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You realize that sort of defeatism is classic depressive thinking, right?
If self-harm is involved I am sure a psychologist/psychiatrist is going to recommend medication as a first line treatment. It's helpful no doubt, but long-term studies have shown that therapy and medication are more effective than just medication. Talk therapy tends to be very cathartic for many and therapists can certainly help give you tools to deal. Talk therapy helps you take inventory of your thoughts and helps you frame them in an appropriate context that does not involve self-harm.
A shitty hand being dealt never ever helps, but if you've been suicidal since 13 then it likely isn't just a shitty hand being dealt. There are people with way shittier situations and way less opportunity who do not self-harm. I know that's not reassuring and perhaps even somewhat discouraging, but it's the truth.
You can get what you want out of life. You may feel old and burned out, but you are young and have years ahead of you. You can turn things around and you deserve to. Do you really want to spend more years feeling miserable?
Had recurring thoughts of suicide since I was 10 until my mid-twenties. Took a near death experience or two to make me realize that wallowing in depression for years was a bunch of bullshit. Been there done that. Wish I had ignored the negative people in my life who attached a stigma to getting help for psychological issues and gotten help sooner.
Re: I've wanted to kill myself since I was 13 [Re: Anonymous #9] #19360026 - 01/02/14 08:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)
i appreciate serious posts and experience of other i do try therapy and the whole list of psych meds not the good ones the allegedly more effective less "addictive" ones if i can take so much xanax it is because it is actually helpful in thought stops considerably non addictive meaning it works, and good sleeping pills work self meddication i assumed this thread was worse until i actually looked at the first post iy id hostile how i feel is not impressed sober or confused about basically whatever the fuck Either im fucking done mentally or there is no way not to post anonymous but i don't was to find where i said i wouldnt but I've been wrong and said opposite fuck the anonymous featureThis thread is bullshit i will clarify not anonymously I wanted to only get high and really not live a long life. I couldn't figure out which way if I really thhought even when not high and can't say drugs aren't really helping it. let it be known bullshit idont give a fuck what i wrote if i can't tell what memories are mine or what where they happened. i just fundamentally thought dying was not as unclear as live and kind of have to agree that i should learn to not or actually do something, I might consider trying if stimulants are not going well but then I want to organize everything every aspect and just don't and I just want life that is not like mine. Im coming down and i dont fucking care what instinct compulsive mindless shit i say other than how do i avoid stimulants in particular if i dont control it
That is not dying I've been on meth i think at last night and slept 12 hours before meth and before sleep before the sleep in 4 days a bottle of 60 30mg fuck you calculator i don't care adderall tablets was empty and I don't really give a fuck as to what i say sober high or anywhere in between. I mean if I did try to die i guess it really wasn't important because i don't recall much at now other than what the fuck
Edited by Anonymous (03/18/17 04:40 PM)
Re: I've wanted to kill myself since I was 13 [Re: Anonymous #11] #24206846 - 03/31/17 12:42 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)
I personally believe that people who think that someone who is suffering to a degree they no longer want to live are 'selfish' for making them sad....are far more selfish. I mean, that argument is basically 'idc how bad you feel you have to stay for my sake so I don't feel sad'. I mean, you can let someone know that you really don't want them to die without guilt-tripping them :/
That said, I've been long-term depressed in the past- for me, getting out of it was a matter of finding a social set that didn't believe 'not normal' was a horrible-terrible-bad thing. (I'm a schizo who sees psychedelic-type 'visuals', as well as being agender) Once I'd replaced 'friends' who expected conformity at all costs...and some who were just awful people... with decent ones who didn't, a basic antidepressant and some self-directed-study on psychology (stuff that affected me, stuff on why 'normal' people are like they are, coping strategies etc) was enough to get me to a point where I could begin getting the rest of my life into a shape I could be happy with.... it took some time, but these days I don't need the antidepressants, and don't revert to '...well, this is all hopeless and unbearably awful...' so easily.
Something to consider is that while many people who /don't/ have major factors leading to depression will knock medication as being some sort of crutch, or not being 'the real you'.... it's just like any other situation where something in your body (in this case, possibly something in your serotonin/rewards system, if you've been that depressed since 13) isn't doing its job properly or has external factors borking it, and needs some chemical assistance to level out. If an antidepressant and/or counselling can help get you to what neurotypical people would consider 'baseline', it's worth considering.
Re: I've wanted to kill myself since I was 13 [Re: Anonymous #1] #24864756 - 12/23/17 11:13 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)