyfriend right now and she deserved someone who can take her out to dinner not just sit at home and smoke weed.

One good thing about my last hook up is it gave me confidence to know I can get a girl if I wanted. I  just started to realize it would be better for me to focus on getting a job and getting off probation, that way I can contribute to a relationship. Right now I'm in the process of getting a job and I quit smoking weed and nicotine products. Once I get my shit together I plan on redownloading tinder and going back at it. Back when I was jobless and smoking weed all day I was matching with girls up until they find out I don't have much to offer other than some dick. I was lucky to meet up with a sweet girl who looked past that but I couldn't lead her on and had to end it so she could start dating a guy who could actually give her the relationship she wants.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm really working on myself and becoming the best me I can be so that way I can show these girls a better time than just banging them out at my sister's house and having them leave the next morning. Don't get me wrong that sounds good and all in writing but in practice it's quite boring and empty I would like to actually go out do something then bring these girls home not just have them come over for a random hookup.

But I do completely understand what you mean and I do aspire to get my numbers up to 20s -30s mark AT LEAST before I start to settle down. I'm young still 22 y/o so I'm not to worried about timing and I'm more goal oriented around being successful in my life because I feel like that will attract more of the type of girl I'm looking for I hope. Anyways it's always nice getting some solid advice from you man. :pm: me sometime let's catch up


--------------------
"You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

- Eckhart Tolle

“Everybody is ‘you’. Everybody is ‘I’. That’s our name. We all share that.”

- Alan Watts

"Cosmic apotheosis wears off quicker than Salvia"

- Rick Sanchez (voice of Justin Roiland)

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Anonymous #5

Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25019968 - 02/25/18 02:41 AM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Being the one that stands out isn't hard





This is excellent advise for young men. And is not techniques and tricks. You just put yourself in the other persons shoes. Emotionally and physically. Imagine what they feel as they feel it and you will just know what to do. Breathe when they breath. Its like matching her steps as you walk together. Then you will just sense when she needs to be held closer, when she needs a firmer hand or needs to stop....and then....go.

And its not hard to be the one who can know whens the time to defile her and when to behave considerately. You can have casual partners and still be emotionally intelligent. And if you can master making women feel valued while respectfully holding your own boundary of remaining single your booty call phone will be ringing off the hook.

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OnlineKryptos
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #25025158 - 02/26/18 11:06 PM (6 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Being the one that stands out isn't hard





This is excellent advise for young men. And is not techniques and tricks. You just put yourself in the other persons shoes. Emotionally and physically. Imagine what they feel as they feel it and you will just know what to do. Breathe when they breath. Its like matching her steps as you walk together. Then you will just sense when she needs to be held closer, when she needs a firmer hand or needs to stop....and then....go.

And its not hard to be the one who can know whens the time to defile her and when to behave considerately. You can have casual partners and still be emotionally intelligent. And if you can master making women feel valued while respectfully holding your own boundary of remaining single your booty call phone will be ringing off the hook.





This may be excellent advice for many men, but I think this is somewhat akin to telling poor people "Have you tried being less poor?"

From my observations of myself and the people around me, I think that most people don't know *how* to stand out. I'm 100% certain that I wouldn't have a GF right now if my (considerably more successful) friend didn't coach me through almost all of our initial interactions, on more than one occasion literally answering texts for me. Some may call this dishonest, I call this using the available resources. Of course now I maintain the relationship alone, and quite happily, but it never would have happened if not for the coaching. She would have guaranteed moved on to the next guy in line. She told me as such.

Personally, I do not attract people in any way shape or form. I have few friends, fewer lovers that didn't involve drugs from back when I did some side-business in college (pretty sure most, if not all, of my sexual partners were girls that hooked up with me for discounts, based on my post-businessman luck), and literally no idea where to go or what to do to find other people. I swipe my way through tinder routinely, of course, but find that 99% of my matches fizzle out within a few messages. Any of the "classic" places to meet people, like bars, clubs, whatever, just don't work. On more than one occasion I've effectively gotten a girl drunk enough to go sleep with the guy next to me, but never had one go home with me. Most of my interactions with the opposite sex almost feel like pity dates, or in some cases chicks that want free dinner. That's why I almost always ask to split the bill.

I think that there is something to be said for the way monkeys mate in the wild: one or two alpha males take all the women, and 70-80% of monkeys die virgins. I know that I pay more attention to more attractive women, why should I assume women behave any differently?

Standing out requires being noticed for something. It is easier to be noticed for the nice BMW or the big shiny pecs than anything you can potentially offer emotionally, and eventually, you just end up emotionally stunted. I'm pretty sure my interactions with people in general and the opposite sex in particular feel weird to the other person involved in the interaction. Like I have the mind of a child, emotionally speaking. And I can see it happening, I analyze the interaction, see the potholes, and dutifully step into them no matter how much I avoid it. Now all I stand out for is constant awkwardness. I am most definitely socially inept.

The funny thing is, my GF has told me that other girls notice me all the time when we walk down the street, but I don't see it. She claims I'm a 6/10, but I think that was mostly to make me feel better. Probably closer to a 4. She has also said she's cool with me hooking up with other girls, and has encouraged me to find side-chicks. That's probably partially because she knows I won't be able to, no matter how much I try. Maybe it's so she can have guilt-free side dicks. I don't really care.

I've considered going to some adult social skills classes, like the kind they have for autistic people, but haven't because I think that would be offensive to the people that should really be there. My particular lack of social skills consists of me spending most of my time listening, and answering rarely if ever. I have noticed on more than one occasion that I feel like I'm having a conversation with a group of people, but then realize that I haven't said a word in hours. People have literally forgotten I was sitting there in front of them before.

I also think that there is something to be said for people that are unsuccessful becoming less and less successful as time goes on. Especially when it comes to social skills. Once you drop to a certain point, you stop having the social skills or presence to develop better social skills. It's like how you lose your voice after not using it for a while. Maybe you lose confidence, maybe you let the anger or sadness take over. I most definitely have trouble looking at people as full, three dimensional people, and after a while I start seeing people as 2d cutouts. NPC characters in a video game. This only serves to alienate me further from social connection, creating a feedback loop.

Alcohol helps. Alcohol makes me social. But I can't drink every day, not anymore. I'm already most definitely addicted, and have been doing my best to cut back. I don't want to die yellow and bloated at age 35.

Either way. The feel-good platitude of "there's someone for everyone" is false. There's someone for everyone that has the skills to get them and hold on to them. Or maybe just hold on to them, as I've said, I most definitely don't have the social skill to get my GF, that required the intervention of someone with more skills than me. I couldn't stand out on my own. Even now, with full hindsight, I can't tell what my buddy did that I couldn't, I just know that I couldn't do it.

Edited by Kryptos (02/27/18 01:26 AM)

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Anonymous #5

Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Kryptos]
    #25026308 - 02/27/18 01:14 PM (6 years, 30 days ago)

^Have you read any speed seduction? Ross Jeffries. Influence a woman's emotional state. Thats all. Know what to talk about to keep the good vibes going. Pay attention and reflect back the good stuff. Its great for nerds and nice gugs. Ive used it in many situations. Women would rather have someone who they are in a good emotional state with than flashy possessions and model looks. And if they dont respond then that stuck up cunt will be like a peice of wood in bed. move on.

It seems really dated and outrageous in this #metoo age but just use your powers for good.your only levelling the playing field and learning skills that the social butterflies do without noticing.

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OfflinePsilosopherr
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #25027241 - 02/27/18 07:55 PM (6 years, 30 days ago)

Well I'll be. I thought I was quite the loser at 8 women.

:whatyougonnado: :lol:

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OnlineKryptos
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #25027929 - 02/28/18 04:36 AM (6 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
^Have you read any speed seduction? Ross Jeffries. Influence a woman's emotional state. Thats all. Know what to talk about to keep the good vibes going. Pay attention and reflect back the good stuff. Its great for nerds and nice gugs. Ive used it in many situations. Women would rather have someone who they are in a good emotional state with than flashy possessions and model looks. And if they dont respond then that stuck up cunt will be like a peice of wood in bed. move on.

It seems really dated and outrageous in this #metoo age but just use your powers for good.your only levelling the playing field and learning skills that the social butterflies do without noticing.





I have not. Those books don't really help. My problem isn't knowing what to talk about, it's remembering to open my mouth and say something once in a while.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
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Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Kryptos]
    #25031647 - 03/01/18 12:43 PM (6 years, 29 days ago)

LOL, I have the exact opposite problem.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Violet Wizard] * 2
    #25031655 - 03/01/18 12:47 PM (6 years, 29 days ago)

Quote:

Violet Wizard said:
I've just really been trying to avoid cluttering this thread with my own self serving posts, especially if i come off as whining or complaining. Its not exactly my style.



Please don't feel that way man, that's what we're here for; to share anything and everything!

I have long wished the female form didn't have the effect on me that it does. It can be really intoxicating. It sounds to me like life would be a lot simpler if I felt the way you do about it!!


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Invisibleelasticaltiger
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Kryptos] * 1
    #25031803 - 03/01/18 01:48 PM (6 years, 28 days ago)

Quote:

Kryptos said:
Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
^Have you read any speed seduction? Ross Jeffries. Influence a woman's emotional state. Thats all. Know what to talk about to keep the good vibes going. Pay attention and reflect back the good stuff. Its great for nerds and nice gugs. Ive used it in many situations. Women would rather have someone who they are in a good emotional state with than flashy possessions and model looks. And if they dont respond then that stuck up cunt will be like a peice of wood in bed. move on.

It seems really dated and outrageous in this #metoo age but just use your powers for good.your only levelling the playing field and learning skills that the social butterflies do without noticing.





I have not. Those books don't really help. My problem isn't knowing what to talk about, it's remembering to open my mouth and say something once in a while.




The techniques do work. I had great success with them and while I don't use the shady mind tricks anymore the confidence it left me with no makes it easy to approach any woman. I banged a lawyer last year. It was awesome.


--------------------
First time growing cakes? DON'T make a Shotgun Fruiting Chamber

The Shmuvbox. - The Old TC's Like it :shrug:

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No Pouring. No Syringes. No Cutting. No flaming. No Contamination. No Bullshit.

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EZEKIEL 23:20

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OnlineKryptos
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: elasticaltiger]
    #25032170 - 03/01/18 03:28 PM (6 years, 28 days ago)

^ I'm sure they work. I'm sure they're the super awesome best. I'm also going to go ahead and assume, based on skimming the first few chapters, that these working techniques assume you remember to open your mouth once in a while.

This isn't something that happens only around women. This is something that happens around everyone. There is a reason most people that first meet me assume that I don't like them (and act accordingly), and that reason is because it's not unusual for me to have a several hour long social interaction, where the only things I say are "hello" and "seeya".

It's not that I don't know what to say, it's that I forget to say it.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop cluttering up this post, as I am quite off-topic. If I get around to it, I'll post my theory on human interactions in a new topic.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: How many sexual partners have you had? [Re: Kryptos] * 1
    #25032205 - 03/01/18 03:45 PM (6 years, 28 days ago)

Nah man, that ain't off topic - in fact, I'm quite fascinated. As I said earlier, I suffer the opposite end of the spectrum - I can talk over weaker personalities very easily, without realising that I am; and then when I do realise it, I wish that I'd have taken the time to ask questions to bring them out.

So tell me, please; what would someone have to say to you to really get you talking about yourself?


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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